Yesterday and today have been torture. I had two more meetings with different advertising firms and my fears were confirmed. Their proposals were subpar, not even coming close to the quality of Rosie’s package. I sat through both meetings with a sinking feeling in my stomach. I have to hire Lockwood’s firm. I have to work with Rosie. I owe it to my clients and nothing can change that fact. The clock says it’s 4:45pm, which means I have fifteen minutes to call Zachary Lockwood and tell him he’s hired. I have fifteen minutes to lock myself in to six months of constant communication with Rosie, constant torture of seeing her and hearing her voice and knowing that she doesn’t want anything to do with me. Constant reminders of her rejection, and of that nagging feeling inside me that I still want her. I close my eyes and I see her, laid out on her bed in front of me. The image has been burned in my mind since that night two months ago. “Aaaahhhh, stop!â€� I yell to my empty hotel room. I jump out of bed and pull at my hair, bending over and pushing all the air out of my lungs. I stand up again and rush to the desk at the other end of the room. I pick up my phone and in a couple seconds it’s ringing. “Lucas!â€� Zach Lockwood answers on the second ring. “I was worried you’d forgotten about us.â€� “Not likely,â€� I say, trying to hide the bitterness in my voice. “I’ve reviewed your proposal and I have a couple notes, but I’d like to move forward. I’ll send through the contract in the morning and we can proceed from there.â€� “That’s great, really great. We have a talented team. You’ll love working with Rosie, she’s one of our best editors.â€� My throat tightens and I nod, as if he could see me. “Right. Ok, thanks Zach. I’ll be in touch.â€� I hang up as he’s answering and throw the phone back down. It’s done. Collapsing on the end of the bed, I hold my head in my hands and let out another sigh. I have no idea if that was the right decision. It could be the stupidest thing I’ve ever done in my life, just putting myself in an awkward situation for the sake of professionalism. I don’t even know if it’s professionalism. It was the best proposal, sure, and my clients will benefit. But how much of it was because I actually want to see her again. I want to talk to her, to laugh with her, to get to know her? Even being in the same room as her today gave me a buzz. As much as I try to deny it, I’m still drawn to her. I still want her. It’s wrong! I need to get myself out of this situation. If I have to work with her for the foreseeable future I’ll drive myself bat shit crazy. I pick up the phone again and dial my boss. “Linda,â€� I say into the receiver. “Lucas, how did it go?â€� “Basically what I told you this morning. Lockwood has the best proposal by far, and I’ve told him we’re ready to move forward.â€� “Great news. Good work, Lucas, you’ve saved our asses once again.â€� “Yeah, listen, Linda, I’m hoping this will be enough to let me stay in LA. I’m not happy spending so much time travelling. I want to be nearer to my daughter.â€� There’s a pause on the other end of the line. I can almost see her lips purse, her hand smooth over her hair as it’s always pulled back into a low grey bun. “Lucas, we need you over there. You have the contacts and the know-how. This deal wouldn’t have been done without you.â€� “Linda, you’re not listening. My daughter is more important. Anybody can do this! Jake would be perfect! He’s young and has nothing tying him to LA.â€� She sighs again. “I’ll have a think about it.â€� “Alright. I’ll send the contract through tomorrow and let you know how the meetings with Lockwood go.â€� “Speak to you soon.â€� I throw my phone down and lie back on the bed. So much for my exit strategy. My phone rings and makes me jump. Allie’s name pops up on the screen. “Hi Dad!â€� “Hi Allie,â€� I answer, sitting back down. “How was your day?â€� “It was great! But are you OK? You sound sad.â€� I sit up straighter and try to brighten my voice. “I’m ok, kiddo. Just tired from work.â€� “Ok,â€� she says. She doesn’t sound convinced. “Are you going to be in New York for long?â€� “Not too long, Al. Just a couple more days and then I’ll be back.â€� Back, and away from Rosie and this head-melting situation. Back home, to my daughter. “Ok.â€� She starts telling me about her day and I ask her questions when I’m supposed to, but my heart isn’t in the conversation. I take a deep breath. “I have to go to bed, Allie. I’m falling asleep here.â€� “Ok. Hope you have a good sleep!â€� “Me too, kiddo. I’ll talk to you later.