by Amy Miles
She shoots me a contemptible look. “Smell?”
“Just humor me. I know how this stuff works...or at least I used to,” I amend, feeling frustration over the continued lack of not being able to use my abilities. I’m not really sure that I can truly remember what life was like before. Before I knew that I was deadly, before I could turn invisible or create tornados with my mind. When emotions didn’t threaten to tear down entire cities. I have spent the past two years hating my abilities, for the responsibility that was placed on my shoulders because of it, and yet now...when they are lost to me I find myself feeling empty.
These past couple of months have taught me one very important thing: my abilities are a part of who I am. Who I am meant to be. I cannot split a soul in half any more than I can strip my abilities away and be grateful for it.
Natasha glances over her shoulder at Hyde and then shrugs. “I heard the hum of the lasers and screaming of course.” She screws up her mouth, chewing on her lower lip. Raising her legs she tucks them under her, balancing crisscross on the chair. “I heard engines,” she says, her eyes widening. “I think they were ours.”
I glance at Hyde. “You have a way off this rock and didn’t tell me?”
“No.” He looks down at Natasha. “We don’t.”
“I meant Caldonian ships. I don’t think they were very big. Maybe one of the smaller scout ships. It was all sort of jumbled but I’d swear to it.”
I run my hands through my hair, thinking it over before looking to Hyde. “Do you think they can find us way out here?”
He shakes his head. “Doubtful. We’ve been trying to track down Drach and his men for years. They come and go with hardly any spacial disturbance. It took our best guys to catch even a small trace of their ship before we were attacked on Calisted. We hardly had any time to put ourselves in position to be taken before they were gone. In and out. Precision attacks. They excel at that.”
“And do you think there are more of them? Now that Drach is gone?”
Natasha snorts and we look over at her. “Seriously?” she says. “You haven’t told her yet?”
Hyde has the good grace to at least look slightly embarrassed. “I didn’t think it was the right time.”
“Whatever,” she rolls her eyes. “Are we done here? It’s past my bedtime.”
I start to say something but Hyde steps in. “Nah. We’re good. Thanks, Tasha.”
She shoots me a hard glance and then leaves, her book long forgotten on the table. “Tasha?” I arch an eyebrow. “You two a couple?”
Hyde snorts. “Hardly. She’s like a little sis to me. I guess after her brother fell it was only natural. She’s a good kid for the most part. You just have a knack at getting under her skin.”
I purse my lips and lean back into my chair. My head has begun to pound. Pain jabs behind my right eye. I’ve been getting more and more frequent headaches the past few days. “So if she’s got Seer blood in her how come she didn’t know her brother was going to die?”
Hyde sighs heavily and sinks into a chair beside me. He places his legs on a chair before us, crossing them at his ankles. He laces his fingers together and rests them in his lap. “She did know.”
His words take a moment to fully sink in and when they do I can feel my throat clench. “That’s why she was there. She knew he was going to fall into that crevice and she tried to save him.”
He nods and remains silent. I close my eyes for a moment, thinking over how truly horrible that must have been for her. To not be strong enough to hold on to him as he slipped from her fingers. “She must have just been a kid,” I whisper.
“Only a few days past fourteen at my best guess. She wears a necklace that he gave her on her birthday. Never takes it off. Don’t think she really can. She’s still trying to hold on to him.”
I offer Hyde a weak smile as I look over at him. “She’s lucky to have you.”
“A lot of good I did for her.” His grim expression melds into a grimace. “I couldn’t even stop those beasts from hurting her on that ship.”
I reach over and take his hand, placing it in mine atop my leg. He looks down at me and I can see confusion in his eyes but I ignore it. “You saved her life, gave her something to fight for. I know something about that. Having a reason to get up each morning and keep fighting is priceless. Without that she wouldn't have made it this long.”
He remains silent beside me for several minutes, long enough for me to think over how drastically I have begun to rely on him. Without Hyde I would struggle to get around. I feel safe with him. Something I was sure I could never feel with anyone other than Eamon, Bastien or Kyan.
“You saved me too,” I whisper. His fingers flinch against mine but he doesn’t pull away. “You know, when we first met I figured you for a real pain in my backside. I’m glad I was wrong about you.”
He clears his throat and straightens up, withdrawing his hand. “Don’t go getting all soft on me now, Queeny. Not sure you really want to see this old guy start blubbering.”
“You’re not old.”
“Trust me...I’m a lot older than I look.”
I nod, glad to know that my guess about him was right. He is Caldonian and as such ages differently than I did on Earth. By appearances I would say that Hyde is at least eight or nine years older than me but by Caldonian math he has probably lived ten times as long as I have.
“When are you going to tell me why you’re really here?” He blinks and turns to look at me, his chin resting on his clasped hands, his elbows perched against his knees. “Come on, Hyde. We both know you’re not in it for the sake of helping countless innocent people. You may be a good guy, but you’re also looking out for number one. Niyah is a big girl and she doesn’t need you to watch out for her so I’d like to know what’s in this for you?”
His adam’s apple bobs several times and still he remains quiet. I wait, knowing that the longer it takes for him to speak the less chance I have of getting an answer from him.
