The Black Knight Chronicles (Book 4): Paint it Black

by John G. Hartness

  Abby pulled away from the girl’s neck and looked at me with one eyebrow raised. I declined with a shake of my head, and she whispered her thanks to the girl who’d just offered herself up as a snack. The girl stood on shaky legs and left the room, hopefully to go lie down and maybe have a cookie or something. I looked at Lilith, and she returned my stare with one even blanker. We sat in silence for several long minutes before Ogg raised his hand.

  “Yes, Ogg?” Lilith sighed.

  “Ogg gotta pee.”

  I burst out laughing, which made Greg and Abby laugh, which made Lilith chuckle, which made Sabrina elbow me in my broken ribs, which made me collapse face-first onto the polished oak table, which made Ogg look even more confused.

  Sabrina was the first to regain control of herself, probably because she never truly lost control. “Ogg, you can’t leave this room until you answer my questions.”

  “Which means you shouldn’t pee, either,” Lilith hastily added. She looked at Sabrina and shrugged. “Troll urine is harder to get out of a carpet than blood, and there’s no ScotchGard-ing that crap.”

  Sabrina’s shoulders sagged as she saw yet another interrogation veering into territory never mentioned in the police academy, but she took a deep breath, set her shoulders, and soldiered on. “Ogg, what do you know about the death of Teresa Chapin?”

  “Nothing,” the troll replied.

  “What about the disappearance of Veronica Moore?”

  “What about it?” came the sullen reply.

  “Where were you on the night of March 17th?”

  “Here.”

  “Can anyone verify your whereabouts?” Sabrina was up now, prowling the room like a mountain lion, all lean muscle and danger.

  “What’s a whereabout?” The troll’s head was on a swivel trying to keep Sabrina in his sight.

  Lilith cut in. “I can verify that Ogg was here all night. Saint Patrick’s Day is one of our busiest nights, and Ogg is one of my best bouncers. I’d never give him that night off.”

  “Sorry, Lilith, but you’re not the most trustworthy alibi. Is there any proof that what you say is true?” Sabrina turned her attention to Lilith, and I reminded myself to be somewhere else whenever these two finally threw down. Lilith sat at the head of the table, all calm reserve and inscrutability. Sabrina stalked the room like a predator. It was a classic spider versus scorpion matchup, and I wasn’t really sure who was who.

  “I’m pleased you hold such a mediocre opinion of me, Detective. Of course there is video of the evening’s activities. Would you like the entire club, or just the VIP rooms?” Lilith gave Sabrina a nasty smile that implied all sorts of naughtiness.

  “I’m not interested in voyeurism, just proof that Ogg was on the premises all night.”

  I raised my hand and said, “If I could get a copy of those VIP-room tapes, it would be great.”

  Sabrina said, “Crap.”

  I could almost see the wheels turning in her head. Ogg was our best lead, but not only did he have an airtight alibi, I actually believed it.

  Greg raised his hand, and Sabrina nodded to him. “Not to be stupid or anything . . .”

  “Not that you’ve ever let that stop you.” I couldn’t resist.

  He went on after taking a moment to pause and flip me off. “But isn’t there a different question we’re all forgetting to ask?”

  “Yes. Feel free.” Sabrina made a confident “go ahead” gesture with one hand as if she was two steps ahead and already knew what Greg would ask.

  “Ogg,” Gregg started. “Why did you have human jawbones in your possession?”

  “Ogg bought them,” the troll replied.

  The non-trolls at the table exchanged confused looks. The troll’s answer, while probably completely honest, didn’t clear anything up. Greg followed up with the next logical question. “Why did you buy jawbones?”

  “Ogg wanted teeth.” An apt statement, since getting any information out of the troll was like pulling teeth. I gave Greg my best “let me hit him” look, but he just waved me off.

  “Why did you want teeth, Ogg?”

  “OggMarie make necklaces and earrings out of teeth. Sell for big money. Ogg trying to save up for place in the suburbs to make OggMarie happy, so we pinching pennies. Pennies scream if you pinch hard enough.” The troll actually chuckled at that. I got just a hint that there was something buried deep behind that stupid demeanor. But just a hint, then he was back to being stupid.

