by Abigail Lee
My bike turned down a familiar road and into a familiar driveway. I killed the engine and took the steps that lead to the front door. The house was dark, as I expected. It was not like he would be here to give advice, although I could really use some right now. My hand slid the key into the lock and turned, allowing the door to push open. I found the closest light switch and illuminated the small space.
There were boards and tarps and nails scattered around the room. It was a mess.
A mess that I hadn’t intended to deal with for a long time. But, recently, I found I needed a distraction.
I bent over to pick up the hammer that was lying in the same place I had left it yesterday. The wall in front of me was only half torn down, a result of my frustration and confusion. My boots took two steps forward, urging my arms to go over my head. Blue eyes flashed through my mind again the second before I slammed the hammer into the wall.
An hour later, the wall was completely gone except for the two support beams running from the floor to the ceiling. I was covered in sweat and finally starting to feel calm again. After sweeping up the broken sheetrock and wood, I locked up the house and made my way back to my bike.
My intentions were to drive straight back to the bar, however, I found myself on her street again and slowly driving by her apartment.
I was really turning into a pathetic stalker at this point and decided to get out of there before anyone saw me. There was only a half hour left before closing time when I made it back to the bar.
“You okay?” Roger, one of my longtime friends who also worked as a bouncer, asked as I walked up to the door.
“Better now,” I answered. “Was that kid okay?”
“Yeah, he left with some of his friends.” He slapped my shoulder and squeezed as we walked into the bar. “You didn’t rough him up too bad.”
“Good.” I was relieved to hear that piece of information. It wasn’t my intention to hurt the guy.
“There you are.” Mel was wiping down the counter top when I walked up to the bar.
“Here I am.” I sat down and rested my elbows on the bar.
“Did you get over your little fit?” She laughed.
“Very funny, sis.” I shook my head and laughed, too. “I already feel like an ass. No need to make it worse.”
I took the rag from her hand and stood to finish the job she had started. Walking to the only other bar in the room, I cleaned it as well and stored the remaining beer in the refrigerator. It was late when I made my way up to my apartment. It was dark and quiet—everything that I had always loved about it.
Tonight, though, I felt like it was missing something. I was missing something. And I knew exactly what that something was.
I tucked my legs underneath me as I sat on the end of the couch in Trey’s apartment. We had decided not to go out and instead were going to play games and watch movies. It turned out that Trey and Adam, his roommate, lived in the same apartment complex as us but in a different building. We had walked over after dinner, and I was switching through channels as Hannah was arguing with Trey about which board game to play.
The door slammed, and Adam walked in¸ throwing his backpack on the floor before collapsing on the couch next to me.
“Long day?” I laughed.
“Never go for your Master’s.” He let out a long breath. “Education is overrated.”
He stood a few minutes later and returned with two beers. Once the great debate over the games had been resolved, they set up Battle of the Sexes on the brown coffee table and began passing out cards. After several questions, it was clear that the girls were going to win this one, and within an hour, we were making up our own questions and creating rules for a new drinking game.
“No, that’s not what Chanel means.” I laughed and threw my head back onto the couch. “Not even close. Drink.”
“Fine.” Adam took a long drink. “Where do the Chicago Bears play?”
“In Chicago,” I answered with a serious face.
We both laughed as he thought about my answer. Technically, I was right.
The game was starting to wind down, and we all sat back and started to watch an action movie the guys had picked out. Hannah and Trey were cuddled up on the loveseat next to us, but Adam and I stayed on our opposite ends of the couch. I liked Adam, but I didn’t find myself drawn to him in that way. My eyes grew heavy as cars raced on the screen, and I snuggled deeper into the couch.
My arm stretched over the soft material next to me, and my head sunk deeper into the soft pillow. My eyes popped open when I realized that none of these things felt familiar, and I looked around the room. I was surrounded by light brown walls and a few posters of old rock bands and lying in a bed that I had never seen before. What in the hell?
We were playing games and then watching a movie. I must have fallen asleep on the couch, but did I sleep in here with Adam? I was so tired that I didn’t remember anyone moving me from the couch. My feet found the floor, and I saw that I was still fully dressed. A wave of relief washed over me as I walked into the hall and toward the voices coming from the kitchen.
“So, do you like her?” I heard Hannah ask.
I stopped in my tracks and listened for whoever she expected to answer that question.
“I just can’t.” Adam’s voice floated down the hall. “I’m not really a relationship guy, and plus the Luke situation. I’m not going to do that to him.”
“What does that mean?” she asked.
“Nothing,” he answered. “I shouldn’t say anything. Riley is amazing but only as a friend for me.”
“Do you let all of your friends sleep in your bed?” I walked into the kitchen and sat on the stool next to Hannah.
They both stared at me for a second trying to figure out what all I had heard.
“Actually, no one sleeps in my bed but me.” He turned and grabbed a bottle of water from the refrigerator and handed it to me. “But I couldn’t leave you on the couch after you fell asleep. So you slept in my bed. I slept on the couch.”
I twisted the cap off the bottle and took a small drink. “Thanks. That was nice.”
