"I could almost misconstrue this as tenderness."
"Is this not what you want?"
"Yes." She sagged against him. "It is, so I will not question it. I know that it means nothing to you, yet if you chose to you could seduce any woman in the world with such a touch."
"Indeed? Rest assured, seduction is not my intent. I have always supposed it to be folly for a eunuch to arouse the passions of a woman, since such unspoken promises can never be fulfilled. All who gained my embrace died in it, and those who did not feared for their lives even as they sought my arms. That was part of the excitement, I suspect."
"Not for me," she murmured. "Perhaps it is because I love you, and therefore my life is yours should you choose to take it. I suppose you have a dagger hidden somewhere, as you always do." She searched him for a weapon.
He smiled. "I fear you find me unarmed, my lady."
Chiana gazed up at him in a puzzled manner. "Just a few moments ago you were angry, now you seem content. I find your moods too quick to follow. They leave me floundering in confusion."
"I was mildly annoyed, nothing more. I have never been a cruel man. How can I remain annoyed with one who embraces me so warmly and professes undying love? I do not enjoy such displays of affection, but in Jadaya..." He paused, frowning, wondering why he was telling her so much, then sighed. "I discovered what it is to be rejected by one for whom I cared."
"You care for someone? Who?"
"My sister."
She drew back to study him. "Your sister is alive?"
"Not anymore. I killed her."
"You would not do such a thing."
He smiled again. "You know me so well."
"Well enough."
"Indeed. But because of me she was murdered, so I may as well have slit her throat myself."
"But you did not."
"No."
"Then you are blameless." She caressed the tattoo at the base of his throat. "It must have been terrible for you. I am sorry."
"She was ashamed to have an assassin for a brother. I revolted her, and she shuddered at my touch."
"She was wrong."
"No, she was right. She was ashamed of what I have become because she knew me before I became it. I was a stranger to her. We brought each other nothing but sorrow, for she could see the blood on my hands, and I saw myself through her eyes."
She gazed at him. "Are you ashamed of what you are?"
Blade hesitated. "No. I chose it. I have even learnt to be proud of it, for it is all I am good at. But her fear of me made me see myself as she did, a heartless killer whose hands have been steeped in so much blood that it can never be washed off. It was not an unfair judgement; just one I wish had not been true. I longed to join her in death."
Taking advantage of her slackened hold, he pulled free and walked to the window to gaze out. Chiana watched him, biting her lip, then joined him, putting a hand on his back. He frowned at the gardens.
"What changed your mind?" She caressed his back. "Did you wish to see me again, perhaps? Did you crave the love and acceptance you knew I would give you? Is that why you have returned to me?"
He glanced at her, the hope shining in her eyes telling him of the answer she craved. A wry smile tugged at his lips as he turned away. "No."
"But you came here to see me."
"Not willingly. I was going to go directly to my estate, but Jayon persuaded me to see you." He shrugged. "Anyway, I have business here, which would best be attended to in person."
"What business is that?"
"I am retiring. I must inform the guild, and, since I am the Master of the Dance, I have to hand over the belt to a younger man. It is unusual for an assassin to be the Dance Master when he retires, so I have to perform certain ceremonies."
"Then you will go to your estate, and I shall not see you again for twenty years."
Blade turned to face her, frowning. "Why would you wish to? I am of no use to you. You would do better to forget me."
"I could never do that. You have much to offer. Your companionship, your conversation and advice. Your mere presence is a comfort to me, just being in the same building, never mind the same room. Your support would be a great help in issues of state, and your aid in raising Queen Kerra-Manu is something Minna-Satu herself required of you."
"And what is in that for me? I have no wish to be caged in this infernal cesspit of slander and plotting, nor have I anything to offer the future Queen. What would you have me teach her, how to throw daggers and slit throats?"
"That would not be such a bad thing, and you are My Lord and husband. You have much to offer as a father figure to a young girl."
"I have no wish to stay here, nor is it safe now that Cotti live amongst us. I have slain three Cotti princes in Jadaya. If I am found, they will execute me."
Fresh tears spilt down her cheeks. "But I cannot come with you."
Blade swung away, gripped the window ledge and stared out at the gardens. Chiana sniffed and scrubbed her cheeks, knowing that her weeping only annoyed him. "What happened in Jadaya? Why did you slay more princes?"
"I had no choice. Kerrion took me prisoner before I took the Cup. To regain my freedom and retain my health I had to do as he said. Also, he found my sister as payment for the death of the princes who plotted against him."
A knock at the door made Blade turn, and Chiana looked away to hide her tears as Arken entered bearing a tray of wine, fresh bread and cheese. He beamed at Blade, bowing when he had put down his burden.
"My Lord, welcome back."
The assassin inclined his head, and the servant retreated, grinning. Blade walked over to pour the wine and sample the food, leaving Chiana to follow. He washed down a mouthful of bread and cheese with a gulp of red wine.
"Anyway, I have to take an apprentice when I retire, and I cannot do that here. He will be a street urchin with no manners and light fingers who will probably kill without hesitation."
"Must you?"
"Yes, I must."
