by Blue, Kaye
I pulled her close, wrapping her in my arms, trying to ignore how right it felt to hold her. After a long moment, I pushed back and met her eyes.
“I’m still not sure,” I said.
She studied me for a long moment then said, “You’re being honest.”
“With you, always,” I said.
“I think you mean that.” I believed her, but saw wariness in her eyes, wariness I wanted to go away.
“I do.”
We were quiet for a moment as I stared at her, resisting the urge to kiss her, feeling like this moment was important.
“I can see that brain of yours working,” I said.
“You say that like it’s a bad thing.” She lifted her brow again, some of the steel that I knew was a part of her peeking through.
“Not always, but for now, I don’t think it will help. You don’t know what this thing between us is, and I don’t either. I should just walk the fuck away. But I can’t ignore this. I won’t,” I said, my voice dropping in emphasis that almost sounded like anger.
She didn’t respond, but I could sense her agreement.
“So we’ll see where it goes,” I said.
“You know it’s crazy, right?” The corners of her lips turned up in a smile.
“I’m aware.”
She smiled, then her expression turned serious, so serious that I wasn’t sure what she was thinking or what she might say, but in the next moment, as she had so often since I had met her, she took me completely by surprise.
She stretched up tall, standing on her tiptoes.
The way she kissed me, gentle at first, then harder, deeper, took my breath away.
The quietness of the moment intensified and became something so much more.
I kissed her back, my kiss as intense as hers.
The moment deepened, neither of us seeming to know how to control it, and I didn’t want to.
I moved on instinct, guiding her toward the bedroom as I kissed her harder, deeper, with something that I knew deep inside was more than physical attraction but something I didn’t dare interrogate.
I made quick work of her pants, and she began working my shirt open and off my shoulders.
Her reaction, seeing her show some of the desperation that I had been fighting with, was almost beyond comprehension.
To know that she wanted me did something to me, but also gave me the power to be calm.
I broke the kiss and then quickly undressed myself.
I went back to her and pulled her shirt off and over her head, her body bare to me.
I took her in with my eyes, my breath coming out ragged, every part of me desperate to have her.
But I forced myself to go slow.
I pushed her down against the bed and hovered above her.
Kissed her again then knew I had to be inside her.
She opened her legs and welcomed me without words, and I pulled her closer.
My cock brushed against her inner thigh before I settled against her mound, centimeters away from where I wanted to be most.
I stared down at her, my cock so hard, my body so ready that I feared I would come before I made it inside her.
I held off, a condom only fingertips away, but I couldn’t make myself reach for it. I hated the idea of anything between us but couldn’t make myself say it out loud, and I hated myself for being such a selfish bastard.
“I haven’t been with anyone years, and I’m on the pill,” she said, seeming to sense where I was going.
“I’m clean,” I said, my voice strangled.
“Then now, Sasha,” she said, practically panting.
She hadn’t gotten my name out before I thrust insider her, the feeling of both calm and passion something I didn’t have the words to describe.
Nine
Erin
I woke as I had so many days before, but even as I hovered on the edge of consciousness, I knew today was different.
That I was different.
It seemed silly that something like sex and a date could so fundamentally change me, but it had.
Or maybe it was the man.
A combination of both.
Whatever it was, the woman I’d been before Sasha wasn’t the one who lay in my bed now.
Whether that was a good thing or a bad thing was yet to be decided, but I had much more interesting things to focus on.
I stretched and shifted, every inch of me tingling with the memory of the way Sasha had loved me. An instant later, some of the fuzziness in my brain sharpened when I realized he wasn’t there.
My eyes were closed, but I didn’t need to open them to confirm what I already knew to be true.
That feeling that came when he was around was gone.
And so was he.
I opened my eyes, a quick glance around the room confirming what I already knew.
I shifted, about to give way to melancholy, but the piece of paper that drifted to the floor as I turned over grabbed my attention.
I picked it up and stared at his strong, broad letters, feeling ridiculous yet also pleased by the way my heart warmed.
Had to take care of some things. See you later.
Miss me.
I giggled—actually giggled—which was something I never did.
If he were here, I’d tell him he didn’t have to worry about me missing him, that there was no question I would, but I quickly backed away from that thought.
Too dangerous, and given my sex-softened brain, I couldn’t allow myself to indulge those kinds of silly thoughts.
Instead I showered and dressed as I did all the time, though this time I felt different and knew it was because of him.
I made my way to the store, the glare off the door catching my eye.
I looked at it and realized instantly that it wasn’t the door I had installed before.
And then I looked at the window, which shouldn’t have been there.
It was glass, clear, clean, and not the plywood I had put up.
I tried the knob, relieved when I found the door open, and surprised that nothing seemed out of place.
