“Yeah, I guess. Just really shaken up about these calls, that’s all.” Dylan shrugs his shoulders but I know deep down he’s never going to be able to rid himself of the uncertainty of the situation. Knowing that it’s more than Cane and this mystery caller weighing on his mind, that it’s more about his guilt over not being able to save Shane, has me in knots. I hate seeing him like this and he has to learn how to forgive himself or he’s never going to be able to move on.
Exiting the building, an icy blast of winter air whips across our faces. “Fuck, it’s cold!” I snap my jacket closed and pull my leather gloves out of my pockets. We walk to our cars in frigid silence, partly quieted by the weather, partly by the guilt that is consuming us both.
Ours are the only cars in the lot. “Where’s the Jeep?” he asks through chattering teeth.
“This beat up piece of shit,” I tip my chin in the direction of Maddy’s ancient Civic, “needed an oil change today. I took care of it at lunch and Maddy took the Jeep for the day.”
“Still can’t get her to give in on the new car thing, huh?” Dylan chuckles and tucks his hands in his pockets.
“Well, she’s not going to have much of a choice after Christmas.”
“You are such an over-the-top bastard, you know that?” He rolls his eyes and tosses his bag onto the passenger’s seat. A tense silence descends on us. There’s so much I want to say to him, but standing next to his car, in the icy winter air, I can’t string the words together.
I want to yell and scream at him that it’s not his fault for what happened to Shane, for what’s happening now with this girl who keeps calling the hotline. But I know it’s pointless. He won’t listen. So, I offer up the best solution I can come up with in the few minutes that I’ve had to think about it.
“Listen, it’s Christmas break for the schools. Why don’t you take a week off from thinking about it and we’ll re-group after the holidays. We can get back in touch with the principal and everything, okay?”
“Sounds good, Reid. See you in a few days.” The engine turns over and roars to life. Dylan pulls away and I know that the last thing he’ll be able to do is shut off his concern for the next week.
Another freezing gust blows over me as I hurry to my car. Sliding inside, I toss my bag next to me and blast the heat. The interior smells like Maddy’s perfume and the heat amplifies the scent. Maybe holding onto this car isn’t such a bad idea, after all. We have had a few good romps in here and I would hate to get rid of those memories.
Before I can get too distracted thinking about all of that, my phone vibrates in my pocket pulling me out of my sexy daydreams. A picture of a smiling Maddy and Braden lights up in the background and I realize I have five missed calls from her.
Swiping across the bottom of the screen with my thumb, I answer the call. “Hey, babe. What’s up?”
Initially, there’s just silence punctuated only by her sniffles. “Maddy, what the hell is going on?” Abruptly, I slide the shifter into drive needing to get to wherever she is. When the car fishtails in the icy parking lot, I take a deep breath and try to calm my nerves.
She still hasn’t said anything and I’m about to freak the fuck out. “Maddy, where are you? Why are you crying?”
“I’m at school. Come get me. I need you to come here, now.” Before I can say anything in response, she hangs up leaving me more than a little confused and extremely worried.
I try calling her back at least ten times in the ten-minute ride to the college campus, but she doesn’t pick up. Spurred on by anxiety and fear, I fly into the lot and spot my Jeep parked on the far end. The Civic screeches to a stop next to the Jeep and I see someone in the passenger’s seat.
My feet slip on the icy pavement as I race around to the driver’s side where Maddy is sitting. Maddy lowers the window and I slip my head inside the cabin. “Reid, this is Lizzy.” Maddy reaches over to the passenger and gently squeezes the girl’s arm. Her small face is hidden in the shadows, but even in the darkness, she looks vaguely familiar. Angling her head more toward the light, Lizzy’s features come into view.
I recognize her instantly.
She’s a student from Lincoln Memorial.
“You’ve been calling us.” It’s a statement, not a question. Disbelief laces through my words. “But how did you…I mean, why are you here?” I sweep my arm to the side indicating “here” as the campus parking lot.
