She was not such a fool that she was blind to his passion when he kissed her. Yet even the times that he had kissed her, touched her, made her body come alive, had clearly failed to leave the same mark upon him. He was able to walk away without experiencing the emotional turmoil that he left upon her.
This fact did nothing to ease Raine’s mind in the least. She continued to think about him night and day.
Perhaps, she thought in helpless desperation, she would be able to set this all behind her if she was ever to experience the things her body desired. Perhaps if he made love to her she could finally put to rest her own confusion and ambiguity as far as he was concerned. For surely it was only a physical desire for him that had left her so very fixed upon Benedict.
There was nothing else about her husband to draw her attention so constantly. Certainly his kindness was a very compelling quality, yet his penchant for domination far outweighed it.
He had in no way made her change her mind about going home. Yet she barely thought on how she was going to make that happen. She was too consumed with her feelings for Benedict. If only she could ease this strange ache, perhaps she could concentrate on more important matters.
Yet was the thought of doing the deed not mad? She could not simply go to Benedict and tell him of her desire to make love with him. Raine put her hands to her heated cheeks, unable to still the swirling morass of her thoughts.
When the door to her chamber opened some time later Raine did not immediately turn to see who had come. The sounds it made, as everything else around her, weighed lightly against her own preoccupation and sense of unrest.
But when she heard Benedict’s voice say her name in an oddly hesitant and husky tone, she swung around to face him. The fact that he was wearing a long, black velvet dressing gown was not lost upon her, nor the fact that he looked far too masculine and compelling in it for her peace of mind. His strongly handsome face had a just washed looked, as did his raven hair, as if he had carefully groomed himself before coming.
It was that fact, along with the unreadable darkness of his blue eyes, that made her own breath quicken. For somewhere deep inside herself Raine knew why he had come, that it was her own need that had drawn him to her. Quickly she told herself that she must not leap to conclusions, that he could be here for any reason.
Even if he had come to her in that way, she could not simply acquiesce. It was one thing to contemplate a thing and completely another to do it.
He spoke softly, hoarsely, betraying a trace of yearning. “I have been thinking about us, about our relationship.”
In that moment she realized it was true. Benedict wanted her, too. He had come to her tonight because he was beset by the very feelings that coursed through her body.
That knowledge brought another wave of longing that left her knees weak, her stomach aflutter. She rose on shaking limbs. “Benedict.” Even she could hear the badly restrained desire in her tone. Worse, she knew that she could have done nothing to hide it had she attempted to.
Their eyes met and held as the rest of the room, the world, seemed to melt away in a smoky haze. There were only the two of them—Raine and Benedict and the full knowledge that they had waited long enough. The inevitable had arrived. When Benedict moved toward her in that surprisingly quick and graceful way of his, she could do nothing but hold out her arms. His eagerness was not only gratifying, it dissolved the very last shreds of her self-control. Even as he took her in his arms, she raised her willing mouth for his kiss.
He did not disappoint her. Those firm yet pliable lips met hers in a hot, wet kiss that made her bones turn to butter, her blood to sweet, warm honey.
He drew back to look down at her and she peered up at him from under heavy lids, dizzied by kisses, seeing the hunger in his gaze with a thrill. His tone was husky with disbelief and yes, even passion. “Raine, I know not what to say. I had not expected…”
Raine put her arms around his neck and rose up on tiptoe, telling him with her body that she was ready for this moment. There was no need for him to say anything at all, only to assuage the feelings driving them both.
Benedict did not know what had brought about this amazing change in Raine’s reactions to him. He had pondered long and hard over how to broach the subject of their joining, finally deciding that there was no way but to do it. He had never imagined that she would welcome him as she was, but he was not of a mind to question her now.
All thought of what he had meant to tell her of his wish for them to have a child and thus create a bond of peace was wiped from his mind. The depth of her response had brought home the power of his ill-fought attraction.
In this moment Benedict could not hide the truth from himself. He desired this woman more than he had ever thought he could. That and that alone had finally ended his indecision and driven him from his restless and lonely bed. Only in her embrace could he find surcease from the torment of his unappeasable passion.
His lips found hers once more.
Raine’s body strained toward his, and she reveled in the hardness of his chest against her own swelling breasts. When he reached down to trace a hand up her side, Raine realized that her robe must have parted in the fierceness of their embrace, for she could feel the heat of that hand through the light fabric of her night rail. She held her breath as that hand moved up to cup the outer side of her breast for a long infinite moment, then gasped aloud as it closed over that oh so tender flesh. As his thumb found the turgid tip she leaned back to allow him better access.
Benedict felt her nipple harden at his plying and was aware of his own body responding in kind. Groaning, he reached down and lifted her up against him, pressing her belly to his growing need.
He bent to kiss her again, all the cravings he had tried so hard to suppress rising up inside him, expanding out in joyous freedom like a river broken free of its banks. Heat and desire poured from his every nerve ending, leaving him weak with the force of his reactions to this woman.
