by Kimi Flores
Whirling around, she balled her fists. “Let’s see. If I remember correctly, because I have a fairly good memory, you rolled off me and said, and I quote, ‘Get the fuck out and tell Cheri to get her ass in here now.’” Bri would never forget that name.
“Cheri? Oh shit, Bri.” Josh crossed the room and stood in front of her, grabbing her hands. “Cheri was my P.R. manager. She was as pissed as I was about you going to the media.” Bri tried to pull away, but he squeezed her hands, reminding her, “Again, we thought it was you. Anyway, she watched me leave the club with you, and I knew she’d be waiting at my door to rip me a new ass. Once I realized the magnitude of my fuck-up that night, I thought you would be running to the paparazzi after we were done. I may have freaked out, but I never slept with Cheri.”
She managed to pull her hands away, then spun around, not wanting him to see the relief on her face. Even though this conversation didn’t erase all of her pain and humiliation, just knowing he hadn’t slept with Cheri loosened the vice on her heart just a little.
Bri dropped her head, squeezing her eyes tight as she fought the tears that wanted to fall. No, you will not cry. No!
Carefully turning her to face him, Josh lifted her chin with his index finger. “Bri, please look at me.”
Taking a deep breath, she opened her glossy eyes. Josh placed his thumb under her bottom lashes, catching the first tear as it fell. “You’re breaking my heart right now, but I have to ask. Why me? Why did you give yourself to me? I wasn’t worthy of being your first.”
This is beyond mortifying. I wish he’d never pulled me in here.
Sniffing, she spoke through quivering lips, “I thought you were. But I made a mistake, and I’ve lived with that lapse in judgment ever since. Especially knowing it meant nothing to you.” She jerked her face out of his grasp, swiping away additional tears.
Josh reached for her once more, running his thumb across her cheek. His eyes darted back and forth between hers as she tried to mask her feelings. “There’s no excuse for the way I behaved, but I don’t think you understand what it means to a guy when a girl gives him her virginity, especially when he doesn’t know ahead of time.”
Bri sucked in a breath, hating that they were talking about this.
“It’s not this whole conquest thing people seem to think it is. Even drunk, I knew it was a part of you that you could never get back. I may have been an asshole, but when I looked at the bed and realized it was your first time, I felt…so damn guilty. I’m sorry.”
Trailing his calming hands up and down her arms, he admitted, “The only other time I’ve been with a virgin was when I was one myself. It would’ve been different if, like my first time, we’d been teens in the backseat of a car. But Bri, you made it through high school and the first half of college without having sex. You can't tell me you didn’t have other opportunities. There’s no way guys didn’t try before I came along.”
Stepping away from him, she crossed her arms, placing her palms on her bare biceps in an effort to comfort herself, while trying to appear to be strong. “That doesn’t matter anymore. It’s in the past and it’s over. The only thing we have to deal with now is that we’re going to keep running into each other.”
His jaw clamped down for a moment. “Now that I know it’s you, I’ve gotta try to make up for this somehow.”
She shook her head, ready to be done with this. “There’s nothing to make up for, Josh. It was a long time ago. Can we please just forget about it?” Her strength was faltering as she looked into his blue eyes.
Was she ever going to get over this guy? Defeated, she knew the answer. Not as long as she would have to keep seeing him.
“I can’t forget,” he said quietly, “and the pain in your eyes tells me that you can’t either. Please let me try to make amends. I don’t know how, but I have to at least show you I’m not that guy anymore. Every time I’ve seen you, it’s killed me knowing you clearly hate my guts. I don’t want you to feel that way about me.”
“I don’t loath you, Josh.” She exhaled a heavy breath. “I was hurt a long time ago and bugged that you didn’t remember. Now that you do, we can move on.” She attempted to dismiss her feelings but didn’t think he believed her.
Finally, he blinked slowly and nodded. “Well then, since we’re going to be seeing each other, can we try to be friendly?”
“That might be a stretch, but we’ll see,” she teased, attempting to lighten the conversation. Anything to end it. His remorse did seem genuine, and she felt a little lighter.
One less problem for me to think about.
She moved her hair over her shoulder again. “I’m sure my family is looking for me. And you can go back to ignoring me.”
She meant it to be funny, but the look on his face said he wasn’t amused until he snickered, “Bri, I’ve never been able to ignore you. I know where you are, anytime you’re near me.” Josh crossed the room, looking back at her as he flung the door open.
Stefen stood at the entrance, looking ready to rip Josh’s balls off and shove them down his throat. Josh gulped, then lifted his chin. “What’s up, man?” He practically raced out, accidently bumping Stefen’s shoulder on his way.
Uh oh! Did Stefen hear anything?
Bri ran up to her brother, pulling him into the room before he reacted.
Stefen pointed to the open door. “What the fuck was that about, Bri? Do I need to kick his ass? I don’t like the way he pulled you away like that. I know you want to be independent and all, but it took everything I had to not come over here sooner.”
Placing her palms on his chest, Bri attempted to calm him down. “It’s okay. He was upset about something, but he’s fine now.”