  I sat back down at the table and put my head in my hands. “So we’ve got a crafty yet fiscally conservative upwardly mobile henpecked troll buying human jawbones to make girl-tooth necklaces. Somebody please explain to me how this is a better use of my time than me being drunk in a graveyard?”

  “At least you’re not littering,” Abby said, reaching over to give me a pat on the shoulders.

  Sabrina continued pacing, more a frantic stomping around now than the measured stalking she’d been doing. “So now what? We know Ogg didn’t kill these women, so who did?”

  She turned to the troll. “And more importantly, Ogg, where did you buy the jawbones?”

  “At the Goblin Market.”

  Sabrina froze in mid-step and turned to look at the troll. Lilith leaned forward as if to slap the green-skinned goliath upside the head, and Abby, Greg, and I just looked at each other in confusion.

  Sabrina spoke first. “What is the Goblin Market, Ogg?”

  “Shut up, Ogg. One word and you’re fired, and you know what OggMarie will do to you if you lose another job. This interview is over, and I’d like for all of you to leave.” Lilith stood and pointed at the door. Nobody moved. She repeated the gesture, with similar effect.

  I stood up and put a hand on Ogg’s shoulder. The troll was just sitting there, staring up at Lilith in terror at the mention of his wife. “Don’t worry, big fella. She didn’t mean it. Did you, Lilith? Ogg’s not really going to be terminated for cooperating with the lawful authorities, is he?” I put as much weight into my words as I could, but it’s hard to intimidate a woman who remembers Moses before he had a beard.

  “Cooperating with the lawful authorities is listed in my employee handbook as a termination-level offense, Black. But no, I won’t fire Ogg. But you all have to leave, now. No one here will tell you anything about the Goblin Market. We’ve already said too much.”

  “But you haven’t told us anything!” I protested.

  “That’s the point. And that’s all I will tell you. Now get out of my club.” She pointed toward the door again, and this time I felt a little push behind my eyes. Suddenly the desire to get out of that room and not come back for a long, long time was almost overwhelming. I looked around for Greg, to see if he felt it too, but he and Abby were struggling to get through the door at the same time, a fight that was going very poorly for Abby. I gave my head a sharp shake, but the feeling didn’t slacken. Greg had finally pushed his way past Abby and through the door, freeing up that logjam. Abby was hard on his heels. Sabrina was almost at the door with them, and it took everything I could muster to grab hold of the table with one hand and draw my Glock with the other.

  “Lilith, don’t make me shoot you,” I said through gritted teeth. She glared at me, but said nothing. I leveled the gun at her left leg and squeezed the trigger. Lilith moved faster than any living creature I’d ever seen, and faster than more than a few dead ones as well. She snatched the bullet out of the air and flung it back at me hard enough to put a hole in my leather jacket. I poked a finger into the hole to make sure she hadn’t managed to actually hurt me, but the crumpled bullet just fell to the carpet, all its energy apparently expended.

  I was kinda glad I hadn’t actually shot Lilith, and even more glad that my attempt to break her compulsion had worked. Greg and Abby were standing just outside the office door looking at one another, probably wondering how they’d gotten there. Sabrina had stopped just inside the room.

  I just stood there staring at the immortal woman and said, “Th
is is my favorite coat, you know.”

  “And this is one of my favorite legs.”

  “Then we understand each other. Now will you stop screwing around in our heads and let us get the information we need, or will I have to go through a whole clip?”

  “Sit down.” She waved me to the table and retook her seat. I did the same, leaving my pistol on the table. Lilith raised an eyebrow at that, and I gave her a little shrug. If she was going to play mind games, I figured I needed to keep my artillery handy. I had no illusions about actually being able to hurt her, but the experiment of a moment ago proved distraction was good enough to screw up her mojo. I’d take it. The others took their places around the table, sharing worried glances. When everyone was settled, I turned back to the troll, who had never moved.

  “Ogg, tell us about the Goblin Market.”

