What was it that made her such a puzzle? He sipped his coffee and pondered. She was confident—at least, he assumed it took confidence to rock black leather and thigh-high boots when surrounded by women wearing knee-length skirts, low-heeled pumps and pearls. Either she didn’t feel the need to fit in or she liked to make a statement. He stared into his cup, thinking about the past weekend. For someone so self-assured, Crystal sure did have a lot of people watching her back. The girl from Come Again, Destiny, had threatened his balls in the receiving line in a tone of voice that made him dead certain she knew how to do things to the male anatomy that most people had never considered. Mark’s wife, Alisa, had clearly been concerned for her friend, and Crystal’s hot blond date at the wedding last night had given him the once-over so hard he still felt like he had something to prove. If Crystal was so secure, why did she need so many protectors?
He grabbed another piece of bacon and went into the bedroom to retrieve his cell phone. Mark was either in the air or in an airport. No harm in giving it a shot. He dialed.
Just when he thought it was going to voicemail, Mark picked up. “You better have a good reason for interrupting my shot at the Mile High Club, buddy.”
“Screw you. Your cell phone would be off if you were in the air. I’ve got a question.”
Mark laughed. “Shoot.”
“Does Crystal LaRusso sleep around?”
Silence. “Hang on,” he said.
Ryan heard talking in the background, then a loud, female exclamation.
“What the hell kind of question is that?” Alisa blasted in his ear.
“Hey, now, settle down. I’m not trying to be an asshole. Crystal just left me all by my lonesome in a beautiful hotel room with eight different breakfast choices spread out on the table. She said she was just here for one night of sex. I don’t buy it, and I was just looking for another opinion.”
“Huh,” she grunted, sounding appeased.
“Exactly. I’m looking for information. Are you going to give it to me?”
“Nope,” she said.
Ryan sighed.
Mark came back on the line. “The answer is no. She doesn’t sleep around. To the best of my knowledge, Crystal doesn’t even sleep with men.”
“Good to know.” She hadn’t been lying about that, at least.
“You’re still thinking about that drunken orgy in the frat house, aren’t you? That was a long time ago—”
“No, I don’t give a shit about that anymore.” Ryan felt something break loose inside him and drift away.
“Good.” Alisa’s voice rose in the background. “Listen, buddy, they just called our flight. I wish I could help you more, but I don’t know Crystal all that well. She keeps to herself. Alisa knows her a lot better, but I’m on my honeymoon. I love you, man, but don’t ask me to piss off my wife right now. Oh, and Alisa says to tell you she’ll kill you if you hurt Crystal.”
“Thanks, man. Tell her I got the message. Is it all right with you if I use your office while you’re gone?”
“No problem. Make yourself at home. I’ll let my assistant know to expect you.”
“Thanks, bro. I appreciate it. Have a good time.”
Ryan ended the call and tossed his cell phone onto the bed. It was just as he had suspected. Crystal’s words didn’t match her actions, although she hadn’t exactly lied. If she didn’t make a habit of spending the night, then staying for breakfast wouldn’t be a frequent option. He felt a smile spread across his face as he stretched out and tucked his hands behind his head. Was Crystal brave—or full of bravado? After a little nap, he’d go looking for another piece of the puzzle.
Chapter Eight
Crystal entered the shop by the back door Monday morning and found Bonita waiting for her. “I’m hoping you have a damn good reason for not calling me back all day yesterday.”
“I don’t.” She could evade, but she wasn’t going to lie. “I just wasn’t up for chatting.”
She’d slept for a long time. She never took clients on Sundays, so her time was her own, but for once she hadn’t relished her solitude. She would have loved to talk to Bonita, but she felt she’d imposed on her enough. Alisa had left for Hawaii. That left her with Destiny, who was going to get a huge piece of her mind the next time she saw her.
She could feel Bonita’s cool green eyes taking her measure. “Do you have many clients today? Destiny has the day off, and I could use you on the floor.”