"Then I shall find a way to see you, no matter what it takes. I will come to your estate in disguise and appoint a trusted advisor to rule in my absence."
His eyes narrowed, raking her with an angry, disbelieving glance. "You cannot do that. You are forbidden to leave the palace, and you can trust no one to take your place while you are gone. Such a plan is madness. Have you lost your wits completely? Is this what love does to people?"
"Yes." Chiana hung her head. "When two people love each other, they cannot bear to be apart, and if you loved me you would not leave me."
"Well I do not, as you well know, nor will I ever. And even if I did, to stay here is certain death if the Cotti discover me."
"I would not let them take you."
He gave an angry snort. "You would start another war. Even Kerrion cannot prevent my execution now, should I be caught. I killed Prince Ronan before half his court."
"I see." She slumped, picking up a cup of wine. "Then you must go."
"And you will stay here."
Chiana gazed at the wine, unable to meet Blade's steely eyes, knowing that she would find no pity in them. "Yes, My Lord."
"Do not think to appeal to my pity, Chiana. Such displays of submission, though admirable, are wasted on me. The situation does not allow for your romantic notions, nor do they impress me."
"But you do care about me," she averred.
His brows rose. "Whatever gives you that idea?"
"If you did not, you would not care what happens to me. Yet you clearly do, or you would not show such concern."
"The worst that will happen to you is that you will be deposed, and Minna-Satu chose you as Regent. I would like to see her wishes carried out, although even that does not overly concern me. What does concern me is the thought of having you on my estate, pestering me endlessly with your half-baked ideas about love. I want a peaceful retirement."
Blade banged down his cup and marched to the door, jerked it open and slammed it behind him. Chiana gaze
d at it, blinking back the tears that stung her eyes, then shook her head.
"You are a liar, Blade."
Chapter Eleven
The following day, Blade sent a message to the assassins' guild requesting a meeting with its elders. He received a reply the day after, offering to meet him the following night, a mere three days after his return to Jondar. During that time he found himself a great deal in Chiana's company, whenever she was not required for official duties. At her urging, he told her about the Cotti, describing the city, its people and customs. Each day she sought him out, usually at meal times or in the evenings, sometimes bringing the infant Queen with her.
Kerra had grown into a chubby baby who laughed a lot and smiled even when she was asleep. He was glad that Chiana did not try to insist on spending the night with him, although she made it clear that it was still her wish. When she was not around, Jayon was, and Lirek visited to welcome Blade back. He exercised in the afternoon when the Cotti advisors were at prayer, and counted the days until he could leave. The advisors soon learnt of his presence from their spies, but Chiana met their demands to have him arrested with vigorous denials of his continued existence and dismissed the accounts of their spies as rumours or ghostly visions.
Her acid mockery of their suspicions deterred further demands, and she feigned great distress at the mere suggestion that her husband was alive. With the palace servants devoted to keeping the advisors from glimpsing him themselves, his presence remained a mystery. As soon as he had handed over the belt to his successor, he would go to his estate and enjoy some true peace.
That night, Blade walked the several miles to the ancient site where the guild met, wearing the belt he would soon give up. The thought of relinquishing it brought a pang of regret and stubborn pride, knowing that he was still capable of defending it if he was prepared to accept the pain.
Common sense urged him not to try, and he resolved to heed it, even though giving up his status in the guild pained him deeply. He could not retire and remain the Master of the Dance, for any assassin capable of winning such an honour was deemed fit to practice his trade. Even though he would become an elder, he would remain a junior member of the higher circle until he had reached a more venerable age. Torn by his conflicting desires, he approached the ring of stones that marked the guild's meeting place.
Torches lighted the scene, adding to the brightness of the full Tree Moon, and the number gathered at the stones surprised him. It required only the elders to accept his resignation, yet it seemed that the entire guild was present. Aware that the silver designs on the belt set him apart from the black-clad throng, he strode into the brightly illuminated centre of the ring. Talon came forward to meet him, followed by three grey-haired elders. Blade stopped before his former mentor.
"Greetings, Elder Talon."
Talon's slanted eyes raked his former pupil. "Welcome, Dance Master Blade. I was most surprised to hear from you again. We all thought you dead."
"I'm quite surprised to be alive myself." He glanced at the wooden platform in the centre of the ring of stones. "Do you plan to put the belt up for challenge straight away?"
"Why not? We've selected a defender, but he'll accept challenges tonight, if there are any." Talon smiled. "It's also for you."
"I will not dance again. I'm retiring, it's not required."
"Only once before has an assassin retired while still holding the belt, and he retired early, at only six and twenty. You, on the other hand, are past the age of retirement, yet still retain your title. None here can deny that you've successfully defended it, nor does anyone seek to challenge you."
"Then why must I dance?"
"To prove that you cannot defend it." Talon put a hand on Blade's shoulder, leaning closer. "When Bolt retired, he was crippled by a broken ankle that did not heal straight, leaving him with a twisted leg. None denied his inability to defend the belt, and he had only to show his limp upon the stage. You show no such handicap, and it's been decided that if you can still defend it, you may keep the title after you retire, until such time as you can no longer defend it."
Blade shook his head. "I cannot complete the Dance. It would be pointless to try."
