He had to.
Emotion rose, choking my voice. “Please. If you don’t let this drop, it could cost a man’s life.”
Stemp moved at last. Pinched the bridge of his nose, squeezing his eyes shut. “You’re asking me to simply take you on faith.” When he opened his eyes again, I saw a weary man worn down by the betrayals of the world. “I can’t take anyone on faith. You know that.”
I bowed my head, staring at my white-knuckled hands while they throttled each other in my lap.
“If you could just give me a name in your secret chain of command,” Stemp said softly. “You’ve trusted me with the knowledge of its existence. Trust me enough to explain why you can’t have this on your record as an agent.”
“I can’t.” My voice vibrated with hollow despair.
His silence made me clench my fists, anger welling up like glowing magma. I jerked my chin up to glare at him. “Why the fuck does it even matter whether I’ve got the stupid hand-to-hand qualification? Germain says it’s not a core requirement. I’ve passed your basic qualification tests. And I already told you you’d be putting people in danger if you promoted me to being an agent. Why can’t you just let this go?”
“Because I need to know the full capabilities of all my agents,” he said quietly. “Lives depend on it.”
“If you put me in a situation where somebody’s life depends on me knowing martial arts, they will die! Count on it!” I balled my fists in my hair to keep from slamming them on his desk.
He stared into my eyes. “Is the life of that one man so important that you would sacrifice others to save him?”
My anger deserted me, leaving nothing but an empty shell. I slumped in the chair. “I don’t have a choice.” My voice came out utterly hopeless.
After a long pause, he said, “I’ve been in your shoes. Deep cover can be… extraordinarily difficult.”
When I dragged my gaze up to his, there was sympathy in Stemp’s expression.
He let out a short breath. “All right. I’ll alter your personnel records to indicate you’re not qualified in hand-to-hand combat, and all future assignments will be based on that. And I’ll redact that portion of Kane’s report and cancel your requalification. No lives will be lost through unrealistic expectations.” He gave me a wintry smile. “Next time, don’t get caught snapping necks.”
A flood of relief floated my head dizzily to the ceiling. “Th-thank you…” I whispered. I sucked in a breath, trying not to faint. “Thank you.”
He nodded, expressionless as always. “Dismissed.”
After waiting a moment to make sure my legs would hold me, I rose and tottered out.
When I emerged from Stemp’s office, Holt stood in the corridor. His hands flexed at his sides and he shifted from foot to foot, his gaze locked on me. I avoided eye contact and kept walking.
As I passed, he snapped, “Wait.”
It didn’t sound like anger.
I turned, letting the motion place my back to the wall while I regarded him warily. Down the corridor, Germain strolled out of my office and halted, watching us.
Holt spared him an uncomfortable glance before returning his attention to me. “I’m sorry,” he blurted.
Germain lingered, eyeing Holt with his neutral cop face firmly in place.
Holt’s gaze flickered in his direction, his lantern jaw tightening. His next words strained out between his teeth. “I owe you both an apology. I lost control. I’m sorry.” His steely gaze sought mine, and I read his sincerity despite the bunching of his shoulders. “I reviewed the parts of your mission reports that are accessible through my…” The muscles in his jaw rippled. “…current security clearance. You’ve got nothing to prove to an asshole like me and I deserve that harassment complaint. I’m going to tell Stemp that now.”
Cautious sympathy tugged at my heart. As he turned away with his face set in hard lines, I touched his sleeve.
“I only told him you were angry. I didn’t file a complaint.”
He froze. “Why not?”
“Carl told me you’d had a tough time. I know what that’s like.”
Holt turned slowly to face me, tension easing from his posture. His gaze searched my face while his jaw worked as if struggling for words. “Thanks,” he muttered at last. “But that’s no excuse.”
“No.” I gave him a rueful lift of my eyebrows. “But I’ve had to make some apologies of my own. All we can do is keep trying.”
His jaw eased, his shoulders lowering. “Thanks.” This time he sounded as though he meant it. “Can… we start over? I’m Greg Holt. Part-time asshole.”