“You’re welcome.” And with that, he walked out of the room.
I turned to Hannah, but she only shrugged. Apparently, she was just as confused as I was. We spent the rest of the day shopping and finding Hannah a new outfit for her date with Trey tonight. He had told her to dress nice, but that was the only detail he had given her.
“I really like that dress,” I said approvingly as she walked into the living room wearing a knee length, red dress and black heels. “You look so pretty.”
“Thanks, friend.” She started switching items from her large Coach purse to her small black clutch. “I’m kind of nervous.”
“You, nervous?” I teased. “Not possible.”
“I know, right.” She stood tall and tossed her dark hair behind her shoulder. “What are you doing tonight?”
“Probably this.” I pointed to the TV with the remote. “And I’m perfectly fine with that.”
“No, no.” She shook her head. “I bet the guys are doing something. I’ll call Adam.”
I rolled my eyes and pulled the blanket closer to my chest. “You better not. I really just want to sit here.”
After a disapproving look and a quick goodbye, she was gone. I happily watched some crappy reality show while flipping through a US Weekly magazine. After getting caught up with my favorite celebrities, I made my way to the kitchen to find something for dinner. No luck in there. We really needed to go to the store.
I grabbed my coat and keys and quickly made my way to my car. Bypassing the grocery store and pulling into a drive-thru, I decided it was a fast food kind of night.
The next morning I walked across campus to the library. I had an exam coming up and knew that if I stayed at the apartment, I wouldn’t get any studying done. I was almost to the large entrance when I heard someone call my name.
“Oh, hey.” I smiled as Adam walked towar
d me. “What are you doing on campus on a Sunday?”
“I have a project due this week that I need to work on.” He laughed. “Trey and Hannah keep distracting me.”
“Tell me about it.” I walked through the door that he had opened. “That’s why I’m here, too.”
We found a table in the back of the library where we set up our laptops and spent the next few hours reading and researching. Once I thought my head was going to explode, I stood up and stretched.
“I think I’m done for now,” I whispered.
He didn’t answer but shut down his computer and loaded up his backpack. We walked out into the sunshine, but I still pulled my coat against me. It never really got too cold in Austin, but still cool enough to remind you that it was winter.
“We’re having some people over tonight if you want to come? I’m sure Hannah is already there.”
“Oh really.” I was ready to go home and do nothing.
“Yeah, it’s our monthly poker night.”
“And girls play?” I asked.
“No, never before.” He laughed. “But I figured that might change this month.”
“Hmmm, I might come.” I laughed, too. “But I have some errands I need to take care of first. Thanks for the invite.”
We took different paths as we entered the apartment complex. I collapsed onto the couch once it was within my reach. Two hours later, I woke up to a quiet room and remembered we still didn’t have groceries. I grabbed my phone and sent Hannah a text.
Going to the store. Need anything?
FOOD! was her reply.
I laughed as I walked to my car and drove to the nearest store. A few guys smiled my way as I walked down the aisles. I noticed one guy who looked somewhat familiar that passed by me several times but never said a word. Maybe he couldn’t remember what he was shopping for so he was just walking around. Surely, he wasn’t being so obvious on purpose.
Piling the cart full of fruit, vegetables, and a lot of pre-made meals, I was ready for another nap by the time I got back to the apartment. Grabbing the last bag from the trunk, my breath caught when I saw Luke’s bike parked a few spots down. Why was he here?
I stood and stared at the shiny metal before my feet decided they could move again. My lungs sucked in a deep breath as soon as my apartment door was closed. However, the voices in the other room caused me to quickly lose focus again.
“Okay, get out of here,” Hannah’s voice called out. “Have fun with the guys.”
I jumped when Trey walked around the corner and nearly ran into me.
“Sorry, Riley.” He jumped back. “I didn’t see you there. Here, let me grab some of these.”
He helped carry the bags into the kitchen, and I began to unpack them and organize our empty cabinets. After another lengthy goodbye at the door, Hannah joined me, and we cooked a Sunday night dinner of spaghetti before finding our way to the living room—me with a magazine, her with a book.
“Why didn’t you go to poker night?” I looked up as I turned the page.
“Why would I?” She had her eyes glued on her book. “It’s only guys over there. Did I tell you that’s what they were doing?”
“No.” I shook my head. “Adam asked if I wanted to go. He thought you’d be there.”
“He did?” She looked up.
“Yeah.” I paused before my next words. “Is Luke over there? I saw his bike outside.”
“I think so.” She was watching me now. “Do you want to go over and see?”
“Nope.” I looked down and started flipping through pages again. “I just wondered what his bike was doing here.”
“Uh, huh, I bet you were.” She quickly ducked as I threw a pillow at her head.
“Can’t I just be curious?” I shrugged.
“No, not really.” She sat up. “Do you like him?”
“I don’t even know him.” I turned another page I hadn’t looked at. “How can I like him?”
“Because he’s gorgeous, and his eyes were staring through you the other night.”
“They were not.” My eyes met hers. “Were they?”
“Yes, my dear.” She nodded. “He looked like he wanted to rip your clothes off.”