I quickly checked the store, calmed myself when I saw everything was in order, and then looked at the keys sitting on the counter.
I had no question as to who was behind this.
I appreciated the gesture much more than I should have.
I wouldn’t allow myself to read into it, but him taking the time to arrange these repairs said something.
Maybe that he was just a good guy or maybe it was payment for services rendered, but it was of some significance to him.
Sasha wouldn’t trouble himself otherwise.
But I couldn’t ignore the unease that lay just under the surface.
I liked my privacy, my distance, and absolutely refused to ever let myself rely on anyone.
The thought of someone in my store without me knowing was one I didn’t like.
And the fact that I could easily see myself getting used to having Sasha look out for me was scarier than any asshole looking to force me to pay protection.
Because I looked out for myself, knew that was the best way—the only way—to be sure that I was taken care of.
But everything in the store was intact, so I stayed for a few hours, made a couple of sales, and then locked up and headed for lunch.
I made the quick walk to the bakery, happy when I found Adora there.
The bakery was closed, but she was busy working. When I knocked, she smiled and rushed over to open the door.
“Hey,” she said, ushering me in.
“Are you in the middle of something?”
“No, just wrapping up this order,” she said, gesturing to the cornucopia of bread and pastries on her cabinet.
“You did all this yourself?” I asked, trying to imagine how long it had taken, especially since I knew she’d baked all of the other pastries and worked the register.
“Yeah, but it’s no big deal. Howard got a catering order, and if we do this right,
there might be more business,” she said, looking excited, or as excited as she could since I knew she was exhausted.
“You need a hand boxing this up?”
“Yeah.” She nodded, looking relieved.
I put on an apron, washed my hands, slid on gloves, and bit my tongue. I’d told her more than a thousand times that Howard was taking advantage of her, but she just waved it off. And seeing how tired she was, I didn’t want to push the issue now.
A little over half an hour later, Adora and I had packed the order and stacked the boxes.
“You need to deliver these?” I asked, knowing she did that too, without any help from the supposed owner.
“No,” she said. “Someone will pick them up.”
There was something in her tone that caught my attention, but she quickly changed the subject.
“How about lunch? Chicken salad on croissants?”
“You know you don’t have to ask twice,” I said.
She smiled, prepared our meals, and then we settled in the bakery.
“So what’s been going on?”
“Someone broke the window and kicked in the door at the store,” I said.
At Adora’s immediate alarm, I wanted to take the words back.
“It’s fine,” I said, trying to calm her.
She looked unconvinced.
“Fine?”
“Yeah. It’s handled,” I said, before stuffing a bite of chicken salad in my mouth.
She did the same but didn’t look away, her eyes assessing me.
“What does ‘handled’ mean?” she finally asked.
I didn’t respond immediately, and Adora didn’t look away. And she wouldn’t, not until she got an answer.
“Erin?” she said, my usually sweet friend looking tough.
“I went back to see Sasha,” I said.
“And convinced him to see reason and help you out?” she said, sounding hopeful and optimistic.
“Not exactly.”
She looked at me and blinked, the blush creeping up her cheeks making me smile.
“Erin,” she whispered, her eyes wide.
“Adora,” I responded, giggling.
“You mean…?”
“Yeah,” I said.
“Are you okay?”
“Great,” I said immediately and honestly.
And Adora, sweet Adora, didn’t miss the implication.
“Oh my God!”
“What?”
“It’s just… Tell me if I’m wrong, but I get the sense that you were okay with… you know,” she said.
“I wouldn’t have done it otherwise, and he wouldn’t have forced me,” I responded.
She looked skeptical, and I tried to reassure her.
“Seriously, Adora, I’m fine.”
“If you’re sure…” she said, though her skepticism was still apparent.
“I’m sure. It’s not a huge deal, and there are…benefits.”
Adora giggled then took a bite of her chicken salad.
“I’m not going to press you for details, but as long as you’re okay…”
“Don’t worry about me. I’m fine.”
“If that changes and we need to bust out all his windows, let me know,” she said.
She looked so serious, I was momentarily taken aback.
“What?” She looked incredulous now. “We’re girls.”
“Good to know. But I don’t think Sasha’s the kind of man whose windows you want to break.”
“I’m just saying. If there’s a need…”
“There won’t be.” I giggled, and she smiled but quickly sobered.
“Adora?”
The look on her face was one I hadn’t seen before, and when she stood and hurried to the door, I knew why.
A man—tall, muscular, and well-dressed enough to stand out—stood in the door. He wasn’t exactly what I would call handsome, but he definitely had presence.
“H-Hi,” Adora said, jumping up.
She was sweet, kind, but she didn’t stammer.