I look at Maddy with what I’m sure is my “what the fuck” face because she smirks knowingly at me as she steps out of the Jeep. Maddy kisses my cheek and pulls her bag over her shoulder. “She followed the Jeep after school. She thought you were driving. I’ll let her explain the rest.” She hugs me tightly and the sweet smell of her hair swirls in my head. “I’ll see you after class, but talk to her.” With one last quick kiss, Maddy turns on her heels and walks toward the building where her class takes place.
I inhale the cold night air deeply. My lungs protest as the chill seizes them, but I need a minute to gain my composure. I huff out one last cleansing breath and watch the steam from my exhale curl into the night sky.
Slicing through the uncomfortable silence, the door lets out a loud creak as I open it. I twist in my seat and face Lizzy. She’s got a wad of tissues bunched up in her lap and I can see the tracks of the tears that she’s been crying streak down her cheeks. Whatever it is we need to talk about can’t be said in the darkness. I reach up and turn the overhead light on and I’m shocked to see that her face is all beaten and bloody.
“My God. Lizzy, what happened?” I don’t even let her answer as I reach into my pocket to call the police.
Her icy-cold hand stops my dialing. “No. Please. Wait. Just let me explain.” Through her wobbly and unsteady voice, I can hear determination and strength. I put my phone away and hand her another tissue from the box sitting in between us.
“Okay. Talk to me then. Is this about Cane?” I’ve put on my best counselor voice, but I’m sure that she can hear the fear there.
At simply mentioning his name, Lizzy recoils in her seat. She ghosts her fingers over her split lip and my gut churns in disgust. “Did he hurt you, Lizzy?”
“No!” she barks out. “No, he would never…it wasn’t him…it was…oh God, I don’t even know where he is. He just left.” Sobs wrack her tiny body and I can no longer make any sense of her words as she muffles them into her pile of tissues.
“Shhh…it’s okay. Just calm down and tell me exactly what happened.” I try to keep my voice steady and relaxed, even though I’m feeling the exact opposite.
After a few moments of awkward silence, her crying slows and she regains her self-control. “Cane is my best-friend. We’ve know each other since kindergarten.” She pauses for a minute to blow her nose—loud and not at all sounding delicate. When her breathing is steady, she continues her story, “He asked to borrow my glue stick, and when I wouldn’t give it to him, we ended up wrestling over it. We had to stay inside at recess for detention and I guess we hit it off because we’ve been inseparable ever since.” A cute, little smile curls at her lips as she retells her childhood memories.
I don’t want to interrupt her, so I bite my tongue stifling the long list of questions that I want to ask. Giving her the space she needs to piece her story together, I don’t say anything.
“We dated when we were in ninth grade. But really, it was the same thing as being friends. We played video games and skateboarded and all that stuff. One day, I tried to kiss him because, well, that’s what boyfriends and girlfriends were supposed to do. He wasn’t too keen and we got into a huge fight. We didn’t talk for a few months after. I was really hurt and just couldn’t bear to be around him.” Staring up at the ceiling, she huffs out a frustrated sigh as she swipes away a few more tears. She lets an amused laugh go and her shoulders sag with relief.
“I don’t know how I didn’t see it before we dated, but I guess when you’re best friends with someone you just get so used to who they are that you don’t qu
estion anything about them. They’re always there, no matter who they are.”
“What happened, Lizzy?” Even though I’m pretty sure I know where this is going, I want to hear it from her.
“I was the first person he ever came out to.” She cries a little more and slumps down in her seat. “I think he knew for a long time, but our ‘dating’ forced him to admit it even to himself. He made me promise not to tell anyone and I never did. Until…”
More tears and sobs. More pieces fall together. More ugliness in a world when it’s the last thing any of us needs.
“A few of the guys on the football team got suspicious. Something about Cane not wanting to change in the locker room. Apparently when they approached him about it, they didn’t like the way Cane answered their questions, so they accused him of being gay. I can only imagine how scared he felt. His deepest secret was suddenly exposed to the meanest and least understanding people in the school.”
