"I might have to..." She closed her eyes, hating to say it. "I might have to ask my parents for a loan."
Jonathan knew that would grind Aryl more than being out of work.
"Why don't you give us a chance to help you through this first. Save that option for when there is no other."
"I have an idea," Ava said. "What about Ruth?"
"I don't want to borrow money from Ruth."
"Not to borrow anything from her, to ask her to drum up some business. Didn't you say she had some friends who might want to hire you to paint for them? If she could arrange one or two jobs quickly, it'd be worth the trip plus some."
"That's a really good idea," she said. "I can write her a letter tomorrow."
"Send a telegram," Ava said. "There's not a moment to spare."
"But who will take care of Aryl while I’m gone?"
"All of us," Jonathan said.
Before Claire could ask him who of all of them were willing to help Aryl bathe, there was a knock at the door.
Maura came in with that determined concerned look.
"I just heard. How is he, dear?" Her arms were full, Ian behind her carrying something as well.
"He's upstairs trying to get some rest."
"I broke me arm once. It's awful hard to get any sleep the first week," Ian said.
"The doctor gave him something to help him sleep," Claire said. Instead of looking relieved, Maura could see the worry in her eyes.
"Do ye have it or does he?" Maura asked quietly.
"I do," she said with a firm nod. "It's hidden."
"Good. I'll just take this to the kitchen," she said, moving past her.
"Hello, Mr. Jonathan, Miss Ava," she said as she deposited two casseroles in the icebox and four loaves of bread into the cupboard along with a plate of cookies.
"Hello, Maura. That was good of you," he said, nodding toward the food.
"There'll be more of that in the coming days. Last thing Miss Claire needs to fret over is cooking." She turned to the table where Ava and Jonathan sat. Claire leaned against the wall near the door.
Ava smiled. This was Maura's natural element. When crisis arose, she swooped in with food and hands waiting to help. Maura was already glancing around and Ava could have sworn she was looking for something to clean.
"I know what yer worried about," she said as her eyes wandered. "What we're all worried about. Fer Mr. Aryl to get a taste of it again could send him spiraling away from a life he worked so hard to get back."
Ava clasped her hands and Jonathan cast his eyes down. He wanted to say they had more faith in Aryl than to worry, but he knew firsthand how much bigger this was than Aryl, bigger than all of them.
"The doctor gave smaller doses. He's hoping that will help," Jonathan said.
Maura nodded. "It may. Or it may not. Either way, he needs to be reminded. If I might, Miss Claire, I'd like to go up and talk to him."
"Yes, of course. I'd appreciate it."
***
Aryl was sitting up in bed, his right hand holding the casted left arm. A cotton sling cradled the arm, draped over his bare chest, tied in a knot behind his neck. He stared at the wall just past the foot of the bed. He looked angry. He thought back to the tenement, like he did so often these days. He remembered how Jonathan looked after he was attacked on the street. Sitting up in bed, bruised and bloodied and looking as if he hated the world. No amount of reassurance or kind words would improve his mood. Much Like Aryl now.
Maura knocked and let herself in.
"Mr. Aryl. I came as soon as I heard."
It took him a moment to look at her. His thoughts had been deep and troubling.
She pulled a chair from the corner and sat down next to the bed.
"I know yer worried being unable to work. But ye have to know that yer friends are going to see ye through this. It will be tight, uncomfortable even. But survivable. Yer family will pull through this."
He gave a small nod.
"And you'll pull through the other thing as well."
The other thing. He looked at her and knew what she meant.
"You've had a taste and I know that has to be hard. I know yer body wasted no time in remembering."
"I tried to do it without," he said softly.
"I know ye did. Yer no less a man fer needin' it. But understand that was a true need. What ye might face in the coming days, that's not true need. It will be hard, but ye have to know the difference and be honest with yerself about it. There might be times when ye tell yerself ye need it for the pain, when ye don't."
His eyes floated away, back to the wall. He couldn't bring himself to tell her that the needing had already begun. He should have suffered, screamed and cried through the bone setting. At least it would have been temporary and he'd have probably passed out from the pain anyway. Even if he hadn't, he wouldn't be sitting here now, thinking, remembering, craving.
It amazed him how one dose, one small medicinal dose could bring the monster back, raging and clawing within him for more. At the present moment, he had the upper hand. And that's all he could do was take it moment by moment.
Unfortunately, that moment slipped away without warning.
"We'll all be by to visit ye often," she said.
To check on you. To watch you. That's what Aryl heard and he felt irritated.
"I've brought bread and casseroles and I'll be by in a few days with more. Mr. Gordon is bringing some dairy by tomorrow."
We're feeding your family because you can't. It was hard for him to say thank you.
"Have Claire send word if ye need me, day or night." Her eyes, voice and hands were kind.
In case you need me to keep you in line. You're likely too weak to do it yourself.
He gave a hard nod and hoped she'd leave quickly. His thoughts were growing dark and he wanted to be left alone.
When she closed the door he glared at it. He felt like a useless invalid. A stupid, useless invalid. He'd worked on icy docks for years, both recently and in his younger days. He'd always been careful, stepped slowly, avoided rushing. Why had he been so stupid and careless today?