I studied the man more, saw that he seemed intense, intense enough to throw most people off their game. Weirdly, he reminded me of Sasha, though I couldn’t say why.
“Is the order ready?” he asked, not even bothering with a greeting.
“Of course,” she said.
She went to grab one of the boxes we’d packed but froze when she spotted his scowl.
He marched to the boxes and loaded them into the back of an SUV one by one.
When he was finished, he handed Adora an envelope.
“Th-this needs to go to Howard,” she said as she opened the envelope. “And it’s way too much.”
The man didn’t give her a second glance as he walked out and got into the SUV.
“Who’s that?” I asked.
“The catering order. I didn’t get his name. He just came in yesterday and ordered four of everything,” she said, still flustered.
“And Howard didn’t help with any of it,” I said, unable to bite my tongue.
Adora shrugged, her way of telling me the subject was closed. I still was in no mood to push, so I looked at the spot where the SUV had been parked, one Adora hadn’t turned her eyes from.
“He seems kind of important to be a delivery boy,” I said.
Adora murmured noncommittally and then scurried about, cleaning a counter that was already clean before she sat back down at the table.
“I guess. I just hope something comes from it. We had to let go of the assistant baker.”
“And you’re filling the spot?” I asked, though it wasn’t even a question.
“Howard says just for a little while…”
“Yeah,” I said, glaring at her.
“I know, Erin,” she said, her shoulders slumping.
I reached across the table and grabbed her hand, regretting upsetting her. “I just hate to see him take advantage of you.”
“I know, but I love baking, and I think this place can be something,” she said.
“It already is,” I said.
And I meant it.
Howard owned the bakery, but Adora was its beating heart. Everything this place was, it was because of her, and I understood more than most how things looked on the outside wasn’t how they were inside.
“Thanks,” she said.
She was quiet for a moment but then looked back at me, clearly focused on something else.
“So, this thing with Sasha…”
She arched her brow, the moment’s tension gone just like that.
“It’s crazy, but I like it. So I’ll go with it. What do I have to lose?”
Adora didn’t say anything, but her expression gave her answer loud and clear: a whole lot.
But I ignored that and reminded myself that I had reasons that had nothing to do with Sasha and that everything would be fine.
“Okay, Erin. But remember I’m always here if we need to ride,” she said.
I laughed and then stood. “Noted. Now let’s finish cleaning up.”
* * *
Erin
I stayed with Adora for a while longer and then headed back to the store.
Just before dark, I was ready go, so I locked up, feeling confident that the store was safe, especially with the new window and door.
I’d read the brochure, and while the glass wasn’t shatterproof, it would take a lot break it.
It was a fortification I certainly wouldn’t have been able to afford on my own, one that I still wasn’t sure I wanted him to give me.
One I appreciated more than I cared to admit.
Satisfied that everything in the shop was in order, I prepared for my walk home.
I had hoped to see Sasha today but told myself not to obsess about it.
So instead, I locked up the store and started to walk.
Screamed when a strong hand closed around my arm.
Ten
Sasha
“What do you mean she wouldn’t come?”
The guar
d was smart enough not to quiver, but I couldn’t give him credit for that.
I’d assigned him a task, a very simple task, and he had not delivered.
And failure in my organization was never acceptable.
“I waited outside her building just like you asked. But she wouldn’t come with me,” he said, raising his hands as though that explained everything.
“And you did what?”
He froze then, his eyes widening, probably considering how best to answer the question.
I would have thrown her in the car and driven away, but he probably thought I wouldn’t appreciate such an approach from him.
And he was right.
The logical part of me recognized that, but I was feeling anything but logical.
It had been hours since I had seen Erin, entirely too long, and my irritation, rage, at not seeing her was now threatening to overcome come me.
I waited a moment, regaining control and formulating a plan as to how to deal with this.
She had to have known I’d sent him, so why didn’t she go with him?
There could have been a thousand reasons, but I managed to keep my mind from chasing all of them down.
Instead, I decided I would find out for myself.
But not now.
There was business that couldn’t wait, but soon.
“Set up the meeting, if you think that’s something you can handle.”
He nodded and left, clearly grateful to be out of my presence.
I’d handle my affairs quickly and then go see what the fuck was going on.
Quickly meant three fucking hours, time that I wanted to spend with Erin but instead spent handling mundane bullshit that left my mind as soon as I left the meeting.
I’d been attentive enough to handle what I needed to, but my thoughts had kept straying.
There was no way she’d faked her reaction to me.
She couldn’t have.
So there had to be some other reason for her refusal, and I was going to get to the bottom of it.
When I finally made it to her apartment, I kept myself from banging on the door and instead settled for a few quick knocks.
There was no response, and with each second that ticked by without her answering, my rage ticked a little bit higher.