by Naomi Niles
But it didn’t work. Mum was looking my body up and down, spotting the changes that weren’t too well disguised by my pyjamas. If she’d come in the day time, when I was already dressed, then none of this would have happened!
“Danica, are you pregnant?” she asked, a little too bluntly for my liking. I bit my lip, trying to gauge her reaction, but surprisingly she didn’t look too angry.
“Yes,” I whispered, no longer able to hide it. I just couldn’t lie when asked outright like that–it didn’t feel right. “I just… I was waiting for the right time to tell you. I’m sorry that I didn’t mention it sooner. It’s all been a bit-”
“Oh, wow,” she burst into happy tears this time. “That’s just…that’s amazing. And don’t worry, I completely understand, what with everything going on…”
She hugged me once more, stopping herself from saying anything too upsetting about the wedding, and it felt nice to have her arms around me. It felt like I was finally getting the comfort that I needed when it came to my unborn child.
But then she pulled back, and her face turned very serious, which had me worried all over again. “I just want to tell you to forget about men. They aren’t worth it.” She held my shoulders tightly, staring deeply into my eyes. “Make that child the center of your world, and never waiver from that. Whoever the father is, whether he’s in your life or not, get rid of him and don’t tell him about the baby.”
Okay, this conversation had taken a weird turn–and for me to feel that after all I’d been through recently, that was saying something. Clearly her feelings about Brad were coming out here, and I probably shouldn’t pay too much attention. “Men have run off for far less.”
“Yeah, okay, Mom.” I wrapped her up in my arms, while she continued to cry.
Although I knew that she was upset, but considering what was going on with her, and what had happened with Rhett, I couldn’t help but wonder if she was right. Maybe never telling Rhett was the right solution. I’d thought about it hypothetically of course, but deep down I’d always assumed that things wouldn’t really end up that way; but maybe, just maybe, that was the way that things were supposed to be.
Maybe everything here had happened for a reason, and it was all exactly as it was supposed to be.
Chapter 34
Rhett
I checked my phone continually, each time praying that I would get a different answer, but no such luck. Danica hadn't answered my message and it had been almost a whole day. Hours with no response and I had no idea what to do with myself. I’d been so convinced that my warning would be enough to have her contacting me, so the fact that she hadn't was very strange–almost unbearably so.
With what I knew about my dad now, I couldn’t help but be worried about her safety–especially if I was wrong, and he was still monitoring our communications somehow. Anything could have happened! I needed to see her, to clear the air once and for all, and there was only one way I could do that.
“Are you sure you have to leave now?” Mom asked, a whining tone to her voice. I knew that she wanted to keep me for as long as possible, and under normal circumstances, I would have respected that greatly, and done exactly what she wanted. But nothing about this situation was normal. “I thought you didn’t have to start until next week?”
I’d told her that I was going to Grange now, rather than the truth about what I was actually doing, because I didn’t want to involve her in something that was potentially dangerous. Too many people that I loved were at risk here, I didn’t need anyone else dragged into this. I didn’t want that horrible man anywhere near my mom ever again, and I would do whatever I could to prevent that from happening.
It was only a little, white lie to protect her; I couldn’t feel too bad about that. I’d never really lied to her before, so it felt awful to do so, but if I kept convincing myself that it was the only way to keep her safe then I would be fine.
“I know, Mom, but I need to go and pick up my car, too.” At least that part was true. I just wasn’t totally sure how I was going to go about getting my vehicle back, but I needed it all the same. I hoped that it was still there, and that my dad hadn't gotten rid of it somehow–just to spite me. Hopefully, he was so wrapped up in his other business that he’d all but forgotten I existed.
Sure, that was probably just a pipe dream, but if I didn’t at least consider that option, I might never work up the bravery to do this journey.
Mom pursed her lips, which was a sign that she was about to say something that I didn’t like. I recognized that face a lot from my teenage years. “Is it to do with Danica?” she asked warily. “Because I’m not quite sure that’s a good idea.”
My heart thumped as I spoke this time–she was too switched on for my liking, and she’d struck a nerve with that comment. “No, Mom.” I hated lying, but it was essential here.
“She isn’t talking to me anymore. This is about me and my future. We’re done now, and I’ll never see that girl again.” Guilt washed over me, and I did my best not to let that show on my face. I would explain why I’d felt the need to lie soon enough, I just had to hope that she bought it for now.
“Hmmm,” she didn’t quite believe me, which was fair enough. I wasn’t being truthful after all, but I kept my face straight, knowing that I just needed to get out of the door. Once I was gone, I could do what needed to be done in the knowledge that at least my mom was safe from him.
“Okay, well, you have a nice time, and call me as soon as the bus gets there.” She finally decided to accept my version of events, and I loudly let out a breath that I hadn't even realized I was holding. I freaked out that my breathing might be the thing to eventually give me away, but it seemed like her mind was already elsewhere–luckily for me.
