Harry doesn’t let me fall. He takes me into his arms, holding me tight. I clutch onto him for dear life, sobbing into his shoulder as he strokes my hair. “Shush, baby,” he whispers. “It’s okay. It’ll all be okay.”
“He…they…”
“I know,” he says soothingly as he strokes. “It’s not your fault. I swear it’s not your fault.”
“I’m sorry,” I say to anyone or anything that might be listening. “I’m so sorry.”
He kisses my hair. “Baby.”
He is so warm. Familiar. Old Spice. I love that smell. It’s comforting. He’s comforting. Always has been. I lift my head, my lips meeting his in an almost chaste kiss. That spark ignites a firestorm. The tears subside as we literally rip each other’s clothes off. He pins me to the bed, kissing me into depths I didn’t know I had. I’m not ready for him but he doesn’t give a damn. He pushes inside me so hard he reaches the end of me, punishing me for my sins against him. I cry out in pain but meet him with each thrust. All that pain, all that anger morphs into all consuming passion. For a few mind-blowing minutes everything but the need vanishes. Agony and ecstasy in perfect balance. It feels so good. So right. Even if I’ve lost him, at least I have this.
We lay on my bed unable to move for a minute afterward. Tiny pinpricks of blood rise on his back from where I mauled him. I’m not unscathed either. I’m already sore inside, stretched and torn, but find the pain welcoming. “Did I hurt you?” he asks breathlessly.
“Nothing I can’t handle.” I gulp. “Did I hurt you?”
He looks into my eyes, concern falling into sadness. “Yes,” he says after a pause.
We let that word hang between us like a millstone. He might as well have plunged an icicle into my heart. I didn’t think it possible, but I hate myself even more. I’ve lost him. He sits up then slides off the bed, collecting his clothes from the floor. More tears threaten stream out, but I push them back. If I start again, I’ll never stop. Never.
***
The mansion is quiet when I return. Harry doesn’t walk me to the door and mutters, “Call me if you need anything,” as I get out. We couldn’t even look at each other since the bedroom. First time things have been awkward between us. I hate it more than anything, and that’s saying something. Geoff the guard carries my suitcase inside, but Bryan joins the third guard in walking the grounds. Harry drives away, off to try and save the woman who broke his heart.
Dobbs greets us, looking as exhausted as me. Despite this he smiles as he says, “Welcome home, Miss Joanna.”
“Hi, Dobbs.”
He takes the suitcase from Geoff. “I’ll take this upstairs to the blue bedroom.”
“Thanks. Is Justin up?”
“No, and Miss Lucy has retired as well. She was not feeling well.”
“Why don’t you go to bed too? I have a feeling we’ll be very busy tomorrow.”
“Thank you. I will.” Dobbs glances at Geoff. “We’ve left out food for you and your men.”
“Thank you,” Geoff says in his baritone voice.
Dobbs nods, then starts up the stairs, leaving me with my jailer. I’m in a fancy prison, but a prison none the less. “Look, I’m completely safe now,” I say to Geoff. “This place is a fortress. I’m going to the living room, and I’m going alone, okay? Don’t follow me.” I’m shocked when he actually listens. Like the rest of the house, it’s as quiet as a crypt in the living room. My first impulse is to race over to the bar and down a whiskey bottle. I actually have to stop myself walking midstride toward it. God, I want a drink. It takes all my strength not to make those last few steps.
Instead, I plop down on the couch with a sigh. I turn on the TV, finding the news. The story’s gone national. Top story on BNN and every other news outlet. Some woman interviews Bitsy, who tearfully recounts last night’s party and Justin’s tragic love story. There are a few more testimonials from Rebecca’s co-workers and friends from Independence. As people talk pictures from last night and today are intersliced, including the rolling out of the bodies. Tasteful.
