by Lee Piper
In my peripheral vision, I noticed cool grey eyes assessing me. “You all right?”
Looking at Finn, I shrugged one shoulder. “Sure.”
He stared at me for a long time, silent. It was unnerving, and I suddenly felt the need to clean something.
Unfortunately, there were not any grimy surfaces nearby, so I started to babble instead. “Look, it’s complicated. I mean, I’m good, but on the other hand, I’m not good. I’m just … you know … half-good.” I groaned, throwing my head back against the seat. “I don’t even know what I’m saying.”
Thankfully, Finn ignored my verbal diarrhea and changed the topic instead. “You’ve really done a number on him.”
I glanced at Finn but his stare was directed at Dominic. His back was to us and he was in the process of laughing at something Redhead had said, my stomach tightened to the point of agony.
“He looks perfectly happy from where I’m sitting.”
“Then you can’t see it.”
“What?”
“Desperation. I’m surprised you can’t see it, it’s obvious.” Finn’s eyes met mine, his gaze so direct I had to force myself not to look away. “Dom needs a woman on his cock, Riley.”
I blanched at his directness, my cheeks no doubt flushing crimson. “Well, he’s not far off it,” I returned, referring to Redhead. The bitterness in my voice was telling.
Finn’s gaze softened. “He needs a good woman, Riley. That woman with him now? I’ve seen him with girls like her for most of my adult life. He fucks them and leaves them before they can fuck him over.” He shook his head. “It’s sad.”
I looked back at the woman who was shoving her cleavage into Dominic’s face and was surprised to find him still breathing. Not that he seemed to mind. In fact, I was sure death by breast asphyxiation was top of his Most Awesome Ways to Die list.
“You like him.”
My startled gaze flew to Finn, who was watching me closely.
Am I really that obvious?
His eyes were clear and so perceptive I was sure he could see straight through me.
Sighing, I whispered, “I don’t want to.”
“But you do.”
I nodded.
“Dom’s a broken man, Riley.” I raised an inquisitive eyebrow but Finn shook his head. “Not my story to tell. All I can say is he’s been through more shit in his twenty-four years than some people get in their entire lifetime.” He stared at me. “I’m not defending him. I love the guy like a brother but he can be a complete asshole to the people he cares about.” He shrugged. “It’s messed up, but true.”
I shifted in my seat, uncomfortable at the astute gaze roving my face. Honestly, I might as well have cut my heart out and handed it right on over to the guy for inspection.
“I hope you know what you’re doing.” Finn’s gaze shifted to Dominic again and mine followed suit. “Because he hasn’t a fuckin’ clue.”
Finn’s last statement took me back to a time when I felt equally lost.
I woke up screaming. Again. For the third night in a row, the faceless people of my nightmares pressed against me, blocking me, stopping me from finding him.
My brother.
God, I missed him. I wished it was all some practical joke and he would pop up from behind the couch like he used to when we were little. But he didn’t. He was gone, and despite everyone’s best efforts, he was gone for good.
I prayed he was okay.
“Mummy?” I whimpered into the darkness.
“Shhh, child.” Rose’s head popped up from the temporary cot at the foot of my bed. Ever since The Day Everything Changed, she set herself up in my room. Usually, I felt calmer knowing she was there, but not that night. As I woke from yet another nightmare, a large part of me desperately wished she did not have to be there in the first place.
“I want Mummy.”
Rose heaved her large bulk up off the single mattress with a dramatic groan and waddled over to where I sat shivering under the goose down blanket. “Darlin’, your mamma needs her rest,” she crooned as the bed dipped under her weight. “Let her sleep. It’s been hard for everyone.”
I was cradled against her side as she hummed a lullaby I had never heard. Eventually, the soothing lilt of the song relaxed me and I sagged against her, exhausted. I felt safe with Rose, she didn’t stare at me with dead eyes and scowling lips like the rest of the household. She didn’t grow quiet the moment I stepped into a room or turn away as though the sight of me was too painful to bear.
I messed up, I knew that. With every ounce of my nine-year-old body, I wanted to make things right, truly I did. But I couldn’t, he was gone.