“I will.” We hugged for a while, before I forced myself to pull away. For some reason, this felt like more of a serious goodbye than it was. I knew I’d be back for holidays and things, but this was still a massive change for all of us, and it was going to be a big adjustment. I’d always lived at home with her, and I knew that once I left, I wouldn’t be coming back. We hadn't acknowledged it–it was an unsaid thing between us–but it was finally hitting me that it might be harder than both of us first assumed. “I’ll see you soon, okay?” I promised, vowing to myself that I would–no matter what.
There were tears in her eyes, which made me get a bit emotional too. I quickly brushed the tears away, not wanting her to see them, but I’m not sure how successful I was. “I love you, son.” She smiled at me. “And have a good time.”
“I love you, too, Mom, and I miss you already.”
As I walked away from the house, I felt sadder than I ever thought I would. That was the only life that I’d ever known, and it was strange to leave it all behind. James had promised that he would visit me at college soon enough, but I already knew that it wouldn’t be exactly the same. He was forming his own life, and I mine. I just hoped that at least some of my old life would remain the same, despite everything going on.
***
As the bus trundled towards my destination once more, all I could think about was Danica. I knew that I should probably just let her go and give her the space that she needed to get over me and us, but I needed to see her all the same, and I really hoped that it would lead to us working our way back to one another, rather than tearing us apart. I couldn’t stop worrying, and I needed to make sure that she was okay. I couldn’t think about anything else. My heart was totally overruling my head.
Without a second thought, I grabbed my phone from my pocket, and I tried to call her once again, but of course, she still wasn’t answering. Not to be deterred, I fired off another text, praying that she would at least read it.
‘Hi, Danica; it’s Rhett. I know that you’re not talking to me, and that I’m probably the last person in the world that you want to speak with, but I really need to see you. You might be in danger, and it’s pertinent that we meet. Please come and see me in the reception area of your college at
midnight? x’
I knew that she probably wouldn’t respond, but I had to hope that she would at least listen and turn up. I wasn’t sure what else I could say to persuade her to speak to me. I couldn’t tell her everything over text message because it was too much and too confusing. Plus, if communications were still being monitored, which I seriously prayed they weren’t, then I didn’t want to give away what I already knew. That was my leverage over my dad, and I wanted to use that wisely.
By the time the bus finally arrived, I only had one thing on my mind. If I had to wait until midnight to see Danica, then I didn’t even want to risk being on the college grounds before then. I knew it was risky, but what I’d told my mom was true–I really did need my car, and I really did want to at least attempt to get it back. I already had the keys pressed firmly into the palm of my hand, and now I wanted the vehicle to go with it. The pros of getting it back greatly outweighed the cons–including the fact that I might need to get away at a moment’s notice–which was why I decided to risk heading to my father’s land to attempt a car rescue.
If I got there within the next hour, it would be before my dad was home anyway, which would make things so much easier. Lyla might be there, but I hoped that we still had a good enough relationship that she wouldn’t turn me away, and if I found Danica there, then all the better. If she was at risk in any way, then I wanted to be the one who rescued her.
I needed my car, and was determined that I would get it. It belonged to me after all, I only left it behind because of the way that I got sent away.
I argued with myself all the way there, despite the fact that it was pointless. I was doing it now, and that was the end of it, but there was no denying the fear that coursed through my veins.
Although, as I arrived at my father’s home, it seemed like all my worry had been for nothing. It didn’t even look like anyone was home. I crept around, peeping through all of the windows, but it quickly became clear that the entire building was empty. Curious, and wanting to know more, I snuck the spare key that I’d seen Lyla hide under a stone on the driveway, and I made my way inside. Sure, I’d noticed my car still sitting there where I’d left it, which was something of a surprise, but right now my attention was off somewhere else entirely.
My heart thumped painfully as I tiptoed through the building that had already become so strange to me. Small images of Danica smiling at me from across the room kept flicking into my mind, but the memories had started to feel like they’d happened to someone else, someone not connected to me. I could remember her and us clearly, but associating those memories with this house was too weird for words.
As I got to her bedroom, where we’d spent many nights tucked up together under her duvet, my heart broke for what might have been. I tried to tell myself that it could all still happen, that there was still time, but the obstacles that we still needed to overcome felt too much–too overwhelming.
The fact that there was barely any sign of Danica in this room could only mean one thing–she was at college after all, which meant that was where I needed to go. Having no more business in my dad’s home–I didn’t even need to find any more evidence what with the papers I had stashed in my bag–I raced outside to grab my car. She was safe, she was under the protection of her college, and that was enough for me.
I knew that as soon as I moved this car from the driveway, he would know that I’d come back, which would speed the entire process up, but honestly, that was okay. The quicker this was done the better, as far as I was concerned.
As the engine roared to life, all of the anxiety came back tenfold. I needed to escape, to book into the nearest hotel and just hope that everything would come into place come midnight. There was a chance that Dad would get to Danica first, but I prayed the image that he’d set up in front of Lyla would prevent him from doing so. He’d spent such a long time portraying himself as a nice, trustworthy guy that I had to pray he would need some time to act upon my appearance.