I flip to MSCBC where the mayor, commissioner, and Marshal Napier stand in front of the city hall answering questions. Napier does most of the talking, saying the same crap the other two promised a week ago. Terrible tragedy. Doing all we can. We’ll catch him. Being on the other side of things, the victim’s side, is odd. Listening to them talk with self-serving platitudes and empty promises makes me want to spit in their faces. They don’t really give a damn. They just don’t want to look bad in front of their constituents. I change the channel.
We even made Jury-TV. They’re replaying Ryder’s trial. One of his henchmen, now in the witness protection program, recounts the plot to hijack a boat with a deadly virus on it. Ryder sits next to his thousand-dollar-an-hour attorney staring impassively at the man on the stand. A flash of the moment he passed me last night pops into my head. Both of them. My opportunities to get him, and I blew them. Doubt I’ll get another unless he crawls out of his hole to take a shot at me or someone I love. I need to—
Through the glass doors I see a man appear out on the patio. My heart stops as I leap up and grab for where my sidearm usually is. The terror subsides a moment later when my brain connects to my instincts. Justice stands on the porch looking directly at me. “Superb.”
As I open the patio door, Bryan and a third guard come running from both sides of the house, guns up and pointed at the superhero. “Freeze!” the other guard shouts. Geoff barrels into the living room with his gun out too. I suddenly feel underdressed for this meeting.
“I’d put those down, guys,” I say as I step out. “I’m pretty sure he can take you.”
The men lower their weapons. “Sorry, sir,” Bryan says. “We didn’t know it was you.”
“It’s fine, gentlemen,” Justice says, lowering his hands. “Good response time, but I’d post someone back here at the staircase down to the beach. If I made it undetected, so could Alkaline.”
“Yes, sir,” Geoff says.
All the men holster their guns and return to their posts, leaving us alone. “I’m sorry for startling you,” Justice says.
“It’s okay. I’m a bit jumpy tonight.”
He nods. “That’s to be expected after your ordeal. I just came by to check on you and Mr. Pendergast and to offer my condolences.”
“Thanks. He’s, uh, asleep right now, but I’ll tell him you stopped by,” I say as I step toward the house.
“I was also hoping to ask you a few questions,” he says, stopping me. I turn back around. “If you don’t mind.”
“I’m sure you’ve read my statement.” He has some supercomputer that’s linked to every law enforcement database and all the CCTVs in the city. “It’s all in there.”
“I just have a few follow-up questions.”
I shrug. “I’m a captive audience. Not supposed to leave unless I’m in a tank with the National Guard around me. Fire away.”
“I understand you’re frustrated, but the precautions are for your safety. You should not try to find a way around them.”
“If he wants me, he’s gonna get me. The more people around me, the more collateral damage. Maybe I should just let him get me. Be bait.”
“No,” he says forcefully. “We will find a way of capturing him without putting you in harm’s way. That will never be an option. If I hear you have attempted that foolhardy plan, I will kidnap you myself and really lock you away. Do you understand me, Det. Fallon? I will not stand for it.”
I have no idea what to say. He actually sounds concerned and scared. For me. My heart warms a little. Not that I’ll let him know that. “Fine, I won’t. Ask your questions.”
After we sit, I walk him through the party last night, through finding the bodies and all that we’ve uncovered today. He knew most of it, and even clued me in to some new facts. Like Ryder checked into the hotel the night of the escape under the name “Joe Fallon.” He had a credit card and driver’s license in that name. The bastard mig
ht as well have just spit in my face. It was booked a week before he checked in, and checked out at 5:37 this morning.
“Fat lot of good that does us,” I say.
“I already have my system working through the security footage for the past week. It can pinpoint him and see if he met with any accomplices.”
“If you need me to run down anyone, my schedule is cleared indefinitely.”
“I’m sorry this has caused your life such an upheaval.”
“Yeah, well it frees me up to be your Girl Friday. I mean, if you don’t already have one. Do you have one?”
“I work alone, and it will stay that way.” He stands up. “Thank you for all your help.”
