Slow Ride Home (The Grady Legacy)

by Leah Braemel

  “Okay, then let’s say you never used to dwell on the past the way you do now.” He held out his hand, palm up, waiting for her to take it. “Let go of the past, Allie. Let’s see if we have a future together.”

  “You make it sound so simple.”

  “Why can’t it be?”

  His soft question speared through chest and lodged in her heart. After all she’d been through, how could he ask such a question? She met his gaze, seeing no guile hidden in those beautiful blue eyes. Wondering where she’d have been, where they’d be, if he proposed to her all those years ago, she whispered, “Because life isn’t simple.”

  * * *

  Nearly an hour had passed since Allie had finally placed her palm in his. The conversation between them flowed between her life in Houston and progeny tests for the upcoming breeding season, a discussion of irrigation problems over in Biscuit Pasture and crop yields with the current drought.

  A pair of crows cawed overhead and cattle mooed in the distance—probably the dozen head of Guernseys Butch kept to provide the ranch with fresh milk as they lumbered up to the milking shed. The grass and weeds on the edge of the path they followed thickened as they reached the edges of Amaleen Creek. A few months ago, they’d have already been knee-deep in water and had to have waded a good twenty feet, up to their thighs to get across, but at this time of year the creek had dried up to little more than two feet wide. One of the dogs lapped at the edge of the thin stream, while the other splashed across, snapping at flies it disturbed in the bushes on the opposite side.

  Allie sought out the shade of massive live oak and perched on its lowest branch overhanging the creek. “I’ve missed this, being able to walk without dodging traffic or breathing smog.”

  “I can’t imagine having to live in town all the time.” Ben hiked himself up beside her, resting one booted foot in a fork in the trunk. “Sure I went to college and lived in a city then but College Station isn’t as crowded or smoggy as Houston or New York. And Bozeman isn’t much bigger than Carter Valley.”

  “Bozeman? Montana? When were you up there?” He must be referring to a visit, not living there. Or maybe something to do with his courses at Texas A&M?

  “About a week after you left. I worked on a ranch for the summer.”

  “Before you went to college?” When she’d known him, he’d never wanted to leave Bull’s Hollow for anything other than school. The ranch was his whole world. What on earth had made him leave his beloved home?

  He jumped down and strode to the side of the creek, his face unreadable in the shadows of his hat. “You remember how Gramps and I got in this big fight about me going to college and how it was a waste of money.”

  “Yeah.” It had been that fight that resulted in him being assigned to fix that long stretch of fence. The one Logan had convinced her to go out with him and help Ben fix.

  “Well, after you left we had another huge blow up. He...” He shook his head and stared at the crow circling overhead. “He was a total asshole.”

  “Color me surprised,” she said, pleased she’d managed a dry tone instead of the very real shock she felt. While she’d known George was an asshole, Ben had always defended his grandfather. That he finally admitted they had a common ground on the matter, was...well, yeah, she was shocked. “What was it over this time?”

  She clamped her mouth shut before she could blurt out, “Me?”

  “He lit into me about how he’d found out you and Logan had helped me fix the fence when he’d specifically said I was to do it alone.” His head whipped up and he met her gaze, his eyes wide in shock. “Shit. How come I’d never put that together before? There’s no way he could have known that unless...”

  “Unless he’d had someone following us,” she finished. Taping us.

  “Fuck.” He paced along the water, the dogs happily following him.

  “Let me guess. He made you tear down the fence and re-install it all by yourself again?”

  “I don’t know what he had planned. He was yelling at me. Telling me that I wasn’t taking my responsibilities seriously. That I’d never earn a place on the ranch the way I was headed. That it was a damned good thing he’d caught...” He heaved another deep breath and faced her again. “That he’d caught your father stealing so he could kick you off the ranch too. That you’d been a bad influence. A distraction I couldn’t afford.”

  “My dad said the same thing to me about you after we left.”

  His chin dropped to his chest. “Gramps really fucked everyone over, didn’t he?”

  Pretty much. She jumped down from the branch and trailed him along the edge of the stream. “So you left?”