I grinned despite myself and shook his outstretched hand. “Aydan Kelly. Part-time fraud artist and porn star, thanks to my Arlene Widdenback cover.”
An answering grin softened his craggy features. “Yeah, I got that from your mission reports. It’s got to be shitty living with that cover, but it’s nice to meet you.” He turned to Germain, his smile vanishing into a cop face as unreadable as Germain’s own. “Thanks. I’ll do better.”
Germain’s keen brown eyes measured him for a moment before he nodded. “I know you will. You’re welcome.”
Holt nodded and headed for Stemp’s door, squaring his shoulders.
I continued down the hall and Germain leaned close to murmur, “Don’t trust him, Aydan. I think he’s basically a good guy, but he’s unstable right now. And he’s almost as advanced in hand-to-hand combat as Kane and me.”
I sighed. “Great. Thanks for the heads-up.” I glanced at my watch. “Ten whole minutes before our briefing. I’m going to go and get a breath of fresh air.”
Germain nodded. “Coffee time for me.” He headed for the lunchroom.
Wandering down the sidewalk a few minutes later I drew a deep breath of cold, clean air. My legs still quivered, and I willed strength into them.
I’d passed my tests. Arnie was safe. Parr had played into our hands.
So why wasn’t I dancing down the street in sheer euphoria?
Stemp’s sympathetic expression rose in my memory and my guts squirmed. Dammit, why was I feeling guilty? He’d screwed me over so many times…
Because he’d had to. Doing his duty for our country.
And now I felt like a total shit for lying to him.
I hissed through my teeth. I hadn’t lied. Arnie’s life was at stake. And this was the right thing to do. At least now any agent who worked with me would be safer because they wouldn’t expect me to be Jane Bond, super-ninja…
My waist pouch vibrated and I grabbed my phone, thankful for the distraction.
Private caller.
Tension gathering in my shoulders, I thumbed the Talk button. “Hello?”
“Hey, sweet-ass. Meet me at the drive-in tonight at eight.”
It wasn’t difficult to sound stiff. “Who is this?”
“You know who it is.”
“What do you want?”
“You don’t listen very well, do you? I want you to meet me at the drive-in at eight tonight.”
I clenched my teeth. “It’s winter. The drive-in is closed.”
“Aren’t you the bright one. Later, sweet-ass.” Sharkface hung up.
I swore and spun to stomp back to the office.
Chapter 19
Dropping onto the couch in my office, I returned a terse ‘hi’ to Kane’s pleasant greeting. Spider mumbled a dispirited hello as well, and I dragged myself out of my mood.
“Everything okay, Spider?” I eyed him worriedly.
“Yeah.”
The gloomy monotone was so unlike him that Kane and I exchanged a glance of concern.
“What’s…” I began, only to be interrupted by Stemp’s arrival.
Spider pressed his lips together and gave me a tiny headshake, and I let it drop. A few moments later Germain arrived, coffee in hand, and Stemp called our meeting to order.
“Kelly, give us your progress report on Afterburner.”
Kane straightened in his chair, his eye
s igniting. “There’s progress?”
“Um…” I drew a deep breath, schooling my expression into what I hoped was a detached cop face.
Do not let remembered fear get to you. Summon the anger…
I addressed the far wall of my office. “Hibbert left another box on my doorstep late yesterday afternoon. It was…”
My throat went dry.
Calm down. He’s dead. It’s over.
“…just another personal threat,” I said steadily. “So I called Parr and forced his hand. I told him I didn’t want his money and I was finished with him and with Hibbert’s threats. And I eliminated the bug.”
Stemp’s emotionless façade was disturbed by the fractional lift of his eyebrow.
“I did it in a plausible way,” I assured him before he could ask. “It would have sounded accidental to them.”
He nodded and the eyebrow resumed its status quo.
A sudden thought struck me. “Was there a wiretap on my phone line?” I asked.
“No.”
“Good. Can you get the analysts to go back to calling me instead of texting?”
