by Mina Carter
He opened his eyes as Tovan unclipped the gauntlets, wonder in his eyes and a smile on his face. “Your mate is resting peacefully, and her prognosis is good. My lord… you did it. Well done.”
Laarn smiled, his gaze flitting over the sleeping woman. Her color was good, and all she needed now was rest. As did he.
“Thank you, my friend. Wake me in a couple of hours.”
With that, he made his way to organize a cot so he could sleep next to her.
18
He looked worn out.
Jess lay on her side, watching Laarn sleep on the cot next to her bed. She’d woken a while back, warm and comfortable, surprised to find herself in the healer’s hall and, it appeared when she investigated her stomach, healed. There was no wound, or even any dressing, to mark where Dvarr had plunged a knife into her stomach. Panic had assaulted her, her first thought for the baby she carried, but within a few seconds a sense of warmth and calm had washed over her and the worry had receded. Try as she might, she couldn’t bring it back. Everything would be okay. The baby was fine… Laarn would have seen to it.
He really was handsome. Her gaze wandered over him. He lay on his back on the cot, his wide shoulders filling the narrow space. He’d left off his jacket, so all his scars were on display, but they didn’t bother her. Instead, she traced each and every one with her gaze. They were proof her man was amazingly strong.
“I always worried that they’d bother you.”
His deep voice was low and rough. She blinked and looked up. He hadn’t moved at all, but his eyes were open, watching her intently without a hint of sleepiness in his gaze.
“Why would you think that?” She kept her voice low to match his. Intimate. Secrets shared just between the two of them.
He shrugged one big shoulder slightly. “I read your medical texts. Humans remove scars whenever possible. Jane corroborated that as well, said it’s common and your species also alters their appearance with cosmetic surgery. These…” he paused, and indicated his body. “I’ll never get rid of them. I will always have them.”
She frowned, shook her head as he levered himself up to a sitting position. His hair, unbound, fell around his shoulders as he rested his elbows on his knees to look at her. There were lines of strain around his eyes and he still looked tired.
“I don’t want you to get rid of them. They’re who you are. And, despite the fact that some of my species are all-consumed by appearance, I’m not one of them.”
She moved to sit up and he was there instantly, strong arms wrapped around her to help her.
“Easy there, you just had major surgery. You might be a little sore,” he warned, settling her back against the pillows. She refused to let him go, wrapping her hands around his heavily-muscled upper arms and looking up into his face.
“The baby?”
A smile curved his lips. “Our daughter is fine. Healthy.”
“Oh, thank god.” Relief made her feel weak and she leaned her forehead against his shoulder, savoring the embrace. “I was so scared, Laarn. I couldn’t do anything to stop him killing her… me… We would have been dead if you hadn’t rescued us.”
He’d come to her rescue… and she had to let him go. Her relief faded away, replaced by misery. She loved him but she had to let him go, had to let him live the life he would have had before she’d forced decisions upon him.
Gathering herself, she looked up, into the green eyes she loved so much.
“Thank you for saving me too… I didn’t expect you to. I just wanted you to save her.” Drawing a shaking breath, she let him go. Every cell in her body cried out at the loss but she steeled herself against it. Her baby was alive. That’s all she needed to know. All she could… would… ask. “But I’d like you to leave now, please.”
“What?” Sharpness entered his voice as he stood in front of her. “Leave? You’re my mate… and in case it escaped your notice, I’m also your healer. I’m not going anywhere. Jess? Jess… look at me. Has this got something to do with what you said before? That I didn’t want you?”
“I heard you talking.” She managed to get the words out but refused to look up, mangling the sheets over her lap in her hands. “Heard you tell Karryl that you’d never intended to implant… to get me pregnant. That you never wanted to claim me.”
Taking a shuddering breath, she looked up, knowing tears welled in her eyes but not able to do a damn thing about it. “So I release you from the claim. I’ll divorce you, or whatever the hell the Lathar call it… I’ll let you go to live your life.”
He looked down at her, his face unreadable, apart from the small muscle in the corner of his jaw that pulsed. “We have no divorce.” His voice was hard, pulsing with anger. “You can’t release me from the claim.”
“But why?” It was a plea, pure and simple. “I thought you’d be happy about it.”
He moved, faster than she’d expected, and gathered her into his arms, drawing her into his lap on the bed. She gasped as his lips claimed hers, determined that she wouldn’t respond. That lasted all of three seconds before she whimpered and kissed him back, her emotions overwhelmed. She hadn’t thought she’d get the chance to kiss him again, either through her own death, or letting him go. Whatever, being in his arms again hadn’t seemed at all likely so she had no defenses against him.
When he lifted his head, she was breathless… looking up at him silently.
“You’re not releasing me. I’m not releasing you,” he growled, strong fingers under her chin. “For the simple fact I love you, and I’m fairly sure you love me too.”
She blinked, eyes wide. “You… what?”
