by Blue Saffire
I like that Sienna never makes a big deal about my limp. She doesn’t look at me with sympathy or like I’m some kind of charity case. Trisha had started to do that a lot. Well, that and obviously fucking other men behind my back.
When I make it to the door, she stands patiently with it open. “You had a remarkable turnaround. I just want you to know that I’m proud of you.”
Damn, she’s fucking beautiful, and the sincerity in everything she says is heartening.
“It’s all because of you, beautiful,” I say it jokingly, but I mean it.
By the time I showed up in her office, I had let my anger get the best of me. She’s helped cool my head a little. I’m not by any means cured, but I’m not as angry as I once was.
She shakes her head. “Always the flirt,” she teases.
I walk into the lobby of her office, heading toward the receptionist to pay for my visit for today, when a voice gets my attention. “You’re Dean Anderson.”
I turn around to find a light brown skinned kid with deep dimples and light brown eyes. Apparently, the kid got into a fight, because he’s sporting a cut lip and there’s signs of swelling under his right eye.
This obviously isn’t the first time I’ve been recognized since being back in Fort Smith. I get it often. Especially being it’s my hometown, but it seldom comes from a kid.
“Yeah, I’m Dean,” I say to the boy.
His eyes widen and for a moment he looks familiar.
“I… I got your Rookie card…” The kid pauses for a second in between his sentences. “You played 127 games, you hit 27 home runs, 61 RBI’s, .264 batting average and had 506 plate appearances.”
Damn, the kid knows my stats better than I do. And not once did he pause in reciting them.
“Great. It was nice meeting you,” I say stepping up to the brunette behind the counter. The kid, clearly not understanding the conversation is over, steps up with me and continues to talk.
“I watched the video on YouTube…” He does that pausing thing as if he’s trying to figure out what to say next. “You know the one where you messed up your leg…” Another long pause. “It looked bad. My dad said you faked your injury because you were starting to stink it up, but I told him that wasn’t true.”
Would it be wrong for me to tell this kid his dad is a fucking pussy?
“Glad you had my back,” I say turning to the receptionist to hand over my card.
“I need your help…” Long pause. “You see, my baseball team needs—”
“Maddox?” Sienna’s voice cuts the kid off and we both turn toward her.
“What are you… what happened to your face?” She rushes over to stand in front of the kid, examining his busted lip and swelling eye.
I look back at the kid and then to the brown skinned beauty clutching his face between her palms.
No way!
“Hey, Mom!” The kid says pulling away from her examination. “I got into a fight. The school called Dad when they couldn’t reach you. He dropped me off here because he had plans with Bethany.”
She has a son. I’m still trying to get over that. I would’ve never considered that.
It’s not like I know much about her. Most of the time when we’re together, we’re talking about me. She has pictures on her desk, but I’ve never gotten a look at them.
I did notice from the first day that she wasn’t married. I checked her ring finger right away, but it never crossed my mind that she had a kid. Does she have a boyfriend too?
“Are you kidding me?” Her voice raises, “Just go to my office, Maddox.”
“Wait!” He argues turning back to me. “I was just about to ask Mr. Dean to coach my baseball team.”
My head swings to the kid. He looks up at me pleadingly with wide eyes, the same shape as his mother’s.
“Maddox, Mr. Dean is busy. He doesn’t have time to coach a baseball team. I told you I would find someone.”
“But there’s no one better than him.”
“MADDOX…” She takes a breath to calm down. “In my office.”
Maddox drops his head in defeat and heads toward the office. Once he’s behind the door, Sienna steps up to me.
“Sorry about that. He loves baseball, and his father usually coaches his little league team, but the new wife has a baby on the way and apparently it consumes all his time.”
There is more to it than that. Something she isn’t saying. She shrugs and shakes her head.
“Now Maddox has a team, but no coach. You would think since I’m at all the practices anyway, I should be able to coach, but I don’t know enough about baseball.” She cracks a smile for the first time since finding her son in the lobby. “Anyway, that’s not your problem. So, I’ll see you next week, and then you’re free.”
Free.
Again, those words don’t sit well with me. They twist my stomach in a knot and make my palms sweaty. I’m not sure I can do this on my own. I still occasionally feel that anger inside me when I’m not in this office, when I’m not in her presence. And though I have no right to feel this way, I’m not sure I’m ready to let go of seeing Sienna.
Without further thought, I say, “I’ll do it.”
Chapter 2
Ulterior Motive
Dean
Sienna lifts her brows and looks just as stunned as I am. What the hell am I doing?
“You don’t have to do this.”
I take a step toward her eating up the little space that’s between us. “I don’t mind. Besides, it may be good for me. What’s that thing you said I needed?”
She gives me one of those sexy smiles. “A coping mechanism.”
“Exactly. This could be my coping mechanism.”
“Practices are three days a week for two and a half hours. Not to mention when the season kicks off and it’s every weekend. I don’t think you understand the commitment this takes.”
“I got this. It’s no different from when I played.”