Raine felt his hardness against her belly and knew a strange clenching inside her, an urging for something she could not name. As the other time when they had only just begun the journey down this road of pleasure, Raine knew that Benedict understood how to end this exquisite torment.
This time she would allow nothing to come between them, not even herself. She no longer wished to deny her own passion. When Benedict lifted her and moved toward the bed, she sighed with relief and undeniable anticipation.
Benedict reveled in the pliant weight of her in his arms as he carried Raine to the bed, then gently laid her back upon the pillows. He looked down at her, saw the passion in her heavy-lidded eyes, with a renewed wave of need heard her murmur, “Yes.”
He reached to remove her velvet bed robe, drawing it slowly off her shoulders as she rose to aid him, her gaze never leaving his. Tossing it to the floor, he returned to her, his gaze now taking in the sheerness of her gown, the sweet curves that were only barely disguised by the fabric.
Yet scant as it was, this garment, too, must go. He would see that soft skin, touch it, kiss it till she begged for surcease. Benedict was determined to make this moment last, to hold himself in check until he had enjoyed every bit of her.
Again Raine rose up to help him, seeming as overcome by her own passion as he. Benedict was not prepared for the strength of his body’s reaction as she lay back upon the pillows, her eyes bearing a trace of shyness, yes, but also gladness. He opened his own robe and dropped it, wondering if she would be as eager when she saw that he was ready, more so than he had ever been in his life.
Watching her closely, Benedict was aware of the rise of color in her cheeks as she looked at him. She did not turn away, but caught her breath sharply as she took in the sight of his manhood.
That catch in her breath broke the tight hold he had on himself and he took her in his arms, his own desire making his body tremble with longing. Her soft flesh scorched each part of him it touched.
But Benedict wasn’t ready to
give in completely just yet. He would please this woman who had brought him to such a sharp point of desire, no matter what the cost in self-restraint.
His lips met hers and he kissed her long and hard, pleased at her eager response. He pulled back then, his gaze taking in the perfection of her rounded breasts, so creamy with their deep peach tips. Reverently he lowered his head to take one turgid nipple into his mouth. As he suckled her she cried out, her fingers tangling in his hair.
“Benedict. Benedict.”
He laughed huskily, deep in his throat, and moved to ply the other breast. Only when she was squirming beneath him did he slip down to trail hot kisses over her stomach, before nuzzling the soft down curls at the joining of her thighs. When she gasped, he smiled, moving lower, exploring her warmth.
Raine sobbed aloud as she felt Benedict’s velvet mouth on that most secret part of herself. She was aflame, burning with a fire that rose up from that place to radiate out through her body in all-consuming need. She could not breathe, could not think as her head rolled from side to side and her fingers tangled in his thick black hair.
Her breath came faster and faster as the sensations built to a fever pitch of wanting. Every nerve screamed for some unknown release. And then at last it came, delight flooding through her as shudder after shudder took her.
Benedict wrapped his arms around her, holding her as she stilled, her breathing slowing. His own need was like a coiled snake inside him, rigid and barely restrained. Thus when she pushed away from him to whisper, “Show me what more there is to this loving,” he knew he could no longer wait.
He rose above her, positioning himself over her, his breath catching as she opened herself to receive him. But Benedict bit back the urge to dive without restraint into that beckoning warmth.
Although he had prepared the way, she was still a virgin. And he had no desire to hurt her.
Gently he probed the entrance to her body, holding back, keeping himself in check.
Raine reached out to him. “Please, Benedict.”
He leaned his forehead against hers, swallowing hard. “I don’t wish to hurt you.”
She pushed back, looking him directly in the eyes. “You will not hurt me.” And with that she raised herself up, sheathing him in the velvet glove of her womanhood.
Benedict’s will completely vanquished, he began to move inside her, closing his eyes as her body fell into an exquisite rhythm with his. He threw his head back, gasping as undulating waves of pleasure spread through him in a dizzying rhythm that matched that of their two bodies.
And then he was falling, tumbling into a bright, hot blaze of ecstasy, all sense of self lost in the oneness of the two of them, their coupled flesh.
He gasped her name, “Raine,” feeling the sweetness of it on his lips as he slumped above her. Only when the waves of pleasure had subsided was he able to find the strength to roll to his side, pulling her with him.
He held her in his arms, tracing a hand over the curve of her hip as he felt his breath return to normal. Normal! The word seemed strange. He did not know if anything in his life would ever seem normal again after this wild, abandoned, passionate experience.
He smiled as he nuzzled her tousled red hair. “You don’t know how I worried over approaching you, telling you that I wanted us to be together.”
She sighed, pushing back to gaze up at him, her golden eyes still dark with passion. “Did you, Benedict?”
He drew her back down beside him. “I admit that I did. I never imagined that you would be so ready to accept me when I came here to end the war between us, to tell you that it was now time for you to take up your place as the lady of Brackenmoore, the future mother of its heir.”
Instantly she stiffened, and Benedict frowned at the coolness that had entered her voice as she said, “That is what you came to me for—to tell me that I must accept my place as lady of Brackenmoore and the mother of your heirs?”