I didn’t bother to add that I’d failed to get their warning until far too late last night. And since I’d just finished lying to Stemp about being an agent, it seemed like a bad time to display my incompetence.
Stemp nodded. “I’ll inform them.”
I turned my attention back to the others. “So Parr responded by murdering Hibbert.”
“What?” Spider’s yelp sounded as though something in his chair had bitten him. Kane and Germain jerked forward, their faces intent.
“Sharkface…” I hesitated. “Do we know who that guy was? Is?”
“Kevin Barnett. Suspected enforcer for Fuzzy Bunny,” Stemp supplied. “Confirmed, after last night.”
“Kevin?” I hesitated, momentarily distracted. “Seriously?”
“Yes. Is there a problem?”
“No. He… just… I mean, Kevin? He looks like he should be… I don’t know, Rocco or Slade or something.”
Everyone except Spider eyed me as if questioning my sanity.
I pulled myself together. “Um. Anyway. I guess Parr’s bug had picked up Hibbert’s threats. So Sharkface… um, Barnett… tortured Hibbert using the same methods Hibbert had promised to use on me…”
Don’t think about it. Don’t…
“…and then brought him to my place,” I continued with barely a waver in my voice. “…where he tied him to my porch railing and emptied a magazine into him just for fun before finishing him off with a shot to the head.”
“On your front porch?” Spider sounded strangled. “That’s horrible!”
“It was a hell of a mess,” I agreed. “And he left the murder weapon on my doormat to be sure I’d pick it up and get fingerprints on it, and also forced me to pick up the brasses to get prints on those, too. If I really was Arlene Widdenback, I’d be totally hooped.”
“Smart,” Kane murmured.
“Yeah. Sharkface is a pro, but he’s a little overconfident.” My grin showed a few more teeth than usual. “He thinks I’m a harmless bimbo.”
A tiny smile tugged at the corner of Stemp’s mouth. “An impression you ably enhanced. I did enjoy the charade with the empty pistol.”
Unexpected pride warmed me. “Thanks.” I gave him a grin before returning my attention to the others. “So my good buddy Sharkface offered to solve my little problem by removing the body, but he kept the murder weapon as leverage. And he wants to meet me tonight. I expect he’ll have some demands.”
“You didn’t mention that last night.” Stemp eyed me questioningly.
“No, he just called a few minutes ago. I’m meeting him at the drive-in at eight.”
“How many times have I warned you about sneaking out at night to meet your boyfriends?” Germain teased, mischief glinting in his eyes.
I hung my head in mock penitence. “Sorry, Dad.”
“Do you want backup?” Kane asked.
“Ummm…” I frowned into middle distance. “I’m… not sure…”
No one spoke while I pondered.
“On one hand, I’m not too worried because he underestimates me and he doesn’t know I’m armed,” I thought out loud. “…but he’s a fucking big bastard, so if he gets physical I’ll have to pull my gun. And he’d report that to Parr if I let him live. But it’d blow my cover if he turned up dead…”
“So maybe… yeah,” I finished. “I don’t want anybody within visual range, but if you can be in the general vicinity, that would be good. I’ll leave my phone line open. If you hear anything going wrong over the phone or if you lose the connection, you could show up ‘coincidentally’. I’d rather have him think I have to depend on you to rescue me.”
Kane eased back in his chair, relaxing. “That’s a good idea. If I have to make an appearance, you can pretend you were meeting me to talk about Yana’s luggage.”
“That’ll work.” I gave him a smile.
“Very well.” Stemp rose. “We’ll leave it there for now. We can strategize more effectively once you meet with Barnett tonight and find out what Fuzzy Bunny’s next demand will be.” He fixed Spider with a reptilian eye. “Have you determined a way that Ms. Mellor and Kelly can work simultaneously in the network without exchanging memories?”
“Yeah, I think so,” Spider mumbled.
“Good. Brief Kane and Kelly, and then you can all go back to your regular decryptions this afternoon. Germain, please join me in my office for a briefing on your next assignment.”
Germain stood and the two men strode out.