Mum hated me.
Dad ignored me.
And it was all my fault.
****
The remainder of the flight passed in a blur and I was thankful to finally disembark. To be honest, I was even more grateful to see the back of Redhead at the luggage carousel—petty but true. I scowled as she sauntered away with her leopard-print suitcase and a satisfied sway of her hips after slipping Dominic her phone number. However, by that point, all the guys were in total band mode, so he merely nodded, shoved the business card in his jeans pocket and then spent the next forty-five minutes taking careful inventory of all the equipment piled in front of him. They had piles of the stuff. From guitar picks to traps case, speaker heads to foot pedals, those men had not taken any chances because they brought everything. And I had nothing to do except sit on my Louis Vuitton bag, watch and wait.
So, watch and wait I did.
Just as Finn finally gave the all-clear on the last symbol in his drum kit, yet another beautiful woman—this time a brunette in her early twenties—hurried over. “So sorry I’m late,” she panted.
It took Dominic all of five seconds to envelop her in a hug, though something in her playful squeal and gentle laughter immediately set me at ease. They were friends, good friends, nothing more.
I liked her.
Once she was let go, Tyler embraced her, followed by Finn. I could not help but notice the faint color staining her cheeks when she and the drummer held each other a bit too close and for a moment too long.
Interesting.
Dominic and Tyler did not notice, or if they did, did not seem to care. I, on the other hand, was very curious. After all, any woman who could get under the skin of a man like Finn must be pretty remarkable.
When the man in question took her hand and steered her over to me, I pretended not to have been scoping them out and quickly stood.
“Katrina, this is Riley.”
“Hey.” Katrina smiled and a cute dimple appeared on her left cheek. If it wasn’t for the ripped jeans, dark woolen knit sweater, and black leather jacket, I would have described her as adorable.
“Hi.” I grinned back.
Finn shared a look with Katrina. “She’s with Dom.”
“No, I—”
“She’s not—”
Dominic and I glared at each other, and then at Finn. His grey eyes held a mischievous glint which I did not appreciate at all.
Katrina’s gaze darted between Dominic’s and mine, shocked. “I can’t believe it,” she murmured.
I had no idea what she was on about and thankfully did not have time to ponder it further because Tyler rounded us all up like stray cattle and herded us outside.
It was freezing.
Instinctively, I wrapped a free hand around my upper body, trying to maintain as much body heat as possible while pulling my suitcase behind me. I had heard Melbourne was cold, but I did not expect it to be so bitter in late spring. Sadly, the wind cut straight through my cashmere and all of my warmer clothes were unhelpfully color-coded at the very bottom of my luggage.
Cold. So cold.
A huge black hoodie was thrown in my face. “Put it on.”
I glared at Dominic.
Can the man be any ruder?
“I’m fine.”
“Wear the fucking hoodie, Riley.”
Tyler,
Finn and Katrina had moved over to where Katrina’s olive green Savana was parked in the express arrivals lane. It was a timely coincidence because none of them would witness me taking my momentary insanity out on the man standing next to me. A perfect crime.
I turned to face Dominic and tried to ignore the way his short-sleeved t-shirt clung to obscenely protuberant biceps, I was in half a mind to cover them up myself. “What’s with you?” I hissed. “Why are you being such a jerk?”
He stepped closer, blue eyes narrowing, and I hated how my knees trembled—from the cold. “I just gave you my hoodie because you’re freezing your tits off and you’re calling me a jerk?”
I stood tall. “Yes, I am. You’re a jerk.” Then, poking him in the chest with my index finger, I angrily spat, “A. Big. Fat. Jerk.”
“I’m fat too, huh?” His eyes softened.
“Obese,” I snapped.
I was making no sense, Dominic knew it and I knew it, but damn if I wasn’t angry with the guy. I had just watched him chat up another woman after he went down on me in my own kitchen, for God’s sake. Who did that? And then I stupidly admitted to one of his band mates how much I liked him.
It was humiliating.
I was humiliated.
Thus, the stupidity.