  He shook his enormous head, and I repeated the request. He shook his head even more forcefully, and a few long strands of troll-slobber escaped from his bottom lip. I picked up the Glock and pointed it at his kneecap. “Ogg, tell us about Goblin Market or I’m going to start shooting you. These bullets are cold iron bullets, so they’ve got a better chance of killing you than anything else I can think of. But even if they don’t, they’re still bullets, so they’re going to hurt like hell. And I have a lot of bullets. So either start talking, or I’m going to have to recarpet Lilith’s whole office.”

  Ogg looked at me with a furrowed brow, then grinned and said “Oh! Ogg get it! You have to do new carpet because Ogg bleed all over the old carpet.” His smile disappeared, and a coldness flashed across his face that sent a shiver down my spine. “Ogg not like that idea.”

  “Then tell me about Goblin Market.”

  “Uh-uh. First rule of Goblin Market is no talk about Goblin Market.”

  Another facepalm moment and I had only met this guy tonight. Usually it takes weeks for someone to become this irritating. Ogg was verging on world-record status here. “Ogg, that’s Fight Club. And it’s a movie. It’s not a real thing.”

  “Actually, it was a book first, by Chuck Palahniuk,” Greg chimed in.

  “I know that!” I said, motioning for him to be quiet.

  “No, you didn’t. I know better. And really, Jimmy, it’s not like you’re a big reader.”

  “I read!” I protested. My partner is admittedly the smart one, but I’m not a total Neanderthal.

  “What was the last thing you read?”

  “Transmetropolitan.”

  “What was the last thing you read that wasn’t a comic book?”

  “Shut up.” I turned back to Ogg. “Now, about Goblin Market.”

  “What about it?” the troll replied. I still wanted to shoot him, just a little, but I thought Sabrina might object. Or worse, that Lilith might.

  “What is it?” I asked with a deep sigh. I braced myself for some kind of half-assed non-response, but Ogg surprised me.

  “It’s where you buy stuff. From the goblins.”

  “What kind of stuff?” Sabrina asked.

  Lilith finally contributed to the conversation. “Anything you want. Jawbones for necklaces, extra years to live, baby’s breath, stardust. Whatever you want, you can get it at the Goblin Market. You need a love potion? Goblin Market. You want a cloak which will let you walk between raindrops? Goblin Market. You want a lampshade made of human skin? Goblin Market.”

  “But cheaper on eBay,” Ogg added.

  “So this is where you bought the jawbones?” Sabrina continued.

  “Yeah. I got a guy. He save them for Ogg.”

  “Saves them from what?” I had a feeling I didn’t want to know, but I asked anyway.

  “From man-brain stew. He buy heads from some other dude, makes yummy stew, but no meat on a jawbone, so he save them for Ogg.”

  Sabrina looked horrified; Greg looked grossed out. Lilith looked smug, but Lilith always looked smug, so I had no idea if it had anything to do with Ogg’s revelation or if it was just her face. Abby looked fascinated, and I felt a little queasy, but also just a little bit hungry. And that made me even more grossed out. I leaned in to Ogg. “You’re going to take us to see this brain stew guy. We need to talk to his supplier.”

  The troll shook his head. “Uh-uh. Ogg can’t go back to Goblin Market. And wouldn’t take humans if he could. Bad for humans there. Lots of things there don’t like humans.”

  “In case you missed it, I’m not exactly human anymore, Ogg.”

  “Don’t matter. These things hate vampires more than normal humans. They call you wingless bats.” Ogg’s shoulders shook a little at that, like he was holding back a big laugh. I was less amused.

  I reached over and grabbed Ogg’s chin, getting a fistful of slimy flesh and troll spittle. “Ogg, let me be very clear. You will take us back there. You will take us to the guy who gives you your jawbones. Or I will put so many bullets through your head that your face looks like moldy Swiss cheese.”

  Ogg looked me straight in the eye, all hint of goofy troll guard gone. In his eyes I saw the monster all the faerie tales talked about, vicious, intelligent, and absolutely not interested in taking orders from a skinny vampire with a big nose. When he opened his mouth, it was like I was hearing to a whole different monster.

