by Aluta Nite
Their relatives and the villagers at large were shocked at the sad news and at Jethro’s antics in transporting the body. The matter was better off handled communally they believed.
His mother, in particular, expressed disbelief at what he had done and reproached him saying, “Suppose you got involved in an accident along the road, what would have happened to you all? Why didn’t you stop to think about that? I am telling you today to never, never act like that again. The consequences can be very, very devastating.”
His aunt was buried the next day.
Troubled and Carefree Dina
Dina was born and partly raised in a broken family. Her father was rarely there, and eventually left the family home for good, dying later in mysterious circumstances. Her mother was an alcoholic and drug user, and remarried when Dina’s father left.
Dina’s mother therefore had children from two marriages. Because of her addictions, she did not take good care of her children. She eventually threw in the towel, deserting them, and later died. Her children were adults when she passed away, and they buried her in the most respectable manner. As they saw it, taking care of the dead honourably, is the job of the living.
Dina and her siblings grew up in different foster homes after their mother deserted them. As is often the case, Dina moved from one foster home to another, depending on how she was treated. At one of these homes, a quarrel and fight ensued with her foster father and in the aftermath, she lost a nipple.
He was abusive, unpredictable and a harsh disciplinarian in dealing with her misconduct as a teen. She did not get along with him, like she did his wife who was more accommodating. Despite the obstacles she encountered under foster care, Dina managed to finish high school.
In adulthood, she got married and gave birth to two daughters, Karen and Libby. When her daughters were young and had yet to know their father well, Dina and her husband divorced and she took the girls with her. Their father remarried and abandoned the girls to their mother entirely, in their childhood.
Although her daughters did not have a perfect relationship with their father, as teenagers they spent a little more time with him, particularly when their mother had had enough of what she called their “self-created” problems. They sometimes went to him for a few days during such episodes and then later returned to their mother.
Dina lived with the girls through thick and thin. They even lived in a homeless shelter for some time after her divorce, before she found a job and rented a house. She worked hard to put them through school, but her daughters did not really value their education. Her first barely made it through high school, while her second dropped out before finishing junior high school.
Moreover, calamity struck one day as Dina was involved in a terrible accident while driving, with her younger daughter in the back seat. Her child was unhurt, but Dina was injured to the extent that she was later declared disabled. She, therefore, applied for and received disability assistance on a monthly basis. In addition, due to persistent pain resulting from the accident, she was put on a lot of medication that she ended up getting addicted to.
On the bright side, she met a man who was younger than her and they got married. Dina was in her early forties and still very beautiful. Moreover, she was always well-groomed and smartly dressed. Her new husband did not wish to have children, and was therefore relieved to discover that she could not conceive.
She had had a hysterectomy soon after her divorce. She was persuaded by social workers to have it because she was on welfare, and could not afford to have more children. Her second husband worked and therefore supported her, and her daughters grew up with her and her second husband and eventually left home.
Despite these triumphs in her familial life, Dina’s addiction to pain medication was ruining her perspective on daily life. She was confused, unable to focus and suffered memory lapses most of the time. For instance, she had much difficulty remembering basic things like routes to very familiar places, telephone numbers and plans made to call or meet friends.
Some of her friends realized that she had a problem with addiction, and that it was negatively affecting her life. They advised her to wean herself off the medication, but she would not because she said that the medication helped her sleep. Moreover, whenever she went to see her doctor and complained of anything, more medication was prescribed.
Driving was obviously a hazard in her case. She had once been stopped by a policeman and asked if she was drunk, because she had been weaving on the road. Her license had even been revoked for some time, to protect her and other people on the road. Her new husband put an end to it by selling her car and driving her to wherever she needed to go. She did not like it because she felt it curtailed her freedom.
Moreover, regarding family life, Dina’s mother-in-law did not like her. She was a conceited woman who was in her second marriage to a wealthy man. So, when Dina and her husband visited her occasionally, they typically left earlier than planned, to avoid or escape conflict. In fact, her mother-in-law had for years been telling her son to leave Dina.
It appeared that she eventually succeeded because he came from work one day and told Dina that he wanted a divorce immediately. When she asked why, he said that it should have happened a long time ago.
They had been together for ten years and now went to court to go through the process of dividing their assets. He moved out and she remained in the house while it went on the market.
He took the car when he left, but she drove when able to get access to a vehicle from friends, despite the aforementioned dangers. She felt that life without a car or someone to drive her around was very difficult. This, however, forced her to gradually get accustomed to taking public transportation.
Furthermore, her disability income alone could not sustain her after the divorce, so she brought in a tenant. She became romantically involved with him, after having dated two other men for about four to six months each. She had met the latter two online, and they lived in her area, which made it convenient for her to see them when they dated.
