by Kimi Flores
Who am I trying to kid? Everything in me says I know her.
Tilting his head, Zachary teased, “If you say so, man.”
Josh huffed, lowering his shoulders. “Dammit, was I that bad, Zach?”
Zach held up his hands. “I only saw you wasted that one time when you showed up at my front door. We know how that turned out. I wouldn’t rule anything out if I was you.”
Josh closed his eyes for a moment, remembering those days. How he spiraled, how he wasn’t sure if he was going to wake up some mornings. How he wished he didn’t in fact wake up and have to face the destruction he’d left behind the night before. “You’re right. Who knows what I did and who I did it to.”
He was a crazy mess for so many years, and there were a lot of things he didn't remember. That's why he left it all behind. Well, that and because none of it actually helped the pain. It was always there, throbbing in the background.
Dammit, Kai. He still couldn’t believe it sometimes. His throat muscles tightened whenever he thought about the night Kai died.
Why the hell did I introduce him to that scumbag anyway? I knew he wanted to score something that night.
Although Josh was never big on drugs, he had friends that sold and several others that used. He, however, preferred to drink until he passed out. It was his drug of choice, and nothing could pull him out of it. Nothing could make him want more. Even all the D.U.I.’s he’d been able to get out of and the near miss accidents. Everyone thought when Kia died, Josh would’ve calmed down. Little did they realize, it only intensified his need to numb his mind.
He’d drink himself into oblivion and wake up in bed with a different girl every morning, hoping he made it to the bathroom before he upchucked everything left in his system.
Lifting his hand to his chest, Josh realized the only thing he really remembered from that time was the large roaring tiger tattoo he got inked over his right peck. But that tattoo wasn’t for nothing. It wasn’t a drunken mistake. It had been his way of honoring his dead friend.
Kai was of Chinese descent and proud of the fact that he was born during the year of the tiger, often calling himself by the Chinese name for the large feline, lao hu. And of course girls ate that shit up.
Snapping him out of his thoughts, Zachary pointed out, “She’s gonna be around, ya know. Leah said she moved to Santa Barbara to be close to her family, and now she’s helping out with the weddings here. Maybe you should figure out what happened so you can both move on.”
Josh rubbed the back of his neck and gave a doubtful sigh. “I have a feeling that’ll be easier said than done. She looks at me like I’m a piece of shit she stepped in and can’t clean off the bottom of her shoe.”
Like Vans. No matter how hard you tried, if you stepped in shit wearing those, it was nearly impossible to get the soles cleaned.
Zachary gave him a slap on the shoulder. “Then it must be pretty serious and worth working out.”
Josh bit back a growl knowing that his cousin was right. Damn, why does he always have to make sense?
“I can’t thank you guys enough.” Leah looked drained as she gave Bri and Dani a weak smile. She looked up at the olive tree shading them from the sun. “I’m happy Amanda got married, but not that she moved away. I thought I’d finally found someone I could partner up with.” She looked over at Bri and yawned.
Leah was working non-stop. Her floral business had picked up just before her best florist got married and moved out of state. Since she was especially protective of the events at her friend, Zachary’s, vineyard, Leah asked Bri and Dani to help out until her new florist was ready to take over. Which Bri was all for since she still didn’t know what the hell she wanted to do with her life. Plus, who wouldn’t want to hang out at a vineyard and call it work?
Because they arrived fairly early this morning, there weren’t any other cars parked around them. There was, however, a dark brown horse tied to a post, which seemed out of place. Bri frowned, watching its long black tail twitching impatiently as if it was tired of waiting for its owner to show up. Having leisurely ridden horses most of her life, she was drawn to the magnificent animal the moment they’d gotten out of the car.
“Oh, there’s Zachary.”
Bri’s attention was pulled away from the beautiful creature as Leah pointed out to the distance, beyond the archway of the vineyard entrance.
Bri was impressed with Zachary when she’d first met him. He was extremely handsome in that rugged, works with his hands sort of way and had a confidence that was very attractive. As he headed in their direction, a sexy smirk broke out on his face when he locked eyes with Dani. Bri even caught Dani gawking back at him, just as she’d done when they first met, last November.
Is she blushing? I’ve never seen her blush.
Bri elbowed Dani to get her attention. Snapping her head toward Bri, Dani grimaced. “What?”
Shy? She must really be attracted to him.
Snickering, the girls turned back toward Zachary in time to catch another guy jogging up to his side. He took his baseball cap off, smoothed his brown hair down, then slid it back on.
Son of a bitch. It’s Josh.
She grit her teeth, wanting to pull her gawking eyes away but couldn’t.
When she’d originally fallen for him, neither of them were old enough to even be in the bar they’d met at. Now that they were in their late twenties, she took in all of his once boyish features that had become more masculine.