  His shoulders hunched, and she barely heard him say, “Yeah. After he said that I was a fool. That I’d cost the ranch a lot of money because I’d been taken in chasing...”

  “Chasing what?”

  “You.”

  “He didn’t say it that way, did he? Let me guess, he called me a whore. Or a slut?”

  He nodded. “His exact words were ‘after a piece of cheap pussy’.”

  Even though she’d been expecting something similar, hearing it spoken aloud was like being stabbed in the heart.

  “He was yellin’ at me so hard he got red in the face. Pop kept telling him to calm down or he’d give himself a heart attack.” He pinched the bridge of his nose. “I told him I wished he would. Both Gramps and Pop told me to leave. So I did.

  “I told him I was never coming back. That I’d find somewhere else to work. Somewhere I’d be appreciated. Told him I wouldn’t set foot on Bull’s Hollow land unless he was pushing up daisies.”

  The roughness in his voice, the guilt filling it, tore into her. She wanted to hold him, to let him know she was there for him, but she dared not touch him in case he stopped talking.

  “I packed up my bags that night and took off. I ended up working as a hand up in Montana and stayed there until school started.” His voice had changed, grown flat and he stared into the distance, his jaw hard. “He had his first heart attack right after New Year’s. Even then, I stayed away. I didn’t know how to come back. Undo what I’d said.”

  A proud man like Ben wouldn’t want sympathy, but still she murmured, “I’m sorry.”

  “I let ’em down, Al. Ma and Pop took a lot of shit from Gramps because I’d walked out and left them short-handed. Gram blamed his heart attack on me—I don’t know if she’s ever forgiven me completely. Even if I didn’t agree with him, he was family. And Gradys—”

  “Look out for their own.”

  “But I didn’t look out for him, did I?”

  Her pledge not to touch him crashed to a halt at the shudder that went through him. Allie caught his hand with hers. “You didn’t let him down. And your grandmother’s wrong—you’re not responsible for his heart attack. You must have reached some sort of accord in those years before he died.”

  He nodded. “We just pretended it never happened.”

  “I know how that works. Those last months I lived with dad, we played the same game.”

  He squeezed back, hard, as if she were a lifeline. Until he faced her with that same fierce determination in his face. “You didn’t let your father down either. Don’t ever think you did.”

  How had he turned the conversation around to her so neatly? “That story, about you working on Montana, was that made up for my benefit? Or did you really walk out?”

  “It’s all true.” He stared at their joined hands, his thumb making circles on hers. “I’ve been thinking a lot about how your father never told you about why he was fired. How he let you think you were to blame. None of it was your fault, no matter what he said. So stop carrying that guilt around your neck like an albatross.”

  “Rime of the Ancient Mariner?” She smiled up at him, her heart aching that he could still see through her so clearly. “You copied off my notes in that class.”

  He lowered his head and skimmed kisses along her jaw. “Guess I learned something after all.”<
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  The heat of his breath shivered over her skin. If she didn’t stop this soon, she’d be flat on her back beneath him again. Not that there was anything wrong in scratching that particular itch, but she wanted to get to know him better before they did it again.

  She lifted his hand, and fingered his gold Aggie ring. “Or you were forced to take a class in reading comprehension at college?”

  “I was, but we didn’t discuss Coleridge.”

  “Going for bonus points for remembering the author?” She deliberately kept her tone light at the emotion swamping her.

  “I’m not going to push you into anything, Al,” he said softly. “All you had to say was stop or no, or just pull away.”

  Disconcerted by how well he could read her, she nodded.

  He leaned down and brushed his lips over hers in a feather-light kiss. “I’m glad you’re here.”

  To her surprise, so was she.

  Maybe it was the way the wind ruffled the leaves above, or the water babbled over the stones along its path, or maybe it was just the truce finally settling into her soul, but a peace settled over her like a comfortable mantle, and the knowledge that she hadn’t driven all this way out simply to yell at him about not phoning. She’d needed to see him. She’d needed to know if they’d had a future, just the way he’d wondered aloud earlier.