I leap up. “Wait. You’re not leaving already, are you? I can help you. I need to help you, okay? I can’t just sit in this cold museum waiting, doing nothing. I’ll go nuts.”
“Your friend needs you far more than I do. What you need to do is stay here and help him through this. Be his strength. Leave the rest to me.”
“He’s angry at me and doesn’t want me to help.”
“He’ll get over it. No one can stay mad at you for too long.”
“You talk about me like you know me,” I say with a scoff.
“If I’m not mistaken, I’ve known you for ten years,” he says without sarcasm. “And he does need you, by his side. Just be there when he’s ready. He may push you away, scream at you, but never take it to heart and never give up on him. Not that I think you ever would.”
I stare at him, really wishing I could see his face. I can never get a read on him. “I don’t get you. For years I’ve been a total bitch to you. Now you’re complimenting me, even sending me presents. Why? You’re not…you know…” His head cocks to the side. Ugh. He’s going to make me say it. “I’m not going to sleep with you. Ever.”
“What? No,” he says, sounding offended. “I don’t think of you in that light, Det. Fallon. At all.” I do a double take at his vehemence. “I mean, you are aesthetically pleasing, I realize that, but—”
“Just forget I said anything,” I say, now mortified on top of everything else.
“Don’t be embarrassed,” he says, “it’s a perfectly natural thought. I have momentarily entertained the notion, but your attitude toward me quickly dispelled it. No, I just…admire you. You’re tenacious, brave, and brilliant. This city, but especially your friend in there, needs you. And you need him too. You lost a friend today as well.”
A sarcastic laugh escapes before I can stop it. “I guess.”
“What does that mean?”
I shake my head. “It means I was a two-faced bitch who only pretended to be her friend when in reality I wanted to push her off a cliff a lot of the time.”
“Really? Why?”
“Nothing she did. It wasn’t her fault. She was nice. Kind, funny, smart, just perfect. I would have liked her if I let myself. There was just one thing I could never get past about her.”
“What?”
I look up at the superhero and smile sadly. “That he loved her, not me.”
Justice’s shoulders slump. “Who? Your…friend, Mr. Pendergast?”
“Worst kept secret in Galilee. I’m surprised you never heard.”
“No, I didn’t.” He pauses, clearing his throat. “How long have you harbored these feelings?”
I scoff. “Forever.” I sit back down, suddenly tired. “From the moment he opened his mouth twenty years ago, my heart belonged to him.” I shrug. “But he didn’t want it. Probably never will.” I bite my lower lip. “Then she came. She was everything I wasn’t: sweet, charming, gorgeous. And he wanted her. So I hated her. Him a little, too. But they got their comeuppance, huh? Ha fucking ha,” I say sarcastically as my voice breaks. “Sure showed them.”
Justice sits across from me. “Wishing a person dead does not make it happen, Joanna. You know that.”
“I brought a monster with a grudge into their lives. I let him walk past me. Twice.” I run my hands through my hair. “I was so pissed at him I let my anger cloud my judgment. I bruised his ego. Dared him to come out. I knew what he was, what he was capable of, but I did it anyway to prove what a badass I am. You have the right idea, hiding behind that mask. You know, going after me I understand. I poked a rabid dog with a stick, he should bite me. But going after an officer’s friends and family is something you just don’t do. You don’t. He did.”
“There was no way you could have known,” he says after a long pause.
“They wouldn’t even be on his radar if it wasn’t for me. Everything, everyone I touch, I damage. My dad, my mom, Har—” I stop myself. I take a moment to collect myself. “Justin saved my life, you know. Now I’m the cause of the rape and murder of the love of his life and future daughter. He’ll wish he had let me jump. He’d be right to.”
