The only downside was that she missed Noah, not too badly yet, but she knew the time was coming when she’d be expected to work every day, and that was going to be tough. The morning rush hour and a quick story before bed did not seem nearly enough, though Helen knew that was by and large all the time the majority of men got to have with their kids. How did they cope, she wondered. How did they ever manage to develop meaningful relationships in so little time? And it wasn’t just men: Helen was well aware that more and more women were in the same boat, and she was not sure it was one she wanted to board.
‘So, what kept you at work?’ Gemma asked as Helen sat down to eat.
She shrugged. ‘Oh, you know, the usual.’
Gemma looked at her. ‘Filing and answering the phone doesn’t tend to keep me late.’
Helen sighed inwardly. Just change the subject. ‘So what did you two get up to today?’
As Noah proceeded to prattle on, Helen avoided eye contact with Gemma, but she could feel the tension nevertheless. Perhaps one good thing would come of her taking over full-time. Gemma would be right away from Bailey’s with a new focus and her own set of challenges. That had to be better for everyone.
Monday
Gemma couldn’t understand why she was still feeling so tired. She’d had Thursday and Friday largely to herself, as usual, and she’d spent almost the entire weekend in a horizontal position. Phoebe had come over on Friday night, but she was a bit of a drag these days, since she had talked Gemma into letting her be her support person during labour. Gemma was beginning to think that had been a mistake. Phoebe was acting like a coach before a big game. She had taken to scouring the birth manuals and marking passages to read out loud to Gemma, and then quizzing her on them later. This week her obsession was the benefits of perineum massage. Gemma said she could barely reach her perineum let alone massage it. So Phoebe had offered to do it for her, and that was right about when Gemma had told her to go home.
Then Charlie had turned up on Saturday afternoon to try to talk her into going to see a film, but he couldn’t budge her. As there was no beating her, he’d ended up joining her, and they had both lolled around for hours watching Noah’s DVDs because Gemma could not even be bothered going to the video store.
But the rest seemed to have done little for Gemma’s energy levels, probably because she wasn’t getting more than a couple of hours’ sleep at a time with the baby using her bladder for kick-boxing practice. She’d had to drag herself through most of the day today, and she was really beginning to wonder if she could make it into the office again tomorrow. She should just throw in the towel, take her leave and be done with it.
‘So why don’t you?’ Charlie had asked when she’d brought it up between Finding Nemo and The Incredibles. ‘I’m getting a little worried about you, Gem.’
‘Well I’m just worried that the longer I’m away, the less likely I’ll be to get my job back.’
‘Gem, we’ve already been over this. Helen won’t do that to you.’
‘How can you be so sure?’ said Gemma. ‘Everyone seems to have the idea that Helen’s so sweet and innocent, but who really knows what she’s thinking?’
‘Then ask her!’ Charlie declared. ‘And while you’re at it, ask the MD as well.’
‘Ask him what?’
‘Ask him if you’re going to have a job to go back to after the baby,’ he said simply.
‘I can’t just come out with it like that.’
‘Why not?’ said Charlie. ‘I get the idea he’d much rather people were straight with him, you know. You should talk to him, get some of this out in the open. Might put your mind at rest, and then you can stop cutting off your nose to spite your face and finish up at work.’
But Gemma was not so sure. She slumped forward on her desk, resting her chin on her hands. She was sure she could go to sleep right now, just like this . . . she closed her eyes . . .
‘Gemma?’
She jumped. Myles was standing over her desk, frowning down at her. She hadn’t even heard him coming.
‘Are you okay?’ he asked. ‘You don’t look so good.’
‘I’m fine,’ she said, sitting up straight and giving her hair a flick.
He considered her for a moment longer. ‘Are you sure?’
‘Yes, I’m sure,’ Gemma insisted through barely gritted teeth. ‘Do you need something, MD?’
‘Um, no . . . well, yes, actually,’ he said. ‘I was just wondering how much longer you intend to keep working?’