Time was key. If this plan was going to work, if I was going to somehow end this, I really needed time to be on my side.
Chapter 35
Danica
‘I read the message on my phone’s screen over and over again, wondering what the hell I should do about it. Should I call Rhett? Message him back? Agree to meet him? My initial instinct was to ignore it, like I had his answer phone message, but the fact that Brad was missing and that my mom was a mess had me actually wanting to see him. If he knew something that I needed to know, then would I be stupid to avoid him…right?
I couldn’t deny that my heart fluttered excitedly with the thought of laying my eyes upon Rhett again, which really annoyed me. I was still furious for all the things he said to me, all the lies he spilled before leaving me on my own.
There was just no excuse for that whatsoever. Did he think that none of that mattered anymore? Did he think that I would just forget the shitty way that he treated me because something else had happened?
But then again, would it be petty to ignore him just because I was annoyed?
I glanced over at my mom, wondering if I should ask for her opinion, but I quickly disregarded that thought. She was a hot mess, and I couldn’t pile this on top of her, too. She’d spent most of the night trying to get in touch with Brad with no luck, and she’d even stayed over in Chloe’s bed.
I’d contacted my roommate to check where she was, and luckily it turned out that she’d gone back home for a few days to visit her family, so she was completely fine with my mom using her bed. I’d explained some of the story to her, but not everything. That was more than just a phone call conversation, I was sure of it.
It had been a very stressful night, which hadn't been good for anyone, and I’d even had to miss my doctor’s appointment because I didn’t want to put that on Mom, too. I was sure that now that she knew the truth, I’d be able to rebook it in a couple of days whether she was still by my side or not. I just needed to wait until the moment was right.
It was only all of this that had me wanting to agree with Rhett right away, but as I held my phone between my fingers, I couldn’t find the words to write back, just in case I changed my mind at the last minute.
After a few moments of deliberation, I decided that I would wait until nearer the time, then I would make my choice, but deep down, I already knew that I wouldn’t be able to let Rhett be in this building without going to see him.
***
The day passed in a haze of worry; my mind was constantly all over the place, making even the simplest of tasks challenging. That, combined with the sickness that had seemed to decide to stretch out all day now that I’d been more honest about what was happening with me, made it really hard for me to do anything. Sure, I did my best to help Mom with her desperate attempt to find Brad, which took my mind off things somewhat, but we still got nowhere. It seemed like he really had disappeared off the face of the planet. We faced dead end after dead end until I ended up getting really frustrated with everything.
I felt bad not telling Mom that I sort of had a meeting planned with Rhett when she was so worried about what was going on, but I had no idea what he was here for, and I wanted to figure out his motivation first. If his end game was just to get close to me again, it didn’t seem fair to raise her hopes, just to have them dashed again.
I’d like to think that Rhett was someone I could trust, but he’d proven to me on more than one occasion that wasn’t the case, so as much as it killed me to keep it a secret, I knew that it was best for everyone involved.
So as we got into bed much later in the evening, I allowed her to drift off into a worried sleep while I forced myself to stay awake. Then once I was absolutely certain that she was sleeping, I snuck out of the room and I crept into the bathroom where I could ready myself in peace.
I stared into the mirror for a few moments, just drinking in my stressed, haggard face. When I considered how healthy I looked the first time I saw Rhett, it was a massive difference to how I appeared no
w. My face was pale and sick-looking, my skin was spotty, and my entire aura was that of someone who didn’t know what the hell to do next. I was a mess, and I hated having to see him while I looked that way.
But it didn’t seem like I had any choice, so I grabbed my baggiest, most unflattering clothes to cover up my baby bump. Maybe this repellent look would be a good thing; maybe I didn’t want him to like me anymore.
But I knew that it was pointless even thinking that. Rhett’s adoration had kept me going through the difficult summer months, and I wished that I could be in a position to obtain that again. Obviously, that wasn’t going to be possible, so instead, I hoped that this was going to be a meeting that cleared everything up. I hoped that Rhett had all the answers as to what was going on with Brad. Maybe he had a plan to fix all of this. That would make almost everything worth it!
As I wandered nervously down the stairs and out towards the reception area of the college, my heart pounded heavily. I kept breathing deeply, trying to keep myself calm, but it wasn’t working at all. I was already a nervous wreck–I had to hold my arms across my body, just to stop myself from falling apart.
And then I spotted him standing there, and my entire body went into meltdown. The world fell out from beneath my feet and my head started to spin like crazy. It didn’t help that he looked so gorgeous when I felt so dreadful. It didn’t feel fair!
Keep calm, I told myself. Just get through this.
But the walk towards him was long and tortuous, so I kept my gaze fixed on my feet, which was the only place that they felt safe. By the time I forced myself to raise my eyes to meet his, my first thought was that he actually looked kind of relieved to see me, which I hadn't really been expecting.