  She reached up and cupped the back of Ben’s head and pulled him down to meet her. His eyes widened for just a second, or maybe they were still wide, but she’d closed her eyes and brushed her lips against his. His hand skimmed down her back to cup her behind and bring her closer. There was no urgency to the slide of his tongue over her lips, but there was no hesitation either. Though it started out sweet and soft, the heat rising between them, each breath on her cheek, each touch of his fingers where he touched her breast, where his other hand dug into her behind, sparked an intense need to touch him too.

  Her fingers slid beneath the opening of his shirt, fumbling with the button as she tried to ease through the hole. A giggle escaped, along with a murmured oops when the threads holding it in place popped and the button pinged off her chest.

  “Don’t worry about it.” He broke off the kiss and stepped back to help her unbutton his shirt. But as he looked down the brim of his hat hit her on the tip of her nose.

  “Ouch!” She clapped her hands over her face and bent over. “Damn it, that hurt.”

  “Sorry.” He cupped her chin and lifted her head. “It’s not bleeding and I don’t think it’s broken.”

  She blinked a few times and waved her hand until she realized how silly it must look. “I’m being a baby, but your hat’s got a hard brim and it hit at the wrong angle.”

  “Sorry,” he repeated. “Guess that’s why Jake likes wearing his baseball caps backward.” The corners of his eyes crinkled. “Talk about a mood-killer, huh?”

  Before she could respond, an ATV roared over the hill on the opposite of the creek.

  “Speak of the devil.” Ben frowned. “Wonder what brings him out this way.”

  Ben’s brother Jake pulled his quad to a stop once he was level with them. Ignoring his mutt as it greeted Ben’s two dogs in the usual fashion, Jake turned his hat so the brim covered his eyes. Despite the shadows, she got the distinct impression he was sizing her up.

  He’d gone from a skinny teen to a full-grown man since she’d last seen him. Where Ben kept his hair trimmed short, Jake’s brushed the top of his shoulders. Where Ben had his father’s blond hair and reddish beard, Jake had his mother’s chestnut hair. He also had his mother’s mouth, which on Cissy was soft and feminine, but on him, it worked.

  Though she wasn’t sure why she felt the need to brace herself, Allie took a deep breath. “Hello, Jake. It’s good to see you again.”

  “Hey, Allie. How you doing?” His gaze swung to his brother. “Nice to see you didn’t take Logan’s advice to heart.” At Ben’s flinch, Allie wondered what Logan’s advice had been. “Have you seen Jason or Seth around? I can’t find them.”

  “I set them to clearing the brush out by that new stock pond we dug the other day. They should still be there.”

  As they discussed the missing greenhorns and some of the other chores that needed to be done, Allie picked up the stick one of the dogs had hopefully dropped at her feet and threw it. Though they were both equal owners of Bull’s Hollow, Allie wondered at the way Ben talked to his brother. It wasn’t that he treated Jake like a hired hand or bossed him around, she realized. But he was definitely taking charge of the conversation, acting as if Jake wasn’t as involved in the decision making. From the way Jake responded, he was happy with the relationship though. Guess it was better than having too many cooks in the kitchen.

  When the dog dropped the stick at her feet and nudged her, she realized Ben and Jake had walked away. Though she couldn’t hear what they were saying, Ben’s expression was rigid, his shoulders tight. Whatever they were talking about was stressing him. The tension didn’t ease when Jake climbed on the ATV.

  “See you later, Allie.” Despite his pleasant tone to her, Jake shot a glare at his brother, then, his jaw clenched, took off along the path to the ranch’s main yard.

  Okay, maybe Jake wasn’t happy with Ben being in charge.

  She caught her breath when Ben snatched a rock from the side of the creek and chucked it at a tree twenty foot away. Bark exploded off the tree as if it had been hit by a bullet, betraying just how much force he’d used.

  “Damn it! We lost another hand. We lose a couple more and we won’t be able to get the crops in and we’ll not be able to afford...” He pinched the bridge of his nose. “Fuck. We’re going to lose the ranch even before we prove Panola’s a fraud.”