His arm hurt and his pride stung. He pushed back the blankets covering his legs and with much slow careful effort, got out of bed. He glanced at the door and didn't hear any footsteps outside or on the stairs. Then with a deep frown he began rummaging through the chest of drawers to see where Claire had hidden the medicine.
***
The next night all the women gathered at Claire's house. Being stuck at home as she was, seeing to Aryl's recovery, they decided to make something of a girl's night of it, reading the Hettie Helps submissions and choosing three for next week's column.
They passed the notes and letters around the table, sipping coffee and tea as they read. The house was quiet, the clock on the wall ticked the minutes away. Ava had brought Amy and her soothing effect on Jac had them both playing quietly in the living room.
Claire's head jerked upright, her eyes frantic. The natural habit of a mother who knew that silence with a child like Jac always meant trouble. She quickly remembered Amy was here, breathed a sigh of relief and went back to reading.
"What about this one?" Arianna asked. "Hettie, please help. My husband seems no longer interested in me. Most of the time he is short tempered and unpleasant to be around no matter how devoted I try to be. Almost every moment of his day is accounted for, so I don't suspect an affair."
Maura pursed her lips and then shook her head. "I'm afraid we don't have enough information to help that one. It could be any number of things."
"Well, she's probably not keeping up on herself," Arianna said, lifting one shoulder. "I could help..." All the women stared at her. "Or, it could be a rushed or arranged marriage, he could be drinking, gambling or taking drugs." Arianna's eyes flashed up to Claire with an apology in her eyes. Claire seemed to shrug it off. "Let's move on," Arianna said.
"Oh, I like this one. And I've recently had some experience with it," Claire s
aid. "Hettie, my son, who is four, has recently become a terror. He was always such a good child, but now I can't take him in public without fits of tantrum. He's begun acting out at home as well. My husband suggests we discipline him, but I can't bear the thought of spanking my son! Which one of us is right?"
"That's a simple case of spare the rod. Let's use that," Maura said.
Arianna was sitting crooked in the chair, legs crossed, swinging one leg deeply.
"Dear Hettie." Ava started reading aloud. "I have a problem. I have fallen in love with someone that is impossible for me to be with. Society would have fits and seizures because, you see, he's colored and I am not. I am a widow and have been lonely. I fell in love slowly as he would read to me in the evenings-"
"What?" Arainna asked, her leg halting abruptly.
Ava reread the last sentence and then her eyes went wide. "Oh."
"Let me see that," Arianna said, snatching it out of her hands. As soon as she saw the letter she recognized the handwriting.
"Oh dear Lord. This is from Ethel." She looked up at Ava. "She thinks she's fallen in love with David."
Ava and Claire couldn't help themselves and struggled not to laugh. Arianna covered her face with her hand. "I can't believe this."
"What are ye going to do?" Maura asked, grinning wildly.
Arianna read the rest of the letter silently. Her slightly amused attitude quickly soured.
"I dream of running away together because I can't live with my tyrant of a daughter in-law much longer! Tyrant? Honestly?"
Ava let a hard laugh fly.
"Oh, I ought to slap that woman!" Arianna seethed.
"I have no idea why she thinks you a tyrant," Claire teased.
"You all know how hard I have to scrape for patience with that woman and it only gets worse with every passing day." She frowned and sulked, then her face lit up. "I know. I'll throw her in the asylum. That way she can see David every day and she won't be my problem any longer."
"That's harsh, Miss Arianna," Maura scolded, her lips twitching against a grin.
"Caleb would never let me. But if Ethel can dream about running away from me, I can dream about throwing her in the asylum. Head first."
"Claire!" Aryl's voice called from upstairs. It sounded urgent. She rose and took the stairs quickly.
"Were we being too loud?" Ava asked.
"No, he's likely just needing something to eat," Maura said.
Maura offered to refill tea. Moments later the voices above grew louder.
"Are they fighting?" Arianna asked.
Ava strained to listen. "Well, they don't sound happy."
"He's wanting more," Maura said quietly.
***
Caleb knocked on the door, shifting the box he was carrying. Maura opened it and immediately he saw that she wasn't her chipper self. When he stepped in and heard the garbled voices battling upstairs, he knew why.
"Where are the babies?" Arianna asked.
"In the truck. I just wanted to drop this off."
Aryl yelled, "I don't care!" and all eyes went to the ceiling.
"Why don't you bring the kids inside and I'll go upstairs," Caleb told Arianna. He didn't wait to head up.
He knocked and walked in. Aryl was sitting on the side of the bed, Claire standing with her back against the wall, arms folded, tears in her eyes.
"Everything alright?" Caleb asked, closing the door behind him.
"Yes," Aryl said, head hanging.
"No, it's not," Claire said, glaring at him. "It has him again. He wants it. Only I can't do this again, Aryl. Do you hear me? I can't do this again!" She left in a hurry.
Caleb stayed by the door for a few moments. Aryl hadn't raised his head.
"It's not how she makes it out to be. This hurts like hell. I just asked for a dose that the doctor gave me and she lost her mind. She's assuming things."