In the course of life with her second husband, Dina had worked as a social worker at two different institutions for about three years. She also went back to school and accumulated one academic year of study credits in social work towards professional certification.
However, she did poorly with her finances. She spent her money quickly and purchased non-essentials heavily on credit. Therefore, over the years, she never saved but accrued a lot of consumer debt in addition to old school loans and legal fees, and fell behind paying it all off.
Regardless of the misadventures she experienced and mistakes she made in life, Dina stood out to anyone that got to know her as a light-hearted, well-meaning woman with a good sense of humour and child-like innocence. She was the type of person that was easy to trust and love but also more vulnerable to being taken advantage of by unscrupulous people. She nevertheless, easily forgave other’s faults and crimes against her, and accepted people from a variety of cultural, ethnic and economic backgrounds without reservation. Knowing her life struggles - of which only a portion have been mentioned above - and how she coped with them, illuminates the strength and virtue of her easy-going nature.
Mortality at Birth
In a certain village, there was a beautiful young woman called Jet, who got married to a handsome young man called Adam. They had their first child, a daughter, and were filled with joy at her birth. In those days, people typically had many children, and this couple also aspired to have many children.
Besides the fact that there was no effective way to repeatedly deter pregnancy for the long-term, having many children meant prosperity for parents in Adam and Jet’s ethnic community. Therefore, it was prestigious to have as many children as possible, as they would grow up, work on the land or elsewhere, acquire additional assets and assist their parents in old age. Retirement benefits then were obtai
ned by having children, rather than having a career in the city.
Also, life was not as difficult as it is today, because people relied more on the land to produce their food. They sold their excess harvest for money, which they used to purchase other necessities. Private and public vehicles were few and far between, so instead, most people walked or used donkeys or bicycles.
Television was not invented yet or any other modern-day gadgets that people are used to for entertainment. Back then, people listened to battery-operated radios or gramophones that played vinyl records. Musical instruments were non-electric and included lyres, drums, guitars, harmonica, accordions and others. They were often made from local, organic materials like cowhide, gourds, wood and wires.
In addition, paper money was not the only medium of exchange, as barter systems were still in existence. Cowrie shells and precious metals were also mediums of exchange. People obtained cowrie shells from rivers and lakes while fishing, swimming or washing clothes, whereas precious metals were mined crudely.
Back in the village, after the birth of Adam and Jet’s daughter, Jet conceived again within a year. However, their second baby died at delivery. During the following year, Jet conceived again and as before, the third baby died at delivery. The couple was not deterred, however, and nature continued to take its course as Jet conceived six times in eight years, though their babies all died at delivery. They still hoped for a large family despite repeated failure.
Delivery in those days happened at home on a mat on the floor inside the house. There were no hospitals or maternity wards nearby. Therefore, Adam always waited in another room with their daughter while Jet struggled through delivery with a local midwife.
Midwives typically were old women beyond childbearing age, who were supposed to be very experienced in the ordinary aspects, as well as the nuances of childbirth. They were well known in the communities and respected. They used herbal remedies whenever there was a need to medicate women and babies.
One particular midwife assisted Jet every time she was ready to deliver. Because they had lost so many babies at birth, the couple became suspicious and during the eighth delivery, they invited a few other women to witness the proceedings.
Their only daughter and child also hid nearby and watched carefully, as permitted and arranged by her parents. She was now nine years old, keen and fearless. She was also eager to have siblings like other children she played with.
Indeed, as the baby’s head emerged, the midwife did not prepare to ease it out, but rather to hurt it! She had a large needle in her left hand that she intended to use to pierce the soft palpitating membrane on the baby’s head. The needle was curved like a darning needle, and therefore not easy to spot as it fit nicely in her half-closed hand.
However, the couple’s daughter glimpsed it and shouted, “She has a needle in her left hand! She has a needle in her left hand! She has a needle in her left hand!”
On hearing this, Jet tried to move away, and the other women drew closer, observed more attentively, and then actually saw and wrestled the needle from the midwife. All along, she had been cleverly using her left hand to conceal and insert the needle, while using her right hand to pretend to assist the delivery.
At last, the eighth pregnancy resulted in a live birth for the couple. It was a baby boy! They never allowed the malicious midwife to aid in delivery again. Jet went on to have five more children. Her young daughter had saved the day!
Arrested Development
Some people refuse to grow up no matter what. Penelope was one such person. She did not want to accept herself as an adult with corresponding responsibilities. She wished to remain a child forever.