I can tell by the look on her face she still isn’t feeling this. It makes me question why? Does she not want me around her kid? Does she think I’m too volatile to be around children? I don’t like the idea of her thinking that about me. Once again, I start to regret the terms in which I met her.
She touches my arm briefly, grabbing my attention. “What are you thinking?” I forgot how perceptive she is.
“If you don’t want me around your son, I get it.”
She shakes her head at me with one of her smiles. “I have no problem with you being around Maddox. Despite what you think, you aren’t a loose cannon. I just think that you being my patient, coaching my son’s team would cross the line into some ethical issues.”
At this I smile. It’s stupid, but it did bother me that she might have thought I’m not a good role model. Doesn’t matter that I’m not.
“How will me coaching your kid’s little league team be unethical? We’ll just be in the same general area of each other. Most of my time will be on the field anyway, and there will be other parents around us.”
She catches her full bottom lip between her teeth, and that little line creases her brow. She’s seriously thinking about this.
I don’t even know why I’m fighting so hard for this. I haven’t been on a baseball field since my incident. Shit, I couldn’t even talk about baseball until a year after the surgery. I honestly don’t even know if I can deal with being back out there, but the thought of not being around Sienna is pushing me to make this offer.
She said I’m doing better. That I’m not as angry as when I first showed up in her office, but it has nothing to do with coping, it’s all her. Just being around her. If I need a coping mechanism, it’s Sienna Washington.
So, for her, I’d step back on a baseball field for the first time in three years.
“Are you sure you can handle this?”
A smile breaks across my face. “Absolutely. This is perfect for me.”
She blows out a breath and I already know that’s
a sign of relenting. “Okay.”
“Yes!” a small shout has us both turning around to find her son peeking around the corner.
“I thought I told you to wait in my office?” She scolds him lightly.
The kid ignores her, walking up to me digging something out of his backpack.
“You have until 6:00 p.m. today to get this information filled out and take it to Thunder Baseball Academy.” The kid hands me a packet of papers.
He’s serious about this, and obviously prepared.
I flip through the stapled sheets he hands me. Damn! Am I applying for a loan? What the hell do they need all this information for?
“Don’t worry,” she says with a grin. “I’ll call Phillip, the director, and tell him we have a coach. He’ll give you an extra day to get the information back to him.”
Once again, she reads my concerns. I exhale a breath in relief.
Sienna reaches out and touches my arm again, this time her hand remains. And just that simple connection sends goosebumps over my flesh. I have to make myself stay focused and not let my mind wander to how that soft touch would feel wrapped around my dick.
“Thanks for doing this. Baseball is a big deal for Maddox.”
“No problem. I’m glad I could help.”
We both allow for a moment of time to pass between us. It’s no denying that I’m attracted to her. And sometimes, I feel like there’s something there when she looks at me. A glimpse, maybe she sees me as more than just a client with anger issues. However, like always, that glimpse gets shut down. The professional wall goes up and I’m back to being just her client.
“Well, all right,” she says removing her hand from my arm. “Don’t forget to make that appointment.” She turns around and grabs her son’s hand.
I watch those full lovely hips walk away. Her ass is fucking fantastic.
I know that I can’t have a relationship with Sienna. I’m a train wreck. She needs a man with his shit together, not a soon to be divorcee with a drinking problem and anger issues. However, knowing that doesn’t keep me from wanting to see her or fantasizing about fucking her on her desk.
“Mr. Anderson?” the receptionist says getting my attention. I turn around as she hands me my debit card and a card with my next appointment on it.
I once had to wait several days to see her again—to watch those expressive eyes light up when she thought I made a breakthrough, or her gorgeous smile when I said something to make her laugh. But now, I won’t have to wait so long. I look down at the papers in my hand. I don’t care how much work it will be to fill out this application, I’m going to turn it in today before six.
Sienna
“Hey sissy!” Erica’s voice comes through on the second ring.
My big sister is also my best friend. We had a solid bond growing up and even though she’s six years older than me, we act like we’re twins.
“How’s my new nephew?” I ask referring to her three-month-old.
“Asleep. Thank God.”
“And my favorite brother-in-law?”
“Tired,” Kevin shouts through the phone. “Your crazy sister won’t let me go to sleep.”
“You owe me some alone time,” Erica fusses.
“I can call back,” I say laughing at the playful couple.
Kevin and my sister are definitely relationship goals. They are like kids in love despite going on ten years of marriage.
“No, you’re fine. I always have time for my baby sister. What’s up?”
“You’re never going to believe what happened today?” I announce happily as I roll onto my back on top of my bed.
I’d just gotten Maddox to sleep. It took a while. We had a long talk about his behavior at school today. Plus, he was so excited to have Dean coach his team he couldn’t settle down.
Who am I kidding? I’m excited to have Dean coach his team. After all the shit Maddox’s dad has been putting him through lately, the kid deserves some good news.
“You finally dusted the cobwebs off that coochie and let Mr. Cute and angry break that back?”
“Erica!” I laugh. “You really have to stop reading those romance novels.”
