by Naomi Niles
I gave some thought to the restaurant that Silver had built. Perhaps there was something in that line for me. After all, my name did carry a reputation and beef was what every good Texan ate. I went into the bank where I’d been doing business for so many years. I proposed a business plan to them and received financing. I began my search for an existing restaurant that I could convert, or lot where I could build a new one.
I finally found the ideal situation. Not far from the arena there was an old railroad yard. It had long before been disconnected from the main trunk, although there were still a half-dozen railroad cars abandoned there. They were cattle cars and not at all luxurious, but they were exactly what I needed. I sat down with an architect and we designed a restaurant that utilized the cattle cars as the front façade of the building. I applied for a liquor license and began searching for the best beef supplier I could find. I named the restaurant The Cattle Car, and my idea was to advertise heavily at the rodeos. I would also set up a series of fans on the roof that would blow the fragrance of grilling beef for quite a distance, hopefully all the way to the arena. I knew the smell of grilled beef would be welcomed in a place where the stronger odors came from the animal barns. I hoped that those who attended the events would consider my restaurant the destination afterwards.
It worked just exactly the way I knew it would. The only thing I changed was I added my name, calling it Blake Temple’s Cattle Car. I staffed it with beautiful young women in short skirts, low-buttoned, western shirts and western hats. There was straw on the floor and the booths looked like rodeo pens; the tables a version of a gate topped with glass.
It was an overnight success, and I barely had to spend any money at all to publicize it. It was so successful that I began looking for second location. It only made sense to repeat the formula as it worked the first time, so I looked in cities along the circuit. I built a second in Kansas City, a third in Oklahoma City, and a fourth in Baton Rouge, Louisiana. I told myself that wasn’t deliberate; it was simply another city on the circuit, but I knew better.
With each new restaurant came yet another challenge. I repeated the same formula that I had used in Dallas and it was faultless, however my life had become all about restaurant management and that was hardly where I had intended to go. It nearly choked me to stay locked in an office all day. So I looked around and hired a general manager who took my place. He went from restaurant to restaurant, overseeing the staff, the food supplies, the construction, and the interior design of each unit. Eventually I franchised and new restaurants with my name on them sprang up over half the United States. It was an explosive growth, taking place over a very brief period of time.
And yet I still was not content. That was going to change.
Chapter 21
Meli
I went back to my solitary, quiet life with Kirk and there was always Sarah on the perimeter. Marie and I got together from time to time and she would pat my hand and make soft soothing sounds. She, better than anyone, I suppose could see the sadness in my face. Blake was the only man for me, and he was the father of my child. There simply was no one else who could take his place.
I had watched him through the news reports, the social media, and finally the day came when I saw a restaurant with his name on the sign. That’s when I knew it was truly over. He had found himself again, and no longer needed me. On one hand, I rejoiced; he had again found himself and was successful in his own right. On the other hand, I wanted him in our life, and I knew now that that would never happen.
Kirk asked about Blake from time to time, and it was difficult to explain why his father had so suddenly popped into our lives and as suddenly popped out again. No one else asked me about him; they seemed to know that the topic was taboo.
I had begun to become accustomed to being on our own, without the concept of having him in our life. That was the day everything changed.
* * *
I had just finished visiting all my cafés. It had been a long and tiring trip, and it seemed to get worse is I got closer to the end. I realized why once I arrived home. Somewhere along the way I had contracted a virus and my head was throbbing as I paced around the house. I knew I had a fever and was very glad that Sarah was still around. Kirk had begun school, half days in kindergarten. I had come down to the kitchen to make myself a cup of hot tea before returning to bed.
There was a knock at the front door. I was in my robe and slippers and certainly not fit for company but there seemed little choice. I open the door and there stood a man in a flimsy suit whose hair could have seen a haircut.
“May I help you?” I asked him.
“Are you Melanie Christian?” he asked.
I nodded, pushing my hair behind my ears and setting down my cup of tea. I didn’t want to invite him in, and wondered why he was there. “Yes, I am.”
“Ms. Christian, this is for you.” He held out an envelope which I then accepted. Turning around he called out over his shoulder, “Have a nice day.”
It must’ve been the cold that prevented me from thinking straight. I stood there like an idiot with the envelope in my hand trying to figure out what he was there for. Had I just won the Publishers Clearinghouse? I closed the door, picked up my tea, and wandered into the living room to read it. I took a sip from the steaming cup and set it down as I opened the envelope. What I read then would change the rest of my life.
Blake was suing me for partial custody of Kirk.
Every mother’s instinct came alive in me in that moment, and I was enraged. I no longer felt the virus, I no longer felt anything but abject terror. I felt as though I would pass out.
“Sarah!” I called to her.
She must’ve heard the urgency in my voice because I heard her feet pounding down the stairs.
“What’s wrong?” I could hear that same tone she used with Kirk when she was concerned but trying to be calm so as not to over excite him.
“Read this,” I handed the papers to her.
She began to read, and as she did, the import of the words forced her to plop down onto the sofa. “To tell you the truth, I was a little afraid this might be coming at some point. Although, I thought he would’ve done it in the beginning when he first learned about Kirk.”
