by Jeff Hale
His attention was on me now and hopefully I had succeeded in my intent; to distract him from his own pain, even for a moment or two.
I faced him again, saw his eyes lighting on the rounded scars from the spikes, saw something flash through them that made him flinch. “One of your kind, I think. She conjured projectiles of silver from thin air, disabled me with those, then took a silver chain whip to me. She was upset that she slept with me… I think.”
“You said she conjured the silver? Another Sentinel? Where?”
“Germany.” I put my shirt back on.
“We’re just popping up everywhere.” He looked at the floor again, then back at me. “I have a favor to ask you.”
“I’ll do what I can, within reason,” I said.
“It’s Serena. I don’t know that I can protect her that well anymore. I’m stuck in here, I’m not sure how she feels about me… and… I’m not the same as I was, I’m not sure if I’ll ever be.” He closed his eyes, swallowed hard, shook his head sharply. “Protect her for me, please? You and Alex both? Even if it’s from me. I need to know someone is…” He shuddered, slamming his hand against the wall.
“Consider it done,” I told him, turning towards the door. Whatever control he had was gone now; I could feel the emotion roiling off of him in waves.
“You know, you can fuck Kat before you leave, if you like,” Aerick said as my hand touched the doorknob. His voice was different, a malicious tone to it.
I swung back around to stare at him; the broken man I had been talking to not a minute earlier was no longer there. Oh, it looked like Aerick, but this Aerick had a lazy, sadistic half-grin curving his mouth, arms crossed on his chest as he looked at me out of eyes burning with yellow-orange fire.
“What did you say?” I asked, dumbfounded.
He shrugged nonchalantly. “Or we can both fuck her at the same time, I think she might like it. I don’t mind sharing. If you want, I can hold her down for you.” He smirked and winked at me.
I resisted the urge to shift and tear into him; I wasn’t suicidal at the moment, and it would do Kat no good. I didn’t know Aerick all that well, but even that limited knowledge knew that this was not the Aerick that had made my Kat fall in love with him. This Aerick was far more broken than I had originally guessed.
“I refuse to have sex with Kat against her will,” I ground out.
“Pity.” He chuckled darkly. “It’s so much more fun that way.” He smiled as he watched me struggle to keep myself in check. “And it’s so much more fun if you just let it have free rein. Anyway, go, do whatever it is you want to do with Kat, you have ten minutes before I come join you.” He made a shooing motion with his hand.
I went through the door, closing it behind me and leaning against it. I wasn’t stupid; Aerick would kill me in a heartbeat if I gave him enough provocation, and I knew he could do it easily.
“Darien? What’s wrong?” Kat asked from the archway between her two rooms.
She wasn’t staying here a minute longer with that madman in the other room. I strode forward, went to reach for her arm. She jerked away so fast she stumbled into the wall. She stopped with her back against it, head turned away from me.
“Kat?” I reached out, grasped her chin to make her look at me.
A half-moan came from her throat and there was fear in her eyes when they met mine, a spike of panic rolling off of her.
I choked back a cry of anger. “I’m gonna fucking kill him.” I started back towards the door.
“No!” She grabbed my arm, pulling me back, and I could tell she was drawing extra strength from her Aspect. “No! You can’t! He’s not himself, it’s not his fault! He doesn’t mean it, not really! Please, Darien, don’t!”
“Fine! Then you’re leaving with me!” I wrapped my hand around her wrist and went for the stairs.
“I can’t!” She yanked her wrist free. “I’m his only chance, do you understand that? I’m the only thing keeping him grounded right now! If I leave, we’ll lose him for good!”
“I think it’s already too late for that! I don’t think there’s a damn thing you, or anybody else can do to save him. Whatever happened to him messed him up so bad that he just isn’t right anymore!”
“You don’t know what he’s been through!” she protested, still defending him.
“No, I don’t, and luck willing, I never will, but that doesn’t mean you have to give yourself up for him!” I wanted to grab her and shake some sense into her, but Kat was stubborn, always had been and once she had her mind on a course of action, changing it was almost impossible.