Caleb sat down in the chair next to the bed and leaned his elbows on his knees, eyes pinned on Aryl.
"Look me in the eyes and tell me she's overreacting," he said. Aryl looked up, but said nothing.
"We're all worried about you. Scared that this is enough to make you go back to it."
"I'm not going back to it," Aryl said, annoyed, as if it was the most ridiculous thing he'd ever heard.
Caleb leaned in closer. "Let me make something very clear to you. You are not going to make Claire out to be the enemy. You're not going to do that to her again. She's controlling the medicine to help you keep control of your life."
"The last thing I am is in control of my life," Aryl said with disgust. "I have no way to pay my bills, no way to feed my family and no idea when I'll be back to work."
"That's what your friends are for."
Aryl scoffed. Deep down he appreciated it. Only he had a hell of a time verbalizing that right now.
"I will camp out on this bedroom floor to help her if I have to," Caleb said.
"God, no. You have terrible wind at night."
They both cracked a smile.
"You're already battling it. I can see that. But you aren't in as deep as last time and you can stay ahead of this. Every hour, every day you put distance between you and opiates, it will get easier. When you feel weak, remember that we all are poised and waiting to swoop in and do whatever we have to do." Caleb stood up. "Stay in control, Aryl. It's awful damn cold to be camping in the woods again. But don't think we won't drag you back."
He left with the threat hanging in the air. Aryl knew he was serious. And God knew it wasn't that he wanted to go back to needing opiates to function. His body did, but his heart and his mind...no. He wanted nothing to do with it. He lay down carefully and covered his eyes with his good arm. He was in too much pain to sleep so he tried to think of songs to sing silently, anything else to concentrate on other than the voice that whispered from the shadows of his mind.
***
Downstairs Caleb assured Claire that Aryl was alright for the time being. When he turned, Jonathan was standing by the door. He looked right at Caleb, but said nothing.
"He's having a hard time," Caleb said. "I think one of us should stay with him for a few days."
Jonathan looked away as if he hadn't heard a thing. Caleb sighed and dropped his arm, turning to Ian.
Maura's hawkish eyes took all this in. Her head tilted, her lips pursed, she pulled on Caleb's sleeve.
"Can I talk to ye outside a moment?"
He followed her out, folding his arms with a shiver.
"What's goin' on between the two of ye?" she asked.
"Jon is angry because I left the boats."
"I heard Peter took yer place. He's working wi' Ian now."
"He is. It's split even. He keeps talking about expanding, hiring more people and buying more boats. He's been unable to do that."
"And he's taking it out on ye?"
"I don't know what he's doing, Maura. All I know is that I need to be at home. For my farm, for my family and for myself. I hate it out there. I always have. Jon says we'll starve to death trying to live off my land and maybe we will. But I have to at least try."
"I see," Maura said solemnly. "Ye should be free to do what ye think is best. I understand Mr. Jonathan's frustrations because of the kind of man he is. He's been in charge of this venture for a while now. In his logical mind, it's time to grow, expand, break free from struggling."
Caleb shrugged. "Maybe."
"There's no maybe about it. I know the man. That's how he thinks. It's not right or wrong, it's just the way his brain works, ye see."
"I've tried to be understanding, Maura. After all, I came back once before. But now Emily's gone and she was so important in keeping things running smoothly. Everyone thinks Arianna is weak, but she's not. My mother is getting worse. It takes both of us to handle her and..." He averted his eyes and in them Maura saw shame.
"Tell me," she said, putting a hand on his arm.
"We've had to lock her in her room a few times. She was out of her mind, terrif
ying the children, we couldn't get anything done."
"Perhaps it's time to consider a new place fer yer mother to live," she said gently.
Caleb stiffened. "No. I'm not throwing her in that asylum or a hospital or anywhere else. That's her home. She belongs there." Not only did it go against every moral fiber in his being, it was in his father's will that she was to remain in the house for the rest of her natural life. Besides, he had no idea how he'd afford to pay for her care.
"I can try to come by and help."
"You have enough to do, Maura."
She pushed her hand off his arm with frustration. "We are all pulling together to see Mr. Aryl through this injury and there's no reason why we can't all pull together to help ye through the situation with yer mother. What are we all hovering around each other fer if not to help?"
"Help for how long? Until she dies?" Caleb asked, brows raised.
Maura backed down to reconsider. It was a big commitment that could go on for years. While she would happily sign on to do what she could, it might be too much to ask of everyone else.
"We'll do what we can," she said firmly. "If ye can manage until we see Mr. Aryl safely to the other side of this, which I don't expect will be long, we'll turn to yer house next."
"We've be managing for a while, we'll be fine. Thanks, Maura."
She wasn't sure if that was an agreement to wait until the skies cleared over this roof or a polite refusal after all. Either way, she'd deal with it later.
"What's yer opinion about Mr. Aryl?" she asked.
"Well, like I said when I came downstairs, I think one of us should stay here with Claire for a few days. He so easily slipped back into being angry at her for not giving him any. I don't want that to get out of control. Every day that passes that we can keep it from him will get easier and he can avoid getting hooked on it again."
Purling Road - The Complete First Season: Episodes 1-10 Page 23