He took me to a sound proof room and there was a table with guns laid out on it. He informed me he would be showing me how to load and put together all of these guns and we would be doing this every day until I could do it fast enough to his satisfaction. I’ve never really been around guns and tried to keep up when he pointed and told me what everything was, but I really did not know the difference between a Glock and a Beretta. I didn’t know if I should ask or he would explain.
He showed me how to put together each one, then made me do it myself. I was very slow and I was surprised how heavy everything was after using my potato gun. I messed up a few times and he snapped at me when I did, but when we were done, he told me I would get better. He left me alone for lunch and told me it would be brought up for me.
To be honest, I wasn’t sure what they would serve here. I didn’t know what special agents ate. Eventually, someone came in with a tray and there was a very lean cut of meat that looked like it was exactly three ounces and roasted vegetables. The person who gave me to me informed me that I would need to eat this way from now on to be in the best health and shape unless I was on assignment. The food was actually pretty good. I guess I would have to stop eating Hot Pockets for lunch and dinner. I wasn’t sure if they expected me to eat meat and veggies for breakfast too.
I was just finishing up when Mr. Green came back in. He had changed clothes to loose pants and a muscle shirt. He asked me if I was ready to learn how to fight. I decided not to tell him about the Tae Bo since I was dumb enough to think it was teaching me to fight. He informed me he would be teaching me Krav Maga and I was a white belt now. I would need to get to yellow as soon as possible and work my way to black.
That part was pretty brutal. He never actually punched me. He wanted me to try to hit him. I couldn’t help it and broke into Tae Bo punching and he asked me what the hell I was doing dancing around like an idiot. He wanted me to send one flat hand towards his eyes and follow up with a punch to his jaw. I was never fast enough. Every time I moved towards him, he slapped my hands down, and his hand ended up under my chin. I always ended up on the floor seeing stars after this maneuver. He ended up knocking me out and I didn’t wake up until it was time to leave.
When I got home, I didn’t do Tae Bo again. I went straight home and got into a hot bath. I hadn’t gotten paid yet, so I couldn’t buy Epsom salt to soak in. I had been given garlic salt as part of a seasoning gift set one Christmas, but never used it. I tried dumping that in the tub, but it smelled too bad.
I did admire my bruises in the mirror the next morning. Even though I had never landed a punch, I earned those bruises!
Mission Already
This went on for a little over a week. I was picking up the Mandarin better and was getting faster with putting the guns together, but it still wasn’t fast enough for Mr. Green. He said my accent was getting better, but was still pretty bad. The fight training was getting to be my favorite part. I still wasn’t fast enough to land a punch on Mr. Green, but he felt bad for me when I got knocked out for the fourth or fifth time and decided he was going too fast. He had me punching bags to get my speed up and he had a dummy head to practice the flat hand follow by the fist. My knuckles bled at first, but soon calloused over and my hands were getting tough. I was noticing new arm muscles in the mirror. I checked around on YouTube and found Krav Maga videos and watched them every night and practiced with a phantom opponent. Maybe when I got paid, I could buy a punching bag. I had stopped with the potato gun and the pigeons gave up on me by the end of the week.
I was in the middle of fight training when another new person came in. I had only met Mr. Green and Mr. Black so far. I didn’t know which color this person would be named for. I knew none of these names were their real names. They all referred to me by my real name. I wondered what color I was going to get.
A tall man in a black suit with blonde hair came in and introduced himself as Mr. Blue. Mr. Green let him know we were not finished yet, but Mr. Blue said it was urgent. He led me to an office and told me what chair to sit in.
“We realize you are not fully trained, but we need you to go on a mission. It won’t be difficult. It won’t matter that you are not multi-lingual, have not used a gun, and cannot fight yet. We just need you to pick up a package. The few people we do have here right now are doing things you are not ready for yet.”
“Just pick up a package?”
“Yes. Your code name is Mauve,” he said with a small smile. Did everyone know about my Charlie’s Angels jumper? “You will go to the airport. There will be a man there waiting. You will approach him and we will give you the dialog so that you both know you are talking to the right people and no one notices anything. You will be carrying a briefcase and so will he. You will sit down and only say the things we tell you to say. When you get up to leave, you will take his briefcase and he will take yours. Do not deviate from the script.”
“Sounds simple enough,” I said. “When does this go down?”
“Tomorrow. You will spend the rest of the afternoon studying the script.”
It sounded simple enough. I went back to the computer and logged in. This time, there was an email with a file to open with MISSION 649087 as the file name. When I opened it, there was a photo of the man I needed to approach and what I was supposed to say to him. I couldn’t take any of this home to me and I was never good at memorizing lines the one disastrous semester I took drama in high school. I forgot my lines in the middle of a performance and ran off stage and refused to go back on. I studied the script until it was time to leave.
Disaster
The next morning, I dug through my closet trying to find anything appropriate to wear to the airport. I didn’t really have anything to wear, so I just chose a blouse and a skirt. As soon as I walked into the office, Mr. Blue whisked me away and told me I couldn’t wear that. He handed me an outfit to change into.
“You bought me clothes?” I asked.
“I’m your handler. I’ll be doing things like buying clothes for you for your missions and preparing you for what you need to do. We wouldn’t normally send someone out with so little training, but we are short staffed at the moment.”
He handed me a smart, black suit and I went to change. When I got out, there was someone there to redo my hair and makeup. I normally wore it down or in a ponytail, but they wanted it up in a French Twist. I didn’t normally wear makeup to training, but I had put some on this morning because I knew they were sending me on a job. She didn’t like my makeup and made me wipe it off so she could redo it.
