by Paul Kelly
“I... I was just going to say, Danny, that I don’t know what I’ll be doing... you know, now that I’m... I’m on my own... but you mustn’t let that deter you in anything you want to do... and of course, that means Seyone as well. You both must feel free to do what you wish and of course, you can stay on here until you have decided what you want to do. I want you both to realize how grateful I am for all your care and attention to... Paul,” Willie’s voice was ragged and she found it difficult to say Paul’s name. Danny too, was upset by her demeanour and a lump came to her throat as she listened to what Willie was saying.
“Thank you Willie,” she said at last, after what seemed an eternity in just sitting there and waiting. Words didn’t come easy. “I’ll tell Seyone. We will be sorry to leave this house. It had... lovely memories for both of us and we have been very happy here.”
“Not with my bad temper and insufferable ways, surely,” Willie asked sadly as she gazed into the fire.
“Now that our services are no longer required, we...” Danny hadn’t completed her sentence when Willie stared at her.
“What ever do you mean? I’m not thinking of your services. I’m thinking you will want to go further into your careers and of course... in time, get married. I don’t want you to think that you are in any way obliged to stay... now that... Oh God, what am I saying?” She held her head in her hands and cried like a child, as Danny put her arm around her shoulder. “I don’t want you to go... either of you, but I have no right to ask you to stay... I mean, please stay as long as it suits you and as I have already said, I would like to buy you a house whenever you decide to get married... Preferable near here, but I cannot persuade you in any way... It’s just that I’ll... I’ll miss you.”
Danny knew she too was going to cry.
“I would like to help in the house in any way I can, Willie,” she said quietly,” and I’m sure Seyone will feel that way too. We had planned to apply for a nursing position at St. Mark’s and work for some time before getting married, so that we will have saved enough for a deposit on a house by that time. Thank you Willie but I think that is too generous of you... and of Seyone and I...”
“Seyone and you should do as you are told,” Willie scolded affectionately and smiled as she took a locket from around her neck and opened it slowly. “We had plans to do so many things together, Danny, “ she said, “Find a little place in the country, away from everything and everyone, with only a little puppy dog, didn’t we darling?” She said as she glanced with love and spoke to the face in her locket, “But I can’t run away into a convent now, can I sweetheart, although that’s just what I feel like doing.” Danny watched her as she stared at the oval photograph of Paul and ran her fingers over his image. “I wanted to do everything for him, Danny, as I did when we were in Devon. He would smile and never complain, even when I cut his chin accidentally with the razor when I was shaving him.”
Danny put her hand out and touched Willie.
“You wouldn’t really go into a convent, would you Willie?” she asked and Willie glanced back at her with surprise and with a strange look in her eye.
“Hardly,” she said and laughed heartily... “What would I do with Paul if I went in there, with him following me everywhere I went. The good Sisters wouldn’t like that, would they? No, I could never do that, but I want to be different from now on. I want to be the woman that Paul thought I was... and what he wanted me to be... and I could never marry again.”
Danny looked away, but there was fear in her eyes.
“Seyone and I will be here for as long as you want us, Willie,” she said tenderly and Willie closed her locket as she closed her eyes.
“My headache has quite gone now Danny. I suppose it’s because you’ve taken such a load off my mind. I dreaded being here on my own... Do you know that?”
Danny gathered the tea cups in her tray. “I think I’ll have an early night now, Danny. Please tell Seyone of our arrangements and I do so hope he will agree to stay. I would like both of you with me.”
Chapter Twenty-Six
It was a day of normal chaos in theatre one... But none of the operations were what Willie would describe as critical... more routine really, a few old head wounds that had to have secondary treatment and a couple of skull dressings where the tubes had to be removed, but she had learnt to treat every case on its own merits and never... never to regard them as anything other than individual...
“What time is it nurse?” Willie disrobed as Staff Nurse Gifford pulled a round drum of gauze dressings from the shelf in the sterilizing room, “I think I must have left my watch in the scrubbing-up room.”
The Staff Nurse didn’t answer, but as she balanced the drum in her arms, it fell, crashing down and bursting open to shower its entire content across the hard tiled floor. She and Willie stared at the swabs as they bounced around the floor at their feet, before Nurse Gifford burst into tears and ran back into the duty room as Willie rang for a porter to help gather the swabs, now as totally unsterile dressings, from the floor. She joined the nurse and flopped down in a large armchair in the corner of the room near the coffee percolator and didn’t look or say anything as she quietly picked up a torn towel that lay on the table.
“I’m sorry, Doctor... I don’t know what came over me. I’ve never done anything like that before... well, at least, not since I was a probationer,”
Willie rolled her sleeves down and fastened them at the wrist, making it appear to be a job of the greatest importance as she pursed her lips and Gifford was aware of her silence.
“I’ll go and clear up the mess, Doctor... I just hope the drum is not badly damaged,” Gifford said, but Willie kept her eyes on the tear in the towel.
“Sit down Nurse. No need for you to go. I’ve seen to that,” Willie said briskly and with a serious face..
