“I’m supposed to be.”
“Well, you’re not.”
We fell into silence again, drinking from our glasses. “You didn’t put on underwear, did you?”
“I guess I forgot.”
The waitress came with the first course then, and we ate. I changed the subject to safer topics—work, Italy, sharing pictures of Charlie, the puppy Raphael had given Sofia on her first day in Italy, who’d grown into a formidable protector of Sofia. I talked about anything and everything but us.
When the waitress came to clear and asked about dessert, we both declined. I paid the bill, and we got up to leave.
“Want to go for a walk on the beach?” I asked, putting off the inevitable.
“No.”
I studied her face in the streetlight. “Lina—”
She put her finger over my lips. “Stop.”
I took her slim wrist in my hand and drew it away, wrapping my other arm around her middle and pulling her close. “One night,” I said against her lips. “Just one night.” It would be the biggest mistake of my life, but I couldn’t resist anymore. I wanted her. I wanted her more than I’d ever wanted anything in my life.
“One night,” Lina repeated, returning the kiss, her lips soft against mine.
We didn’t speak again, not as we walked, not when we got into the hotel or rode the elevator up. Not when I slid the key into the door and we were inside, where I took her into my arms and kissed her, pressed her against the door, and crushed my body against hers
“One night,” I repeated as if that would make this any less wrong.
She kissed me back, and I pulled the clip out of her hair, sending still damp waves tumbling down her back. I wound my fingers through it, drew her head back, tugging a little harder than I needed to as I looked at her face. Her beautiful, open face. Watched as her eyes teared up at the pressure of my hand in her hair. I unzipped her dress and let it drop to the floor.
I looked her over, standing naked before me but for those pink sandals. Shifting my gaze around the room, I walked her over to the desk and turned her to face it. “Hands stay here.” I leaned her forward, placed her hands down on the desktop, and pulled her hair to turn her face to mine. Kissing her hard on the mouth, I met her gaze in the reflection of the floor-to-ceiling window, which now acted as a mirror.
“Down.” I moved behind her, pushing her forward with a hand between her shoulder blades, then kicked her legs apart. “Legs wide. I want to see your ass.”
Standing behind her, I looked down at her prone body, then glanced at our reflection, watching her watch me. Watch us.
My cock pressed like a steel bar as I moved behind her, stripping off my shirt and tossing it aside before gripping her ass cheeks, kneading them, drawing them apart to expose her to me.
After one more glance at our reflection, I knelt behind her, keeping her spread wide.
Lina arched her back, offering herself to me. And fuck if I wouldn’t take what she offered. What I so badly wanted.
“Your cunt is wet, Lina.”
She made a sound as I brought my face to her, inhaling her scent before licking the length of her, from her clit, over the folds of her pussy, to her ass, circling that tight ring, making her gasp before sliding it back to her cunt. Her scent, her taste, they were addictive. Like a fucking drug. Like my perfect drug. She made me mad, insane with hunger, and I ravished her. I licked her pussy and sucked her clit and tickled her asshole until her knees gave out. Lina pressed herself against my face. I pushed one finger into her ass. She moaned, a sound from deep within her, soft and desperate as she came on my tongue.
I needed to fuck her. Christ. I was going to blow in my jeans if I didn’t fuck her right fucking now.
When she straightened her knees, I stood, my finger still inside her ass as I turned her to face me, making her grind her ultra-sensitive, post orgasm clit against my jeans. Lifting her, I carried her to the bed and lay her down. I drew my finger out, watching her face as I did so, knowing from the look on it that she liked it, that she’d come if I fucked her in the ass. But that wasn’t for tonight. And right now, I couldn’t think that this would be our only night.
“You’re so fucking beautiful.” I stood watching her for a long minute, looking at her dilated pupils as she reached for me. After stripping off my jeans, I took a condom out of my wallet and rolled it over my cock, then pushed her knees apart and climbed between them.