“Fine,” I grunt, pressing heavily against my walking stick to rise to my feet. I waver, threatening to topple over. With my center of gravity thrown off by my ballooning stomach I know without Hyde’s quick reflexes I would have spilled over onto the floor.
“Darn it, Queeny. You’re gonna go and get yourself hurt!” He growls at me as he rises and helps steady me. His hands feel hot and clammy against my shoulders. I can feel the tension coursing through him as he looks away, gritting his teeth.
As a slight flush rises in his cheeks a dawning realization falls over me. “You’re here for a girl.” His jaw clenches as he refuses to look at me. “You’re...you’re in love, aren’t you?”
“Love?” he snorts. “Never been in love before, at least not like the way I’ve seen Niyah look at Bastien.”
When I stiffen he mutters a halfhearted apology. I sway on my feet and he reaches out for me, frowning. “You’re pale as a ghost.” Without stopping to ask, Hyde lifts me into his arms and carries me back to my room. The feel of the familiar cot beneath me is comforting as I lay back. He grabs a blanket off the side table and drapes it over me, too lost in thought to realize how hot it is in here.
“There is someone you care about here though, isn’t there?” I press as gently as I can.
Hyde nods slowly and rises to his full height. “I had a girl once. She was taken about a year ago. No one saw the attack coming. Pulled her right out of my hands.”
He scratches at his beard. Though he has made some effort to keep it at bay since my health decided to improve, I can tell he doesn’t take near the amount of care with his beard as Donan does. “What was her name?” I ask.
“Thesa.”
I smile. “It’s a lovely name.”
Hyde nods absently. “People disapproved of us. Said it was unnatural but I never cared. She was who I wanted and that’s all that mattered.”
I push up onto my elbows to stare up at him, deeply touched by the pain on his face. “Why was it unnatural?”
/>
He glances over at me and then walks away. I watch until he reaches the open doorway. He pauses and looks back. “She was a Faeas from the planet Bristar,” he responds. When he realizes my confusion he almost smiles. “On your world you would have called her a fairy.”
TWENTY-FIVE
The assassin's base is a hive of near constant activity these days. Intel has started to arrive giving away recent movements of the Duturi camp. They are nomads, feeding off the land, using all of its resources before moving on. They are smart. Too smart.
Hyde has been gone a lot, out on patrols. He leads groups deep into the swamps, leaving me alone for hours on end. The longer I am forced to remain behind, the harder it is to accept that this will be my life now. It is not just my unborn children that forces me to rest.
It feels like a constant battle for me to keep depression at bay. I put on a brave face for Hyde and Reyes when they are around, but their free time has diminished and there is no one else here that I feel comfortable with. Since my last chat with Natasha I have discovered that she has been volunteering for the extended hunting trips. I don’t really know if it’s because she would rather not face me in person or if it is my questions that she fears most.
Some part of me wonders if she lied about what she saw. That she held a little back, but if so...why? She certainly doesn’t hold any loyalty toward me so what reason would she have to be dishonest?
Sitting in the main room, watching men gear up all around me, I feel exactly what I have become: utterly useless.
“Cheer up, sweet cheeks,” Hyde calls when he enters the room. He is dressed in a wash of muddy brown and green, much like the cammo the military of Earth donned. These clothes are a brighter green though to match the vines that dangle from the trees, providing cover for them as they move about. “I’ll only be gone a day this time.”
I smile up at him. “What makes you think I’ll miss you?”
He offers me a lopsided grin. Seeing it reminds me of just how much our relationship has changed. He still has his tougher moments, those times when he needs to be stern, like an older brother but there is a softer side to him too.
It took me a few days to finally draw out all of the details about Thesa. A winged being of extraordinary beauty is not something you see every day. He told me her skin was as blue as the sky and her eyes the color of the seas, lavender and filled with life. She liked to laugh, he had told me. It was the first thing that drew him to her. Her laughter sounded like the tinkling of bells. Her wings were made of gossamer, as dark as a plum and spanning from shoulder to her calves. I wish that I could have met her. I am sure I would have liked her.
I know why Hyde leaves each day. He is searching for her. She is his reason for being here. Not for some stupid war, or money or power. Love drives him.
Hyde leans down and ruffles my hair. “See you around.”
I watch him motion for his group to follow him. Five men, each dressed similarly instant fall in line behind him. They jog toward the exit and are gone. I can hear the clattering of pots from another corridor and sigh, knowing that I’m not even fit to help in the kitchens now.
Grabbing my walking stick, I attempt to rise. “No!”
Startled by the cry, I turn and look to see Vanata and Donan rushing toward me. “I just wanted to take a walk.”
Vanata loops her hand through my arm and Donan through the other. Together they help me stand, holding on to me as I struggle to find my balance. It is nearly impossible to see my foot now. My stomach has grown at an alarming rate the past month.
I expect them to release me and let me pass but when they don’t I look to Donan. “What’s wrong?”
He shares a loaded glance with Vanata before speaking. “We need to give you a checkup. Make sure the babies are healthy.”
