'It's not my fault, is it?' Amelia asked, her eyes wide and scared. 'It was only once, Freya, and it was horrible.'
'Of course it's not your fault,' Freya assured her. 'I kissed boys when I was your age. Don't worry about it.'
'Are you going to tell Dad?'
Freya hugged her to her and didn't want to let go. 'Of course not. Although I don't think he'd mind if I did.'
Amelia was perking up. 'No. I suppose not. He goes around kissing people.'
'He does?'
'Yes. He kissed Anita the other night.'
'Really? When was that?'
'She came round on Saturday night to see him about something private.' And while Freya was digesting that piece of unpalatable information, she added, 'She wants to take my mum's place. I can tell. If that happens, I shall run away.'
Freya felt her insides knot. The thought of Amelia alone in the dangerous world made her blood run cold. Would the threat she'd just made apply to anyone who married her father? she wondered.
And what about if or when she discovered he wasn't her blood father and that her blood mother was someone pretending to be just an acquaintance? What would she do then?
'You must never do anything as silly as that, Amelia,' she said gravely. 'Your dad would be heartbroken and you would be in great danger. If he ever does marry again, you can be sure that he'll consult you first to make sure you'll be happy with the person he's chosen.'
This conversation was getting weirder by the minute, she thought as Amelia gave a doubtful smile.
But there were other things to say of more immediate importance, such as, 'Who's taking you home from school? Don't miss your lift. I don't want you walking home in the dark.'
'I won't be. The mother of one of my friends in the village is giving me a lift, but she's not ready yet. She's gone to have a word, with the maths teacher.'
'All right, but I think you'd better go and find her. And, Amelia...'
'Yes?'
'The chat we've just had—has it made you feel any better?'
She thought for a moment. 'Mmm. Yes. But I still don't want Dad to marry Anita.'
Freya bent to whisper in her ear. 'I'll tell you a secret. Neither do I.'
That brought forth the giggles and off Amelia went.
After she'd gone, Freya phoned the practice. Richard would be in the middle of the late afternoon surgery and might not be pleased to be interrupted, but she intended to be brief.
'Two things,' she said briskly when he answered the call. 'I've just had a chat with Amelia, which was rather disturbing, and would like to talk it over with you. Secondly, I have a patient with glandular fever that I'd like you to see with regard to whether you think a blood film is necessary to make a definite diagnosis.'
'How sure are you?' he asked in a similar tone.
'Pretty positive. I've seen it a few times before and all the signs are there.'
'I expect that you're right, but we'll have one done just to be on the safe side. I've had a couple of cases at the boys' school and your pupil makes three. So you can bet your life there'll be others as it always strikes amongst these age groups.
'I'll call round after surgery, but won't be able to stay long as Annie will want to be getting back to her own place and she grumbles if the meal gets spoiled because I'm late.'
Richard came striding into the sanatorium at six-fifteen, bringing a waft of cold night air in with him, and as always the longing that he aroused in Freya was there.
'So where's the patient?' were his first words, and she took him to where the poorly young girl was lying in a feverish doze.
'You're feeling pretty awful, aren't you?' he said as he felt the girl's abdomen for any signs of an enlarged spleen. 'It's an illness that your immune system has to fight off all on its own, I'm afraid. Sister will give you something for the pain and plenty of fluids and gradually you'll begin to feel better.'
He was rewarded with a watery smile and as they went into Freya's office Richard said, 'So what's this about Amelia?'
'She's threatening to run away if you marry Anita.'
'What? Where has she got the idea from that I might do that.'
'She saw you kissing her the other night.'
Freya was trying to keep any note of censure out of her voice but it must have come through as he said, still in a state of amazement, 'So between the two of you, you've got me hitched up to Anita.'
'Don't involve me,' she told him coolly. 'It's Amelia we're talking about.'
He snorted. 'Yes. I did kiss Anita on Saturday night. It was a kiss between friends. I'd just told her I was in love with someone else and there would never be anything between us except friendship.'