“Shut up.” I shook my head as we both started laughing, and I started to consider all of the possibilities that included Luke.
“I want a tattoo,” I announced as I walked into the living room.
“Whatever.” Hannah rolled her eyes from the couch.
“I’m serious.” I crossed my arms over my chest. “I’ve always wanted one, but he would never let me get one.”
“And what tattoo do you want exactly?” She turned her full attention to me.
“It’s a quote about following your dreams. I want it on my side.” I watched to see how she would react.
“Are we going now or later?” she asked.
“Now.” I smiled.
I pulled my car into a space in front of a tattoo parlor that I had done way too much internet research on. They only had one bad review, and I wasn’t getting anything pierced so the same issue shouldn’t happen with me.
“I kind of want one, too.” Hannah was flipping through books as I filled out the paperwork the receptionist gave me.
“You already have two.” I laughed.
“But I don’t have one on my wrist.” She turned the page.
I tapped my foot nervously against the tile floor until a beautiful girl, who was covered in tattoos, walked into the waiting area and called my name.
“That’s me.” I stood up, and we followed her back to her table.
“I’m Erin.” She smiled.
“Riley.” I smiled back. “And this is Hannah.”
She nodded at Hannah and turned her attention back to me. “What are you having done today?”
“It’s a quote.” I pulled out the piece of paper from my purse. “I wanted it on my left side just below my breast.”
She studied the words before looking back at me. “Is this the font you want, too?”
“Yeah.”
“Perfect. Let me work up a sketch, and I’ll be right back.”
I leaned against the table and took in a few deep breaths. I knew I was going to be nervous, but this was more than I expected. It was getting harder to breathe, and the room was starting to spin. There were several other men in the room getting work done, and a woman at the front booth was getting her lip pierced. No one was screaming out in pain so that made me feel a little bit better.
“Are you going to puke?” Hannah cut into my panic attack. “Because you look like it.”
“I’ve been tattooing for over ten years.” Erin was standing in front of me again. “No need to be nervous with me.”
“I’m probably going to pass out, just so you know.” I tried to laugh but nothing came out.
“It’ll be okay, hon. If you do, I’ll just wake you up when it’s over.”
She had me take off the gray t-shirt I was wearing, leaving me only in a black lace bra and low-rise jeans. Once she had pressed a paper against my side and applied the tattoo outline, I looked in the mirror.
“I love it.” My nerves began to calm. “I really do.”
“Let’s get started then.” She motioned toward the table, and I climbed on where she had me lie partly on my right side and back with my arms above my head. “It’s going to sting and burn at first. Just let me know if the pain gets to be too much.”
“Don’t worry. I will.”
I sucked in a deep breath as soon as I heard the low buzzing of the needle and seriously thought about jumping off the table and running to my car when it felt like something was carving into my side.
“You’re doing great.” Hannah was sitting on my other side and holding one of my hands. “She’s already on the third word.”
“You’re a liar,” I grunted out. “She just started. Tell a story or something.”
“Holy shit,” she whispered.
“What happened? Did something go wr
ong?” Erin stopped the needle and pushed me back onto the table.
“If you don’t lay still, I swear I will tie you down.”
“Oh, sorry. I won’t move again.”
“He’s here.” Hannah was leaning close to my ear.
“Who?” I opened my eyes and followed her gaze.
Sitting a few tables down and talking to another artist was Luke. He was explaining something on a piece of paper that the artist eventually took and walked away with. I watched as he pulled his shirt over his head and leaned back against the table. His strong chest and chiseled stomach were screaming for me to run over and touch him.
“He’s so freaking hot,” she said next to me.
Before I could agree, his eyes shot over and locked on mine. My mouth parted open to say hi but nothing came. Instead, we lay on our separate tables and stared at one another. He looked down my body, reminding me that I was only wearing a bra, leaving half of my body exposed to him.
“Don’t squirm,” Erin reminded me.
“Sorry.” I clenched my teeth as she pressed the needle against my skin again.
He smirked as he watched me lay helpless, locked in his gaze. His artist walked back to his side right as I heard Erin say she was finished. It took me a few seconds before I could sit up and walk over to the mirror. It looked better than I ever could have imagined.
“It looks amazing.” Hannah was staring in the mirror, too. “And it’s perfect for you.”
Don’t Dream Your Life, Live Your Dreams decorated my side. The author of this particular quote was unknown, but it had become my new motto for life. It reminded me that I was strong, and staring at the tattoo in the mirror, I felt empowered to chase after every one of my dreams.
Erin spread some ointment over the marking and covered it with a sterile bandage. “Keep this on it for about a week. You can take the bandage off later tonight.”
“Thank you.” I smiled but really felt like hugging her.
Hannah was already sitting on the table showing Erin the interlocked hearts she wanted on her wrist. Since it was a small tattoo, she said she could fit it in before her next appointment. I put my shirt back on and stood next to Hannah. I found myself looking up at Luke. He was still watching me but something had changed in his eyes. There was a needle pressing into his arm so that could have been part of the change, but it seemed like he was trying to figure something out about me.