Crystal shook her head, still avoiding her eyes. “I cancelled all my clients.”
“Why?”
“I can’t control my head.” She made a face. “No teleporting as of yet, but every time I open up, I clobber myself with lust, anger or fear.” And loneliness. Don’t forget that one. “I spent yesterday trying to get a grip, but I’m a train wreck. Thank God Ryan left town. I’m hoping if I ignore my emotions, they’ll settle down and I’ll get back to normal.”
“I’ve got bad news for you, sweetie.”
Crystal swiveled around.
“Ryan was in here yesterday, and he left that for you.” Bonita pointed at the counter. Crystal walked over to examine the orchid. The dead-looking stalk held a single extravagantly pink bloom.
“Did he say anything?” she asked.
“He said he’d be back. He didn’t say when.” Bonita considerately kept the pity out of her voice. “There’s a note.”
Crystal picked up the tiny florist envelope and opened it. Special. Rare. Real. She groaned. “I’m afraid I’m gonna need that baseball bat.”
“At the very least,” Bonita agreed, heading for her office, leaving Crystal to stare at the orchid. It bore an uncanny resemblance to the one on her shoulder, and she was sure that was intentional. Where the hell had Ryan found it? Wegmans didn’t carry this variety. A sigh huffed out of her lungs, startling her.
She closed her eyes, focusing inward. A second later, she had something else to fear. She opened her eyes and glared at the orchid. There it was again—a flash of anticipation. A flare of hope. How was she supposed to fight that? Fear was so much easier.
She picked up the flower, but she couldn’t bring herself to drop it in the trash. Instead, she carried it to her office before returning to the register to open the shop for the day. So she missed him—big deal. The connection between them, however special, rare and real it might be, was not worth risking everything valuable in her life. Her renegade emotions didn’t change her present circumstances, and they couldn’t change the past. It was better to salvage what she had—her sanity and a successful career. No matter what Ryan had said, he wouldn’t stick around Norton forever, especially if she refused to see him. She would stay the course until he returned to his life in California and left her alone.
Even without looking inward, she felt despair drag at her heart. Oh, hell. This would have been a whole lot easier if he hadn’t told her he’d called the frat house. That fact made her heart feel like a fresh bruise. So what if he had cared enough to call? It hadn’t taken much to drive him away. She could do it again—and when he was gone, she’d be glad.
She looked down at her crossed arms. Her jaw felt wired shut, her lips were pressed into a firm line and her eyes were burning. Her shoulders were so tense, they hovered near her ears. If she were a client, this would be the moment when she would say Really? Are you sure about that?
Yes, damn it. She took a deep breath and emptied her mind of all thoughts. She built a solid wall around her emotions. Impervious. Comforting. Her nerves calmed. There, that was better.
When the front door opened and the bell tinkled, she was able to look up with a smile, but Ryan’s answering grin shook her. He had a coffee in one hand, another orchid balanced under his arm and a laptop bag over his shoulder. He walked up to the counter and set the coffee, another hot mocha, in front of her. He placed the orchid next to it. Frozen, she stared at the dozens of tiny yellow flowers that looked like diminutive baby butterflies hovering in the branches of a Charlie Brown tree. It
was beautiful. He dug into his pocket and she heard a rattle.
He lined up a third item on the counter.
“Ibuprofen?”
“You keep saying I give you a headache.”
His thoughtfulness made her tremble. “I haven’t changed my mind, Ryan.”
He nodded. “I haven’t changed mine, either. I’m not going anywhere. I’d love to take you out for dinner tonight.”
She shook her head.
“Lunch?”
“No thank you.”
He sighed. “Okay, then. You know where I’m staying.” He leaned across the counter and kissed her cheek. Her wall remained intact, which meant the loneliness she felt was her own.
When he reached the door, she took a breath. “Wait, how long are you staying?”
Ryan looked over his shoulder and his grin was a lit match dropped at her feet. “As long as it takes.”
