I’m telling you Claire’s story because you too will have setbacks. It won’t be easy, and that’s OK. You can keep referring to this book whenever you need it. If you’ve signed up to my mailing list on www.ilovepanicattacks.com, I’ll keep sending you interesting techniques and videos every now and then as well.
You’re not in this alone! You’ve got what you need now. Nobody can do it for you, but you won’t need to reinvent the wheel. The techniques are there. Now it’s up to you to test them until you master them. Remember, the power is already within you!
Conclusion
You’ve made it to the end of the main part of the book! The addendum that follows will go over some specific fears and symptoms.
Although this probably is only the beginning of your recovery, I want to congratulate you. So many people start reading self-help books and then stop after a couple of chapters when the going gets tough. You didn’t.
I sincerely hope you will try the techniques and exercises I’ve been explaining throughout the book. They have the power to tame your anxiety.
Good luck with your journey in life. It was an honor to have you read this book. You could have done a thousand other things with your time, and you wisely chose to invest it in reading this book. I’m grateful for that. Even though I don’t know you personally, I wrote this book with you in mind. That’s where I got my motivation to keep writing during the many years I’ve been working on this book. I picture you trying the techniques and increasing the quality of your life.
So thank you!
And if you ever need more help than this book could offer, you know where to find me: www.ilovepanicattacks.com. There you’ll find my free newsletter with a range of videos I’ve shot over the years and much more.
Good luck!
Warm regards,
Geert Verschaeve
Addendum: How to apply what you’ve learned on the most common sensations, symptoms, and situations that launch anxiety
Even though we’ve covered a variety of symptoms and situations throughout the book, let’s go over the most common ones here and see what’s going on and what you can do about it.
I want to re-emphasize that I am not a medical doctor. I will be speaking from personal experience, both from me overcoming my own panic attacks and anxiety, combined with all of the people I’ve been able to help, supplemented with scientific research here and there. If you suffer from any of the symptoms mentioned, even though you should never react with anxiety, you should have your health checked by a health care professional. Not to be reassured since that’s a very short-term fix, but to be able to deal with any physical issue should there be one.
As I’ve explained, the goal is never to say, “Oh, it’s probably nothing” and ignore it. The goal of what you’re learning is to wipe unwanted anxiety off the table, regardless of whether something is going on or not.
Here’s what I mean. I was in a fully packed auditorium in the center of London during a hot summer day last year. For some reason, there was no air conditioning, and the available oxygen was dropping swiftly. My body, sensitive as it is to a lack of oxygen, warned me by raising my heart rate and by giving me a slight shortness of breath. These were symptoms I was getting because of a real issue. I didn’t ignore it, because something was going on. But I chose to say, “Thanks, kind canary in the coal mine. I know there’s a lack of oxygen, but I’m staying. Breathe and palpitate as you wish, I accept you.” Symptoms were present; anxiety was not.
And within minutes, the feeling was gone. Because I didn’t care. My body gave me a warning, one I didn’t follow up upon, so it stopped warning me.
There is no way to completely avoid certain symptoms, and some circumstances may still give you a slightly heightened level of anxiety. That’s normal and the goal of this book is not to avoid that. As I’ve explained, anxiety is necessary. It’s just a warning. It would be impossible to not get warnings since your body still wants you to stay alive for as long as possible. The goal is to not be intolerant to those sensations, so we don’t raise unwanted and unnecessary anxiety.
Please browse through the following pages. Skip what doesn’t apply to you, and read what does. You’ll find some additional insights and help.
Without a doubt, the most common consequence of being prone to anxiety is:
Having crazy thoughts and believing them
You wouldn’t believe the types of thoughts my mind has come up with. Well, maybe you would, because I’m sure yours has generated some crazy thoughts as well.
Thoughts that would have made me break the law had I executed them. Thoughts that would have gotten me killed had I acted upon them. Thoughts that could have made me a millionaire or, on the contrary, bankrupt. I’ve had them all, just as you have.
Our thought machine never takes a break, not even when we’re sleeping. That’s when subconscious thoughts take over.
This thought machine is a powerful ally; yet, for people who suffer from anxiety, it becomes an enemy. Something they want to shut off and eliminate.
Look, we can’t ask our thought machine to just come up with positive and constructive concepts. It cannot. It will come up with just about anything, from the most ridiculous to the most intelligent ideas anyone you know has ever had. And it’s up to us to select what we need and discard what we don’t.
Some of the thoughts will make you believe you’re losing your mind; others will scare you because they will seemingly give you intentions you don’t want to have.
It doesn’t matter. They are just thoughts. Please let this sink in. They are just thoughts!
You don’t have to agree with those thoughts, but you’ll need to see them for what they are. Pieces of information.
You are not your thoughts. Having strange ideas doesn’t make you weird or a bad person. This is not your will; these are not instructions that you will blindly follow. You are still in control.