“I really am sorry Doctor. I’m only grateful that your day’s list is over and I can have the dressings renewed and the drum sterilized in the morning.”
“Never mind all that nurse and tell me what’s really troubling you,” asked Willie as she knew the competence of Nurse Gifford and this was something that should never have happened, even if it was an accident... It wasn’t in character for Staff Nurse Gifford to lose her cool... and above all... It just wasn’t done in her theatre... Gifford tried to avoid the question and leave the duty room but Willie put her arm out and stopped her just as she got to the door. “The bloody drum can go to hell and we can replace the swabs any time... Now I’m asking you again... What is wrong?”
The Nurse went pale and her lips started to tremble... Willie pointed to another chair nearby. “Sit down... Sit down, for gawd’s sake, or you’ll fall down woman and don’t tell me again that you’re sorry. I want to know what’s wrong...”
The nurse spluttered her excuse, almost as if by automation. Her eyes were large and she spoke in short quick bursts.
“My sister... my sister... Emily... my sister,” she said and Willie reached over to the percolator and poured two cups. She wished she could have a cigarette.
“What’s the matter with Emily,” she asked sharply and the nurse wet her lips with her tongue and looked about her. Her face was grey with the pallor of fear.
“Her doctor thinks... He thinks she has a tumour... a tumour.” she said, repeating the last word that frightened her so much and Willie guessed what she wanted to say from the terror in her face, but even she, could not say the word for a few seconds...
“A brain tumour,” she said at last and Nurse Gifford closed her eyes and took a deep breath.
“Yes... Yes, that’s right Doctor.”
Willie sipped her coffee from the plastic cup and passed one to Gifford.
“How old is your sister?” she asked, quite unemotionally.
“Seventeen... She’s six years younger than I am,” she said and Willie played with her
coffee, swirling it around in the cup and still wishing she could have had a cigarette.
“Is she married?” she asked with a look of pain in her eyes, expecting Nurse Gifford to look at her in surprise when her sister was so young, but her answer made Willie look twice.
“Yes Doctor... and she is acting as though there is nothing the matter with her... nothing at all,” she replied and Willie looked around the room slowly. “No children, I suppose?” she enquired as she brought her vision back to Nurse Gifford who started to cry.
“No... well, not yet. She’s two months pregnant.”
Willie put her cup down on the table and threw the torn towel into a large linen bin nearby.
“Give me her doctor’s name and address and leave it with me for the time being but nurse, you mustn’t forget that although a person becomes a doctor, he or she is not infallible. It could be a misguided diagnosis, but I don’t want to build up your hopes until I’ve spoken to her doctor, understand?”
The nurse nodded through her tears.
“My God... I hope it is. I hope she is wrong. I can’t sleep for the worry of all this and Ryan is worried sick too.”
“Ryan? Is he her husband?”
“Yes.”
“And what does he do?”
“He’s a plumber, Doctor... well, he’s still an apprentice, but he only has... No, he hasn’t... that’s what we tell anyone who asks.”
“What?”
“He is only just starting his apprenticeship, but he is nearly twenty-six... a bit old to start, don’t you think? So we tell people he only has six months to go before he’s qualified.”
Willie smiled... so even in plumbers and the like... the pride still shows... she thought.
“You know, Nurse... I once knew a patient of mine who was ninety-seven, but she told everyone she was ninety-three... God knows what that four years did for her, but it did something... It made her feel happier, so what the hell. Your sister’s husband is a plumber... that’s all you need say...”
Willie thought her narrative might cheer Nurse Gifford, but she was also thinking more about the young man who was the apprentice... and how lucky he was to be just that... or a carpenter... or a milkman... or whatever else young normal men did for a living... just as long as they were alive...
“It’s a very noble and worthwhile trade to be a plumber, Nurse. Do you know that? You can do without lots of things, but you’ll always need a loo... and he’ll never be out of a job.”
***
Emily Marshall, nee Gifford, didn’t look a day over fourteen and certainly didn’t show her four month’s pregnancy as she lay on the examination couch in her pink chiffon negligee.
“I understand you’re pregnant, yes?” Willie asked as she handled her stethoscope lightly in her left hand.
“Yes Doctor... Two months... I’ve been told.”
Willie smiled proudly and felt Emily’s pulse as she talked with her.
“That’s very nice. What do you want? A boy or a girl..?”
Willie took her stethoscope and studied Emily’s breathing as she asked her question.
“We don’t really mind... as long as it’s healthy, Doctor.”
“Yes, of course... That’s the main thing, but sometimes people do have a preference, you know. Now I’d like to take your temperature and I’ll just shove this thermometer under your arm... so lift...”
“I thought they always took temperatures by mouth, Doctor.”
“Yes, we do sometimes, but I want to get it back again and if I talk to you with this thing in your mouth, I’ll get rather mumbled answers, won’t I... or else you’ll give me the thing back in little pieces.” Emily laughed... “And you wouldn’t be able to laugh either, or you’d swallow the ruddy thing.” Emily laughed again and raised her arm.
“I’m ever so grateful that you are going to see my own doctor. Eileen told me. That’s nurse Gifford.. She’s my big sister.”