'So you've got three women in your life,' Freya mocked. 'Anita and I as hangers-on...and the one you love.'
'You're crazy,' he said. 'You know damn well who I meant when I told her I was in love with someone else. So don't play the innocent, or I might feel that a demonstration is required to convince you.
'But talking of innocents,' he said, serious once more, 'it's clear that I need to have a chat with Amelia. I know that she doesn't care for Anita, but I'd no idea she felt so strongly about her. The thought of her running away is horrendous. I hope that you talked some sense into her.'
'I did my best. But I have to say that my chat with her left me wondering if she would feel compelled to do that no matter who you married. Which made me feel miserable, to say the least, even though you aren't exactly falling over yourself to be with me.'
'We could talk about this for ever,' he said, 'but I have to go or Annie will be getting the fidgets. I'll report back on the outcome of my chat with Amelia, and will let you know when I get a result from the blood film. But, like you, I'm ninety-nine per cent sure it's glandular fever.' And off he went into the winter night.
CHAPTER TEN
Richard rang the following morning to say that he'd spoken to Amelia and where could they have a chat in private?
'I don't want to discuss our affairs at the school,' he said. 'There are too many people around who might tune in if they heard us. How about us having a meal at the hotel tonight? Amelia is going to the youth club in the village and then staying at one of her friends for the night. Can you get away from your duties at the school?'
'Yes, but I don't want to be away too long,' she told him. 'The girl with the glandular fever is a little better today and Matron will keep an eye on her, but I'm responsible for her, so a couple of hours is the longest I want to be away.'
'I'll meet you there after surgery, then. Say seven o'clock?'
'Yes, fine,' she agreed, thinking that everything they did or said was concerned with Amelia and, much as she was revelling in her nearness, it would be nice if sometimes Richard might want her company just for the sake of it.
Amelia had started calling at the sanatorium each afternoon before she left, and Freya found herself waiting for the moment when she appeared. If she was busy, it was just a brief hello and goodbye, but if she was free they chatted until the mother of her friend from the village came to collect her.
'You told Dad what I said about Anita, didn't you?' she said when she put in an appearance. 'Why did you do that?'
Freya smiled. 'Why do you think? I thought he needed to know how you feel about her. What did he say?'
'That he isn't going to marry her or anybody at the moment, and if he does I'll be the first to know.'
'Good. He can't be fairer than that, can he? And if or when the time comes, I hope that you'll remember that he's entitled to some happiness, too.'
There was no reply, just a nod, and then out of the blue Amelia said, 'Why aren't you married, Freya?'
'No one has ever asked me.'
It was true. Plenty of men had asked her to go to bed with them, but when it came to marriage it was as if they sensed that she had a hidden agenda that set her apart.
'I can't believe that,' Amelia exclaimed. 'You're beautiful. I hope that I look like you when I gro
w up.'
You already do, my child, Freya wanted to tell her. 'You'll be lovelier than I am,' she promised.
'I won't be if I get glandular fever because I kissed that boy.'
'I don't think you're going to get it. How long ago was it?'
'Before Christmas.'
'You should be all right, then.'
Her friend's mother was hovering and Freya waved her off with mixed feelings. It was heartbreaking when they talked about her daughter's fears about the future.
*
She was going to have Richard to herself for a couple of hours, Freya thought joyfully, and as she changed out of her uniform memories of the night they'd first met came to mind.
The man Charlie and his choking fit. How she'd been arrogant and dismissive when Richard had asked her to join him and his friends. Anita's cold stare.
If she'd known then that she was about to find her long-lost child and fall in love with the man who had adopted her, she would have been dancing on the tables instead of giving him the cold shoulder.
But at that time she'd only had Poppy's word for it that there was a girl at Marchmont who looked like her. Wonderful, observant Poppy, who was like a sister to her.
