“Do you?”
Twisting his neck from side to side, he pulled me to a spot near some rocks out of view of everyone. “If you’re going to do this, do it because you want to not because of the money. OK?”
Didn’t he know how much I wanted him, and it had nothing to do with the money. That was ridiculous. “I’ve never wanted anything more.” I took the blanket off his shoulder and dropped it below my knees. He helped himself out of the front of his jeans. The alcohol calmed any nerves I’d normally have. The ice-cold temperature of my hands, the heat of my mouth, the tight grip of my fingers, I wanted everything I did to be perfect. I wanted to be his best. I wanted to be his only. With the gentlest yet strongest touch, I learned every inch of him memorizing every divot and groove. The sound of his breathing escalating as my mouth took over only fueled what was inside of me. My drive. My purpose. My body, in a different way, bringing him pleasure.
“Phoebe,” he grunted, tracing my chin with his fingertips.
I continued.
“Phoebe.” His husky whisper shot chills down between my legs and to my breasts. A part of me wanted him to take me like I’d asked. But when he said my name a third time, I knew it was time. His skin tightened as blood engorged him. His neck fell back as he released. My name wisped off his lips as I swallowed. After I ran my finger beneath my lip, Austin fell to his knees in front of me. We both softly laughed when he collapsed backward. “Dear God, what are you doing to me, woman?”
_______________
Rehearsal day. I’d gotten up early, wiggled out from beneath Austin’s arm and walked down to the beach. A white twirl of smoke floated above the smoldering coals left in the circle where we’d sat last night. A grin flitted across my face as I remembered how we’d abandoned the evening and friends. Why we’d abandoned them. The massive rock Austin called Haystack dominated the beach. White seagulls flew around the top of the rock. I’d made it to the wet, hard sand and didn’t stop until my feet touched the water. Cold water. I shuddered as the icy ocean water washed over my feet then pulled back with the waves or tide or whatever it was.
I hit the facetime button, excited to talk to the kids. Hannah answered right away.
I waved. She started shouting names and gathering everyone up.
“Hey guys!”
“Freebie!”
God, I missed them so much. “Look you guys, it’s the ocean!” I spun around so they could see. The moment I turned, I spotted Austin walking toward us. A smile found both of our faces. I angled the camera so they could see him. He waved and trotted toward us.
“Hey!” he shouted as he got closer.
There was an entire shower of ‘Hi Austin’s’.
“Are there sharks?” Claire asked.
“Yes!” Austin laughed. “Huge ones.”
“Protect Freebie, Aushen,” Claire said, clinging to Hannah’s neck.
Austin took the phone from my hand. “Claire, I promise I’ll take care of her. For a long time.”
Shocked, I jerked the phone from his hand. “OK guys. I miss you so much and I love you! I can’t wait to see you!”
Hannah brought them in for a hug. “This is a hug from us!” she said, warming me from the inside out.
“Hugs back. Where’s Sloan?”
“You guys run along and play,” Hannah hurried them off. Uh oh. My stomach started hurting. “She’s sleeping. She came in later than I expected last night. But all is well.”
I nodded. “Ok. Thank you again for everything.”
“The kids are awesome, Phoebe. You’ve done a great job.”
With a contented smile and tears flooding my eyes, I disconnected the call.
“Are you upset by what I said?” Austin asked.
“They fall harder than I do Austin. They fall easier. They don’t understand how relationships work. They don’t understand that when you realize that it doesn’t make sense for you to like me that you’ll find an excuse to leave. And there goes your relationship with them too. They just don’t understand any of that.” I walked toward a smaller rock next to the big, huge one, leaving a trail of footprints behind me.
“So, you’ve already decided I’m leaving?”
When my gaze dropped to him, it was sometimes hard to find the words for someone like him. Educated, drop-dead gorgeous, funny, worldly…
“When we get back, Austin, this romantic little charade is going to play out just a wee bit differently. Trust me, if I didn’t have responsibilities, I’d give you my every single minute or every single day. But I have parent-teacher conferences and doctor appointments and dentist and eye doctor and the grocery store and two jobs and…”
“I get it. Your time with me would be limited.”