“No problem, I assure you.Now this won’t hurt. Your arm will feel a little tight, that’s all,” Willie explained as she wrapped a band of cloth around Emily’s arm and took her blood pressure. She then put her sphygmomanometer back into its case and closed the lid. “You are to be complimented, you know. You’ve kept your figure... It doesn’t show,” she patronized, but kindly and Emily laughed again... a little nervous laugh.
“It does in the mornings. I’ve been sick ever since I started and the headaches never seem to go away,” Emily said and Willie looked into space as she sympathized.
“Do you have one now? A headache, I mean?” she asked and Emily nodded. “ “Not as bad as I usually get them, but then I suppose it’s like going to the dentist, isn’t it... the toothache goes as soon as you get into his chair... “ she said and Willie looked at her with a certain envy for the innocence of her ways. “Alright now Emily... I’ve got Doctor Greigson’s notes here. Dr. Anne Greigson... is that right? A woman doctor and I’ve never heard of her... I’m slipping, aren’t I?”
“She’s only been here about three months, I think... but she’s not very young... I would think she must be in her thirties.”
“Oh... that is old... isn’t it?... Now I want to get you into hospital as soon as I can so that you can have a scan. Is that OK?”
Emily looked frightened.
“A scan,” she said... “Is that what they do to tell you the sex of the baby?”
Willie turned away from her and smiled into her examination gloves.
“No sweetheart. I’m going to examine your head... where you have these headaches... Not your belly... well, at least, not yet.”
“My sister said that sometimes doctors can make a mistake in their diagnosis, is that right?”
Willie looked to the ceiling and wished Gifford had kept her big mouth shut, but the stable door had been opened and the horse had bolted...
“No... you mustn’t worry about that, Emily... Doctor Greigson has only suggested that you have an X. Ray... There is no definite diagnosis in her notes...”
“But I thought...”
“What did you think dear?”
“Well... I thought with all these headaches, I might have something more serious... and Doctor Greigson did say that she thought it might be... well, you know?”
Willie wished that Doctor Greigson had also kept her big mouth shut, but there was nothing she could do about that by this time as she tried again to reassure Emily and hoped that old Doctor Greigson was wrong... but she had her doubts...
Chapter Twenty-Seven
Willie clipped the x-ray picture into the screen and turned on the light. She studied the pictures from various angles and decided to admit Emily Marshall to her ward in the hospital.
Dr. Greigson was right in her diagnosis... there was no doubt that something was there, subcutaneously, it seemed, but it could have been under the surface of the skull and she wanted to explore before she could be absolutely sure that major surgery would be necessary. She obviously considered that due to the circumstances of her patient... her age and the fact that she was pregnant, an operation should be the last resort and she thought about a simple biopsy at first, but that would only mean further delay and she was concerned... The operation did not worry her unduly, but Emily’s pregnancy of two months, did... Could she save the mother with a risk to the unborn child? and if by some chance, which she reluctantly had to consider... that Emily didn’t pull through,... could she swiftly revert to her gynaecological knowledge, but with little experience... to save the baby? If there was a possibility of a benign result from the Path Lab., then her problems were over, but those results wouldn’t be with her until late afternoon... Her dilemma came at her from all sides... and she wanted more than anything to save the apprentice-plumber’s wife and their new baby and she wondered what he was like... this old apprentice of twenty s
ix... as she returned the X-Ray films to their satchels.
***
Staff Nurse Gifford paced the floor of the duty room and waited...
“Try not to worry, Nurse. We can do nothing until we hear from the Lab. and then we’ll get crackin’ on the worries if we have to.”
The Nurse looked at Willie and a weak smile crossed her face. She was happy that she had such an eminent neuro-surgeon as her friend and she had seen her work at first hand.
“You’re right, Doctor. Of course you are... I’ll just have to get my head down and get on with my work until we hear,” she said, “Which is the first on our list?”
She studied the daily schedule. “It’s the skull laceration.”
Willie looked at her notes and was about to correct the Staff Nurse. It should have been the mastoidectomy, but neither was in a race and they both had to be done by lunch time.
“Sure... that’s fine Nurse. I’ll have the laceration first.”
The little boy with the mastoid trouble was only three, but Willie had assured the parents that everything would be done for him and asked them to phone the hospital around noon, when she hoped he would be back in the ward and into the land of ‘nod’ after having had the mastoid removed... successfully. The parents phoned exactly on the hour of twelve noon and the little boy was fine, but still under the anaesthetic... and the results of Emily’s X-Ray from the Lab. sat on Willie’s desk as she went into the duty room for coffee after the morning’s list was over. It seemed so far, so good... Everything in the Theatre was running like clock-work... but Emily’s tumour was indeed in need of an operation. It was situated, just inside the skull bone and very flat and close to the surface, so that it appeared as though it might simply be subcutaneous and could be removed by a simple incision, but Willie knew she would have to bore through the skull surface and excise the tumour carefully in this way, making sure that she got all the poison with her first attempt. Any drips could have serious results and could be fatal. Emily would have to have her operation that same day.