She had the urge to dress up for him, take his breath away, but it wasn't that sort of occasion. A quick meal at the hotel and then back to her duties. So she had to be content with a black trouser suit offset with a cream silk top.
Richard was in the suit that he'd worn for her interview, and he stood out amongst the other diners just as he had the first time she'd met him. But tonight it was different. This time she wasn't seeing him as a vaguely intriguing stranger. He was the man she wanted to spend the rest of her life with, and what could be more simple, with their mutual love for Amelia and the chemistry between them?
Yet it wasn't simple, was it? Richard confirmed that as soon as he started to speak.
'I've convinced Amelia that I have no designs on Anita Frost,' he said once they'd ordered the meal, 'and told her not to be so quick to jump to conclusions. I thought she might be getting over Jenny's death, but maybe I was wrong. The poor kid knows a couple of girls at Marchmont who are living with a parent who has remarried and, while that kind of situation often works out all right, in these two instances the children are most unhappy. She obviously thinks it could be the same for her one day.'
'So for the time being we're back to square one, then?'
'It would appear so,' he agreed, his dark hazel gaze on her.
'Have I ever told you that you're remarkable?' he said in a low voice.
Freya smiled. 'In what way? That people are prone to make remarks about me? Such as I'm an attention-seeker and trouble?'
He sighed. 'So you heard what Anita said about you? And, no, that isn't what I mean. You are remarkable because nothing seems to go right for you and yet you bounce back, strong, resilient and so beautiful you take my breath away. You shouldn't be wasting your time with a widower with a troublesome daughter.'
'Troubled, not troublesome,' she corrected softly. 'And she's my daughter, too, don't forget. But can't we for once put Amelia to the back of our minds and concentrate on ourselves?'
She watched his eyes darken but he didn't speak.
'I don't know how we're going to get ourselves out of this mess we're in with Amelia, so why don't we forget it for the time being, stop punishing ourselves and take it one day at a time?'
'And what do you suggest for tonight?'
'That when we've finished our meal you take me somewhere and make love to me.'
'I thought you had to get back?'
'Yes, I do. But Matron has told me not to rush and she's got my mobile number.'
The waitress was approaching with the first course, and with a smile that made Freya's pulses race Richard raised his glass to her and said, 'Let's hope that we get served quickly, then.'
They went back to his house after dinner and for the first time Freya didn't experience the feeling of loss and emptiness that had been there before. There was a lightness in the atmosphere as if something had been resolved, and she knew that she'd been right to suggest that they owed it to each other to put their own feelings first for a change.
As they climbed the stairs hand in hand he said, 'We can go into one of the other rooms if you'd prefer.'
Her smile was tranquil as she told him, 'I don't mind and I don't think Jenny would. I feel that we have her blessing.'
'Oh, Freya,' he groaned. 'Where have you been all my life?'
'Finding my way to you,' she said softly, 'and it's been a long, hard journey.'
*
'I never thought I'd touch you again after what I did,' Richard said tenderly as they lay together in sated bliss. 'When I sent those flowers to the apartment the morning after we'd made love the first time, I thought that would be it. That there was no way I would be able to justify my deception without you cutting me out of your life. But I reckoned without your generosity of spirit.'
'How could I have been otherwise,' she said huskily, 'when it was my child you were risking all to protect? But don't let's go down that road again, Richard. Tonight has been heavenly, like a feast after starvation... And now I have to go.'
'Yes, I know. Duty calls. Let's spend some time together this coming weekend,' he suggested, 'the three of us.'
'Four,' she corrected. 'Where Amelia goes, Alice has to go, too. She's in London at the moment for her grandmother's funeral, but will be back Friday night.'
When Poppy and Miles brought Alice back on the Friday, her friend wasn't her usual buoyant self and Alice was very quiet, too. It was understandable. Miles's mother had died suddenly from a heart attack and the funeral had been earlier in the day.
But Poppy didn't forget to ask about Richard and Amelia when Alice was out of earshot.