“What’s the use of having your own office if you aren’t going to have hot sex in it?” she whines.
“Is Kevin hearing this right now?”
“I’m ignoring her.” Kevin’s muffled voice can be heard through the phone.
“Whatever, both of you are boring,” Erica jokes. “Did he at least guess who you are today?”
I snort. “No, but he’s getting close. He’s in college years now.”
Erica laughs. “In no time he’ll figure it out. I don’t know why you won’t just tell him.”
Sitting up on my bed, I fold my legs like a kindergartener. “Erica, you know how bad high school was for me. I don’t want to remind him of that. Plus, what’s the use? It’s not like anything can happen between us.”
“My poor little sister. You finally get alone time with the guy you’ve been crushing on since high school and you can’t even be with him.”
“Not until two years after I release him as a client. Yes, I double checked.”
Erica bursts into laughter on the other end of the phone. “See, there’s a silver lining. What’s an extra two years?”
I shake my head at my sister even though she can’t see me. “A lot when it’s Dean Anderson. Eventually he’ll come around and he won’t be on the market long. Some cute, skinny, blonde will grab him up, and he won’t remember some fat black chick he was forced to talk to.”
“First of all, you’re not some fat black chick. You’re a highly educated, thick goddess. You’re beautiful, don’t ever forget that.”
I love my sister, but she doesn’t understand the scars I carry. Erica has always been on the slim side. Although neither of us would’ve been considered skinny, but her size eight looked a lot different from my size twenty growing up. In high school, I was the fat girl with homemade clothes and thick glasses. My hair went through a transition from relaxed to natural and I had bad acne. I felt ugly, and it didn’t matter if everyone else agreed or not—which they did—it was an internal battle.
It took going off to college and finding myself to finally realize my true worth. Yes, I dropped the glasses for contacts, but even when I’m wearing my glasses now, I still feel beautiful. I even shed some pounds. I’m still not skinny. I doubt I’ll ever be, but I’m healthy and more active.
My outside appearance has obviously been different, but it’s my inner demons that got the biggest overhaul. I stopped viewing my beauty by the standards of others and just saw my own worth. My kinky curly natural hair with all its different textures is gorgeous.
My brown skin with its golden undertones is striking. Even my full lips and brown eyes are unique and beautiful. I didn’t change the way I look, I just changed the way I look at myself.
This worked for me, until Dean walked into my office. Of course, all my scars from high school came rushing back. It was a godsend he didn’t recognize me right away.
“Beautiful or not, Dean isn’t going to wait around for me.”
“Didn’t you say he flirts with you his entire sessions?”
A dorky smile spreads over my face when I think about his flirty ways. “That doesn’t mean anything. He’s vulnerable and becoming attached to the first person that makes him feel normal again.”
Erica scoffs. “I think you’re overthinking it. You’re applying your degree to a very common situation. Man likes woman, man hits on woman. It’s as simple as that.”
“You don’t understand,” I whine. “I can’t get my hopes up. He’s still married.”
“Girl, don’t get me started on that tramp,” Erica states with her voice full of virulence. “I still owe her these hands for all the shit she pulled.”
I went up against a lot of bullies in high school. Trisha Lovewood had to be the worst. The girl had everything she could’ve ever wanted, popularity, money, and the lo
ve of the hottest guy at school. Yet she took joy in making me, and others like me, miserable. She made my four years hell.
“I shouldn’t be talking about this with you.”
“Girl please, this is all public knowledge. Kevin and I both said the same thing. He may be a little broken, but he’s still a man. And no man will ever recover from what she did.”
“I agree.” Again, Kevin breaks into our conversation.
I hated that Dean and Trisha’s situation went public. He’s somewhat of a local celebrity. When his baseball career ended three years ago, the town never stop talking about it. So, when he and Trisha were forced to move back home a year ago, there was a big write up in the paper. I knew when all this went down, it would be the talk of the town too.
Everyone had already started to remark about the bitter and angry Dean Anderson working at his dad’s hardware store. So, when this story hit, it had been like adding fuel to the fire.
They didn’t understand that he was hurting. All his life he had worked for a dream. Then when he finally got that dream, it was ripped away from him because of a simple accident. Not only did he have to adjust to his dreams changing, but he realized the money he had someone handling was misused. He lost everything and was forced to come back home. I don't fault him for being angry.
“But enough about that,” Erica says, her tone lightening. “What happened today?”
We’d gotten so side tracked, I forgot to tell her the news.
“So, Maddox got into another fight at school today.”
“Oh no! Is he all right?”
“Yeah, he’s fine. I have to meet with the principal in the morning.”
“Poor Kid.”
“Anyway,” I say, not wanting to get into my son’s predicament. “The school called Quentin to pick him up because they couldn’t reach me. It was his day to get Maddox anyway. Well apparently, Princess Delicate had an appointment today and he had to bring Maddox to me.”
“Seriously,” Erica shouts. “I swear he acts like that girl is giving birth to the second coming of Jesus. And I’m sick of him brushing off my nephew.”