As soon as they cleared the doorway, I leaned closer to speak softly to Spider. “What’s up? Is something wrong?”
“No…” He sighed. “Well… yeah, kind of. I just…” His long fingers worried at his shirt cuff. “It’s this thing with Tammy.” He twisted the cuff button back and forth, not looking at me. “I’m not controlling her directly, but… I might as well be. I’m the team lead. That makes it my responsibility.” He hesitated. “I mean, you know, morally.”
“Um.” I shot a look at Kane, hoping he’d contribute something useful.
He dropped his gaze to frown at his toes. Damn.
“I don’t know what to say, Spider,” I said. “I understand what you mean, but it’s…”
Shit, do not blurt out ‘better than what Stemp wants me to do’.
“…um, she wouldn’t object if she knew about it,” I said instead. “Remember, I’ve been in her mind. She’s happy to help, and it wouldn’t bother her a bit even if she knew she was being controlled.”
“Really?” A faint flush of hope stained Spider’s cheeks as he looked up.
“Yeah, really.”
“Oh.” The word came out on a gust of breath as he leaned back in his chair. “Oh, good.” He sat still for a moment as if thinking it over, then straightened, his usual buoyant smile returning. “Thanks, Aydan, that really helps. Do you want to go over my idea for the network now?”
I glanced at my watch. “Can we do it after lunch? I’m starving.”
“No problem.” He bounced to his feet. “I’m going to go and call Linda. She was worried when I was so down in the dumps this morning.”
I eased out a secret breath of relief. “I’m glad you’re feeling better. Say hi to Linda.”
“I will.” He hurried out, smiling.
After he disappeared, I sank back with a sigh.
“You handled that well.” Kane’s deep baritone warmed me.
I met his smile with a rueful one of my own. “If only all moral dilemmas were so easily resolved.”
“True.” He chuckled, then sobered, assessing me. “Was that more than a rhetorical comment?”
“N…” I thought about it for a moment. “Actually, yeah, I guess it was…” I glanced at my watch. “Do you have time to walk over to the Melted Spoon for a sandwich? I’m stiffening up after all that exercise this morning, and I could use some fresh air.”
�
�Sounds good.” He rose. “Let’s go.”
Strolling down the sidewalk beside Kane a few minutes later, I rolled my neck and shoulders and drew a deep breath of bright cold air. I wasn’t quite sure how to broach my question…
“Loosening up?” Kane asked.
“Yeah, a little. I think I’ll be stiff tomorrow, though.”
He walked on in silence for a moment before shooting me a sidelong glance. “So how did it go?”
I shook myself out of my abstraction. “Um, what?”
“Your qualification tests. How did they go?”
“Oh. Fine. I passed both.”
His brow furrowed. “I thought you were taking three.”
“No, just fitness and firearms.”
“But Germain said he was doing your hand-to-hand this morning.”
“Um.” My steps slowed and I glanced around us. No pedestrians were within earshot, but I leaned a little closer anyway. “I’m not doing the hand-to-hand. And it’s on my record that I don’t have any martial arts skills.”
He stopped to frown down at me. “Aydan, I saw you…”
“No, you didn’t.” I held up a silencing hand when he tried to speak. “Really, you didn’t. It was just a freak accident. Think back to what you saw. Every detail.”
His gaze flicked into middle distance, his brows still drawn together while he reviewed the scene. “Yana stepped into the cabin and raised the weapon. I didn’t realize what it was until Thomas dropped dead. She swung it around to aim at you and I jumped her at the same time you hit the floor. Her accomplice ran in from the rear cabin and she yelled at him to get you. You were rolling to your feet. You ducked under his arm and got behind him and broke his neck.”
I hissed a breath of frustration between my teeth. “No, I didn’t. You were dealing with Yana, so you only saw me moving and then when you looked up again he was dead. I got him in an arm-bar hold and tore something in his arm. Then he tripped and couldn’t save himself with his bad arm. His head got caught between two seats and he broke his own neck when his body fell.”
Kane stared at me in silence for a moment. “I suppose that’s what you told Stemp,” he said at length.
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