'I'm in love with him, head over heels,' Freya told her. 'And for his part, Richard seems to have given up on trying to keep us apart. But we both know that we're a long way from a serious relationship because of Amelia. I dread to think how long it might be before it's all out in the open and dread even more her reaction when it is.'
'It will all come right, I know it will,' Poppy said. 'You haven't come this far for it all to fall apart when the time comes for Amelia to be told.'
'For Amelia to be told what?' Alice asked from the doorway, and the two women drew apart.
'Told that her dad and I are taking you both to Cheltenham tomorrow to buy her something for her birthday,' Freya improvised quickly.
'So you know it's her birthday next week?'
'Yes. We all do. I'm sure that she's told you, Alice, as she tells you everything.'
Alice nodded solemnly.
'Yes, and I tell her everything.'
'Well, that's what friends are for, isn't it?' Poppy said, giving her daughter a farewell hug, and the conversation dwindled off into goodbyes.
It was still early evening so she rang Richard to sound him out on the rash arrangements she'd just made for the next day.
'Alice is back and suddenly curious,' she told him. 'For reasons that I'll explain later, I've told her that the four of us are going into Cheltenham tomorrow to buy Amelia something for her birthday. Or have you already got her present?'
'No, not yet,' he said slowly, and then remarked, 'It's a strange feeling that you know the date just as well as I do.'
'I have every cause to, haven't I? For years I've lived with the emptiness of the occasion, but this time it will be all I've dreamed of...and more...with you in my life.'
'Don't tempt providence, Freya,' he said soberly. 'It's a dangerous thing to do.'
'Not this time,' she trilled, and bade him goodbye.
They were going in Richard's car and when he called at the school next day to pick up Freya and Alice, the two girls greeted each other ecstatically.
'You've only been separated three days,' Richard teased as he and Freya exchanged smiling glances.
She was on top form today with the two pe
ople she loved most in the world. There wasn't a cloud in her sky.
The town was busy as it had been the last time they'd all gone there, and as Richard parked the car Freya asked, 'What would you like for your birthday, Amelia?'
'How did you know when it was?' she asked in pleased surprise.
'Er...your dad told me. So what would you like?' she repeated, uneasy because Alice was regarding her with a fixed stare and Richard was rolling his eyes heavenwards as if to say, We'd better watch it.
'I don't know,' Amelia said. 'Can I think about it?'
'Yes, of course,' Freya said easily, and the moment passed.
It was as they were strolling around a clothes shop that disaster struck. A middle-aged woman was standing nearby and as she observed what she thought was a family out for the day, she said to Richard, 'My goodness, doesn't your daughter with the golden hair look like her mother?'
Amelia smiled up at Freya as if to say, Isn't she silly? Then turned to the woman and said, 'She isn't my mother.'
'Oh, I do apologise,' she said quickly. 'We all do it, don't we...jump to conclusions?' Looking flustered, she moved away.
As Richard and Freya exchanged relieved glances after the strange little, episode, Alice said suddenly, 'Freya is your mother, Amelia. I heard Mum and Dad talking about it yesterday. You were adopted when you were a baby.'
Freya heard Richard's gasp of dismay and from the corner of her eye took in Alice's rising colour, but her gaze was fixed on Amelia, who was glaring at her friend out of a chalky white face.
'You're telling lies, Alice!' she cried. 'Lies!'
'I'm not,' Alice protested, her round face crumpling. 'I thought you'd be pleased that Freya is your mum. I would be if I was you.'
'Well, you're not me, are you?' Amelia cried on a rising sob. 'My mum is dead.' Turning to Richard, who was rigid with dismay, she pleaded, 'Tell her it's not true, Dad! That I'm not adopted. That I belong to you and Mum.'
Customers in the shop were eyeing them curiously and Freya said through dry lips, 'Let's get out of here, Richard...to somewhere more private.'
He nodded grimly and, taking Amelia's hand in his, made for the door, with Freya and Alice close behind.
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