His brown hair was tucked into that baseball cap but very little of it showed since he kept it cut short. Back in the day, he kept his baby face clean shaven, but each time she saw him at the vineyard, he had more of a scruffy look going which gave him a more mature appearance.
Today, he was wearing low hanging dark jeans, black boots, and some sort of extreme sports T-shirt. Watching him and Zachary head toward them, she noticed that Josh was just a few inches shorter than his cousin. Zachary had to be well over six feet tall. Both men did however have the same muscular body frame and wide shoulders. Their physiques seemed to come from hard work though rather than time spent at the gym.
Bri felt an elbow jab her ribs. “Ow.” She turned to see both Leah and Dani staring at her. Dani raised an eyebrow as Bri rubbed her sweaty palms on the back of her shorts.
“What’s caught your attention, Amiga?” Dani smirked.
Bri narrowed her eyes, huffing, “Nothing. Absolutely nothing.”
Been there, done that, will not repeat. Ev-er.
“Hey girls, so glad you came early.” Zachary leaned forward to hug Leah as a bushy dog nudged her hand, wanting Leah to pet him. Zachary smiled shyly at Dani and gave Bri a friendly nod. “You remember my cousin, Josh?”
“Of course, it’s nice to see you again, Josh.” Leah greeted the asshole with the same hand she pet the dog with.
Hopefully she’s transferring fleas from the dog.
“How ya doing?” Dani asked warmly. If she knew the whole story, she’d punch him in the balls the way Bri wanted to.
She didn’t want to be a bitch. She really didn’t, but when it came time for Bri to greet him, all she could do was look down at her cute, embellished nails while slowly shifting her hips back and forth. She heard the amusement in Josh’s breath before Zachary redirected the awkward tension.
Freaking great. I can’t even behave like a civilized woman in front of him.
“Leah, I wanted to connect you and Josh,” Zachary said.
Bri’s head snapped in Josh’s direction. His eyes were on her like he was trying to figure out a puzzle. It was the first time that she’d looked straight at him since he’d ordered her away so many years ago.
Just thinking about it made her heart ache as it picked up speed. How can he still have this effect on me?
Zachary continued, “Josh owns a few horses, and I told him about the equestrian therapy you asked about.”
As Josh’s deep voice vibrated through the air, goose bumps broke out on Bri’s skin.
“Yeah, I have the horses and space but not the knowhow, equipment, or manpower to help. I’d love to offer the ranch if you can make it happen.”
He’s a humanitarian now?
Bri closed her gaping mouth as Leah pressed a hand to her heart. “Are you serious? We’ve wanted to connect the kids with different types of therapy and equestrian was one of the things we were looking at. We can definitely make this happen.” Leah’s giddiness was palpable. She loved her special needs dance students and would do anything she could to further their development.
Moving his eyes back to Bri before speaking to Leah, Josh seemed like he was trying to hold in his excitement. “This is pretty amazing actually. A few months back, I came across a story online and wondered if I could somehow help in the same way. It was about a teenage boy with cerebral palsy and autism. That amazing kid’s motor skills and concentration improved after he started the equestrian therapy. I figured I could be a small part of helping another kid achieve the same things.”
Leah’s mouth opened in surprise. “Wow, I saw that same story. It’s what made me start asking around to see if anyone I knew could help.”
Josh clapped his hands, then rubbed his palms together. “Fantastic, then it’s meant to be.” His eyes darted nervously to Bri once more before reaching into his pocket and pulling out his cell. “Here let me give you my number.”
Even I never got that. Bri recognized that she was being totally bitter and needed to step away.
While numbers were being exchanged, she quietly whispered to Dani, “I’ll meet you by the wedding site so we can put together our plan.” She turned to walk away, watching as Dani rolled her eyes, obviously irritated by Bri’s behavior, but it didn’t stop her.
Josh still didn’t remember her. It was obvious, and she needed space before she made a fool of herself.
I’m so pathetic.
Josh Tucker, Brianna Hunter, reclining in his dark brown leather computer chair, Josh typed that name combo for the millionth time since he’d encountered the stunning brunette last fall. The first day they all met at the vineyard, her brother casually mentioned that Josh and she traveled in the same circle when she was in college. Supposedly, they were even pictured in a gossip magazine together.
Josh scoured the internet, looking for that particular picture. The same shit came up every time. Photos of him leaving different clubs, bars, and restaurants with random girls, way back when he was partying hard.
Recently, he’d even joined a few of the social media groups under a fictitious name to see if he could find out more. It wasn’t a total loss because he found a profile picture of her that he may or may not have printed out. The settings were so secure on her profile that the only thing he could see was that she was from Chicago.
I’ve never been to Chicago. I wonder where she went to college.
Closing his eyes, he let out an aggravated breath. The devastated look on her face when they made eye contact earlier today killed him. He tried to convince himself once more, there’s no fucking way it’s her. Those eyes haunted him though.