“You want me to fuck you hard or soft?” I asked, kissing her, then kneeling up to hold her legs wide.
“Hard and soft.”
I grinned. I could do that. I brought my cock to her pussy, and she bit her lip as I slid into her tight passage. Not a virgin, but tight as hell.
“Fuck, Lina.” I groaned, closing my eyes to feel her for a minute before drawing back to pump slowly, at first, gripping her hip with one hand and running the other over her belly, her breast, pinching her nipples. Watching her take the pain as I did. Liking the look on her face, knowing it made the pleasure that much more intense as I began to thrust slow but deep.
Pushing her leg wide, I lay my weight on her and closed my other hand around the back of her head, gripping her hair.
“I like my cock in your tight cunt.” I pulled her hair and drew back, thrusting harder, knowing I’d hit that special spot when she closed her eyes and bit her lip, letting out a moan. I watched her, fucking her harder, feeling her fingernails digging into my shoulders as I took her, claimed her, made her mine. When she opened her eyes, she kissed me, biting my lip as she did, a drop of crimson marring her perfect mouth.
“Damon…this feels…so good.”
Lifting myself a little, I flipped her over onto her belly and hauled her hips up, pushing her head down. I thrust in to the hilt as I twisted her hair, turning her so I could see the side of her face.
“I’m going to come again,” she managed to say.
She met my thrusts, closed her eyes, and made that sound she’d made when she’d come earlier. I felt myself thicken inside her, my thrusts short and fast until I stilled, my hand tightening in her hair. I closed my eyes as I came with a low, deep moan, her cunt pulsing around my cock, wishing I could have filled her up with my cum. Wanting to leave a piece of myself inside her. To take a piece of her.
9
Damon
I woke up to Lina’s lips wrapped around my cock. With a moan, I touched her face, petted her hair. Kneeling between my legs, she moved her mouth along my length, her eyes on me as she did.
“You’re killing me,” I managed as she pumped and sucked at once, her other hand between her legs.
Guilt gnawed at my gut. I was older than her and six months from being ordained. She trusted me. She was vulnerable. This was wrong. What I was doing was wrong. I should make her stop. I knew it. But fuck…
Reluctantly, I drew her off me and sat up.
“Lina.”
She knelt, her fingers still working her clit through her slick folds. “Damon.”
I couldn’t take my eyes off her.
“You’re a dirty girl.”
“You like it.”
We had Florida. I’d said one night, but we could have Florida. “Show me your pussy, Lina.”
She sat back and lifted one leg so I could watch her play with herself, watch her work her dripping pussy. Grabbing her ankle, I drew her toward me and bent my head to her, my mouth on her. She moaned, spreading her legs wider, hands on the back of my head while I devoured her, listening to the sounds she made when I took her clit into my mouth and sucked. When she came, she cried out my name, the sound only a breath. A sigh.
Rising slightly, hands on either side of her, I kissed her, then slid us both off the bed.
“Kneel,” I said.
She dropped to her knees before me, opening her mouth, thinking that’s what I wanted. But I shook my head and fisted my cock, pumping.
“Watch,” I said.
She knelt, transfixed.
“I’m going to cover you
in cum.”
She licked her lips, her gaze shifting to mine momentarily before returning to my cock. She slid her fingers between her slit.
I grinned, watching her. “You like watching?”
She nodded, darting her tongue out to lick the tip of my cock when I brought it to her lips.
“I like watching too. I like watching you finger your cunt.”
“I’m going to come again.”
“Come.”
She looked up at me, and I watched her. Saw how her face flushed, how she bit her lip as her eyes softened. She came, and a moment later, I blew, covering her in cum, her breasts, her neck, her face, all while I watched, while she knelt before me this one last time.
After showering, we ordered room service and ate breakfast by the window. It wasn’t easy to put off the thoughts of earlier, of how wrong this was, but time was running out, and we needed to talk.