He felt a sinking sensation inside himself, but tried to ignore it. He spoke earnestly. “Of course, I hoped that you would see that your doing so would be best for all concerned.”
Her voice was distant and bleak as a winter sky. “Best for all concerned.”
He answered hesitantly, “Yes. For all of us.”
Raine slipped from his arms, and stood, pulling the coverlet with her. Benedict watched with growing unease as she wrapped it tightly around herself before turning to face him. The coldness of her gaze pierced him as she said, “I want you to leave now.”
“But Raine…” He sat up, reaching for her.
Raine took a step backward, shaking her head. “Do not touch me. I cannot think whatever could have come over me to allow you to seduce me, when all you wanted was to make things easier for yourself. To put me in my place so that you could go on about the business of looking after your precious Brackenmoore.”
Benedict said not a word, but rose from the bed to take up his robe from the floor. His movements were jerky and hurried, but she had far too much time to view the body that had only moments before brought her so much pleasure.
Raine forced her gaze away, looked at the lushly carpeted floor, the bed hangings, the gray stone ceiling, anything but her husband as he made his way to the door. But he was not to leave without a parting shot, the very disdain in his tone making her cringe. “You may tell yourself that you have been wronged, that I somehow harmed you in my reasons for wishing to set things right between us.” He paused and his eyes bored into hers. “But I will not allow you to say that I seduced you. You welcomed me, my lady wife, and with open arms.”
The sound of her outraged cry was lost in the slamming of the door.
Even as she stamped her foot in frustration, Raine knew that she had no cause for such righteous indignation. What he’d said was all too true. She had no one to blame for what had just occurred but herself.
It was a fact that only made her circumstances all the more difficult to accept.
After lying awake the whole night, Raine had come to one conclusion. She could no longer remain at Brackenmoore. The fact that Benedict had made love to her in order to secure his dominion over her seemed to have left a jagged and aching hole in her chest. Devil take the man who called himself her husband.
That he had taken her so easily was galling, to say the least. It did not help to know that her own desire for him had made his conquest all the easier. It had been impossible to deny herself when he came to her.
What had she been thinking? Had it really seemed plausible that she would be able to better withstand him if she was to salve the aching need she felt for him?
She had been fooling no one but herself. For now, in spite of his callous reasons for making love to her, she only wanted Benedict Ainsworth more than ever. She had not been prepared for the feelings that he had awakened in her body. Nor had she been prepared for the fact that, having been awakened, they would only clamor all the more insistently inside her.
Even now her body tightened at the memory of how he’d touched her—brought her to aching life, made her yearn for more. She could not face him again, knowing what a tremulous hold she had on her autonomy.
There was only one thing she could do. That would be to leave Brackenmoore, now, before she could give herself any time to reconsider.
That she might be caught by Benedict and kept here, she knew. If that were to happen there would be very little chance of escape in the future, for he would surely make her even more a prisoner than she was. Yet she must try.
The first thing Raine would do would be to inform William of her decision. That he might not wish to accompany her passed through her mind for the briefest of moments.
Horrified at her own thought, Raine quickly dismissed it.
Of course William would come. He was her brother, Abbernathy his home, his heritage. His loyalties could not have changed so much no matter how attached he had become to her husband and his brother.
Yet even after telling herself this she did not go directly
to find William. Raine busied herself instead with readying the few belongings she needed for the journey. The rest of her things she could manage without. Getting away from Brackenmoore and the overshadowing presence of her husband far outweighed the loss of a few personal items.
She would tell Aida, as well. The maid could not be left behind. She was like family to Raine. But the maid would not be told before Raine was ready to make her move. Aida was so very rattled at the best of times. She could not be placed in the position of inadvertently giving them away.
Unfortunately, Aida came in just as Raine finished tying up the small bundle. Raine was saved from having to explain her intent, for the maid knew the moment their gazes met.
Aida put her hands to her lips, whispering, “We are leaving.”
Raine nodded. “We are. And now that you know, it must be immediately.”
The words produced a sigh of anxiety. “Do you think that this is wise, my lady?”
Raine refused to be drawn into any discussion of the matter. “We will leave on the morrow. You must take only what you can carry with you.”
“But how are we to do this?”
Raine spoke with confidence. “You, William and I will ride out from here and meet at the shoreline in the morning after the meal. We will go on to Abbernathy from there.”
“My lord Benedict will not allow us to just leave.”
Raine shook her head. “He will never suspect that we have gone until it is far too late. He would not imagine that I would leave without William’s men.”
Aida’s eyes rounded with horror. “And we should not. ’Tis far too dangerous for two women and one young lad upon the road.”
Raine replied evenly, “That is why we must certainly have a care. Should you choose to stay here at Brackenmoore you may do so.”
Aida wrung her hands. “You know I could not let you and William set off on such a journey without me.”
Raine nodded. “Very well then. Be at the ready. I will speak to William as soon as possible.”
The Bride Of Spring Page 14