“Never think that. Never,” Justice says vehemently. He leans across the table, reaching for my face. He lifts my chin up to where his hidden eyes are. “Listen to the words coming out of my mouth like you have never listened to anything before. This is not your fault. This is in no way, shape, or form your fault. He did not target them because you called her your friend, your sister. He didn’t target them because you didn’t like her for whatever reason.” He pauses before saying, “He didn’t do this because you’re a horrible person who deserves misery. He did this…” he says, voice quaking, “He did this…”
He can’t finish the sentence. He falls back into his seat, and looks away as if I can see underneath the mask. I’ll bet this is the closest he’s let another person glean what’s behind it in a long time. I guess sometimes we all forget that under the costume and powers there’s a human being in there. He pays his bills, he washes his clothes, and maybe he cries in the shower so no one can hear him just like me. We’re not so different, him and I.
“This isn’t your fault either,” I say. “You’re only one man. You can’t be everywhere. You can’t know everything. You caught him once. You’re the one who got him off the streets for three years when no one else could. We need you now. We need you strong. Fierce. We need our hero.”
As those words pop out, I realize I mean them. I’ve resented him for an event that wasn’t his fault for decades. He’s not God. He wasn’t there that night to punish me. He’s as fallible as the rest of us. A pang of regret hits me. All these years working together with my old idol and I’ve squandered it. I could have learned from him. We could have helped each other more. All for nothing.
For a moment he looks at me. Really looks at me. I’m uncomfortable, but don’t let it show. “And here I thought you hated me,” he says.
“I don’t hate you. You’ve pissed me off sometimes. Made me feel inept. Obsolete. And…you let me down once, but that wasn’t your fault.” I take a deep breath and say it because it’s true. “I just, I—I feel better knowing you’re on my side.”
“I feel the same way about you, Detective.” He pauses again. “I’m so sorry you were dragged into this. I’m sorry it’s affected you so. I will do everything in my power to keep you safe. To find him. I give you my word, and I never give it lightly. I will not let him harm you,” he says with utter conviction. “I swear it.”
Listening to those words with his severity, it hits me. There’s really a madman who wants me dead. He’s going to try to rape and burn me alive with acid. I’m a police officer, I know every day on the job I take my life into my hands. It could happen at any time. Leaving to interview a person, walking through a door even. I can rationalize it away. Most police barely draw their weapons in a career, let alone get involved in a shoot-out. But this…it’s inevitable. I know the man after me. He’ll battle his way through an entire legion of superheroes and police to get what he wants. Me. He can’t be stopped. He can’t be reasoned with. He is pure evil and he is coming for me. At some point in the near future, probably when I’m least prepared for it, I will be fighting for my life. The odds of coming out of it are against me. I’m living on borrowed time. I
’m going to die.
I glance at Justice. “He’s really coming for me, isn’t he?”
The terror must have leaked through to my face because Justice doesn’t respond right away. “Not if I get him first.” Clearing his throat, he stands up. “Stay in the house as much as you can. Be surrounded by people at all times. Don’t go anywhere without the guards, no matter how much you dislike having them around. Keep your eyes open for anything suspicious.”
“I will.”
“Good. I’ll be watching. Be safe.”
“But what if I need—” I feel the whoosh of air beside me before I can finish. He’s gone.
The curtains inside waft in the breeze, but I shut and lock the door. It does nothing to stop the chills. I rest my head against the cool fabric and glass underneath, clutching onto the thin drapes as I push away the panic and desolation.
“Jo?” Justin asks behind me.
I give myself a second, just a second to rein my emotions in. They whip back into their prison, and I turn around to my friend with a small smile. “Hi.”
He’s in a white undershirt and pajama bottoms, hair messy from sleep. “Are you okay? I heard voices.”
“It was no one,” I say, walking toward him. “What about you? Are you alright?”
He shakes his head slowly. “No. Not at all. I could use a hug.”
“I think I can handle that.”
He opens his arms to me and I do the same, pulling each other close. I lay my head on his pounding heart and he rests his on the top of my head. For the briefest moments, wrapped in his arms, I feel peace. I hope he does too. Because I’m sure we may never feel that way again.
Justice (The Galilee Falls Trilogy) Page 20