“I’m free until about lunchtime. Then you’re on your own for the afternoon, but we’ll have dinner together.”
“Thanks for bringing me. I’m glad I came. Although I don’t know if I really had a choice.”
“Are you ready to talk.”
She didn’t quite nod, but she also didn’t say no.
“I want to help you,” I said. “I won’t judge you, no matter what.”
“I know.”
“Why is this so hard?”
“Because I wish you didn’t have to be involved. I wish things were different, and just that we’d met again under different circumstances.”
“Circumstances are what they are.” I studied her, refilling my coffee cup as she held her mug and sipped hers.
“Do you know who owns Club Carmen?” she asked, following quickly with: “Shit. I feel like I just slammed us back into reality.”
I felt the same way. “Up until a little while ago, it was Sergei Markov. Since his arrest, it’s changed hands to his son, Alexi. The same man I saw you talking to a few nights ago. It looked to me like he made your skin crawl.”
“Perceptive. You know who the Markov’s are then?”
I nodded.
“The apartment I live in belongs to Sergei, not Alexi. Alexi just sort of inherited it or took it over when they arrested Sergei.”
“Go on.”
She bit her lip. “I didn’t come across Club Carmen by accident.”
“What do you mean?”
“I sought him out. I sought Sergei Markov out.”
I waited, something telling me this was about to go from bad to worse.
“Do you remember when I mentioned that I had done something that could get me in trouble? That I had kept something back from Sofia and the investigators?”
“I remember, but…” I was confused. “I assumed it had to do with your grandfather.”
“Well, when I turned over the journals that got Grandfather arrested, I…I kept one.”
“What do you mean, you kept one?”
She exhaled deeply, shrinking into herself a little. “He had ties to Sergei Markov. They’d done business together.”
“What? Your grandfather and Sergei Markov?”
She nodded. “From what I understand, Sergei was interested in the Italian market, interested in taking it over from the Italian mob. I don’t know much more. Grandfather’s notes were probably only meant for himself to understand. He mentioned some names and mostly noted transactions with dates and dollars, some with initials and locations. There were just a few that were…more detailed.”
“Lina, you have to hand that over to the authorities.”
She shook her head. “My grandfather did bad things, Damon. Really bad things.” Her eyes pooled with tears. “Worse than stealing money.”
“Where’s the notebook?”
“Hidden.”
“Does Sergei know about its existence?”
She shook her head.
“How can you be sure?”
“I just know.”
I studied her. Sergei Markov was too smart not to know. Didn’t it explain his generosity with her? Didn’t that explain why he kept her so close. To keep an eye on her?
“I still don’t understand why you sought out Sergei Markov.”
She looked around the room, thinking. “I don’t know. Or I didn’t. Not then. I needed to believe Grandfather wasn’t as evil as that journal made him out to be. I needed to see Sergei Markov for myself. I…I don’t know. Maybe I needed to blame him. Maybe I thought it would exonerate my grandfather—in my mind, at least. I didn’t really have a plan. I just needed to see him.”
“Lina—”
“It’s such a relief to tell someone.”
She gave me a faint smile, and for a moment, I wasn’t sure she understood just how dangerous her situation was.
“This is a Russian crime lord we’re talking about.”
“I know.”
She quieted, biting the inside of her cheek, her forehead wrinkling as she shifted her gaze out the window.
“Go on, Lina.”
She faced me again. “I only went to the audition for the pianist position at Club Carmen to see him. I never really expected to get the job. I didn’t even really want it.” She shook her head. “I don’t actually know what I wanted, I guess. I didn’t have a plan. But Sergei hired me on the spot, and… I don’t know, I took the job. It was like Fate was sending me a sign, so I took it. I got to know him a little bit. He was so different than I expected. I guess I’d thought he’d be a monster, but he wasn’t. Not at all.”
“Monsters come in all shapes and sizes.”
“I needed to believe that my grandfather wasn’t one. Finding Sergei was supposed to do that. To make me see that Sergei was the monster.”