His hand delved into my hair, cradling the back of my head and I bit my lip. “Put on the hoodie, angel.” Dominic’s voice was gentle but I looked away, blinking back the tears that threatened to spill.
After a minute, I relented and he helped me into it. The sweater was huge. His earthy scent lingered on the fabric and waves of nostalgia rolled over me. I suddenly yearned for the beach, for a time before my heart felt so wrung out and exposed. Shaking my head, I fixed my disheveled hair and then glanced up at Dominic again. He looked pained. With a noisy exhale, his thumb skimmed over my damp cheeks.
I did not even know I was crying.
“C’mon, let’s go.”
I blinked, wiped my eyes and then looked from him to the others. “Aren’t we going with them?”
Dominic shook his head. “Need to check-in with my bro first. I’ll meet up with those guys later.”
“Oh, okay.”
He grabbed his gear and indicated to the taxi waiting nearby before striding off. I nodded and followed suit. After a few steps, I glanced back, Finn was watching me closely. His eyes were unreadable, but even from a distance I recognized the concern written all over his features. Ignoring this, I turned and walked away.
****
We stepped into the hotel lobby where Grace and Levi were staying and I liked the place immediately. So much so, that I decided to book a room for the remainder of my stay. To be honest, having my own space was probably the wisest decision I had made in a long time and since Dominic was crashing at his aunt’s, I was guaranteed it.
Yay, me.
Moments later, we moved into the lobby bar called Oblivion. There were low patterned couches surrounding circular wooden tables, each with its own twinkling tea light candle placed in the center. The soft, atmospheric music wafted through ceiling speakers and helped create an aura of unassuming elegance. I bit back a smile; Grace must hate it. Not that it would stop her from drinking here, though. If nothing else, the girl was pragmatic when it came to her alcohol.
“This place is shit.”
I turned to glare at Dominic. He was leaning against the bar, his elbows resting on the polished auburn wood with a beer in hand. After shooting a furtive glance at the barman, I hissed under my breath, “He’ll hear you.”
Dominic snorted, not in the least concerned. Fortunately, the barman was busily restocking the spirit bottles. It was like he knew Grace was coming.
When I looked back, Dominic had his phone out and was texting. I gripped my own drink tighter, determined to remain silent.
It was useless.
I crumbled almost instantly.
Clearly, patience was not a strength of mine. So, referring to Redhead, I muttered, “You don’t waste any time, do you?”
I hated the bitterness in my voice, it irritated me, and Dominic’s uncommunicative response made my ire even worse. So, picking up my beer, I made to leave.
“What the fuck’s your problem?”
I turned around. “Excuse me?”
He moved to tower over me and I was hit with a waft of mint. Angry mint. Heck, I could even see my own furious reflection in his eyes he had moved so close. “I said,” he slowly enunciated, “what the fuck’s your problem?”
Lifting my chin, I retorted, “I can’t believe you messaged that girl, and what’s worse is I seriously can’t believe I care. But I’m standing right in front of you, for God’s sake.” My voice caught, emotional turmoil was beyond exhausting. “Don’t you see me at all?”
Dominic took the bottle from my hand and placed it on the bar, his jaw working hard. “I see you,” he replied, his voice deadly quiet. “Fuckin’ hard not to.” After a brief pause, he seemed to collect himself and asked, “What girl?”
I groaned. “You’re kidding me, right? The redhead who was all over you on the flight out here. The one with the enormous—” I stopped, blushing.
Dominic was silent for a moment, so I took the opportunity to take off his gigantic sweater, fold it carefully and then press it against his solid chest. “Here.” I honestly could not deal with him anymore, I just wanted to go upstairs and either drown myself in the bathtub or drink myself to death—either option was fine with me.
He made no move to take it back.
“I didn’t text that chick, I texted Levi.”
My eyes flicked to his and after searching his face for a solid minute, I knew he was telling the truth. There was a sincerity in his features I trusted instinctively, though whether my faith in him was misplaced or not remained yet to be proved. Regardless, a pent-up breath escaped me. “Oh.”