You may be thinking, “Sure, Geert. But I have so many of these thoughts that I must be losing my mind.” Well, please try to not think of a zebra now. Please do not think about a striped zebra running around in the sunshine eating some grass.
Impossible.
The more you resist, the more you will think about it. The stronger you react to certain thoughts, the more persistent they will be.
And that’s the point. You are not your thoughts!
You are the thoughts you act upon. And you will not act upon thoughts that are not in line with your core.
If you are worried about your thoughts, this is proof that they are not who you are. Your crazy thoughts do not define you. It’s like going across the channels on TV and passing by a horror movie with images you don’t like. You react and zap to another channel. Then a news program you think is utterly boring, which you react to, and you keep zapping until you find something you like.
The same is going on with your thoughts. They are just channels of information; they are not you until you decide you like a certain channel and believe it sounds interesting. Only then do they become you.
And crazy thoughts are not just about losing your mind, going crazy, or doing something that you really wouldn’t want to. They’re also the famous “what if?” thoughts we’ve been discussing all throughout the book.
As always, even with the thoughts, full acceptance is key. Accept the stream of information you’re getting, from the worst horror thoughts to the genius insights.
“Whatever! Thanks, mind, for your creativity, but I’m busy now. Unless you’ve got some real snakes, tigers, or aliens I need to look out for, I’m just going to continue with whatever I was doing prior to you disturbing me.”
Imagine that you’re sitting in a restaurant, enjoying your meal, and a kid walks by. That kid turns to you and says, “What if I start to freak out here? What if I faint? What if I vomit? What if I say something stupid?”
What will your reaction be?
“My gosh, yeah, what if?”
Probably not. Since it’s no
t your kid, you may not even react at all and just turn back to your plate and continue eating. It’s just a kid, and kids say the weirdest things.
Well, so does our crazy thought machine. And we can dismiss it just as easily as we can dismiss whatever a kid would say. Granted, it’s a tiny bit harder because at first it doesn’t seem to come from a distinct person, considering it’s coming from within you. But look at your thought machine as that primitive kid who just blurts out whatever comes to mind.
If you suffer from bad panic attacks, your thoughts may try to make you believe that you will lose control. You will not. Your mind is simply overwhelmed because it is fighting against an imaginary army of ever increasing legions of tigers and other predators. You can’t blame it for thinking that is a daunting task.
Nonetheless, here too, reassuring you that all will eventually be fine is not a solution, for your mind will try to convince you that your situation is different anyway. You know the rule by now: accept every possible outcome.
“Well, even if I lose my mind, even if I make the biggest fool out of myself, bring it on! It’s about time. Whatever happens, it’s OK.” This cuts through everything.
Aside from our thoughts, symptoms can be troublesome as well. Without a doubt, the most common symptom is:
Heart palpitations, skipped heartbeats, and other weirdness related to the chest area
This is the number one response to adrenaline. It’s difficult to have anxiety and not have it affect your heart. I had a tendency to place my finger on the vein in my neck, just to measure the status of my heart. If my heart was doing anything other than beating slowly, I’d panic even more and start the vicious cycle discussed in the beginning of this book.
We cannot really control our heart. Sure, our thoughts can help it calm down or speed up a bit, but if there ever would be a serious problem with our heart, our thoughts wouldn’t be able to fix it.
The heart has many reasons to beat faster other than you being physically active. If you drink alcohol, your heart will beat faster since alcohol is a poison to our bodies. If you’re sick and your immune system is fending off a virus, your heart will beat (a lot) faster. If you’ve eaten an ingredient you’re allergic to, your heart will beat faster too. Nothing bad is going on then, your body is simply doing its job.
Irregular heartbeats are no source of concern either, provided your doctor confirmed you are healthy heart-wise.
Since overcoming my panic attacks, my approach truly has always been to just let my heart do what it wanted. For fourteen years, I thought I was going to die right then and there at least once per week. I now decide I prefer to die once, for real, instead of in my own imagination multiple times a week. I want to truly live in the mean time.
Good ways to deal with heart symptoms are to just accept them, to say, “Whatever happens, it’s OK. If it’s something bad, I’ll deal with it then but now I’m still standing.” Use the friend method and comfort yourself. Or push harder and say, “Is that all you’ve got? Beat faster!” Reconfirm that you’re sick of being scared. You can also finally embrace it, letting the feeling of fear wash over you. Feel it, instead of frantically pushing it away like you probably used to.
Pick anything you like or a combo of everything, combined with the other techniques you’ve gotten on the menu in part two. Your heart is always going to mind its own business. We better let it.
This is indeed mostly a trust issue. Anxiety will only rise when you don’t trust your heart to do the right thing. That’s what the “what if?” thoughts will try to tell you. If they don’t, your negative radio will most probably be adding, “Yeah but you know you’re probably having a heart attack.” To which my reply has become, “Whatever. Whatever happens it’s OK, even that.” This was just my way of making fun of it and of accepting the anxiety. I, of course, preferred not to die!