I left before lunch and they actually had someone drive me. I didn’t get to eat lunch and I hadn’t eaten breakfast because I was too nervous. As we were driving, I was suddenly starving. I saw a gas station and asked them to stop because I thought we had time. I walked around seeing what they had to eat. They had eggrolls, so I got two and ate them in the car.
We got to the airport early, so I sat where I was supposed to sit and played on my phone like I was supposed to be there. My stomach started rumbling and gurgling. I wasn’t feeling too great. I was breaking into a cold sweat and I wanted to go to an airport store and see if they had any antacids, but the guy was showing up soon, so I didn’t want to get up.
I felt the air stir as someone sat next to me. I was nearly doubled over at this point and trying to pretend I was fine. I looked over and it was the man I was supposed to meet. He placed his briefcase next to mine and sat next to me.
“I hate crowded airports,” he said.
What I was supposed to do was ask him where he was flying to. I went to open my mouth and it was watering under my tongue. Please, not now! Before any words could come out, I wound up vomiting all over his suit. He jumped to his feet in disgust.
Mr. Blue was on us in seconds. I didn’t know he was there watching. He was acting like a concerned third party and was fawning over me while the other man just looked down at me, disgusted. He got me to my feet and was helping
me out, but not before he switched briefcase. I was able to notice that as I was stumbling around.
He helped me to the car, but did not get in with me. I would have preferred the car take me home, but they took me back to the office. Mr. Blue was waiting and ushered me upstairs to a bed.
“You stopped at a gas station. Did you eat something?” he asked, crossing his arms.
“I ate two eggrolls,” I moaned from the bed, holding my stomach.
“You thought eggrolls from a gas station were a good idea?”
“I was hungry.”
“Why didn’t you eat some place cleaner, like the airport? You have food poisoning. You could have ruined everything. That man doesn’t work for us. We were exchanging information.”
“I was nervous and thought I wouldn’t have time at the airport,” I managed to say before I vomited again. He had brought me a bucket and turned his head with a disgusted look while I puked my guts out.
The next thing I knew, someone was coming in to set me up on an IV. I asked why this was necessary and was informed I was expected to be back in training tomorrow, so they didn’t want me getting dehydrated. That was when she stormed in. I had never seen, nor met her before. She towered over my bed in six-inch stiletto boots. Her black hair was cropped below her eyes and it looks like I might cut my hand on her cheekbones if I tried to touch them. I kind of figured that would never happen and if I did ever try to touch her, I would end up on the floor in worse shape than when I sparred with Mr. Blue.
She did not give her name. She just looked down at me with her arms crossed.
“Is this the idiot who threw up on a very important client?”
I tried to answer, but I threw up again. She jumped back and I just sat there praying I didn’t splash her with it.
Mr. Blue answered for me and said I had a bit of food poisoning.
“How did she manage that? Did they not explain to her how we expect her to eat now that she’s here?”
They did and I wasn’t thinking about that in the car. I didn’t think I could get lean meat and vegetables anywhere quick, so I just grabbed the eggrolls. I was really hoping he didn’t tell her I stopped for the eggrolls.
“She had a slip-up. She’s new and she’s only been in training less than a week. It was too early to send her out on her own, but we didn’t have anyone else to go and I thought this would be simple.”
“If she can’t handle something as simple as a handoff, perhaps she doesn’t belong here.”
“She’s progressing well in training. She’ll get better.”
I was glad he was sticking up for me because right now, the only things I could see in my head was the look on the guy’s face when I puked on his nice shirt and her face looking at me like she’d like to physically kick me out the door.
“She’d better. I’m keeping an eye on her now,” she said sternly as she turned on her heels and left.
I didn’t know who she was, other than she petrified me, so I asked in between dry heaving. I was told no one knows her real name and I am to call her She at all times. I am never to make her angry and if I see her again, it will not go well for me. That’s when I found out all the ways she knew how to kill me or knock me out. I wondered if I would be taught that too. All I really learned was that I pretty much never wanted to see her in this line of work.
Both Mr. Black and Mr. Green came to check on me. Apparently, they knew about the eggrolls. I could tell they were trying not to laugh at me because their faces were screwed up and their eyes were watering the entire time they sat next to my bed. Mr. Green finally exploded into laughter and had to leave the room. This set Mr. Black off and he also had to leave. I was just glad Mr. Blue stayed to take care of me and didn’t laugh.
I told myself I was going to work harder at my training so that the next mission they sent me on did not go wrong. I was going to become fluent in Mandarin and learn to land a punch on Mr. Green. If I needed help because I was hungry, no more gas station food. I would call Mr. Blue and ask for help.
I messed up now, but I was just learning!
What do a group of hackers, a hairless cat, and a botanist with a foot fetish have in common? Special Agent Mauve-Mission: Naughty Horace is now available. Little Mauve got her own full length book
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Other works
Literary/Psychological
Midnight’s Sonata
Feet of Clay
Bette, Unscripted: A Dark Psychological Drama
Crow Girl
The Flight of Crow Girl
Paranormal/Science Fiction
Flash-A Death Story (The Usas Book 1)
The Usas Bellum Justum-The Just War (The Usas Book 2)
Lilith
Romance
Salome-A Modern Retelling
Humor
Attack of the Lesbian Farmers
So Your Cat is Trying to Kill You
Special Agent Mauve-Origins (Book 1)
Special Agent Mauve-Mission: Naughty Horace (Book 2)
Special Agent Mauve-Mission: Viper (Book 3)
Fantasy
The Spirus (Book 1)
The Spirus-Belisarus’ Diary (Book 2)
The Spirus-The Lord’s Uprising (Book 3)
The Spirus-The Gifted Child (Book 4)
Coming Soon
Child of Fire, Child of Ice-A Sci-fi Romance
The Neighbors-A satire
Special Agent Mauve-Mission: Scorpions
Special Agent Mauve Origins Page 2