He acted like it would be ok. As if he wanted to continue this…whatever this was…back home. Did he?
“I work a lot too, but that doesn’t mean I don’t want to see you, Phoebe. I know this has been less than conventional. I know when this all started, we made our boundaries clear. Obviously those boundaries changed a couple of days ago. Phoebe, I don’t have a single regret. Not one. But if you don’t want this, then tell me now because I need to back off on what I’m feeling, if that’s possible.”
I stared at him sharing everything he was feeling with me. “What do you mean by this? You said if I don’t want this?”
“I mean, me.”
I shook my head, trying to rid my thoughts of disbelief that hovered there. Was he really offering me the world on a platter? Could it be possible that he really wanted me? He was answering prayers I’d never dared to pray. Shrugging, I fought back tears. “Austin. I have nothing to offer you.”
Faster than the breeze, he swept in, cupping my cheeks. “I don’t need a goddamn thing but you—and that’s something you can offer me. The one thing I want.”
“I want you too. So much.” Two tears spilled over. “I’m so scared. You don’t even really know me. And what If we don’t agree on things. Do you spank kids? Do you believe in abortion? Do you go to church? Because I’m not really sure what I believe about that anymore. And what about gay rights? I have some really good friends that are gay, and if you can’t accept them then...” I sniffed. There were so many things that could keep us apart. How was this ever going to work? He fought a smile. “It’s not funny. These things matter, and what if you think we should go to war, and I don’t, and then we fight about it. And do you even like The Office because I think it’s really funny with Michael and Dwight and Pam and Jim and…”
He chuckled out loud. “Phoebe. Sweet Pea. Breathe,” he laughed, wiping my cheeks with his thumb. “We can talk about every one of these issues, but you are your own person and you get to believe how you want, and I’ll respect that. Most importantly, if we agree that Jim and Pam were meant for each other, and Michael was the best boss ever, we can overcome anything.” His white teeth beamed even on the cloudy day. If I wasn’t already in love with him before, I certainly was falling after that. “Look at me,” he said with an authority that made me look. “I would never hurt those kids. I will help you in any way you ask. I will always know my place.”
Unable to maintain distance a second longer, I jumped into his arms. Though being with him felt like royalty vs commoner, talking to him seemed to establish some sort of common ground. That’s really all that mattered. He mattered. He made me feel like I mattered. Burying my face in the crook of his neck, I sighed and hung on for the ride.
Chapter 9
AUSTIN
Irrational Decisions
PHOEBE WENT WITH Emma, Sam, and Ali for manicures and pedicures, although I knew she’d gotten her nails done before we left Texas. The guys went to pick up the matching slacks and jackets to wear on the beach. All of us stood in the measuring area waiting to make sure that everything fit fine.
“Sorry about what I said last night, man,” Grant said.
I shrugged. “It’s all good. Hoes before bros, isn’t that the saying?” I winked at Grant.
&n
bsp; Zach laughed. “Yep. All day long.” But Ryan, Bret, Grant and Connor shook their heads. They hadn’t felt it yet. That feeling in your chest that changes the entire world as you know it. The feeling that when you’re away from her, you can’t wait to see her again even if it is just for a pedicure. They would know it someday when their Phoebe came along in the most unexpected of ways.
“I’m sure some girl will feel sorry for you guys some day and give you a second date.”
Zach and I laughed. Who’d have thought we’d laugh together again. Miracles do happen.
“Fuck you, man,” Grant laughed. “You were getting too old for the dating pool so damn good thing you found someone.”
I nodded. “That’s fair.” The lady taking measurements eyeballed me above the glasses resting on her nose and snickered.
“Speaking of pools, I was thinking we might come hang out in your hot tub and pool for a bit?” Grant asked.
“Yep. Fine with me.”
The lady tapped my leg, and I was done. When I stepped off the stoop, I texted Phoebe. Yes, I’d gotten pretty pathetic.
“Hey, pretty girl.”
I didn’t hear back, but her hands were probably tied up with the manicure—the thought of her tied up in any way turned me on. Whipped… was an understatement.