â€� I hang up the phone and sigh. It feels wrong to be rushing to get off the phone when I’m speaking to my daughter. It feels wrong to be distracted and unhappy when I’m talking to the person that matters most to me, when I should be enjoying every minute. It feels wrong to be almost disappointed that I’ll be leaving New York when my daughter is on the other side of the country, and the woman I can’t stop thinking about doesn’t even want me. It feels wrong but I can’t help it. I’m attracted to Rosie – no, I’m drawn to her. It frustrates me and drives me insane but I can’t deny that I still want her, as much as I wanted her when I first laid eyes on her in that taxi. I want her, and I can’t have her. Not only did she show me she’s not interested, but now we’ll be working together. If she hadn’t shut that door three months ago, I’ve definitely shut it now by signing this contract. It was a fling, a one night stand, nothing more. She’s an attractive woman and even if I still want her, I can’t have her. I have to get over it and move on, for my sake and my daughter’s. I’ll get this contract squared away and then leave New York. Hopefully I won’t have to be back for a long while and I can get my head straight again. Chapter 22 – Rosie
“Team, can I get everyone’s attention?� Zach walks into the main room of the office and heads start popping up from cubicles like groundhogs. Harper walks out of her office and leans against the doorway. Our eyes meet across the room and she frowns slightly before turning towards her husband. She obviously doesn’t know what he’s about to say. When everyone is looking at him, Zach speaks again. “I’d like to congratulate everyone for putting in such a huge effort these past couple days, and one person in particular.� He turns towards me and my heart sinks when I realise what that means. “Rosie, the work you’ve done has been outstanding, and has just landed us the biggest contract in the firm’s history!� Cheers and clapping sound out through the room and a coworker puts his hand on my shoulder in congratulations. The biggest contract in the firm’s history. Lucas’s contract. Zach keeps talking about working hard and this being just the beginning. Typical manager talk and I zone out. For the second time today, I’m numb. He didn’t refuse my proposal, he accepted it. He’ll be working with us for months and I’ll have to spend god knows how many hours with him. I’ll be working with a man who hates me, who just happens to be the father of my child. Great. I look up from my desk and Harper is there. Her eyes are wide and she’s smiling from ear to ear. She opens her mouth as if to speak before Zach appears at her side. “Excellent work, Rosie. We couldn’t have landed this contract without you.� I nod, still feeling empty. “Thanks, Zach. I guess all that extra time I spent messing around with other people’s campaigns finally paid off.� I laugh, but it sounds weak and thin even to me. Zach smiles and turns to Harper. “You want to grab some lunch?� Harper glances from him to me and I nod. I can tell she wants to stay with me but she can’t say anything without telling Zach everything about the pregnancy. If only she knew that Lucas was the father. How can I possibly tell her now?! “And Rosie, you’ll come out tonight to celebrate?� “Sure, Zach, that sounds good. You guys have a g
ood lunch.â€� Harper smiles at me and nods. The two of them turn away and I get up, grab my bag, and head to the bathroom. I go into the first stall and lock the door, put the toilet seat cover down and sit on it. The dam bursts and all of a sudden I’m sobbing. The tears stream down my face and all I can do is grab my stomach and cry. My face contorts and I feel the pain of a thousand knives pierce through my chest. I cry and cry and cry until my whole body aches, and then I cry some more. When the tears finally stop, I take a deep breath and wipe my face with the rough toilet paper. I shake my head. For such a fancy advertising firm all they can afford is single ply. Throwing the tissue in the toilet, I finally get out of the stall and see myself in the bathroom mirror. My face is red and blotchy and the tip of my nose is shining like a light. My eyes are puffy. I splash water on my face and try to cool it down but nothing seems to help. I try to touch up my makeup and hide it as best as I can but I still look like hell. Sighing, I turn towards the door. Hopefully I can escape the office and head home without anyone asking too many questions. Just as I’m about to come out, the door swings open and Zach’s assistant, Becca walks in. “Rosie! Are you OK? What’s wrong?â€� “I’m fine, Becca. Just feeling a bit under the weather.â€� She looks at me and says nothing, just nods and steps out of the way. The look she gave me said I know that’s a lie, but I’ve been there. Before I step out she clears her throat. “If you need anything…â€� “Maybe just let Harper know I’ve gone home.â€� “Sure.â€� And with that, I shuffle out the door and duck out of the office. I can’t face anyone right now, especially not coworkers. Chapter 23 – Lucas
