by Blue Saffire
I take pause from my train of thought, glancing over at Maddox over at the pinball machine. Another young boy has joined him. Damn, I have a family.
“How’s it been going?” Trisha cuts into my thoughts and brings my attention back to her.
“Fine, what do you want?”
She looks thrown by my refusal to play this game with her. “Look, I wanted to apologize about the other night. I didn’t mean to embarrass you in front of our friends.”
I snort. Those fuckers weren’t my friends.
“I’ve been going to therapy,” she says it like it’s some type of wonderful announcement. “My therapist and my parents think I may have acted irrationally. I should’ve been more understanding of what you were going through.”
She places her hand on top of mine on the table and looks at me. “I know it will take a minute for us to get back to where we were, but I think we should try. We could start by dating again and getting to—”
The laugh I’ve been holding in bubbles up and comes out. She looks disgusted. “What is so funny?”
“You,” I say getting the last bit of my laughter out. “Let me guess, mommy and daddy aren’t going to take care of their grown daughter that cut out on her marriage. New guy must have realized you have nothing else going on other than that bland thing between your legs?”
The wide-eyed look on her face lets me know I hit the nail on the head.
I shake my head at her. “Your therapist is right. You did act irrationally. However, I don’t hold what you did against you. My therapist taught me that,” I say with a proud smile.
“When my career was over, I lost everything. I struggled with not being the man that I once was. I struggled with giving up on the one dream I’ve had all my life. I was unstable, angry, depressed and bitter.”
I think back on the man I was before walking into Sienna’s office those eight months ago. I smile as I continue. “I’ll even admit. Suicide had crossed my mind a few times. But it wasn’t your job to get me out of my dark place.
“It wasn’t your job to stick with me if I wasn’t making you happy. In all honesty, we outgrew each other a long time ago. We only clung on to each other because it was familiar and easy.”
Trisha sniffles and I hand her a napkin from the center of the table. I can’t believe I’m about to say this and if this doesn’t attest to the amazing woman that Sienna is, nothing will.
“What you did was fucked up. I was battling through some shit, but you still could’ve come to me and told me you weren’t being satisfied sexually.”
“I was,” she argues.
“I know. I mean, I was lacking in the emotional support department of our relationship, but I was putting your ass to sleep every night. However,” I say tossing my hands up briefly. “What you did was needed to wake us both up.”
She wipes at a stray tear. “I still love you.”
I want to call her a bullshitting liar. How do you love someone and still do the shit that she did, but I don’t care that she’s lying to herself.
“We were together for almost thirteen years. Of course, we’re still going to have feelings for each other.” My second lie for today. “Which is why I wish you nothing but happiness. You’ll find someone to love you the way I love Sienna.”
Just like that, the tears dry up and the real Trisha comes out.
“Are you seriously in love with her?” she looks disgusted as if the notion of it makes her sick.
“Madly,” I say with pride and no hesitation. “She is the best thing that has ever happened to me. She saved me.”
“Saved you?” she mocks. “She couldn’t even save herself from eating a donut.”
Her small dig doesn’t faze me. “You will never understand how much more beautiful she is than you. It’s almost laughable.”
“Please, anyone will look at her and then me and wonder what the hell you’re thinking. She will never compare to me.”
“Trust me, I know. It’s like apples and oranges. Your beauty stops the moment you open your mouth, where hers only gets enhanced the more you get to know her.”
“Let’s see how long her type of beauty lasts when you take her out in public and people laugh at you. Good luck with Fat Ellie.”
“Do. Not. Call. Her. That.” My words aren’t shouted, but the threat is clear in my tone. I know Sienna is over her tortured high school days, but I’m not. I remember some of the shit Trisha and her friends used to do to her. They would laugh and brag about it. “Her name is Sienna. Or Ms. Washington.”
I toss down enough money to cover my and Maddox’s meal and leave a hefty tip, standing to my feet. This meeting has come to an end. There’s nothing else I need to say. This door has officially been closed. That shit is nailed shut.
I start toward Maddox, feeling happier than I have ever been. Until Trisha’s words stops me cold. “Sienna Washington,” she says out loud standing to her feet. “As in your therapist?”
Fuck.
Chapter 15
She Knows
Sienna
Once again, I look over at my desk distracted by that piece of paper on it. Ever since Dean and Maddox went out to lunch two days ago, he’s been acting different. He still holds me tight and makes love to me every night as if it will be his last, but he’s been distant. Always busy or on his phone.
I guess we have both been a bit distracted lately. I’ve still been paranoid about Trisha figuring out that I was Dean’s therapist. Every time I see Russell or the Compliance Officer, I think they’re coming to fire me.
Just to be on the safe side, I’ve already started looking at other avenues. I could be overthinking, but I’d rather be prepared. It’s time to put my big girl panties on and face the music. I told Dean how I’m feeling, but he still thinks I have nothing to worry about.
However, things have changed since that lunch. And this is the worst time for changes. Again I glance back at that paper on my desk.