Lowering his chin, Stefen looked up suspiciously at her. “He’s not the one I’m worried about.”
“I know.” She leaned in, kissing his cheek. “I’m fine. Really, I am.”
Stefen grunted, barely convinced, but he offered his arm as they stepped back out into the party. Bri felt lighter after all that, but airing everything out did nothing to calm her nerves.
Now if my heart would stop racing, I may be able to convince myself.
“What’s up with you, man? Get your head out of your ass and in the game.” Brad gave Josh a hard backhand to the chest.
“Dammit, would you stop hitting me?” Josh braced his hands on his knees, squinting as the sun shot him in the eye. They were on their second game of basketball at Bradley’s house with their childhood friend, Paul.
Brad wiped his sweaty forehead with the hem of his T-shirt. “You’ve been acting like a pansy ass since the wrap party the other night. Does this have anything to do with that dark-haired beauty you snagged right when we got there?” Shaking his head, Bradley snickered. “I can’t believe you took her in the other room and nailed her before the hor d'oeuvres were even served.”
Before Josh had a chance to react, Paul chimed in. “Bea? You messed around with Bea that night? Please tell me you didn’t.” Without warning, Paul shot the ball at Josh.
Catching it before it smacked his face, Josh griped, “Don’t talk about her like that. We didn’t do anything. Just cleared the air about a few things.”
“Losing your touch, huh?” Brad stole the ball out of Josh’s hands and effortlessly tossed it in the air, scoring again.
“Shut the hell up, Brad.” Josh ripped off his shirt, balled it up, then wiped his face. He had to remind himself that Brad was too young and not around him when all of this shit happened.
Brad gripped Josh’s shoulder. “I’m just fucking with you. It’s nice to finally see you reacting to something. You’ve been so damn miserable forever.” He chased after the ball when he made another hoop and it bounced away.
Paul stepped closer to Josh, speaking in a low tone. "Listen man, I’ve known Bri a very long time and she hasn’t always had it easy. She’s a cool girl. Alison and I were there after you threw her out of your room.”
So wait, Paul had known this who
le time? Aggravated, Josh dragged his hands through his hair. “Why didn’t you ever tell me?”
As if contemplating something, Paul explained, “Because you were going through a bunch of shit at the time, and after graduation we lost track of her. Plus you did that to a ton of chicks. I just happened to be friends with this one.”
Josh bent forward, trying to catch his breath. “My chest hurts.”
Brad strolled up to them, tossing the ball at Paul. “What are you girls gossiping about?”
Standing up straight, Josh rolled his eyes. He’s so freaking immature.
When he heard his phone ring, Josh spun in a circle, trying to remember where he’d put it. He jogged over to the bench where the sound was coming from and shielded the screen from the blinding sun. It was Leah. “Hello,” he answered optimistically. Maybe she had some good news about the equestrian therapy.
“Hey Josh, it’s Leah.” He was surprised by her contagious cheerful voice.
“Hey, how’s it going?”
“Pretty good. I’ll tell ya, I’ve been so excited about your offer ever since we spoke last week. I planned on talking to you about it at the wrap party, but I lost sight of you.”
“Sorry,” he said simply, not wanting to go into detail about why that night was complicated. “Did you find out anything?” He looked down at the ground as a refreshing breeze hit his sweat-drenched chest.
“Yeah, I spoke to a few therapists that work with my kids, and we’d love to come see your property if you’re open to it, then we can figure out where to go from there.”
He sat on the bench, leaning his elbows on his thighs and watching Brad and Paul fight each other over the basketball. “Absolutely, when do you guys wanna come?”
“Does Saturday work for you? I have to go to the vineyard to meet with a bride, then I figured we could go to your ranch before we head up to Zachary’s for dinner.”
We? “Works for me.” He nervously tapped his forehead with his index and middle fingers. “Is, um…is Bri coming?”
There was a slight pause. “She’s going to the vineyard, but I’m not sure what her plans are afterward.”
“Oh, okay.” He stood up, dodging the ball as it flew toward him.
“Well, the kids are going to be here in a couple of hours. I’d love to invite a few of them to come see your horses if you don’t mind.” She spoke in a hopeful tone.
Kicking Brad in the ass as he passed by, Josh tried to keep his tone neutral, hiding their horseplay. “Of course. I’d love to have the kids over.”
“Fantastic. I’ll tell their caregivers.”
“Sounds good. I’ll see you on Saturday then.” Josh tossed his cell into his bag that sat on the bench.
“What the fuck was that for?” Brad rubbed his butt cheek.
“I was on an important call,” Josh snapped. “Why did you throw the ball at me?”
“Because you’re here to play ball, not flirt with some chick on the phone.” Bradley acted as though he was trying to stake his time with Josh.
Irritated, Josh grunted, “I wasn’t flirting. It was talking to that woman I’m planning the horse therapy with that I told you about.”
Brad held his hands up, backing away. “Oh sorry. My bad.”