“Was this when you started calling us?” I hand her another tissue, and squeeze her tiny hand offering her some kind of reassurance that she did the right thing.
“Yeah. He told me what happened and that he was afraid for his own safety. He started talking about running away and I didn’t know what to do. When I saw you and Mr. Hopkins at the school last month, I followed you out to the parking lot. I saw you get into this Jeep. Then today, I saw the Jeep drive past my house. I only live down that block.” She points over her shoulder indicating the road leading down to the college campus. “After this happened,” she runs her finger over her nearly swollen-shut eye, “I was just sitting on my front steps, wondering what the hell to do when I saw your car drive past. I didn’t mean to scare your wife. I didn’t realize it wasn’t you driving. I’m real sorry.”
Of all the coincidences, I’ve never been more thrilled to be stuck with Maddy’s shit car in all my life. Without it, Lizzy and I never would have crossed paths.
“So can you tell me about how that happened?” Considering the damage to her face, I should have called the cops the second I saw her.
“Those football guys that I told you about…”
“They didn’t touch you?” Anger bubbles deep in my chest and I clench my fists until my knuckles are white with tension.
“No, it was a group of their girlfriends. They said that I needed to keep my fag in line and stop him from hitting on their boys.” I hear her cringe on the word “fag” and I can recall the venomous words that fell from my father’s mouth the last time I saw him.
“They beat the crap out of me and told me the guys did the same to Cane. I’ve been trying to call him since after school, but he’s not picking up his phone. I’m so scared.” Lizzy wraps her arms around her waist, a vain effort to comfort herself through her returning cries.
“It’s okay, Lizzy. We’ll figure it out.” Even though I want to believe the words I’ve just spoken, I’m not so sure about how to fix this. I’m not sure that it can even be fixed.
“You stay in here and I’m going to make a few calls. Try calling Cane again and call your parents to let them know where you are. And try his parents too. Maybe they’ve heard from him.” She nods and focuses on the tasks I’ve just given her. Having something to do seems to help her calm down a little more.
I call the cops and let them know where we are and what happened. They’re sending the closest dispatch car and it should be here in less than five minutes. Next, I call Dylan who is more than a little relieved at finally having figured out who the caller has been. He’s also on his way and should be with us in just a few minutes. I call Momma last and let her know that we might not be there to get Braden in time to put him to bed. Of course, she’s never put out to spend more time with him, so she gladly offers to help out and take him overnight.
Sirens blare and lights blaze as a few cop cars pull into the lot. Lizzy and Cane’s parents are next to arrive. Concern weighs heavily on all of their faces. In a panicked frenzy, Dylan pulls into the lot last. He offers whatever insight he can into the calls he received and the information that we have from the school, including the principal’s number.
By the time Maddy’s final ends, we’re still in the lot and she’s completely shocked by the scene before her. “Is everything alright?” She drops her bag to the ground and stands next to me. We both look on as Lizzy talks to Cane’s parents. Everyone’s eyes are red and puffy from the cold and the tears.
“It’s not okay just yet, but they’re working on it.” I explain that the police have already filed a missing person report and have also called the parents of the football players and their girlfriends to bring them in for questioning. They’re not too confident that the other kids, or their parents for that matter, will be all too cooperative, but they have to start somewhere.
By the time everyone leaves, I’m more than exhausted. “You did a good thing tonight, Reid. Lizzy was really scared and you helped her. I’m proud of you, babe.”
Burying my face into her neck, I squeeze her as tight as I can and let her strength seep into my bones. “I just hope they can find him before he does something stupid. It’s just not fair.”
Maddy cups my jaw and her teary eyes stare sadly into mine. “No, it’s not, baby. But you just made it a little bit fairer. Come on, let’s get you home. I’ll even make you dinner.”
I waggle an eyebrow at her and she swats at my chest. “You mean you’ll make me cereal, right?”