Here it was, finally. ‘Why do you ask?’
‘Well, Helen’s well and truly settled into the position now; in fact, she even does a bit of work Mondays and Tuesdays from home. There’s no reason for you to soldier on, Gemma.’
‘I’m fine, really,’ she said curtly. ‘I can manage.’
Myles stood his briefcase on her desk and leaned on it. ‘The thing is, you mustn’t have much longer to go. When are you due?’
She dropped her eyes. ‘I’m not exactly sure.’
‘Haven’t you had an ultrasound?’
‘Yes,’ she relented, ‘but they’re not a hundred percent accurate.’
‘I thought they were pretty close.’
‘Oh, so when you had your baby, that was your experience, was it?’ Gemma said petulantly. She glanced up at him and he was staring curiously at her. ‘Look, I had no idea of my dates,’ she explained, ‘so they work it out from the baby’s measurements, and obviously babies come in all shapes and sizes. So the best they can do is an estimate.’
‘So what’s the estimate?’ Myles persisted.
‘A few weeks still,’ she said vaguely. ‘So, there’s no rush to get me out of the door just yet.’
There was a pause as the acid in her words ate a hole in the ozone layer.
‘What’s the matter, Gemma?’ asked Myles.
She didn’t appreciate his tone. It was too . . . considerate.
‘I’m just not sure this is going to work out,’ she said finally.
‘What are you talking about?’
‘This job-sharing arrangement.’
‘I think it’s working out fine,’ said Myles. ‘Better than fine, in fact.’
‘For you, maybe.’
‘I hate to pull rank, Gemma, but I think I hold the deciding vote.’
She couldn’t exactly argue with that.
‘Are you going to tell me what’s bothering you?’ Myles asked her, using that tone again.
How much time did he have? Her back was hurting, her feet were so swollen she couldn’t fit into any of her shoes, she had a vague sensation of nausea all the time, she had constant heart-burn, she was so tired she couldn’t see straight, and her emotions had a life all their own, so that right now, if she attempted to actually answer him, she couldn’t guarantee what was going to come out of her mouth.
‘Gemma?’
Bugger it. Charlie said she ought to be straight with him, and what did she have to lose anyway?
‘Okay, you want to know what’s bothering me?’ she cried. ‘I’ll tell you what’s bothering me. In all the months I’ve worked for you, answering your mail and updating your schedule and filing your files, you’ve never asked me to one meeting or included me in any “projects”, and then Helen waltzes in here and you give her the run of the place.’
‘Okay, putting aside the gross exaggeration,’ said Myles, ‘you’re right. And the reason for that is I haven’t had the same level of trust with you, Gemma, that I have with Helen.’
‘Whose fault is that?’
He shook his head. ‘Helen didn’t lie to me to get the job.’
‘But you only found that out a couple of months ago. What about before that?’
‘Gemma, I knew in the interview that you were lying to me.’
She blinked. ‘You did?’
‘Not about the pregnancy,’ he said. ‘But I’m not stupid, Gemma. You had a very impressive record at Bailey’s before you jumped ship. I knew you didn’t want to be my P
A; you were just trying to find a way back in.’
‘So why did you give me the job?’
‘I thought since you knew the business so well, you might be quite an asset as a PA, if you did as you promised and really threw yourself into it.’
‘Well, I tried to,’ she insisted. ‘You just wouldn’t give me a chance.’
‘That’s not true, Gemma. You sulked your way through most days, grudgingly doing your work, making it quite clear that you felt it was beneath you. You never tried to build any trust or rapport.’
‘I did too!’
‘What, by telling me to get a haircut and pushing your way into meetings?’
Gemma could feel herself going red.
‘You know what, Gemma? I think you probably have a huge amount to offer, if you just got over the attitude that everybody owes you. So your boyfriend left you in the lurch. Life is unfair sometimes, but it takes two people to get pregnant. Start taking some responsibility for your own actions instead of blaming everyone else. If you want things to change, then get off your backside and do something about it.’