The door to Come Again closed behind him. Ryan kept walking, down the street, past the coffee shop. He had given his card to the owner when he picked up Crystal’s mocha. Since he was going to be in Norton for a while, there was no reason not to do what he did best—build a business.
He nodded at the florist arranging buckets of flowers on the corner of Mark’s block, but he didn’t stop to chat again. His order was all set. A month’s worth of rare orchids would arrive, and the florist had promised to tend them. Ryan would pick one up every morning and take it to Come Again.
He also planned to wait for Crystal to emerge from the shop after work every day. He figured the three-hour time difference between New York and California would give him hours to explore the downtown area. Just yesterday, he’d discovered several intriguing art galleries with upcoming exhibits and quite a few bars with live music. Crystal had said no to lunch and dinner, but maybe he could tempt her with art and music. He hoped if her day began and ended with him, maybe she would let him share the middle too.
He hadn’t found any more pieces to the Crystal puzzle at Come Again yesterday afternoon. Bonita and Destiny had formed a stone wall cockblock that was both friendly and impenetrable. He wasn’t getting to her through them. Fine with him. He preferred the direct approach anyway. Either he would wear Crystal down or she would have him arrested for stalking.
He entered the revolving door to Mark’s building and took the elevator to the SoloPlay offices. He had met Jessica, Mark’s assistant, at the wedding, so it didn’t feel strange to commandeer his office. He set up his laptop and began his morning routine. He could carry on with his business indefinitely from Norton, but he hoped Crystal caved sooner rather than later. He wouldn’t drop a ball or miss a meeting, but he felt empty inside in a place he hadn’t known he had. Work was simple, but his heart might become a problem.
At the end of her shift, Crystal looked through the front window and saw Ryan standing at the curb, leaning against that ridiculously sexy car. She left through the back exit, even though her own car was parked out front. Cowardly? Yes. Necessary? Even more so.
She didn’t feel like going home to more solitude. Instead, she took the train to Downtown, hoping to find Destiny, who usually spent her off hours there, helping her boyfriend Johnny run the bar. Crystal was looking for peace and quiet, although she didn’t want to be alone. Those in the Lifestyle tended to be very considerate of boundaries, both physical and mental. The Dominants controlled their emotions as a matter of course, and the submissives were naturally respectful. At Downtown and Upstairs, no one tried to rattle her cage.
Mac lowered his shades as she entered the vestibule. The big bouncer took her ID but he didn’t take his eyes off her boots. “That is a very pretty pink,” he said.
She dipped her shoulder toward him. “Matches my tattoo. I couldn’t resist. Is Destiny here?” she asked.
He nodded and handed her driver’s license back to her. “At the bar. Have fun.”
She reached out to tug one of his copper dreadlocks. “Did you ask him out yet?”
Mac growled, “Quit it, Crystal. I didn’t invite you into my head.”
“Just asking.”
Mac crossed his arms over his bare chest. “Not gonna happen.”
The edge of his emotions beckoned to her, but she wasn’t going to go there. He was right. He hadn’t invited her. “Chicken.” She blew him a kiss and walked into the bar.
She scanned the room, immediately spotting Destiny at the bar. She also spotted the object of Mac’s affection in the sub corner, trying to pretend like he hadn’t just snuck a peek at the bouncer who was pointedly not looking into the bar. Those two were nuts.
Crystal made her way to the circular bar and sat on the stool next to Destiny. “I have a bone to pick with you.”
Destiny shut her newspaper. “Oh, goody.”
“You should have warned me Ryan was my four-thirty consult the other day. Don’t even try to pretend you didn’t know it was him. I could tell something was up.”
Destiny grinned. “He begged me not to tell you.”
Crystal dropped her head into her hands. Of course Destiny hadn’t been able to resist him. Her weakness for curly-haired blond men was the stuff of legends at Downtown.