Seven guys swimming in an indoor pool and hot tub made for loud, obnoxious fun. It was as if sitting in the hot tub and then jumping in the cooler pool was something we’d never done before. The jokes never got old about shrinkage—the “I was in the pool. It was cold water,” Seinfeld jokes. Ryan launched the football to each of us, destroying our bodies when the pigskin slammed into us as we jumped from the diving board. Reliving old times felt better than I ever imagined.
When the girls strolled in, I stood in the shallow end waiting to see my girl’s face. The first redhead walked through, but I waited patiently for the prettier one. When Ryan grabbed his sister and jumped into the water with her…the damn bride to be…an audible gasp nearly drowned out the splash. My eyes shot to Zach, whose entire jaw tightened when Emma hit the water. Ryan walked a thin line because he was Emma’s brother, but at this point, Ryan was going to be in deep shit. So, fucking typical of Ryan and Grant. Before I even finished the thought, Grant shoved Ali into the pool with one hand and reached for Phoebe with the other. She was giggling at first, but then fear of what was about the happen registered in her eyes. My resounding, “No!” echoed in the huge glass room just as Phoebe splashed into the deep end of the pool. Her comments about being unable to swim blasted to the front of my brain. The few seconds it took for me to jump out of the shallow end, run and dive into the 12-ft water for my non-swimmer seemed like an eternity. Her wide, terror-filled-eyes beneath the water saw me coming. I scooped her up, cradling her in my arms as I surfaced and then kicked over to the side.
“You ok?” I asked, shaking the water from my head.
Her head bobbed up and down as she cleared the water from her racoon eyes. The cutest racoon eyes ever. The mascara smudged in the damnedest way.
“Phoebe, I’m sorry,” Grant said.
“It’s ok, Grant,” she tried to laugh. “I’m not super buoyant.”
“Sorry, man,” he repeated.
I stared at him for a hot second then glared at Ryan. “You’re not the one that started this shit, Grant.”
Phoebe pulled my chest hair. “They were just having fun.”
Seeing her soaked hair stuck to her head, the faintest of pants and yet she still smiled and defended their actions. There was no way to explain the feelings brewing inside of me. The girl I’d seen in Braums was in fact a woman that reeled my heart in with every passing moment. Soulmates was a word casually thrown around too often diminishing the gravity of what it meant. The entire time her rounded green eyes blinked, her wet lashes clung together, she clearly saw something in me I wasn’t sure if I saw in myself. This girl believed in me. I’d somehow become her lifeline and there wasn’t a single thing I’d change about that.
“You ok?” Emma asked from behind us.
Phoebe turned to her, still holding tight to my neck. “Yes. Thank you. Thanks to Aquaman here.”
“My asshole brother started this bullshit. Sorry you got included like that. On the bright side however, everyone likes you enough to pull that shit on you.”
Phoebe smiled. Emma smiled. I smiled. I loved that everyone liked her. How could they not?
_______________
The rehearsal went off as planned despite the half dozen pranks. Ryan hiding the agenda, Emma hitting Ryan, Grant tripping Zach, and then Zach about losing his shit with the stress they were all putting on Emma. I didn’t feel sorry for Zach. Not one bit. This was going to be his life. Emma had her crew of guys that had been her protectors for her whole life. Hell, I was one of them too. Maybe someday some of the pranks and nonsense would wane, but until then, Zach would have his hands full.
Wine, Italian food catered by my father, all under a tent not far off the beach but away from the wind, was exactly how I had pictured things for Emma. All of us actually. This beach had been our place for too long not to make it a part of our special days.
Emma opened a slew of slinky lingerie pieces that the girls had bought for the honeymoon. Zach quickly yanked them out of her hand as she held them up for all to see. The thought of anyone picturing Emma in them was too much for him. I understood his typical overprotective behavior a little better finally. The thought of anyone seeing Phoebe practically naked drove me wild too.
Phoebe pinched my leg and whispered, “I want something like that someday.” She didn’t slur her words, but I knew she’d been enjoying the wine again. “My panties come from Target.” She rolled her eyes.