“I have to try,” she whispered sadly. “I can’t just turn my back on him, I have to try.” She moved closer, stood on tiptoe, placed her hands on either side of my face and kissed me like it was her last chance to, crying softly as she did so. She pulled away, caught me with her tear bright eyes. “Wouldn’t you do the same for me?”
I crushed her to me, burying my face in her hair, drawing her scent deep into my lungs, wanting to freeze the moment in time, but knowing that I couldn’t.
“I love you,” I told her. “If anything happens to you, I will make him pay for it as best I can and your name will be the last breath I take, I promise you that.”
“You need to go,” she said softly as I drew away. She glanced toward the door to Aerick’s room. She led me up the stairs, then back down to the dining room.
Lucien was waiting there for us. “Kat, there you are! Your friend Alex wanted to visit with Serena. She’s fine with it, but she wants you there too, if you don’t mind? I think Aerick can handle a short time without you on hand.”
“Sure.” Kat gave me a soft smile and went for the other alcove, the one that had stairs going down. She didn’t say goodbye, and honestly, I didn’t want her to.
“And Darien, Alex said if you wanted to head home, he would get a cab home later, unless you felt like waiting?” Lucien continued.
I couldn’t stay there a moment longer, I had to leave. If I didn’t go now, I would be either staying there myself or taking Kat with me by force. “Tell him I went home, that I’m sorry but I couldn’t stay. He’ll understand, I think. And Lucien? Don’t let Aerick hurt her anymore, if you can?”
The look he gave me was one of empathy. “I will do my best, but if it gives you comfort, know that all happens for a reason.”
It didn’t. I left the Flame knowing deep in my gut that I was going to lose her again, and this time, I would be joining her in whatever afterlife there was.
THIRTY-FIVE
KATELYN
Alex was leaning against the wall outside of Serena’s room, waiting patiently. He smiled when he saw me, eyes questioning me.
“He left, Alex, and I’m fine,” I said softly, although I really wasn’t fine. I hadn’t been fine since my first day here, when Aerick had almost….
Don’t go there, Kat. I didn’t want anything spilling over to Serena; she had enough to deal with on her own.
“How’s Aerick doing?” he asked me, sincerely concerned.
“He’s… it’s all up and down, Alex. He’s not good, but there are times when he’s better, times when he’s worse. At least he’s not just staring at the wall anymore.” I knocked on the door, heard Serena’s voice on the other side. “It’s me, Kat, I’ve got Alex with me.”
The door opened a few seconds later. She looked so tiny, so frail, huddled in a thick green bathrobe. Her eyes were bloodshot, surrounded with dark smudges, her skin pale. I didn’t think she was getting much sleep. Her hair was disheveled, as though she hadn’t bothered brushing it. Her eyes lit on Alex, dropped away almost shyly, and she stood back to let us in.
Her room was similar to mine, minus the steps leading down from the door; mine seemed to be the only room like that. But instead of sand for the floor, Serena’s was like soft green moss, springy under the feet. The walls were tree trunks, growing high into the ceiling, leaves and branches stretching out overhead. Unicorns played in the backg
round and I could smell lilacs. Her four poster bed had dark blue bedding.
She took us into her living room. It was more of the same as the bedroom, with a couch and loveseat done in earthy greens, blues, and browns. She sat on the loveseat while Alex and I took the couch.
“Hi,” she said, giving Alex a smile.
He smiled back. “How are you doing?”
She frowned, fiddling with the hem on her robe. “Okay, I guess, I’m not sure.” She looked at me. “How’s Ricky?”
I forced a smile. “He’s fine, talks about you a lot.” He did, he talked about when they were younger, when he wasn’t trashing his room or being catatonic or doing his best to hurt me.
She smiled then too, one of superiority. “He’s always loved me ya know, always will.” Her smile faded a bit. “Even if I am… unclean… now.”
“You’re not unclean,” Alex said in protest, “and I’ll fuck up whoever said that to you.”
“Alex, please, no need ta cuss.” Serena shook a finger lightly at him. “No one said it ta me, and maybe ya’ll didn’t see it, but if ya drop somethin’ in the mud, no matter how much ya wash it, no matter how shiny it looks afterwards, ya always know the dirt was there.” She frowned again and I could see her rubbing at her skin with the palm of her hand.
