by Rachel Jonas
“Find a seat where you can,” she laughed, “and I’ll be whipping up more while you all eat, so bear with me.”
I accepted my plate and thanked her before turning to search for a seat. Preferably two seats, so Liam could sit with me.
I still hadn’t quite warmed up to them yet—to my brothers who seemed so close to one another while I still felt like an outsider. Standing there, holding my plate, it was like the first day of school all over again. It was like that dreaded moment when lunchtime finally came and it was thrown in your face that you didn’t quite fit in.
Only, it didn’t go quite like that.
From the table, a large hand lifted into the air, waving Liam and I over. He went right away, but I was slower to move. Nervous to move.
Ivan grinned big as he brought a half-full glass of orange juice to his lips. When he lowered it, the grin only grew. We approached, and before Liam had the chance to pull my seat out, it was nudged from beneath the table by Ivan’s foot. On the one hand, it was sweet he bothered, but on the other it was totally something a sibling would do—a halfhearted gesture I still considered kind.
Yeah, I was a girl, but to him I was mostly just a sister.
Sensing how comfortable he felt around me, I smiled. Seemed I was the only one nervous about interacting.
I sat and he promptly zeroed back in on his pancakes.
“Did you sleep well?” he asked in a deep, booming tenor, a voice wrapped in the rich undertones of an accent that didn’t sound so peculiar anymore. “I hope we didn’t disturb you.”
He was so polite, almost proper. I imagined Liam used to speak with the same old-timey quality to his voice, but it had likely faded with time, with how much he traveled and experienced. At the thought of what it would have been like to know him in his prime, I smiled.
“I slept okay,” I said, answering Ivan’s question. I sounded so timid. Hopefully, he didn’t notice.
“Things can get somewhat rambunctious when we’re left to our own devices,” he added, still chewing. “It didn’t help that Mother shared quite the story about you while she prepared this meal.”
I paused with my fork halfway to my lips. “About … me? What kind of story?”
In my head, I imagined the many faux pas I had over the months and wondered how embarrassed I should be.
Had she told them I had to be taught how to fly again?
Or how I nearly passed out from the pain of shifting into my wolf for the first time?
I was certain she hadn’t shared any of these experiences for the purpose of humiliating me, but what was cute and entertaining to Elise, was potentially devastating for me.
My stare was glued to Ivan while he swallowed another load of food he’d stuffed in his mouth.
“Well,” he sighed with a coy grin, wiping his mouth before continuing. “According to our mother, you went up against the Sovereign and his men on your own.”
My stomach sank when I realized the inkling of fear wasn’t warranted. This was the information Elise divulged.
Ivan’s gaze lifted to Liam for a moment before coming back to me.
“To save him,” Ivan added.
I swallowed before answering. “He would’ve done the same for me,” I said, amending the statement right after. “Actually, he did do the same for me. The Sovereign only captured him because he offered his life in exchange for mine.” I glanced toward Liam while still responding to Ivan. “If he hadn’t acted to save me, I never would’ve gotten away.”
It was still difficult to talk about, especially seeing as how Liam was still suffering the consequences.
I lowered my eyes to my plate, suddenly less hungry than a moment ago.
“She’s as fearless as ever,” Liam cut in, placing his hand discreetly on my thigh. His touch always comforted me.
“Fearless,” Ivan echoed, wearing a smile when he addressed Liam again. “Still against your will, I assume?”
Liam didn’t hesitate to nod. “As if you even have to ask.”
Clearly, my brothers remembered me as being defiant. Perhaps much hadn’t changed in that respect.
Ivan’s brow quirked when he remembered something and looked to me. “And your training is tonight, correct?”
I came this close to lying, for fear of where this conversation might lead.
“… Yeah,” I answered reluctantly.
“A few of us will likely be attending as well,” he shared, having no idea how much I didn’t want that.
I had nothing against them being present. It’s just that training was my place to learn, to mess up without fear of being judged. But it was one thing messing up in front of others who didn’t quite have their footing either, others who only knew me as the inexperienced girl who shifted at the same time as everyone else.
It was another to look like a buffoon in front of those who vividly recalled me at the height of power.
I hadn’t realized how awkward I was behaving until Ivan stopped eating, lowering his fork a bit.
“Unless … that’s not what you want,” he amended, his tone coming across as sympathetic and, right away, I felt like a douchebag for making him feel bad.
Liam must’ve seen me floundering and interjected. “That’d be perfect. I was thinking about hanging back to discuss something with Hilda and Elise later anyway.”
I glanced toward Liam. This was the first I heard of him needing to speak with them in private, but then I focused again, responding to Ivan.
“No, it’s fine if you come,” I rambled. “It’s not that I don’t want you all there. It’s just that …”
I couldn’t get the truth to come out—that I was afraid they might laugh or think I was about as graceful as a fawn on ice. However, I didn’t have to say it, because Ivan took the words right out my mouth.
“Is it because you’re different?” he asked.
I stared at the glass of orange juice Hilda set down in front of me before making her way back to the stove where she now helped Elise.