“Very good, Jim,” I say to the man that has been pouring his heart out to me for an hour as I’ve only been half listening. “That’s our time for today,” I stand to my feet, causing him to lift with me. “Check with the receptionist at the front to schedule your next appointment.”
I walk over to the door to hold it open to usher him out. The moment the door opens I spot my director, Russell, and Chris.
Since the incident in the staff lounge, Chris has been on a leave of absence from work, due to an investigation. After viewing the tapes from the lounge and my statement, he’s only here today to clean out his office. Serves his ass right.
“There she is.” A female voice has my attention turning to the left where I find Trisha standing. I know immediately that this is about to end badly.
She rushes over to where I’m standing.
“You manipulative bitch,” she yells as Russell and Chris follow her. “You used his condition and your position to lure him to you. She’s been stalking him since high school,” she says the last part to Russell.
“Sienna, what’s this about?” Russell looks confused while Chris seems to be enjoying it.
Up until now, I’ve been a good employee. I’m great at my job and I actually give a shit about my patients.
“It’s—”
“She has been having an affair with one of her patients,” Trisha sneers toward me. “I have video of the two of them dancing together at a bar a few weeks ago. Plus, I had a meeting with my husband two days ago where he admitted to them sleeping together.”
“Ex-husband.” I should keep my mouth shut. It’s best to not say anything in situations like this. I know this, yet I can’t keep the words from tumbling out of my mouth. “He’s no longer your husband. Let’s get that straight. You messed that up when you started spreading your legs to the first man that gave you a compliment. You always were and always will be nothing but a leech to Dean. You never deserved him in high school and you damn sure don’t deserve him now.”
“And you do?” She laughs. “He and I have
thirteen years together. He even admitted to still having feelings for me. Once he gets over this depression, he’ll realize you’re the same sad and disgusting fat blob that you were in school.”
Her words sting. Not the name-calling. I’m over letting this shallow bitch hurt my feelings. The part she said about Dean admitting to still having feelings for her is like a knife slicing through my heart. But I’m not going to let her know this.
“Poor Trisha, I bet it eats you up to know that the fat girl took your man.”
She gasps. “You bitch.” She raises her hand and swings at me. I grab it before it connects with my face.
I glare at her, letting her know that I’m not the same girl from high school. I don’t care if I’m at work or not. She touches me, I will whoop her ass in this office. When I release her hand, she looks afraid.
Damn right.
“Chris, can you escort Ms. Lovewood to the Compliance Officer’s office so that she can make a formal complaint.”
“Gladly,” Chris says with a smug smile on his face. “I guess I won’t be the only one cleaning out my office.”
“I want her to lose her job,” Trisha says to Chris.
“Oh, trust me, she will.”
They walk off together. The hallway is quiet and for the first time I realize we’ve drawn a small crowd. I turn to Russell and disappointment lines his features.
“I think it’s best you go home for the rest of the day.” He turns and walks away.
Chapter 16
Never Giving Up
Dean
My frustration builds at the situation I find myself in.
“And you said it goes from zero to sixty miles per hour in how long?”
I shut my eyes for a second to regain my composure. “Three seconds.”
Yes, I’m selling my car. After all the bullshit with the divorce and that one small loophole, I was able to keep my prize possession. However, the only way I can keep Trisha from going to Sienna’s job and ratting us out is to sell my car and give her the money. It chafes like fuck to do it, but when I said I would do anything for my family, I meant that shit.
I didn’t tell Sienna about Trisha discovering our secret. I didn’t want her to worry and I definitely didn’t want her to get scared and call it off. Not like I would let her go anyway. I’m going to handle the situation and continue on with our relationship. When our wait is up, we’ll never have to worry about shit like this again.
“I’ll take it,” the middle-aged man says with a big ass smile on his face.
I can’t believe I’m selling my car for less than the valued price, but I need to make a quick sale. Once again, I remind myself, I’m doing it for Sienna.
“All right, give me a second I’ll grab the paperwork.”
Sienna’s SUV pulls into my apartment complex. I look down at my watch wondering what she’s doing here at this time. She should be at work. I reach her as she climbs out of the car. The tears on her face have me on high alert. My eyes scan over her body looking for any signs of injury.
“Baby, what’s wrong? What happened? Is it Maddox?” I realize I’m not giving her time to answer any of my questions before I hit her with the next one.
She clutches the front of my shirt in her hands. “She came to my office. She told them everything.”
It takes a second for her words to register. Trisha played me. She made me think she would keep her mouth shut, so I didn’t have to tell Sienna. Yet she still went and caught her off guard. I start to see red.
“Go in the house. I’ll be back.” I turn away from Sienna.
“Where are you going?” She grabs my arm.
“Go in the house, Sie.”
“No, I’m coming with you.” I don’t argue with her. I don’t have the right mindset to argue with her. Instead, I climb into the driver’s side of my Lamborghini as she gets in the passenger’s side.
My anger has a hold on me as I speed out of my parking lot not even glancing back at the man I left waiting for the car I just took off in. I know Trisha is back at home with her parents. She has nowhere else to go if she isn’t with the new guy.