“First of all, I like you without panties,” I murmured into her ear. “But I also like the ones you wear. However, I’d be happy to buy you any lingerie that you can put on and I can take off.”
She scrunched up her nose in that adorable way of hers. I’d known this girl for less than two weeks but there was something about that scrunch that I adored. Something about it that made me want to see it for a very long time.
My phone vibrated in my pocket, and I looked at it. Hannah. In Oregon, it was 10:15 which meant it was 12:15 a.m. in Texas. Shit. This couldn’t be good. I stepped away from Phoebe.
“What’s wrong?” I said, turning to make sure Phoebe was not in earshot. Double shit. She was right next to me. ‘What’s wrong?’ she mouthed.
“Austin. I need your help. Sloan has been arrested.”
“What for?” The second the words were spoken, I shifted into attorney mode.
“She was picked up for possession of alcohol and marijuana.”
Fuck. “Where is she?”
“Juvenile detention waiting for a parent. What do you want me to do?”
Phoebe stood a foot from me, making a meal of her thumbnail. Her rounded, green orbs were beautifully hazed over from the effects of the red wine but fighting to be alert. Hannah waited for an answer I didn’t have, and Phoebe waited for the news I didn’t want to break. News that was going to ruin the night for her. For a brief second, I contemplated lying.
“Sit still. I’ll call you in a minute.”
I disconnected the call, took Phoebe’s hand and guided her out of the tent.
“Don’t.” She jerked away, almost losing her balance. Her reaction shocked me. “Tell me. Is someone hurt?”
“No, but…” Her entire chin quivered, and my damn chest hurt, knowing pain was coming her way. “Sloan’s been arrested. But I’m going to take care of it. I just need to make a call.”
Phoebe juked past me and ran clumsily back to the table to retrieve her phone from the table where she left it. Fear drove her. She jogged to my car as if we were going to hop in and drive back to Texas.
“Phoebe. Don’t call Hannah. She’s waiting for me to sort this out. OK?”
Unlocking the car door, she slid in. I fell into the driver’s seat and grabbed Phoebe’
s hand. “Listen, I have…”
“Stop, Austin.” She yanked her hand out of mine, pressing a button on the phone. I’d never seen her like this. Her entire body shook.
“Who are you calling?” I asked wanting to do something to calm her. “Phoebe. I’m here to help. Please don’t do anything irrational.”
“Sloan’s been arrested,” she said into the phone. “I need you to go pick her up. Please.” Phoebe paused. “I don’t need this right now. Just go.” Her fingers pulled at her hair. “No, I’m not drunk. Please, will you just do what I ask?” Laying her forehead in her palm, she seemed frustrated as her voice broke.
I could have handled this so easily. I didn’t think she had an attorney, but I was happy if there was someone there who could help.
“Just wine,” she said, obviously explaining to someone. “Yes, I know I owe you, Nick,” she growled and then hung up the phone and covered her face.
Nick? My mind bordered on releasing a window-rattling scream that she would never forget. As I shifted in my seat, my brows shot high as a mask of confusion fell into place. She literally called her ex to help. I was fucking speechless. Dumbstruck. My upper lip pulled tight. Unable to swallow my fucking pride and anger, I opened my car door. “You need to let Hannah know you and Nick are taking care of it. Not me.”
I slammed the car door so hard the windows shook after all. I didn’t bother to look back as I headed down the beach. Back inside the tent, the guys were doing shots. Perfect. By the time I reached the table, they’d already downed one, so I threw one back to catch up. My glass shook as I lifted it to my mouth. Rage surged through my body.
“Here’s to Zach growing out of being a douche bag,” Grant laughed, holding up his shot.
Zach tilted his head sideways. “Not sure I’ve outgrown it. You were hell bent on coming between us. Douchebaggery was my only option,” he chuckled, but I knew him well enough to know he was serious too.
We shot back another. My mouth was on fire. Maybe it was a blessing in disguise so I couldn’t scream.
Finally...My Forever (Just One of the Guys Book 4) Page 10