I nodded mutely.
“Obviously this is upsetting to you. Are you willing to let him see Kirk?”
“I don’t know. Maybe you expected this, but I thought we were past this point, too. My God. I don’t want to put Kirk through this. He’s finally started school now, and enjoying a little bit of himself in the real world. I really don’t know what to do.”
I was staggering beneath the implications of the legal papers. Blake had blindsided me; I had trusted him but it seemed he hadn’t accepted my explanation of the accident and was now out to hurt me.
I telephoned Marie. “He knows about Kirk and he wants to take him away from me. All that I feared over these past years has come to pass.”
“Did you not expect he would want a relationship with his own son?” her voice chided me, reminding me that I was accustomed to getting my own way.
“Yes, I knew he might and that’s why I kept Kirk a secret.”
“Poor, Meli … you must learn that you cannot control others as you wish you could. Your son deserves to know his father as well.”
“Why do you have to be so sensible?” I lamented. “You always know what to say to make me feel guilty.”
“Not trying to make you feel guilty; just trying to bring things into perspective for you. The guilt, you make for yourself.”
I knew she had a point and yet it didn’t feel good to own it. Truth never did. “So, what do I do?”
“You do what any mother would do. You do what is best for the child, and in this case, Kirk’s father is not a bad man and will give balance to his life. I think it’s a very good thing, my dear.”
“Marie, you do know how to put a positive light on things, that’s for sure! Well, I’ll have to figure this all out. I gues
s I won’t fight Blake, but I will need some guarantees. After all, for him to have visitation means that Kirk will be going to another state. That’s a separate jurisdiction and I’ll have to check with my attorney to see how that could affect my rights to keep him here and in school.”
“It will all work out. After all, you do not hate Blake; you are hurt because he chose to distrust you. You must admit that shooting him is cause for him to consider your motives.”
“I suppose. How are things at the café? I’m opening another one soon and wondered if you would be interested in being my assistant?”
“I have Louis to consider, my dear. I’m fine where I’m at.”
“I get that. Well, I couldn’t help trying.”
“You always have me here; always a place to come home to.”
“Love you, Marie. I’ll call again soon.”
“Be generous hearted, my sweet!”
I hung up and realized she’d given me an entirely new perspective. I wanted Kirk to grow up with love in his heart and I needed to give him that example.
I found an attorney and made an appointment to discuss things. He was a bit surprised by my attitude.
“I generally counsel women who don’t want to share custody,” he pointed out.
“I get that, but this is an unusual situation and I’m putting my child first.”
“That’s refreshing to hear, I don’t mind telling you.”
“Well, so be it. Please, contact his attorney and work out the details. Just make sure I can’t lose control over my son when he’s not with me.”
The attorney nodded and I left him to his work.
Two weeks later, he called me and the details were in writing. Blake would get Kirk one weekend a month and one month during the summer. It was agreed that the Louisiana court would have precedent and Blake agreed never to attempt permanent, full-time custody.
Now came the moment of bravery: that time and place where I would turn Kirk over and walk away. Would I be able to do it? I had no choice; I’d made a deal.
Chapter 22
Blake
To say that I was surprised when Silver gave in without a struggle would be stating it lightly. I figured she would fight me tooth and long, beautiful nail. I wished I understood that woman half as much as I loved her.
I had no idea what caused her to turn on me, but I suspected that it was honestly motivated by good. Perhaps she didn’t have the capacity to show how she felt; she’d been hiding as a matter of survival for so long.
That was when it struck me. Her entire outlook on life was about survival. She never had anyone she could depend on but herself and probably thought that was the only way it was done.
Her words in her restaurant came back to me. I had been sentimental in my relief to be with her again. She couldn’t hear sentimentality; it wasn’t in her vocabulary. It was onward and upward her entire life. She probably figured I’d gone soft and she was the reason. If I was soft, I couldn’t handle bull riding, and if that went away, there was nothing left for me. Did she have so little faith in me? Was I nothing more than a cowboy?
I realized I’d hit on exactly what was going on. It wasn’t at all about me; it was about her. She had sketched the entire world with the same pencil she’d used to survive on her own. It’s all she knew. It gave me hope to think this might possibly be true.
Silver walked in the door, Kirk in hand, and I thought that climbing aboard bulls took bravery. That was nothing compared to this, though. I had asked them to meet me at my Baton Rouge restaurant—it was just about the most neutral place I could think of and it would give her an opportunity to see what I’d done. I had an apartment nearby and would spend my time with Kirk there rather than dragging him back and forth to Dallas.
She paused, looking around and then saw me sitting at the bar. Her head went up slightly, as though she was summoning courage and she walked toward me.
Kirk saw me first. “Daddy!” he called out and ran toward me. I scooped him into my arms and hugged him. It was amazing how much joy there could be in such a small package.
Pushing him onto my hip, I looked at her. “Hello, Silver.”
“Blake,” she acknowledged in a breathy voice. I realized she was about to cry.