  “You won’t lose Bull’s Hollow. That’s why I’m here.” She flattened her hand over his back and stroked the muscles tense beneath her fingertips. “And you can hire more hands. There are always people needing work.”

  “It’s not just...” He bit off whatever it was he was going to say and cursed softly. “I can’t get through to him. He’s shutting me out.”

  “Jake?”

  His shoulders slumped. “I don’t know what’s going on with him. He used to love this place but now, it’s like he doesn’t care anymore. Ever since Pop died...well, he gave up caring about anything. It’s like we lost him too. It’s like he doesn’t want to be around anyone anymore. He’s arguing with Ma a lot. He’s even moved out from the house. He’s living over at one of the cottages we used to rent out to hunters. The damned stubborn fool won’t talk to me anymore.”

  “I’m sorry.” While she’d often said she mourned her father when he’d walked away from her, he was alive, which meant there was always a chance for a reconciliation. Jake would never again have that chance to speak with his father.

  But... “He wasn’t the only one who lost his father. You did too. And your mother lost her husband, and your grandmother lost her son. None of you are walking away from your responsibilities.”

  * * *

  He might argue that his mother was lost in her own world of grief, but it was nice Allie saw his point of view. Why the hell am I the only one running the ranch here? What the hell is Jake up to? He’s an equal partner, so why isn’t he stepping up to the plate? Seemed like every frickin’ day since his father died, Jake was avoiding him. Taking the jobs at the farthest part of the ranch or running into town on some task or other leaving him with all the decisions.

  “What was Logan’s advice that you’re ignoring?”

  Ben rolled his shoulders. Jake never used to cause so many problems, and hadn’t meant to this time but why couldn’t his brother have kept his mouth shut? “He suggested I keep you at arm’s length. At least until Tank’s idiot claim is finished and there’s no danger that I might piss you off and muck things up.”

  “I see.” Her jaw set, she narrowed her eyes at him. “Was the other day—in the back of your truck—was that a form of keeping me off balance or handling me? Or all this talk t
oday?”

  She’d increased the distance between them, not that he could blame her. As much as he wanted to touch her, to hold her, he stuck his hands in his pocket. “No. I’m not trying to handle you or play any games. Believe me, I didn’t plan the swather breaking down or you coming out to help...or making love afterward.”

  “Why should I believe you?” The question, asked so softly he had to strain to hear it, tensed his shoulders again.

  Given what his grandfather had done to her, she had every right to be suspicious. She probably expected the video to pop up online.

  “You either trust me or you don’t. I could argue with you about it until the cows come home and not get anywhere. All I have to give you is my word.” A concept that meant little to most of his generation these days. “I don’t play games. I don’t have time for ‘em. I realize I haven’t done anything to earn your trust back yet, but I promise, making love to you the other day was spur of the moment. And as I said then, I don’t regret it for a second.”

  Though she obviously did.

  “The other day...what was happening when Jake came along just now. It can’t happen again. I need to keep my head clear on this case. And you...distract me.”

  You distract me. Not a bad thing as far as he could see. “I can keep my hands off you, but far as I remember it, you were the one kissin’ me and pullin’ off my buttons back there.”

  The cutest hint of red tinged her cheeks as she looked away. “I know. I’m just saying we both need to try harder to keep our distance.”

  What damned fool nonsense had Jake’s comment put in her head? “All right. As long as you look me in the eye and say you know I’m not the bad guy. That I wasn’t the one who walked away or hurt you before.”

  “I know you’re not.” But she didn’t look him in the eye.

  Frustration filled him. “Look, I’m not trying to push you into a relationship.” Okay, maybe he was. Why, he wasn’t quite sure. Although his mother’s complaints that he was stubborn and hardheaded might be a clue. She’d been the one and he’d never found someone he’d connected with like they had ever since. Or maybe it was just that he was lonely too. “I get that your husband cheated on you. I understand that Gramps hurt you. And that you were abandoned by your father.”