“I um—”
My eyes shifted toward Liam when I couldn’t put into words how I felt. He passed a gentle smile my way, similar to the one he used to flash when I was just getting to know Elise. It was a smile that let me know it was okay to open up, okay to trust.
A warm hand to my shoulder turned my attention toward Ivan at the feel of it. Facing him, I found it so strange how similar his features were to my own. His, perhaps, more than the others. Staring at him was like staring into the eyes of a male replica of myself—from his dark, coiled hair, to the mellow brown of his skin and eyes. I relaxed a bit, aware of our being related even if I didn’t remember him.
“Mother explained everything last night. Your dilemma,” he clarified, reminding me. “We’d actually like to help if we can.”
The offer was sweet, and I appreciated it, but I had this image in my head of getting knocked onto the mat over and over again while shifters like Beth made combat look easy.
But I said nothing.
He set his fork down completely and I had his full attention. “Evangeline, from what we were told about your journey to face Sebastian, everyone here has one feeling and one feeling only toward you,” he said, holding my gaze. “We respect you.”
That word resonated within me, causing me to breathe in as it echoed in my thoughts.
Respect.
They respected me.
“You went up against an entire army, knowing you aren’t as capable as you used to be,” he went on. “But you did it to save Liam.”
I blinked, remembering how little I thought about my actions that day.
“I’ve known you all my life, Evangeline,” he said with a smile. “And that was the most courageous thing you’ve ever done.”
Warmth blossomed in my cheeks and I smiled again. “Thank you.”
He smiled back before shoveling another heap of pancakes into his mouth.
Beside me, Liam had seemingly zoned out listening to my conversation with Ivan.
I imagined it was still hard for him to be reminded of the danger I put myself in on his behalf.
But … as treacherous as that journey was, I’d do it all over again if I had to.
***
Liam
The house was eerily quiet since the others left, making the conversation at hand feel that much more sinister. Evangeline’s training would last an hour or two, finally providing the opening I’d been waiting for. I’d put off speaking to Elise and Hilda regarding my plan, but we were nearly out of time now.
Hilda had already made it clear over the past week that she said all she needed to concerning the matter. She was dead-set against it, believing I would only end up breaking Evangeline’s heart in the end. What she failed to realize was, that was the exact outcome I hoped to avoid. If there was some way to do that without the risky transformation back into a dragon, then I was open to hearing it.
However, Hilda knew like I did, there was no other option.
I prepared myself ahead of time, knowing this wouldn’t go over well with Elise either. But with my thoughts toward this option—the only one I had—becoming more solid with each passing day, I couldn’t put it off any longer.
I paced, struggling to gather thoughts and words I thought I’d already sorted hours ago. But here in the thick of it, nothing came to me, nothing that captured my true feelings.
The last thing I wanted was for my intentions to be misinterpreted. This decision wasn’t some half-cocked plan conjured by an inflated ego and testosterone. This had nothing to do with me being a man, but had everything to do with one woman—mine.
I was desperate and could only hope they saw through to the heart of the matter. Me being human put Evangeline in more danger than any other threats we faced combined. It only added to the list of pros that I would, once again, be in a position to protect her, protect our family, if I was my true self again.
Just as I opened my mouth to speak, Hilda shot me another look, one that conveyed exactly how displeased she was that I hadn’t let this go since our talk. I ignored the icy glare, though; had to if I was ever going to get my point across.
“I’ve come up with a partial solution to our dilemma,” I sighed, piquing Elise’s interest right away. “I’m aware of how vulnerable we are, and there’s something I’d like you to consider.”
That’s where I stopped.
The words got stuck and when I faltered a bit, Hilda did nothing to hide the grin on her face. I looked away, focusing on Elise again.
Breathing deep, I went on. “I’m no good to anyone like this. I’m weak, a liability instead of an asset,” I explained.
My thoughts flickered to all the times me being like this had put Evangeline in harm’s way over the past couple months. I could only guess what the future would hold. If any of us were being honest, we knew it would only get worse.
Elise’s eyes softened. “I don’t like when you speak of yourself in this way. You’re as much an asset as anyone else.”
Her attempt toward changing my mind was kind, but … it was wrong. I was sure that, if it came down to it, Evangeline wouldn’t be the only member of this household who would endanger their own life to save mine. I couldn’t live that way.
I needed to just say it, blurt my suggestion before I lost the nerve. So, that’s exactly what I did.
“I want you to help me,” I said in a rush. “Magic isn’t an option, so I need you to … turn me.”
Agony.
That’s essentially what I was asking of Elise. In order for her to turn me like she’d turned the children of Ars-en-Ré, I would have to be burned alive before she could bring me back. It was unthinkable, yes.
But it was the only way.
“Are you … are you serious?” she shrieked, standing from her seat at the dining room table. My feet stopped when she stood in front of me.
“Absolutely not.” The words left her mouth with such conviction.
“Elise, we’re—”
“Ab-so-lute-ly not,” she repeated, this time breaking the statement down to syllables, like I was a child. “Do you have any idea what that would require?”