I’ve been explaining how to use this sentence for over a decade to the people who followed the audio course, and the results have been nothing less than amazing. So give this a try, as hard and ridiculous as it may sound at first. I, personally, only worry if my heart doesn’t beat at all. And that has so far never happened.
And as I said earlier, if the pain and symptoms are severe, you go to the emergency room or call for an ambulance, but you can still choose to do so without anxiety. As you’ve learned in part one, anxiety can give you all of the symptoms that may resemble heart problems, so the only way to know something may really be going on is when you choose to let go of the anxiety. If the symptoms and pain then persist, only then would I, personally, seek help. Anxiety has no place here, no role. It won’t help even if something is going on. So it’s totally safe to choose to let go of anxiety.
Red face, flushing, and sweating
This is a great one if you suffer from a social phobia. There you are, minding your own business while sitting or standing in a public setting, possibly in conversation with someone else and suddenly you feel the wave of warmth entering your face. You know what that means... your skin will start to look red in no time, that or sweat beads will start to form, mimicking the Niagara waterfalls on your forehead. And if they don’t start on your face, they may do so in your arm pits before going for a collective run down your shirt.
A red face, flushing, and sweating are very common and normal during slight to moderate anxiety. A true panic attack, however, will probably give you a pale face, given that your blood will mostly rush to your muscles then. During moments of regular anxiety, however, the blood will rise to your head because that’s where our brain tends to be. It needs oxygen and blood to operate well and find a way out of the possible predicament your amygdala believes you to be in.
Here too, pure acceptance is key. You can use any of the techniques mentioned in part two.
I like humor as a technique, with sentences like, “Other people have to pay to go to a sauna. I have one built in.” And when someone notices your red face and comments on it, instead of feeling ashamed, state, “Yeah, well, you know how chameleons can change color? I’ve been practicing and practicing, but for now it only works with the red tone.”
This form of anxiety can only hurt you socially when you let it, when you consider it as a weakness. It isn’t. It’s just a symptom. When you’re hot, you sweat and get a red face. And sure, other people may not be feeling hot, but you are.
I want to emphasize this. Other people will see it, just like they can see you blink or wheeze, but they will not think any of the bad things your mind comes up with. They’ll believe you’re hot (which, to some, is a compliment) or possibly nervous. Is that so bad?
Let’s imagine they think, “Djeezs, look at her. What a loser, she is so weak a falling rain drop would crush her.” Does this say anything about you? Does it really? What does it say about the person thinking it? Who’s the real loser here? It’s not our job to adapt and dance to the whims of fools, crazy people, nasty people, bad people, stupid people, unkind people, and others. Let them have their opinion!
I still have sweaty armpits easily, not linked to anxiety. I don’t hide them. I choose not to care. There are so many flaws and disadvantages to my body and me being me, just as there are some to you being you. Nobody is perfect. I’ve learned to love myself, flaws included.
The more you resist sweating or flushing, the higher the tension will be. When it is, you will flush and sweat even more. As soon as you feel it coming on, let it come. Say, “Whatever happens, it’s OK. Make me as red as a tomato or a boiled lobster, it’s OK.”
Light-headedness and vertigo
This was one of the more prominent sensations I personally had to deal with.
Ingredients play a major role. Nobody acts surprised when they feel dizzy after downing a glass or three of their favorite liquor, but when I tell them the new furniture they bought may be causing it, they tend to look at me like I come from a different planet. Yet, the wood that’s used in most furniture often off gasses a lot of harmful toxins like formaldehyde (chlorofor
m).
When you suffer from these symptoms, as with every other symptom, talk to your doctor first. When your health seems OK, try to find what your body may be reacting to. It can be odors, ingredients, and substances you apply onto your skin. Fluoride in some tooth pastes causes vertigo for me, as do all artificial sweeteners. Start a diary and whenever you feel these sensations, write down where you were the twelve to twenty-four hours prior to the sensation. What had you been doing? What had you been drinking, eating, smelling, and applying onto your skin? Be as detailed as possible. The cause, the ingredient your body is responding to, is probably on the list.
Many years ago, I got severe vertigo with my vision going black. I had no idea what brought up the sensation, but I wrote everything down in my journal. Two months later, the same thing happened, and I wrote it down again. I noticed that I had just drank a freshly juiced apple juice, both times. So I started to do some research and found out that the pits of apples, which I hadn’t removed prior to juicing them, contain cyanide, the powerful neurotoxin. My juicer had kindly juiced those pits as well, giving me apple juice with just a hint of cyanide. There you had it, I had found the cause.
Badass Ways to End Anxiety & Stop Panic Attacks! Page 14