Alex leaned forward, tentatively reaching out a hand to stroke her cheek, ready to pull back if it scared her. She froze briefly, but let him do it, and I could see a small shiver go through her of uncertainty.
He held his hand up in front of her eyes. “See? Clean,” he said softly. “You’re too good for anything bad to stick.”
“Ya don’t see it? The… stain?” she asked hesitantly.
He shook his head and smiled. “Not a bloody thing, you look perfect to me.”
A slight blush crept her cheek but she smiled back at him before dropping her eyes to the floor. “Ya know, I’m kinda tired,” she said suddenly. She stood and went back to the door, waiting for us to follow. “Thanks fer comin’ ta see me, Alex, it was nice of ya.”
Alex just stared at the door as she closed it behind us and I could see his mouth tremble as he tried to hold back whatever emotion it was he was feeling. He took the stairs back up at a run and I caught up with him, putting a hand on his shoulder. He spun around, jerking away from me and a slightly hysterical laugh broke from him as he backed away from me.
“Don’t, Katie, not right now.” He leaned forward, put his hands on his knees, gave a slightly hysterical laugh. “You know, once I became a shifter I never much cared for being with human women. Too bloody fragile. I’ve slept with them over the years, but never gotten attached to one, at least not in a way that wasn’t brotherly. Until now.”
He took a few deep breaths before straightening up. “I still love you, Katie, I always will, but there’s something about her. I was beginning to feel the same about her.” He turned, slammed a fist into the wall. “Too bloody fucking fragile. We should have killed that fucker while we had the chance, should have sprayed his blood all over the backseat of Val’s car, should have torn his heart out and eaten it.” His eyes had gone dark and dangerous as he spoke. “I gotta go, Katie, I’m sorry, but if I don’t leave now I reckon I’ll tear this place apart until I find Travis and take him apart one bite at a time for what he did to her.” He sprinted off towards the exit.
I sighed and headed back upstairs. Lots of people wanted to kill Travis, but Lucien wanted him alive for now.
Aerick was waiting for me when I opened the door to my room. I went tumbling down the stairs, landing on my stomach on the sandy carpet below. I felt a bone in my arm snap on the way down and I cried out in pain. He had me on my back before I could react, forcing a shriek from me as he pulled on the injured arm. The cat in me roared up to the surface, sensing a fight.
“Where were you? Did you take your wolf someplace else and whore yourself out to him?” he demanded in that hollow tone, a sneer to his voice. He let go of my broken arm and roughly pulled my jeans down, bending down to place his face against my panties and inhale. An involuntary spike of desire went through me and I felt my cheeks burn with shame. He laughed, a slightly maniacal sound to it, as he looked up at me. “Good girl, you didn’t. You’re mine, you just remember that,” he said as he undid his own pants.
I wasn’t sure who was talking to me, only that it wasn’t Aerick. He had at least two other distinct personalities battling for dominance in his broken mind; the one that called me Guin, and the one that liked to hurt me. But that one that called me Guin, the one that spoke with that strange quality to Aerick’s voice, lately he had begun to try to hurt me too, and now, I wasn’t sure which one was in control.
I tried to squirm backwards on the floor, gasping as pain shot through my arm, even though I could already feel the bone begin to mend. “Please!” I begged desperately, and even I wasn’t sure if I was pleading for him to stop… or to keep going. He had my head and body so messed up that I was blending the violence and pain with sexual desire.
“Please? Is that what you said to your wolf? ‘Please?’ Did you beg for him to violate you?” Aerick let his jeans drop to his ankles, then stepped out of them. “Did you whisper words of lust and longing?” He knelt down and grabbed my foot, yanking me back towards him.
I pushed against him with my free foot, but he took hold of it and pulled me up against him, then began to methodically slide my jeans the rest of the way down my legs. Tears welled up in my eyes and I went limp, surrendering. It was no use struggling, and part of me, deep down, wanted it and was willing to endure whatever it took to get it.