“Nah, tonight I’ll splurge. You get grilled cheese and tomato soup. Nothing but the best for my guy.” Her playfulness and sarcasm help to lighten my mood, just a little, and I have to admit that her bright, smiling face plants a seed of hope that maybe things will turn out okay.
Watching my two men play trains together on Christmas morning has to be the highlight of my year. Reid was up so late last night putting everything together, so of course, Braden knocked it down in all of two seconds. Reid hooks together two trains and shows Braden how to drive them up and over the hills and mountains. Braden’s face lights up and he makes “choo-choo” noises as he shuffles around the waist-high train table. When a train falls off the tracks and crashes into the floor, driving itself under the TV stand, Braden says “uh-oh” and throws his hands in the air.
“I got it buddy.” Daddy to the rescue as always.
When he hands the train back to Braden, he sets him back up at the table and looks at me over his shoulder. Of course, he’s just caught me staring at him.
His ass was just in my face. Kinda difficult to ignore that.
He slides next to me on the floor and I kiss him on the cheek as I hand him his coffee.
“You look really happy this morning. And Braden loves his train. You did real good, Daddy.” He drapes an arm around my shoulders and we share a moment just watching our son drive his trains.
“I am happy.” He gives me a tight squeeze.
I know that part of his happiness has also come from the fact that we got a huge break on the Cane case the other night. The girls who beat up Lizzy confessed, under direction of their parents’ lawyers, of course. They were kicked off the cheerleading squad since the school has zero tolerance for bullying. Having to do fifty hours of community service barely seems like a sufficient sentence, but at least they aren’t going to get away with it entirely.
The football guys, on the other hand, well it looks like they will. I mean without Cane coming forward to say what happened, there isn’t much that anyone can do.
“Where’d you go?” Reid looks at me as I’m lost thinking about where Cane is. I don’t want to bring it up, being Christmas and all, but I can still see the worry on Reid’s face, the lines of tension creasing the corners of his usually bright blue eyes.
“Nowhere. I was just thinking of how happy I am too.”
We sit and watch Braden for a few more minutes before the phone rings and Reid gets up to answer it.
“Hey, Dyl. Yeah, Merry Christmas to you too.”
Braden chooses this moment to start thr
owing a mini-tantrum, his cries making it somewhat impossible for Reid to talk on the phone. After I hear him ask Dylan to hang on a minute, he turns to me. “It’s about Cane. I’ll be right back in.” My stomach twists in knots as I watch him walk down the hall to our room.
In the few minutes that he’s in our bedroom, I create all kinds of crazy scenarios about where Cane is and what happened to him. Most of them are just too scary to focus on for more than the briefest of seconds. Even though I try to distract myself with Braden, driving trains and making silly faces, I can’t shake the feeling that something horrible happened.
I shoot up from the floor when I hear Reid walking back out to us. “What did he say? What’s going on?”
“He’s okay.” On those two simple words, I see the weight fall from his shoulders, the lines around his eyes smooth, instantly.
I band my arms around his waist burying my face in his chest. “Oh, Reid. That’s amazing. Where is he? Did he come back home?”
Reid pulls me over to the couch holding me in place on his lap. “Cane ran away to his aunt and uncle’s house. Took the train there in the middle of the night. It turns out that he came out to them over the summer and they said if he ever needed anything, he could go to them, so he did.”
I lace our fingers together and run my thumb over his wrist. “Was he hurt?” I ask tentatively, not sure if I really want to know the answer.
“No, thank God,” he sighs a deep breath of relief. I know this is what was keeping Reid up at night, wondering if Cane was safe. “The guys never got a hold of him, but he’s too scared to come back. Dylan just heard from Lizzy this morning that Cane moved in with his aunt and uncle and he’s going to finish out the school year in the new district.”
“Reid…that’s…really good news.” A tear streaks down my cheek, shed in happiness that things turned out the way they did.
“Yeah, it’s pretty great actually.”
We sit together for a few more minutes, not saying anything, enjoying the sight of our innocent little boy.
Let Love Shine (The Love Series) Page 6