To her, growing into adulthood from childhood spelled doom. She did whatever she could to view and present herself, and the world view her, as a child or at most a teenager. People’s negative comments and taunts did nothing to deter her from behaving childishly. Her mind was made up and nothing would change that.
She refused to associate with children her age and was instead left behind holding her mother’s skirt. Despite having younger siblings, she always sat on her mother’s lap and followed her everywhere. Her mother noticed the anomaly and tried to discourage her without success.
She cried like a baby and never saw her younger siblings as needing her care or guidance. Her younger siblings never understood her, and instead transitioned successfully from childhood, leaving her to wallow in a developmental backwater.
When puberty emerged and Penelope began to develop reproductively, she attempted to conceal her growing bosom from public view, by using padding resembling a bullet proof vest. People began to question her gender as a result, but she went further and began to walk with a stoop and dress in a masculine way, which in her society meant wearing trousers always. She also concealed the fact she had begun to menstruate.
Typically she befriended and associated with children, who liked her company and welcomed her unreservedly to play with them. It was also easier for her to play truant rather than learn anything challenging or face up to her weaknesses.
It was more important for her to hide her faults rather than confront and correct them, so she conveniently developed sudden headaches or stomach-aches when challenged with her own wrongdoing. Moreover, she did not mind being held back in school, because she was more comfortable associating with younger schoolmates.
In high school, she continued to keep the company of younger girls and lag in her studies. She did not realize that people found her awkward and out-of-place, and that she was constraining her mental development.
After finishing high school and entering the workforce, Penelope retained her friendships with younger girls and socialized only with the younger people at work and elsewhere. Furthermore, she began to lie about her age, officially and socially.
Her younger siblings were therefore pressured to appear or present themselves as older than her. She wanted to be perceived as being a few years younger than her true age initially, and eventually as the years passed by, as much as ten years younger.
In addition, she was unable to do things that a woman her age typically did well, such as cook foods that were part of the basic cultural cuisine, such as cornmeal mush, vegetables and grains. Moreover, she could not do such basic tasks as chop vegetables or de-sand grains. She constantly indulged her childish fancies, instead of taking the time to learn how to function as an adult.
In relationships with men, Penelope also targeted younger ones exclusively, even teenagers when she was in her twenties. It is hard to say whether or not the men or boys knew her age, but she enticed them, and they came around and stayed a while. It was rumoured that she spent much of her pay on keeping the younger men.
Nevertheless, she had many short relationships over the years, indicating that the men eventually left, perhaps because they discovered her age or other undesirable character traits.
She also never married nor had a child of her own. In addition, when friends got married, she dropped them and sought younger, single ones. She lived alone or with one of her male companions from time to time.
Penelope was also always abuzz about intended projects that never took off or if they did, never progressed substantially, let alone neared fruition. She persuaded and conned many unsuspecting people to contribute financially to her phony projects, including plans, declared more than once, to pursue educational opportunities abroad. She also always had long-winded explanations and excuses to respond to general or particular questions about progress in almost any aspect of her life.
Overall, the best solution was to stay away from Penelope, warn others about her antics and ignore her theatrics.
Persistent Perseverance
Jeanette got married to Michael, an even-tempered gentleman, as he was entering college to pursue a law degree. She never went to college because she landed a good job in the city af
ter high school. She worked in the private sector at a financial institution, in a position that looked very promising for the development of her career.
Jeanette also saw opportunities at work for securing desperately needed loans to advance her family economically. She could borrow from the bank to purchase a house, land, car, furniture and other things. She was excited and motivated to work hard and advance her family in the best ways possible.
As she was earning a decent salary, Jeanette and Michael started a family immediately. They hired a nanny to stay at home with their young children while she worked and he pursued his studies. He chose not to reside on campus, but at home with his family, so they could be together in the evenings and on weekends.
Michael did not need to pay tuition, because the government of the day did so for all students who qualified and wished to pursue higher education then. This created an incentive given that very few young people aspired to go to college, and that many bright and eager students from poor families would have otherwise been deprived of a college education.
Michael’s other financial needs were taken care of by his soft-spoken, humble, hard-working and caring wife. She paid rent, bought food, paid utility bills, bought clothing, took care of transportation and gave him pocket money. In his spare time, Michael played his guitar, and listened to records and audio-cassettes of music he loved, often with friends.
Michael was also a member of Moral Rearmament, a movement of high school and college boys and girls all over Africa in the late sixties, involved in the awakening of the continent to perception through nationalistic songs. They travelled to Addis Ababa, the headquarters of Organization of African Unity and New York, the headquarters of United Nations to make their voices heard internationally; and dressed in bold, colourful African prints to reflect their origins and cause.