He didn’t miss my capitulation. He ran a hand up my bare thigh, tormenting me with his touch, then gave me a look of disgust. “Wanton whore. That’s all you are. For me, for my dearest friend, for anyone who falls prey to your wiles. Worthless, that’s what you are.” He shoved me away and stood abruptly, leaning down to grab his jeans. “I refuse to foul myself with you any longer.”
I choked back a sob and rolled to my knees. I knew it wasn’t Aerick talking, but I still had to wonder, if somewhere inside him, he believed the words anyway, that they were coming from someplace within. I pulled my jeans back up and dragged myself up onto the bed as he yanked his own jeans back on, and curled up with my back to him, my arm held carefully against me as it continued to heal. For all I knew, he would be on me at any second, trying to hurt me again, but I didn’t care.
The bed dipped and I cringed. He chuckled sadistically and wrapped himself around me, his stomach to my back, his arms holding me tight against him. I could feel his hot breath against my cheek, followed by his tongue as he flicked it against the outer rim of my ear.
“They are bound and determined to keep me from what I want, one way or the other, aren’t they, my sweet?” he whispered silkily, and I didn’t need to see his face to know that his eyes would be filled with yellow-orange flame.
The sane part of me knew that I needed to tell Lucien, to tell Val, to tell someone, about these personality changes. I had kept quiet this long to protect Aerick, but I wasn’t sure I was protecting him anymore.
His hand stroked up my arm, then to my face, his thumb lying across my lips for a brief moment before it pressed into my mouth painfully. I bit down, tasting blood, and he just snickered against my ear. “Oh, you tease. Do it again.” He pressed his groin against my butt and I could feel the hardness of his arousal. Without removing his thumb from my mouth, he turned his hand and forced me to look up at him. “They’ll kill him,” he reminded me, as though he had heard my thoughts from a moment before. “You know it, I know it, he knows it. If they have even a suspicion that he’s not alone in here,” he twitched his head, “they will put him down like a rabid dog. Even if it means they have to wait for his soul to be reborn. If you’re going to sentence him to his death then you might as well just do it yourself. If you have the guts.”
Aerick rolled with me on the bed suddenly, so that he was on his back and I ended up straddling him. I fe
lt heat as he conjured his fire blade, and I squinted against the brightness. He grabbed my hands in his free one, forcing them to his other hand, to wrap around the pommel of the magical blade and I watched it shorten to more of a long dagger. Then he angled it so it was positioned over his heart.
“Do you have the spine, kitty Kat? Can you put him out of his misery? Can you kill your precious Aerick?” he asked me roughly, pulling my hands toward him, bringing the tip of the blade closer to his chest. His grip hesitated for a second and the yellow-orange flamed winked out in his eyes. I saw desperation and anguish flood his bright blue eyes, and then he whispered starkly, “Do it, Kat, please? Save yourself. Set me free.”
A cry of pain broke from me and I felt fresh tears wet my face. I yanked backwards on the blade. “I can’t, Rick, I just can’t! I can’t give up on you! I’m sorry! I will fix you, I promise!”
His eyes filled with yellow-orange flame again and the fire blade blinked out of existence. The laugh that rumbled from him echoed through the room. “There’s a good kitty,” he said. “I knew I could count on you to protect him. Telling Lucien or Valencia would be killing him just as surely as if you had plunged the blade in a moment ago.”
“Let him go!”
He laughed again, a chilling sound. “Make me.” His hands shot out and clamped down onto my thighs, holding me tight against him as he moved his body under me. “Besides, if I was the one completely in charge, I would have already fucked you into a mewling slave at my feet. Seems he’s trying to save you. Or maybe he just doesn’t want you. Maybe his precious Serena is just a better fuck than you are.” He licked his lips. “You always were just a pale ghost of her, even when she was still dead. Maybe he doesn’t think you’re worth it anymore.”
“Because I think you’re too much trouble to be worth it,” I heard Aerick’s voice echo in my memory.
I inhaled sharply and let my body fall forward, all the strength gone out of me. I could hear the beat of his heart where the side of my face lay against his chest. It was strong and steady. One heartbeat, three minds… more for all I knew, just lying in wait for the right time to show themselves. And nothing I could about it that wouldn’t result in Aerick’s death. That, I refused to be the cause of.