The ping announcing the arrival of an email broke Gemma’s reverie. The MD had long since gone into his office, and she had no idea how long she’d been sitting here, staring into space. Where did he get off saying those things to her, homing right in on her insecurities like that? Who did he think he was?
She turned to the computer and clicked on her inbox. The email was from Mel.
Meet us at DryDock at six. It’s important.
Gemma sighed, hitting reply.
Sorry, can’t make it tonight.
Not more than a minute passed before the phone rang. Gemma picked up the receiver. ‘Mr Davenport’s office.’
‘Gemma, it’s Mel.’
‘Oh, hi.’
‘You have to come down to DryDock.’
‘Mel, I’m exhausted –’
‘It won’t take long, but it’s important. You’re going to want to be there for this.’
‘What’s it about?’
‘It’s about your friend, Helen.’
Gemma walked wearily through the front door as Helen backed out of Noah’s room, switching off the light.
‘Hi, you’re late,’ said Helen in a hushed voice, pausing to examine her more closely. ‘You look terrible, Gemma. Are you feeling all right?’
Gemma was about sick of hearing that. ‘We have to talk,’ she said squarely.
Helen nodded, trailing Gemma as she walked determinedly out to the kitchen.
‘I served you up some dinner,’ said Helen, crossing to the bench and picking up a foil-covered plate. ‘Do you want me to heat it up for you?’
‘I’m not hungry,’ Gemma said grimly, pulling out a chair to sit down.
Helen turned to look at her. ‘You should eat, Gemma. Or did you go out for dinner? Is that why you’re late?’
‘I met some of the staff after work,’ she said.
‘That’s nice.’
‘Why didn’t you tell me about the campaign you’ve been working on, Helen?’
She shrugged. ‘I did, I’m sure I’ve mentioned it.’
‘Yeah, sure you’ve mentioned it,’ said Gemma. ‘Like it was no big deal.’
‘It’s not that big a deal, Gemma. It’s just an idea Myles had –’
‘I heard it was your idea.’
Helen shook her head. ‘It was something I said to Myles, quite offhand, about toilet paper of all things, and he ran with it. He wanted to develop the idea of having real people talk honestly about why they choose the products they do.’
Gemma folded her arms. ‘And he thinks that’s never been done before?’
‘No,’ Helen groaned. ‘Look, we had to go through all this with the teams, Gemma.’
‘Yeah, well I had to hear it from the angry mob.’
‘What are you talking about?’
‘Down at DryDock tonight. Everyone was there and they’re really pissed off about what’s going on, Helen.’
She frowned. ‘What do they think’s going on?’
‘Oh, just that some nobody without any advertising experience whatsoever has managed to bend the MD’s ear with lame ideas and he’s letting her run her own campaign.’
Helen’s eyes narrowed. ‘Who said this?’
‘I told you, a whole contingent from the office met down at DryDock. Justin Moncrieff was the spokesman.’
‘Why am I not surprised?’ Helen leaned back against the bench and shook her head. ‘He’s so arrogant, that man. He shot down everything Myles said, he didn’t listen, he didn’t want to be open to new ideas. He actually didn’t want any part of it, so I don’t know why he’s complaining. Were there any other team leaders there? I bet Julie Russo wasn’t.’
‘No, she wasn’t there,’ Gemma admitted. ‘But Lewis –’
‘Oh, come on, Gemma,’ Helen declared. ‘Lewis is a complete idiot. He’s an embarrassment; in fact, I don’t understand why they keep him on staff.’
‘His uncle’s on the board.’
‘Well, that explains that. You know, Myles actually has quite a lot of respect around the place, especially from people who don’t listen to hearsay.’
‘Look, there were about a dozen people there, all right?’ said Gemma. ‘And they’re all really pissed off, Helen. They reckon this “I buy it because” idea is lame, and the MD shouldn’t be dictating how the teams run their campaigns.’
‘It’s not like that,’ said Helen. ‘You’re only getting their side.’