“But he wasn’t?”
She exhaled and lowered her lashes. It took her a moment before she continued.
“He knew I was struggling financially and told me I could stay at the brownstone apartment until I found something else. He said it was empty. His last renters had vacated it, and he hadn’t had time to look for anyone new. That’s how I ended up there.”
“You never looked for anything else? A place of your own?”
“I know I should have, but no, I didn’t. I’d shared an apartment—rented a cot, actually—before I’d found Club Carmen. This apartment was nicer than anything I could afford. And it was free.”
“Nothing is free, especially from a man like that.”
She shifted her gaze to the side. “He also gave me an advance.”
“This gets better and better.”
“I’m telling you the truth, Damon,” she snapped. “Truth you asked for. You said you wouldn’t judge me.”
“Go on.” I couldn’t help the edge in my voice.
“Sergei was kind to me. Warm even. Warmer than my grandfather. And it was never anything sexual with him. He was more like a father. I even started to forget why I’d come to New York City in the first place. It was just easier that way. Easier to turn my back on the past, even though I knew I’d have to face everything at some point. Face what I’d done, the role I’d played.”
“What about the journal? Have you considered turning it in?”
She shook her head. “I should burn it. I should already have burned it. It can only hurt Grandfather more, and I’ve done enough damage.”
“You didn’t do anything wrong.”
She shrugged one shoulder. “Because of me, my grandfather is in prison. Because of me, we’ve lost everything.”
“No. Not because of you. He did that. Not you. And there would have been an investigation anyway, Lina. After the fire, before the insurance paid out, they’d have dug deep into matters. Who knows how much of this they’d have uncovered themselves.”
“But the point is, they didn’t. They didn’t have to. I did it. And I did it because I knew what he had done to Sofia. How he’d sold her out. How he’d manipulated Raphael by using me. By threatening to not take me to my sister’s wedding.” Her voice broke. “What he ma
de her do, it makes me sick, Damon.” She wiped away stray tears and sat up straighter. “I guess I got it, finally. And then I realized he planned on hurting Raphael by stealing his house out from under him. It was just so wrong. So awful. And the thing was, when I went to the wedding, I knew Sofia and Raphael would make it work, somehow. I could see it, see how they felt about each other, even if they couldn’t admit it.”
“If you know all this, why do you feel any guilt?”
“I don’t know.”
“Go on about New York City and the Markov’s.”
“Well, everything was fine, until Sergei got arrested and Alexi turned up. He made a new arrangement with the advance. He started to take out what I owed his father from my paychecks, which he said I owed to Club Carmen, which in turn meant I owed him, and he tacked on an outrageous interest rate backdated to when I’d first received it. There was no way I could pay that back, and he knew it.”
“How much are we talking?”
She looked down at her empty plate where she set her crumpled-up napkin.
“You have to understand, I had nothing—”
“How much, Lina?”
She met my gaze, and I knew it was going to be bad.
“Twenty-five thousand dollars.”
“Twenty-five thousand dollars? Are you fucking kidding me? What could you need that much money for?”
“It wasn’t all personal. Some of that—a lot of it—Sergei wanted me in designer dresses. He wanted me to go to hairdressers he chose, makeup artists, the works. I was his pianist—”
“You were his doll. His pretty little toy doll.”
She opened her mouth, then closed it again. I saw the hurt in her eyes.
“Lina, you had to know he wouldn’t just have given you that.”
“I had nothing!” Tears reddened her eyes. “I’d come from having everything to nothing. I couldn’t go back home. Hell, I had no home. I didn’t want to go back to school. I just…I know it was stupid. I know how stupid I sound. How naive. I know.” She picked up her used napkin and wiped her nose. “Don’t you think I know?”
I rubbed my face. This was worse than I realized. “That’s why your cupboards are empty. Why you needed cab fare.”
Disgraced Page 10