The phone rings and I sigh. My alarm clock says 7:22am, and I should be up and ready for work. The beers I had last night are making my head pound, and my mouth feels like I’ve been eating cotton balls. I know I shouldn’t have drank anything but I had to do something to blow off some steam. Rosie’s face kept going around and around in my head. It still is, even after a night of one too many drinks. I feel around the nightstand for my phone and look at the screen. I don’t recognise the number but I press the green button anyways. “Hello?â€� My voice sounds groggy even to my own ears. “Oh! Lucas, I’m sorry. I thought you’d be up.â€� I shoot up right away when her voice comes through the receiver. I sit up in the bed and rub my eyes, trying to sound more awake. “I’m up! I’m awake!â€� There’s a pause, and then a soft chuckle comes through the phone. “Ok,â€� Rosie continues. “Well in that case have you got a couple minutes? I thought we could talk.â€� My heart starts pounding in my chest. Talk? “Yeah, sure, sure,â€� I say, standing up and scanning the room for some water. “What do you want to talk about?â€� “Well,â€� she starts. Her voice sounds light over the phone but I think I can hear some hesitation. She breathes in and I hear the soft exhale she lets out. I wait, forgetting about the water and my headache and my cottonmouth and everything except what she’s about to say. She clears her throat. “You want to meet for coffee?â€� The words surprise me. I glance at myself in the big mirror on the wall and immediately start panicking. My hair is sticking up in every direction and I look like I’ve slept under a bridge. My eyes are lined and I smell terrible. “Uhh…â€� I say. “You know what, it’s ok. I’m sorry, that was presumptuous. Are you available to come into the office? Maybe this afternoon?â€� “No!â€� I almost yell into the phone, and then cringe at my own awkwardness. “I mean, no, it’s ok. Coffee sounds great. I’m just a little busy right now. I can meet you in an hour?â€� “An hour is perfect. We can meet at BrewHaus near the office? It’s just a couple blocks away.â€� “See you then.â€� We hang up and I let all the air out of my lungs. She wants to meet, to talk to me. Is this purely professional? It didn’t sound like it, it sounded like she had something on her mind. What if she wants to start talking, or even seeing each other? What if she wants to tell me we should keep this professional? Break up before we even had anything? I don’t even know what I want. I want to grab her and kiss her and make every night like our first one, but I also want to tell her that she can’t just ignore me like she did. I want to let her know how terrible she made me feel and how I don’t care that she’s the most attractive woman I’ve ever seen, she can fuck off for all I care. That’s not how I feel though. I don’t want her to fuck off. I want her to stay by my side from no until forever. My reflection is still staring back at me and I finally shake my head and snap out of my daze. I need to get ready. After a steaming hot shower to scrub the last hints of alcohol away, I make my way to the coffee shop Rosie mentioned. I take a cab and stare out the window, trying to figure out how I feel, or what to say. More than anything, I just want to be near her. I glance at the seat next to me and remember the way she looked when her leg was extended towards me, her foot in my hand. I look out the window again and take a deep breath. We pull up to the curb and I pay the driver before stepping out. I straighten my clothes and take a deep breath and then head towards the cafe. The door jingles as I walk in and the smell of coffee hits me. I stand a bit taller and scan the room, trying to spot her at one of the tables. I look for her red hair, curls cascading around her face. My heart is pounding and my throat feels tight. She’s not here yet. I glance at my phone and see I’m a few minutes early, so I might as well grab a coffee and wait. Just as I take a step towards the counter I feel something on my arm. I look down and see a delicate hand with four fingers placed on my forearm. I can feel the heat of her fingers through the fabric of my shirt, and my eyes trace the line from her fingers up her arm towards her face. Her eyes are shining as she looks at me and suddenly I’m speechless. Her lips look as pink and plump as they did the first time I saw her and immediately I know I won’t be able to be mad at her. I can’t even speak. There’s a question in her eyes and she looks as nervous as I feel. She smiles shyly and her tongue darts out to lick her lips. My cock starts throbbing as I watch it wet her lips, and I wish it was my own tongue tasting her. The seconds seem to slow down and she slips her hand off my arm. The spot where it was feels empty and cold and I turn towards her. She opens her mouth again to speak. “Hey,â€� she finally says. It comes out barely above a breath but it sounds as loud as freight train to my ears. The corners of my lips tug upwards. “Hey,â€� I respond. My mind starts spinning as I try to think of something else to say. “You… you want a coffee?â€� Her smile widens. She dips her chin down and tucks a strand of hair behind her ear. My cock throbs again. “Sure.â€� Chapter 24 – Rosie
Knocked Up by the Single Dad: A Secret Baby Office Romance Page 7