Crystal heard Johnny’s voice above her. “Man, you should have seen it. She was about thirty seconds away from putting him on his knees in the receiving line. Gave me a hard-on.” She looked up and Johnny cocked an eyebrow at her, pointing at the shot of tequila in front of Destiny.
Crystal shuddered, so he set a glass of water on the bar instead.
“A little warning would have been appreciated,” Crystal said.
“Sorry about that. He seemed like a nice guy, and I figured we’d catch up with you at the reception.”
Crystal felt her cheeks flush. They hadn’t stayed at the reception long enough to catch up with anybody.
Destiny gave her an apologetic smile. “Just so you know, we didn’t tell him a thing when he came into the shop yesterday. What’s the story with him?” She made a shooing motion at her boyfriend. “Beat it, Johnny. Girl talk.”
He fixed her with a piercing look. “Just so you know, you’re going to pay for that later.” They shared a look before Johnny headed for the other side of the bar and Destiny turned back to Crystal. “Spill it.”
If anybody could understand her emotional pickle it was Destiny, the badass Domme who only switched for Johnny, but Crystal had come here to be left alone. “I really don’t want to hash it over again.”
“Just hit me with the salient details and I’ll quit bugging you,” Destiny promised.
Crystal crossed her arms. “No more meddling?”
“Cross my heart.”
That made it worth a brief discussion. If Ryan came by the shop again, she might need Destiny for cover. “I can’t block him.”
“That’s a bad thing?”
“It is when I can’t work. Every time I open up with a client, I get clobbered by my own damn emotions. I can’t think straight.” She also couldn’t stop thinking about him.
Destiny looked like she was trying not to laugh. “Now you know what it’s like for the rest of the world, those of us without the benefit of your emotional compass.”
“Benefit?”
“Yes, benefit. Most people live in doubt and mystery, second-guessing themselves and other people. You don’t have to do that. You always know how everybody feels, and don’t try to pretend it doesn’t make your life easier. You get to coast along in your safe little bubble, watching the rest of us drown in our emotional swamps. I don’t hold it against you, but it’s hard to feel sorry for you.”
Crystal absorbed her words and the emotion behind them before she even realized what she was doing. “Damn it.” Destiny wasn’t trying to be a bitch. She’d said it as nicely as her straightforward personality would allow. And she was right. “I have no idea how I feel about Ryan.”
“If you don’t know how you feel about him, it’s because you don’t want to know.” Destiny met her gaze without backing down an inch.
“Right?”
Crystal took a deep breath. “Maybe.”
Destiny glanced across the bar at Johnny. He turned around, as if he had felt her gaze caressing him, and Crystal acknowledged a sharp thrust of envy at the bond between them.
Destiny turned back to her. “Change isn’t always bad. I survived.”
“It’s a little different for me,” Crystal reminded her.
“Let me ask you this. Are you happy? Not now—I mean generally speaking. Do you live your life full of butterflies and glee?”
Nope, not even close. She lived her life in the eye of the storm, trying to avoid extremes. “I don’t want butterflies. I want balance.”
“Balance is for wimps. You are not a wimp.” Destiny stood. “C’mon, let’s go Upstairs and find some action. I’ll even top a girl tonight out of solidarity.”
Crystal didn’t move. The idea held zero appeal.
Destiny gave her a pat on the shoulder. “Just checking.” She dropped back down on her stool.
Crystal reached across the bar and dragged Destiny’s tequila shot toward her. She took a sniff, then knocked it back. She looked at Destiny. “Are you happy?”
“Joyous.” Destiny’s grin was backed up by a flash of wicked exuberance. “Join me on the bright side.”
Did staying balanced mean she would always be alone? For the first time since she had started feeling other people’s emotions, she wasn’t sure staying shielded was going to solve her problems. But the prospect of doing anything else scared her to death.
Chapter Nine
Ryan jumped as his car door opened, hoping it was finally Crystal, throwing him a bone.
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