‘Yeah, well, that’s because you never told me anything about it.’
‘And that’s because you get miffed every time I do tell you anything that goes on at work,’ Helen retorted, tired of this. ‘If I say I’ve sat in a meeting, I have to listen to you complain for ten minutes because you never get to sit in on meetings. So I stopped telling you. It’s not my fault that the MD asks me to do this stuff. I don’t know why he does.’
Because he trusted her so much, supposedly. That was his story anyway. Gemma hadn’t believed one bit of his bluster today. He was making excuses, and she was going to out him.
‘Everyone thinks it’s because you’re sleeping together,’ Gemma said bluntly.
‘What?’ Helen exclaimed. ‘I hope you set them straight.’
She shrugged. ‘How am I supposed to know what you get up to 24/7?’
‘Gemma,’ Helen said, clearly upset, ‘you know perfectly well we’re not sleeping together. I thought you were my friend.’
‘And I thought you were mine,’ Gemma threw back at her. ‘You needn’t get all wounded with me, Helen. I had to talk you into even considering this job in the first place, and now you’re taking over. You don’t know the first thing about advertising. You shouldn’t be using the circumstances to get influence over the MD.’
‘What does that even mean? What circumstances?’
Gemma shook her head. ‘I can’t believe you’re so naive, Helen.’
‘Please don’t patronise me, Gemma. I’m not naive, and I’m not stupid. Just because you don’t get along with the MD, you suspect there has to be something between us because I do. You’ve been implying it ever since the day we met, and frankly it’s insulting.’
‘How is it insulting?’
‘It’s insulting to suggest that Myles could only be interested in what I have to say because he’s attracted to me,’ said Helen, becoming shrill. ‘That that could be the only reason he hired me.’
‘It wasn’t the only reason he hired you: there was a much bigger hook than that.’
‘What are you talking about?’
‘He knows about David,’ said Gemma coolly. ‘He’s known from the start.’
Helen couldn’t speak.
‘When I was trying to talk him into the job-sharing idea, he wasn’t convinced, till I mentioned you’d lost your husband . . .’
Helen could feel tears pricking behind her eyes. ‘I asked you not to tell anyone about that, Gemma.’
�
�I didn’t plan to; it just came out,’ she said. ‘That’s why I asked him not to say anything to you. I knew you’d run a mile if you realised he knew.’
Helen crossed her arms in front of herself, breathing hard. ‘How very manipulative of you.’
Gemma met her gaze. She hadn’t done anything wrong: it was an accident, the way it had come out. And it was time Helen was made aware of exactly who was taking advantage of the situation. Myles had said if she wanted things to change, she should go ahead and change them. Okay, he’d asked for it.
‘If you stop for a minute and think about it, Helen, I think you’ll find Myles is the one doing the manipulating.’
Helen couldn’t stand there any longer. She walked out of the kitchen and straight to her bedroom, closing the door behind her. She was trembling, tears filling her eyes. How could Myles have lied to her all this time? All his crap about honesty . . . it was a joke. Their friendship was a joke. The job was a joke.
And Helen was going to tell him what he could do with it. Right now, tonight, before she lost her nerve.
‘Gemma,’ she said a moment later, standing in the doorway to the kitchen. ‘Noah’s asleep, I just checked on him. Do you mind if I go out for a while?’
Gemma looked across the table at her. ‘Where are you off to?’
‘Does it matter?’ she said. ‘Look, I don’t intend to be away long, Noah won’t wake up, and I assume you’re not going out –’
‘It’s fine, Helen, go ahead.’
‘Thank you,’ she said, and turned and walked away.
It didn’t take long to drive into the city at this time on a Monday night. The roads were almost empty. Helen was even able to park the car out the front of the building. There was a different security man on the door, but he didn’t blink when Helen presented her pass.
‘Good evening, ma’am. Are you expecting to stay long in the building tonight?’
‘No, I shouldn’t be long at all,’ said Helen.
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