"Then don't." Talon shrugged. "No one here wishes to force you, yet all agree that none are as good as you. How much you do is entirely up to you, and if you choose to stop halfway then so be it, you lose the belt. If, however, you find that you can complete the Dance, you will retain the title of Master."
"Why do you wish to tempt me?"
"It wasn't only my decision. We decided that any who inherit the belt by default will feel that there's still an assassin, retired or not, who can beat them, and thus feel unjustly honoured. All you have to do is prove your inability, so your successor will know that he's the best, and not a second-rate replacement."
"I see." Blade nodded. "Isn't it enough that I tell you I'm incapable?"
"I'm afraid not. All who have come here tonight wish to see you dance one last time, and there are many. In fact, I think the entire guild is present. Swift, you'll be glad to know, has returned to his town, so he won't be amongst the possible recipients."
"Good." Blade glanced around at the silent crowd. "Who's the chosen defender?"
"A young man named Strike." Talon beckoned to the crowd, and a slender youth left the ranks to approach them. He was, Blade judged, in his early twenties, the prime of his career, and walked with the gliding grace of a snake.
Blade's mouth twisted with distaste. "A poisoner."
"In a way. He uses a poisoned blade."
"I remember another who did that, and ended up dead by his own poison."
Strike raised his chin. "Then he was a fool."
"Accidents happen, boy."
"Only to the foolish and unwary."
"You think so?" Blade smiled, noting the youngster's shiver. He looked at Talon. "He's the best you have?"
Talon nodded. "In our opinion."
"Well not in mine."
"You've never seen him dance."
"Since I'm now retired, I'm an elder, and I would like to choose my successor. Let all who wish to challenge for the belt dance, and I'll decide who's the best."
Talon turned to the three elders behind him, and they drew together in a muttering huddle.
Strike scowled at Blade. "You're only a junior elder. You have no power in the higher circle."
"I'm the Master of the Dance. I'm retiring because I'm sick of the trade, not because I can't do it anymore. I don't even have to accept your challenge. If I hadn't chosen to come here tonight, no one would have dared to challenge me."
Strike stepped closer, a hand on the hilt of a tiny dagger. "I would."
Blade eyed the youngster. "Have a care that your little pin does not leave its scabbard, boy. If it does, I'll slap you down so fast you won't know what's hit you."
"We should make this a proper Dance, a duel to the death. Would you accept that challenge?"
"No. I have nothing to prove, unlike you."
Strike turned his head and spat. "At least I'm not a coward."
"You're a complete moron." Blade turned away, insulting the young man further with his disdain.
Talon returned before Strike could reply, noting the tension in the air. He gave the young assassin a push, sending him back to the throng, and Blade turned to face him.
"The elders have agreed, but you still have to dance. Obviously Strike won't win it now."
Blade smiled. "I doubt it."
"No one can deny that you've earned the right to choose your successor. I think even the elders are quite daunted by your accomplishments."
"And they don't even know about the three Cotti princes I've added to my tally since I left."
Talon inclined his head. "Indeed, they don't. It's strange, I've been urging you to retire these last two years, yet now I almost wish you were not going to. As my former pupil, your glory has rubbed off on me."
"You taught me well."
"My tea
ching had nothing to do with it. I'm not even a dagger man. I merely showed you the various methods; you chose your own and perfected it. As for the dancing, you surpassed me in a few weeks, and that was raw talent, nothing less."
Blade smiled. "High praise indeed, from my mentor."
"I'm proud of you." Talon patted Blade's shoulder, as he had often done when Blade was young, and the gesture brought back many memories. Talon glanced around at the patient throng. "Well, we had better get started, lest we try the patience of these young assassins to its limit."
"It should be limitless."
"True, but many are apprentices. We have a handful of youngsters here who await initiation, and since we have such a fine gathering we've decided to do it tonight. They'll dance first, and you, as an elder, will judge one of them."
"You have not yet made the announcement."
"Well everybody knows..." He hesitated, catching the look in Blade's eyes, and went on, "But of course we must make it official."
Talon turned and walked to the platform, mounting the steps in the tense silence that fell. The gathering seemed to hold their breath as he stood facing them. He cleared his throat, drawing out the suspense.
"Tonight we are gathered to witness a retirement and ascension to the circle of elders, something that does not happen for all of us. He steps down at the great age of thirty years, after plying his trade with marked success for twelve of those years. He's one well known to you all, who has brought high repute to the trade of assassins, and whose talents will be sorely missed. His tally of official assassinations, not counting those who got in his way and paid the price..." He paused as a soft ripple of chuckles went through the crowd. "Stands at two hundred and eighty-seven all told, including the Cotti king and four of his sons."
A mutter of surprise ran through the assassins' ranks, and many cast disbelieving looks at Blade. Talon's announcement tightened Blade's throat and brought a pleasant glow of pride that warmed him.
Talon went on, "This exceeds the previous highest tally, set by an assassin named Claw almost a hundred years ago, by over fifty kills. You all know his name. Amongst us he is known as Blade, but he has other titles earned over the years.
The Queen's Blade III - Invisible Assassin Page 16