“Hey, don’t. C’mon back here in my office and let’s sit down.” I turned and glanced over my shoulder to see her following dutifully behind. I pushed open the office door, set Kirk down, and took her elbow to gently bring her inside.
“How are you?” she asked, clearing her throat that was tight with emotion. I had an idea of what she was going through and wanted to put her at ease.
“Silver, I’m fine. Everything is healed and fine. Forget about that. How are you, is the question.”
“Okay,” she began tentatively.
“Hey, I know what you’re thinking. You’re worried that you’re losing him. You’re not.” I got up and went over to my desk, taking out some paper and drawing supplies.
“Here, Kirk. Sit down and draw me a picture of what you’d like Santa to bring you next Christmas,” I told him. He happily climbed up into my high-back, swivel chair and sorted through the compasses and rulers I had before considering what he would draw.
Crossing the room, I sat down next to Silver and spoke in a low voice so the boy couldn’t overhear. “Look, I screwed up. I shouldn’t have come after you with a damned lawyer. I should have just come to you, face to face, and worked something out. It probably hit you hard and you weren’t sure what to expect. After all, our last meeting wasn’t very romantic, shall we say.”
She seemed to relax a bit at my words and I felt better.
“How about I get you a little wine?” She nodded acceptance and I went out to the bar and poured us each a small goblet. I brought a soft drink for Kirk, and a bag of chips.
She was smiling at Kirk when I went back in; he’d evidently made some comment she thought was funny. “Here, son,” I said, setting the drink on the desk and opening the bag of chips for him. He seemed more than satisfied and it struck me that for the first time, he had his family all in the same room and he was happily occupied. Such a small, simple thing and yet something we’d not been able to provide him until now. Even now, she would be leaving.
“Look, Silver. Why don’t you hang around and have dinner with us? I make a pretty mean steak and it might make you feel better to see what things are like for Kirk. I’ve got an apartment nearby where I stay when I’m in town. Kirk will have his own room and when he’s with me, we’ll be here in town. You can come and see him any time.”
“Thank you, Blake. I can’t think of anything I’d like more, to tell you the truth.”
I relaxed now and settled back against the cushions. I felt I’d finally gotten to the bottom of what went on in her head and now maybe we could get somewhere.
“How’s Jill?” she asked me. There was some tension in her voice and I knew just exactly what prompted it.
“Fine, I suppose. I don’t see her really ever. I’m always on the move from one store to another and I left the ranch in her charge. I put money in the account and she looks after things. You might call her a farm manager, actually.”
She nodded and seemed appeased by my casual reference to what she probably expected was a hot and heavy situation between her sister and me.
“How many stores do you have now?” she asked, and by all appearances was truthfully interested.
“Hmmm … don’t mean to sound arrogant, but I’m not exactly sure if it’s 132 or 134. I’ve got people who supervise these openings and I lose track of what opens when.”
“You seem to have quite a success on your hands, Blake. I’m very proud of you.”
“That means a lot to hear you say that. You know … I didn’t open in Baton Rouge to be your competition.” I left the reason implied and knew she understood.
“You aren’t. We have contrasting demographics.”
I felt a little let down by her response, perhaps foolishly so. I w
anted her to realize that my opening in Baton Rouge had been an effort to be close to her, and the boy. She was looking at it from a strictly business point of view. She was tough as nails and always on the defensive. I wished I could bring her out of that frame of mind.
“I’m hungry,” came the boy’s voice from across the room. I stood up and extended a hand to Silver. The three of us took a table at the rear where there weren’t any customers seated this early in the day and a server took our order. “Daddy, tell me about riding on the bulls,” Kirk asked and I obliged.
In the most PG-rated sense possible, I explained what a rodeo was and the various events. I talked about the animals and the idea of a successful ride. “Will you take me sometime?” he asked.
I glanced at Silver and she was smiling. I took that as tacit approval and said, “Of course, son. We’ll do that real soon.”
The chef outdid himself, knowing who the customers were, and Kirk’s steak burger had a smiley face made with thinly sliced veggies and a milkshake with a volcano topping. He was intrigued and played with it for a while before drinking it. Silver seemed to relax more and more, even laughing aloud at times.
After dinner, I had planned to take Kirk to an animated film and invited her along.
“No, I think you two need some time without me tagging along. Thank you, Blake. You’ve made this much easier for me.”
I hugged her quickly and Kirk gave her a chocolate kiss on the cheek as she waved and left. I turned to him and realized this was a first. I’d never spent time with a boy this age and certainly not my own son.
I reached for his hand and we went out through the kitchens. I patted the chef on the shoulder as we passed and I could tell he was pleased to be acknowledged.
Kirk and I watched a film that was about fish with recognizable human characteristics and faces. He was fixated on the mammoth screen, his face reflecting the appropriate emotions from scene to scene. I was more interested in watching his face. He looked so much like me and yet, his profile gave me Silver. I sort of choked up as I thought about it. Here he was, a part of her and a part of me and yet she and I couldn’t seem to get together to be with what we’d created. There had to be a better way.