Dominic’s gaze narrowed. “What do you care, anyway? You’ve got a boyfriend, remember?” He spat the word as though it were a fly in his beer.
“No, I don’t.”
“The pussy bought you a goddamn rosebush, he’s your fuckin’ boyfriend.”
I placed the sweater on the bar next to my drink and turned back to Dominic. “Look, I’m not gonna lie, Robin’s a really sweet guy—”
“Don’t say that asshole’s name to me.”
His torso heaved with ragged breaths so I placed placating palms flat against him. Yeah, it was disturbing how much I craved physical contact with the man. I shook my head. “We’ve been through this already, Dominic. He’s not my boyfriend. Look, he went overboard with the flowers, I’ll admit.” He growled, and I bit back a smile. “But to me, he’s nothing more than a nice guy who likes to deliver scented gifts after a first date.”
“Yet.”
I stared at him, confused.
“He means nothing more to you, yet.” Dominic’s eyes were piercing and I swear, in that moment he saw my very soul.
Wow.
We both stood there, staring at the other for God knew how long. The air grew denser, our pulses raced and Dominic’s hands covered mine like it was inevitable we were going to be torn apart.
“This is bullshit.”
“I know.”
“We should have just fucked when we first met. Got it over with.”
I bit back my reply.
“Now we’ve got all this other shit in the way.”
“You mean, emotions?”
Dominic looked like he was in physical pain. “I hate this, Riley. Really fuckin’ hate it.”
I shut my eyes, willing his anguished voice to have been a figment of my imagination. Willing my own pathetic heart ten times stronger so it could pack up its bags and get the hell out of there. There was no doubt about it, falling for the emotionally unavailable sucked hairy yak balls.
He groaned and crushed me against him. I buried my face in his neck and wound my arms around him, virtually cutting off any air supply. To be fair, we didn’t need it, without the other we s
truggled to breathe, anyway.
Strangely, despite the desperate, cruel way we clung to each other, the contact felt so comfortable, so reassuring, so … right. I sighed. And then started, because Dominic flung me to the side just as quickly as he reached for me.
It was the story of my life. Clearly, I needed a new one.
“Gracie, Dickwad.”
He had done it again. Dominic turned from Mr. Deep and Meaningful to Class Clown in under five seconds. His bipolar was seriously messing with my equilibrium. Which probably accounted for why it took me so long to gather my wits together, shove his sweater into my oversized handbag and slowly make my way over to where Grace was threatening Dominic with physical violence.
Man, I missed her.
In fact, she must have already punched Dominic because her right arm looked pretty sore, she was rubbing it while glaring up at him.
“How about I take a look at that arm for you?” I asked.
Grace instantly threw her arms around me, crying, “Riley,” and I hugged her back. It was the warmest greeting I had received in a very long time. “It’s so good to see you.” She moved away slightly, her eyebrows creased in confusion. “Hang on, what are you even doing here?”
Oh, you know, tormenting myself with the unattainable. The usual.
I bit back a snort.
Instead, I plastered on my most winning smile and said something about wanting to watch the boys play, blah, blah, blah. It was partly true, and I really was thrilled to see her again, I just wished… Never mind.
Anyway, after I finished my spiel, Grace turned and smiled adoringly up at Levi.
Whoa.
Is Grace…? Oh my God, is she in love?
Grace Anne Thompson, serial man-hater, skeptic of anything with two legs and a penis, was in love. It was illogical. My world officially shifted and resettled slightly left of center. And during said realignment, I not-so-subtly tried to wipe the incredulous grin off my face. She was my best friend, after all, I was ecstatic for her.
Dominic stepped closer to Levi and I was once again reminded of their similarities—physical similarities. Emotionally, Dominic lagged behind somewhat. Anyway, both men sported the same tousled hair, strikingly blue eyes, and plump, kissable lips. It was a mirror image of the sexiest kind. However, the main point of difference was when Levi gazed at Grace with open reverence. He did not hide it, fight it or pretend their connection was not real. In fact, it looked like he was still pinching himself about the whole thing.