  “Take your hand off me vampire, if you want to keep it. I’ve had enough of your stupid questions, enough of your condescension, and enough of this ridiculous charade Lilith calls a ‘job.’ Lilith, I quit. I’m going home. Vampire, if you value what passes for a life for your miserable carcass, you will stay far away from the Goblin Market.”

  Ogg took my wrist firmly in one hand and removed my hand from his face. I thrashed the best I could, but I couldn’t even think about breaking his grip. The troll stood up, released me, and stepped to the center of the office. He made a few strange gestures with his hands, and a glowing yellow circle appeared out of thin air. Ogg turned back to Lilith, gave her a very formal bow, and stepped to the circle. As he was about to step through, he paused and looked back at me.

  “Remember what I said, vampire. The Goblin Market is no place for you or your people. Ignore this warning at your peril.” Then he stepped through the glowing circle and disappeared. I got up to run through the circle after him, but crashed into the iron bar of Lilith’s outstretched arm. She clotheslined me like vintage Hulk Hogan, and for the second time tonight my feet kept going while my shoulders and head stopped cold. I flopped to the carpet on my back and the air whooshed out of me in an explosion of profanity.

  “What the hell did you do that for?” I demanded once I’d regained both oxygen and my feet.

  “If you’re going to get yourself killed chasing after him, I don’t want it coming back on me. Ogg was a very good servant, and now I have to find a replacement. I will not have you starting an inter-dimensional war in my office on top of that. You have inconvenienced me quite enough for one night. Now get the hell out of my office.”

  I thought about pushing it, but took a good look at the fire in Lilith’s eyes and decided that I may have pushed enough things for one night. I got up with all the dignity I could muster, which wasn’t very much, and headed for the door. Greg and Sabrina were right on my heels, but Abby hung back. I looked at her, and she waved a hand for me to go on without her.

  “I’ve got a couple of things I wanted to talk with Lilith about. I’ll meet you guys out front.” I didn’t move for a minute, not liking anything about those two getting chummy, but Abby waved a hand at me, and I turned around, muttering about snotty kids these days. Sabrina laughed and grabbed my arm as we made our way past rooms with loud music and even louder guttural noises coming from them. The club was much busier than it had been when we first arrived, and I had to push my way past several dancers and a couple of drunken patrons on my to the door.

  One of the drunker guys took exception to me blocking his view of the stage, and decided to get in my face. He reeked of sweat, stripper perfume, and stale Mexican food, and that’s what I could smell from th
ree feet away. When he got up close and started poking me in the chest and slurring things about my manners, I was done. I grabbed his wrist and squeezed, hard. The snapping of a couple of bones brought the slovenly asshat to instant sobriety, and I pulled him even closer. I looked deep into his eyes, and spoke with all the power of my mojo behind me.

  “You can only be aroused by fetish porn of women over the age of seventy dressed up in animal costumes. This fascination with furry GILFs will continue for seven days from right now. You will find nothing appealing about any woman who isn’t old enough to drink Ensure for every meal until the week is up. Now get out of my way and learn some manners.” I shoved him back into his chair and made it the rest of the way to the door without incident.

  “Man, that was harsh,” Greg said as he joined me at the door.

  “Grandmas need love, too.”

  “Yeah. But that wasn’t a punishment for him, it was a punishment for them. Now the town’s going to be full of old ladies getting perved on.”

  “Only for a week. Just be glad I didn’t take away his attraction to women altogether.”

  “Can we do that? Make somebody switch teams like that?”

  “Of course not, bro. Being gay is a choice, remember? Don’t you watch Fox News?” Greg stared at me for a minute, then we both cracked up.

  Sabrina walked up just then, her sidearm in her hand. “Jesus! I thought I was going to have to shoot my way through there. I haven’t been groped that much since I wandered into a mosh pit in college.”

  “Glad somebody got lucky tonight,” I grumbled. I waved the valet over and mojo’d him into getting Abby’s car without the ticket. I wanted to hit the road, and if the blonde bimboshell was going to get all cozy with an immortal pseudo-succubus, she might have to find another ride home unless she surfaced pronto. I didn’t have to feel badly for stranding her. Abby sauntered out well before the Escalade made its way around.