I breathed deep, nodding. “Of course I do.”
“Then why on Earth would you even—”
“Because it’s the only way!” A breath hitched in Elise’s throat when my voice thundered through the room.
She froze, staring as we both heaved, short of breath and rattled for two very different reasons. The cause of her distress: the thought of losing me. Mine: the thought of losing her daughter.
Suppressing a frustrated grunt, I tightened my fists.
“Tell me you don’t see it coming from a mile away,” I pleaded. “Tell me you don’t see Evangeline, the daughter you love and fought so hard to bring back, eventually diving straight off a cliff thinking it’s what she has to do in order to save me,” I seethed. “Make me that promise and I’ll drop the whole thing.”
Elise’s otherwise pale cheeks flushed red, the rims of her nostrils flaring at the thought.
“Liam, I am many things, but before any of them I’m a mother. And despite my blood not coursing through your veins, you’re my son. Whether you like it or not at the moment. You cannot ask me to choose to endanger your life, all with lofty hopes that you’ll survive it.” She was nearly panting with frustration when she stepped closer.
“And let’s say you do survive the transformation. Liam … you were born dragon,” she reasoned. “The children I turned were only human. Who’s to say that doesn’t matter? Who’s to say the dragon DNA already within you won’t somehow make you different? Uncontrollable even,” she suggested.
Her eyes softened when she took another step in my direction, placing a hand on my cheek when she said more. “Your sole purpose for even considering this is to protect Evangeline. Why can’t you see that this … ‘plan’ of yours has the potential to do exactly the opposite?”
I sighed, knowing everything she said had some semblance of truth within it, but—
“The answer is no.”
There was no questioning if her conclusion was final. Even with her gaze full of compassion, she was firm on this decision.
Her steps echoed through the foyer as she traipsed toward the stairs. I stood there, feeling like my heart had been ripped from my chest, my only hope shot down in an instant.
The sound of Hilda’s chair moving across the wood grated my nerves, causing my fists to tighten again. I was fully prepared for her to gloat after Elise had all but sided with her, but she didn’t. Maybe she knew how badly this stung, how hopeless I felt, because she simply retreated to her own room.
I was left standing there. Alone, powerless—both feelings weighing down on me more than they ever had in my entire life.
The flicker of hope I managed to cling to these past few weeks had just been snuffed out.
And there was absolutely nothing I could do about it.
Chapter Eighteen
Evie
They watched from the sidelines. All six of my brothers, not just Ivan.
My heart thundered inside my chest and I hadn’t even started training yet. I’d gotten worked up just at the idea of them coming tonight. Especially seeing as how this was the first session I’d been to in a while. Sitting with Liam through his recovery had been priority number one. Now, as a result, they’d all get to watch me make a huge idiot of myself.
Not even the danger of someone figuring out they didn’t belong could keep them home. It was Hilda who reminded them over and over that they should stay in, keep a low profile, but they wouldn’t hear of it. She warned that, if their identities were somehow revealed, if it became apparent that they were hybrids brought back using restorative magic … there would be hell to pay.
However, with a bit of encouragement from Dallas, and a timely reminder that this town was jam packed with tons of new shifters anyway, the decision was made.
And now, a brood resembling the defensive line of a pro football team stood behind m
e as I walked to the mat where we would be paired up, where I’d make a fool of myself shortly.
Yup … good times.
To my left, a blonde ponytail bobbed as Beth rushed in, breathing like she’d run the whole way. My face lit up, knowing her presence would quell at least some of my nervous energy.
She smiled and posted beside me when Dallas leveled a glare her way for just barely slipping in on time.
“Where were you?” I whispered, nudging her when I leaned in.
She took a breath first, glancing toward Dallas again before answering, “Clan stuff. My mom and I had to see the Elders today.”
The only time I’d known anyone to meet with the Elders was either when someone had done something wrong, or when they, or the entire clan, faced danger.
“Why’d they send for you?”
She shook her head. “They didn’t. My mom actually arranged it.”
Tuning Dallas’ instructions out, I focused on Beth when she said more.
“Things have been … weird lately. My mom’s our pack alpha, but the balance has been off at home since we got back,” she shared. “Usually, I can feel that she’s ranked above me. I know that sounds weird, but that’s the only way I can explain it. But she says the same thing’s been going on with my uncle and Roz.”
‘Weird’ was a relative phrase these days. And plus, without a pack of my own, I couldn’t have related.
“Has that ever happened before?” I said close to her ear.
Her head shook. “No. Never. Which was why we went to see the Elders.”
We paused our quiet conversation a moment when Dallas passed a warning glare our way. However, as soon as he turned to address the crowd again, we finished.
“Apparently, there have been other reports of what the Elders referred to as ‘stratum deviation’.”
I stared. She said that like I actually knew what it meant.
With a quiet laugh, she broke it down for those of us who weren’t privy to the knowledge her parents passed down to her.
“In short, she’s no longer my alpha, but I’m not hers either,” she stated, adding, “… yet.”