Shaking that thought away, he scrolled down a little further. There was a different girl in every picture. Blonde, brunette, red head. Apparently he didn’t have a certain type and took home the first girl of the night. What a bastard I was.
Frustrated, he leaned forward, rubbing his face. Why do I keep torturing myself? A new picture isn’t going to magically appear.
Touching the images on his screen, he grumbled under his breath, “I wouldn’t recognize any of these girls if I ran into them.” Which made him wonder…Who is that guy? I’m nothing like him.
Huffing, he decided to get to the task he’d originally sat down to take care of. He opened a new search window and typed ‘equestrian therapy for kids with special needs’. Josh had plenty of time on his hands and was happy to fill it with something that actually had meaning. When his cell rang, he reached in his pocket, answering candidly, “Hello.”
“Hey whatcha doing?” Zachary asked.
Tilting back once again, Josh held his phone between his ear and shoulder as he stretched his arms forward. “Online trying to see what modifications I may need to make for the kids to come ride the horses.”
“Fantastic! I’m glad Leah asked me about it.”
There was a slight lull in their conversation before Zachary broke the silence, “So Dad and I are headed out for pizza and thought you might want to join us.”
Josh snickered, well aware of why they were inviting him. “You only want me to go because Patty makes sure to give you a kick ass pizza when I’m there.”
“Hey,” he chuckled. “I can’t help that the girl has a celebrity crush on you. If you aren’t going to use your fame to get good pizza, then you better believe we will.”
Narrowing his eyes, he grumbled, “I’m not a celebrity anymore.”
“Maybe not the way you used to be, but you’re definitely still the star of Patty’s dreams.” Zachary laughed.
Josh rolled his eyes. “Ha ha.”
“Okay, in all seriousness, want us to come get you on our way?”
“Sure, why not.” He needed a break from the internet anyway. And from a girl that clearly didn’t want him around. “I could use a little ego boost.”
Bri laid on the exam table while her gynecologist maneuvered the internal ultrasound wand around, looking at the images on the machine.
“Yep, there it is. That’s the reason you’ve had difficult periods lately.” Dr. Chang pointed to the screen as if Bri could actually make out the fuzzy black and white image. “You’ve got what appears to be a submucosal fibroid on your uterine wall.”
“Are you serious?” Bri ran her hands through her long dark brown hair and looked up at the white panels on the ceiling. “I thought the birth control pills took care of those.”
She’d had issues with fibroids and cysts since she first started her period. It wasn’t until she was put on birth control as a teenager that everything seemed to be fine. The past year, though, she’d stopped taking them to give her body a break. Low and behold, her issues had come back.
“I’m sure they did, but according to your chart, you’ve been off of them for a while now. Unless you’re looking to start a family soon, you might want to consider starting them up again.” Dr. Chang removed the wand and handed it off to her nurse.
Bri scrunched her nose. Blech, I’d hate to have that job. “Nope, no family.” She sat up, shaking her head.
Dr. Chang took another quick look at her chart. “Okay, then how about the birth control shot?” She leaned against the sink counter to the side of the exam table. “In time, you probably won’t even have a period. It can be difficult getting pregnant after you stop getting the shots, but sounds like it might be a good option for you now.”
Bri didn’t even have to think about it. “You sold me at no longer having a period, and I’m not interested in having kids so that’s fine.”
Dr. Chang frowned. “Ever?”
“Nah.” And end up screwing up another person’s life? No thank you. “I’m used to the pill, but what are the side effects of the shot?” Those damn side effects could suck worse than the problem itself. If Dr. Chang said uncontrollable diarrhea was a possibility, then Bri was out.
“I’ve honestly only had a couple of patients experience any problems, but according to the label, you can have a change in sex drive, weight gain, depression, hair loss or growth, headaches, nausea, and or sore breasts.”
Bri snickered, “So I could end up as a miserably plump, mustached, sex-crazed woman too nauseous to do anything about it…But I won’t have a period anymore?” Bri chuckled. “Sign me up.”
Once the exam was done and she received her shot, Bri got dressed and left to run a few errands. First stop was the dry cleaners to get her dress altered.
After scouring the internet again for pictures of Josh at one of his brother’s events, Bri came up empty. She realized he hadn’t been seen in p
ublic in years, so maybe the chance of him being at the wrap party was slim. Hoping beyond hope, she’d decided to buy a new dress yesterday and join her family.
She pulled into the strip mall parking lot and grabbed the dress when she spotted a guy in shorts and a tight black T-shirt heading into the cleaners. Seems as though my afternoon is looking up.
Pulling down her visor mirror, she checked her teeth, applied some lip gloss, fluffed her hair, then she reached into her bra to perk up her boobs. Draping the dress over her arm, she headed in and stood behind him.
Nice ass.