Too late to apologize. “Yeah just for that, you’re coming up to help me put together the new corral that’s being delivered on Friday.” It wouldn’t kill Brad to get his hands dirty.
Brad made a face. “Why don’t you pay someone to do that shit for you? I always get suckered into helping.” Brad always had a sense of entitlement when it came to work and money. He wasn’t an ass about it, he’d just never been taught any different. It was easier for him to whip his wallet out than work up a sweat.
“Because we’re men and men build shit. We don’t have to pay other guys to do it for us.” Josh was taught this when he was a teen working alongside Zachary at the vineyard. Brad was too young to join them at the time, but Josh hoped his brother would catch on before it was too late.
Brad pointed to Paul. “Fine, but he’s gotta come too.”
Paul shook his head. “Not sure I can make it. Unlike you guys, I actually have a day job I have to go to.”
“You mean, the one you should be at right now?” Brad was obviously the smartass in their group.
Paul shrugged. “I didn’t have any appointments until this afternoon.”
Josh sweetened the deal, hoping to convince them. “How about this, we’ll ride bikes in the morning, build the coral in the afternoon, then grab some pizza and play poker later.”
Paul snickered, rolling his eyes. “What a hard life you have.”
“I never said it wasn’t good to be me.” Josh beamed, well aware of the blessed life he led. Now the cherry on top would’ve been having a beautiful woman to share it with.
That thought surprised him, especially when a certain brunette flashed across his mind.
“Bye Auntie Bri, Leah, and Dani.” Madison waved as her daddy, Caleb, ushered them out of the dance studio.
“Bye guys, thanks again for keeping her for so long today.” Caleb’s expression said that he was relieved to have some alone time with Abby today. They’d gotten married last year and were pregnant by the time they got home from their honeymoon. Abby’s mom had the baby today while Leah, Bri, and Dani watched Madison.
“Anytime,” Leah called after him. “You know how much we love her.”
He proudly smiled on his way out.
Bri felt perspiration dripping down the middle of her back. “I probably sweat more than the kids today. That was a great workout.” She helped Leah and Dani put the yoga balls away in the small storage closet of the dance studio.
Dabbing her forehead with a towel, Leah draped the terrycloth material around the back of her neck. “Me too. Those kids have way more energy than I do.” All three women plopped tiredly onto the hardwood floor in front of the mirrors, guzzling water from their bottles.
Leah leaned back against the mirror, turning her head to Bri. “I’m glad I finally have some professional help. I started teaching these classes so the kids could have fun, but I always wondered if they could somehow help with their development.”
Dani crossed her legs. “I swear hermana, you’ve always had dreams that end up being even more grandiose than you envisioned.”
“Those kids are the best. You know I’m in love with them, right?” Bri raised her eyebrows as if she was stating a fact.
Dani nodded, smiling fondly. “We all are.”
Biting the inside of her cheek, Leah brought her knees up to her chest. “So I was wondering, what’s up with you and Josh?”
Bri took another swig of water then reached for the towel that hung from the ballet bar and patted her neck and chest while Dani looked suspiciously at her. She still hadn’t had a chance to tell Dani about the other night. “Why do you ask?”
“Because I’ve seen how you purposely ignore him every time he’s around, but the minute he needed you, you were there in a heartbeat. I’m not sure if you noticed his face when he saw you get out of the limo.” Leah cocked her eyebrow. “He wasn’t interested in any of us helping him, but he clung to you like you were his lifesaver.”
Holding her hands up, Dani seemed offended. “Wait a minute. What happened? I haven’t heard any of this.”
“I know. You’ve been working, then you slept all day until your date last night. I haven’t really had a chance to talk to you about it.” Bri tried to defend herself, but she knew the real reason. She simply hadn’t wanted to talk about him and wasn’t sure how much she could share with Leah.
Leah lifted her arms, grabbing hold of the ballet bar. “You know how impossible your brother can be. He flipped out when Josh shut you in that room. Took a lot of convincing to keep him from running after you guys. But as you know, he’s very persistent.”
“Seriously?” Dani huffed. “That hot guy took you in another room, and you haven't said anything to me?”
Bri
gave Dani a pointed look, trying to silently communicate: drop it for now please.
Leah pursed her lips. “I talked to Josh this morning, and he seemed very interested in whether you were going up with us to his ranch on Saturday.”
Bri stretched her legs in front of her, glad she decided to wear her black yoga pants. She leaned back, bracing herself with her arms. Giving Dani another look, Bri hoped she would catch where she was going with this. She wasn’t ready to tell Leah. It was too risky. “Are you asking as my friend, or are you asking because my brother wants to know?”
Dani lifted her chin, seeming to understand.
Leah brought her hand down, placing it on Bri’s outstretch leg. “Listen, if I see that you’re upset and think he can help you, I may point it out to him, but I hope you know that you and I are friends. I don’t run to him for everything. He’s my husband, so I won’t lie to him. But when he asks me questions about you, my answer is always, ‘have you asked Bri’.” She gave a low chuckle. “Pisses him off every time.”