I pull up to her family’s home. I don’t even turn the car off as I jump out and march toward the front door with Sienna right behind me. Trisha’s father comes out onto the porch.
He and I never could get along. He thinks his only daughter is the greatest fucking thing to walk this earth. I know she’s not.
“What are you doing here?” I ignore him as I narrow my eyes on Trisha stepping out of the door.
“What the hell is she doing at my house?” Trisha shouts toward Sienna.
“You lying bitch.”
Mr. Lovewood gasps. “You watch your mouth, young man.”
I ignore him again. “The money wasn’t good enough, huh? Two hundred thousand dollars, and you still weren’t satisfied.”
“What’s he talking about, Trisha?” Trisha’s mom comes out of the house and asks.
I had already given Trisha the leftover money from the house sale, just so she would assure me she wouldn’t rat us out. The car was just the added bonus for her to keep her mouth shut.
“She doesn’t get to have you,” Trisha yells. “Baby, I’m doing you a favor. You’re going to wake up and realize the mistake you made. You’re depressed and not seeing clearly.”
I scoff. I know I’ve said this before, but never have I ever wanted to beat a female’s ass as much as I want to right now.
“No, you need to wake up,” I shout. “You and I are forever done. You going to her job will not change how we feel about each other. I love her.” I let the words linger in the air. Giving them time to penetrate. “I love her more than I have ever loved anything in this world. Nothing will change how I feel about her.” I reach back and grab Sienna’s hand and pull her into my side.
“It doesn’t matter how you feel.” Trisha steps down from her front porch but stops, even she realizes it’s not safe to be near me at the moment. “She broke the law. She was your therapist. She abused her authority. She needs to lose her job and go to jail.”
“She has a fucking son, Trisha. Your jealousy just interfered with her taking care of her kid.” That’s a lie. Sienna never has to worry about taking care of Maddox. I’m here for that.
I lost most of my fortune when the Redfins dropped me and my accountant fucked me over, but I was wise enough to invest some of my money at the start of my career. I’m not the millionaire athlete that I was, but I’m not hurting for money. That’s why I didn’t want the courts digging too deeply into my finances during the divorce and why I quickly offered up the house and boat.
“Let me get this right,” Mr. Lovewood says, stepping toward us. “This woman was your therapist and you two fell in love after you and Trisha were separated?”
“Yes. I knew Sienna in high school, but I didn’t meet her until after the court mandated the anger management counseling.”
Mr. Lovewood nods. “So my daughter found this out and you paid her not to tell.”
“Yeah,” I say cutting my eyes to Trisha.
Her father sighs and shakes his head. “I’m sorry, Dean. Often times I blamed you for things that I realize now I was misinterpreting. Trisha will give you back the money you gave her.”
“What?” Trisha shouts. “Dad!”
Mr. Lovewood looks over at her and glares. “Is there anything she can do to help you keep your job, young lady?” he asks Sienna.
“Unfortunately, no. Even if she recants her statement, the allegations alone are damaging. They still have to investigate and I’ll most likely still lose my license.”
I turn to Sienna startled. “Wait, you never said you would lose your license. You just told me you would lose your job.”
“It’s the same thing. If I lose my job, the board will take my license and I won’t be able to work in my field again.”
That’s when it hits me. Everything she truly put at stake to be with me. And now I feel even less worthy of her.
“I’m sorry.” Mr. Lovewood states. “Trisha, go in the house and cut Dean a check for the money he gave you.”
“No,” she says defiantly. “I don’t even understand why you’re siding with him and that fat bitch. In fact, I’m going to call my lawyer. I bet this is enough to get a judge to consider overturning our divorce.”
My stomach sours just at the thought of it.
“Enough, Trisha!” This time it’s her mother who shuts her up. “You have embarrassed this family enough. You decided to end your marriage, not Dean. You’re not going to call anyone.
“You’re going to go get that money, leave the two of them alone, and then do as your father and I have been telling you for the last few weeks. Grow up and get out of our house.”
I watch as a thoroughly chastised Trisha tears up before me. I find no sympathy for her. Although it is partially my fault she never matured or takes responsibility for her actions, her parents were also a big part of it too. I guess we are all done with her bullshit.
Trisha gives it one last attempt. “A judge will overturn the ruling.”
“Only if you file an appeal after the first thirty days. Your time has passed. Now, do as your mother says,” her father says curtly.
Finally relenting, she stomps back into the house.
***
The ride back to my apartment is silent. I have no idea where Sienna’s mind is, but mine is stuck on the fact that she is about to lose not only her job, but her license. The one thing she needs in order to do what she loves.
I stop beside her SUV and turn off the engine to my car. Silence fills the small space.
“What are you thinking about?” her voice brings a smile to my face. It takes me back to the hours spent in her office.
I turn to her and wrap my hand around hers that’s twisting in her lap.
“I’m thinking about how much I don’t deserve you. How I should be a man and let you go. Maybe then you will be able to keep your job.” I place the back of her hand to my lips and kiss it. “However, even the mere thought of letting you go is freaking me out. I don’t know what to do to make this situation better.”