“I love you. And I’ll keep kissing you until you believe it.” He leaned down to kiss her again, this time his lips lingering for long moments.
“You only heard half the conversation with Karryl. If you’d stayed to listen to the rest, you’d have heard me tell him that no, I didn’t want to claim you… but I’m so fucking glad you did the claiming. You’d have heard me tell him that I didn’t want to implant those pregnancies, because I wanted to get you pregnant the old-fashioned way… but that I’m not sorry that you are.”
He tucked the loose strands of her hair behind her ear gently. “Jessica Kallson, I’ve loved you since I saw you kneeling on the floor when we captured your base. Why do you think I kept pulling you in for tests? I didn’t need them. I just wanted to see you, and I was too much of an idiot to realize it. I thought…”
He dropped his head back for a moment and closed his eyes.
“This is going to sound so fucking stupid. As healers we’re always told that we can’t have emotions, that we can’t feel because it interferes with our ability to heal. I didn’t think I could take a mate and still be a healer. Still be the lord healer the empire needs.”
Her hopeful mood, the seed that had been growing in the center of her chest, stalled. “I-I wouldn’t want to stop you doing your job…”
“You won’t.” He dropped his head and speared her with his gaze. “When Dvarr took you, I was terrified I’d lost you… when I saw you fall…” His expression became haunted.
“Nothing mattered anymore. All my life it’s been about duty, about becoming strong enough, skilled enough, to become lord healer… about saving the Lathar. But when you fell, when I thought I’d lost you—” He broke off and shuddered. “I didn’t care about any of it. Without you, there is nothing. No meaning. No reason for any of it.”
The raw emotion in his eyes, in his voice, brought tears to her eyes. She couldn’t look away, reaching up to touch his face, smooth her fingertips over his jaw. Opening her mouth to speak, she didn’t manage a word before he cut her off.
“No, please… let me get this out.” He settled her more comfortably against him. “I had always been told emotions were anathema to a healer. That we should remain dispassionate and neutral. But when you were there on the table, someone taught me that emotions are the most powerful weapon I have as a healer. Taught me to use them.
I wouldn’t have been able to save you without her or that lesson.”
He slid his hand into her hair and tilted her head up for another kiss. “I love you, Jess. Now, please, put me out of my misery and tell me I haven’t lost any chance of you loving me back.”
He loved her. He really loved her. Tears in her eyes, she shook her head. “I’ve always loved you, from the moment I saw you, I think. I just couldn’t bear to think that I’d forced you into a shotgun wedding, or that you were only with me because of the baby.”
“A shotgun wedding?” He frowned, a puzzled smile on his lips. “Does that mean I have to kidnap you from your family armed to the teeth to make you mine? I’ll do it, if you need me to. Whatever you need, whenever you need… I’m yours, Jess. I love you. Be mine?”
“Yes… yes!” Throwing her arms around his neck, she hugged him tightly, burying her face against his neck. She never wanted to let him go.
“I love you,” she mumbled into his hair, her eyes closed in sheer and utter relief. “Please, don’t ever leave me again.”
“Love,” he rumbled by her ear. “I don’t intend to let you out of my sight ever again. The last time I went off planet you managed to get yourself pregnant. The next time, I plan on getting you with child myself.”
She laughed, pulling back to look at him. His green eyes were alight with love and amusement. Reaching up, she kissed him again. It was a long, slow kiss, delicate and sensual but full of promise and love. Finally, she broke away to look at him and frowned.
“She?”
He blinked, confusion on his face. “What?”
“You said she… that she taught you to use your emotions? Who was she?”
She ran through the names of the human women on the planet in her mind, wondering who it was that had that level of wisdom and awareness so she could thank them. But Laarn just smiled and moved to place a big hand on her stomach.
“Our daughter.”
Deep within, almost as though she could feel her father’s hand, there was the tiniest flutter. Jess gasped and looked into his eyes for confirmation. He nodded, spreading his fingers wide as if to protect them both.
“She’s aware of us both, and powerful. A more powerful healer than I am for sure. She helped me see that I needed to use my love for you to save you, and she helped me do it. You’re mine, Jessica Kallson, both of you. And I’ll love you both as long as I live. On that, you have my word as lord healer, a warrior…”
He dipped his head again and brushed his lips over hers.
“…And the man who loves you.”
The End
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ABOUT THE AUTHOR
Mina Carter is a New York Times & USA Today bestselling author of romance in many genres. She lives in the UK with her husband, daughter and a bossy cat.
Connect with Mina online at:
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Table of Contents
Copyright
Table of Contents
Chapter 1
Chapter 2
Chapter 3
Chapter 4
Chapter 5
Chapter 6
Chapter 7
Chapter 8
Chapter 9
Chapter 10
Chapter 11
Chapter 12
Chapter 13
Chapter 14
Chapter 15
Chapter 16
Chapter 17
Chapter 18
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About the Author