Even though his words sound sincere I sense a deeper meaning. “What is wrong with my babies?”
Vanata’s grip tightens on my arm for a brief second and I turn to look at her. “Vanata?”
She purses her lips before meeting my gaze. “I am worried about how rapidly they are growing. You can’t be more than six months along but you look nearly full term.”
“Well, they’re twins, right? I mean, it makes sense that they would be large.”
“No.” She shakes her head. “Not this large. I need to examine you.”
Fear roots itself deeply in my heart. I look toward the exit of the cave, wishing Hyde were still here. I have grown to depend on him for strength when I am most afraid and right now, I’m terrified.
I lie with my hand over my closed eyes, trying not to think of all of the possible causes for the rapid growth. Vanata’s hands feel cold against my leg as she examines me. I hold my breath, praying for good news. “Well?”
She lowers the blanket, covering me fully as she helps me lower my leg. Turning her back on me, she walks to the basin and cleans her hands without speaking. I watch her, waiting with bated breath.
Donan stands by the exit to my room, his arms crossed over his chest, his face grim. He exchanges a glance with Vanata then turns to leave without a word or second glance at me. Finally she turns to face me and I can see fear in her eyes.
“Your children are nearing full term. You have maybe a week, two at the most.”
I struggle to rise up onto my elbows. “How is that possible? Human children take much longer to grow.”
Vanata nods and finishes drying her hands before setting aside the towel. “Yes, but you are not human.”
I open my mouth to speak but quickly close it again. It’s true. Although I may have lived on Earth the majority of my life, I am not truly human, not any more. Genetics, time and the atmosphere on Calisted has changed our people. No, we are no longer human. We are something more.
“So it is normal then to bear children this fast?”
“I didn’t say that.” She frowns and leans back against the table. “You are sure of who the father is?”
My mouth gapes open. “Are you implying that I have been with someone other than my husband?”
I can feel anger spilling into my abdomen, warm and fiery. “I have to ask. It’s the only explanation--”
“No,” I growl, cutting her off. “It is not the only explanation because these children belong to my husband so obviously something else has caused this.”
Vanata puffs out a breath and rubs her hand over her face, looking far too exhausted. “Look, all I know is that you need to rest. Whether you like it or not, you’re going to be a mother very soon. We can’t have you hopping about and going into labor too soon.”
“So what? Now I’m stuck here?” I look at the four walls around me, barren and annoyingly familiar. How many countless hours have I been forced to stare at them the past couple of months. No. I can’t take it. “Hyde can carry me.”
“No,” she shakes her head adamantly. “We can’t risk it. I don’t have the equipment to perform any sort of emergency medical treatment if you go into labor too soon. For the sake of your children, please don’t fight me on this.”
I bite down on my tongue, feeling anger roll over me, but along with it comes despair. I can’t give birth to my children without Eamon. He deserves to be here. I need him here.
“Fine, but someone better bring me a good book to read,” I snap, knowing the next week or two is going to feel endless.
I stir, rising from the depths of sleep. It is hot in my room, stifling enough to know that day has returned. “You look like crap,” a voice calls from beside me.
I smile and roll my head to the side to see Hyde sitting on a crate beside my bed. “You’re back.”
“Told you I would be.”
“For a man who sucks at keeping his promises you do seem to keep this one pretty consistently.”
Hyde grins and leans forward, propping his elbows on his knees. “Don’t go getting all soft on me, Queeny. I happen to like the food around here, that’s all.”
I smirk and reach out for him. He clasps my
hand in his, holding it tightly. I can see concern in his eyes and know that he’s spoken with Donan. “So, I’ve been thinking,” he starts, clearing his throat as he suddenly struggles to look me in the eye, “what about I take a few days off. I can keep you company and whatnot. I have got a few jokes I can tell you. Not claiming they’re any good but they’re better than nothing.”
Tears begin to form in the corners of my eyes as I nod. Gratitude swells in my chest. “I would like that, but doesn’t Donan need you on patrol?”
“Nah. I’m sure they can do without this old hot head for a few days.”
I laugh, squeezing his hand. “You’re not so bad, Hyde.”
His smile falters for a second, softening into something surprisingly vulnerable and genuine. “That means a lot, coming from you.”
“Yeah,” I snicker and roll my head back to look at the ceiling, “I have my moments.”
I stretch out my right leg, attempting to roll over but I cry out in pain. Hyde is instantly at my side, his hands gentle yet firm as he lifts my wounded left leg. He draws the covers back and examines the bandaging. Even if it were possible for me to truly see the damage done I have avoided looking, terrified of what I might see. Hyde’s expression shows no emotion. Not disgust. Not resignation.
“Looks like your bandages might be a bit too tight,” he mutters, dipping low to look at the weave. “I could probably figure out how to re-wrap this if you would like.”
I bite down on my lip, knowing that it is going to hurt but I nod. I know that he will be as gentle as possible but the wound is still very tender. Each time Vanata dresses it I am near the point of passing out.
Hyde helps me sit up and eases me around so that my right leg bends over the edge of the bed. He places a rolled towel under my left leg, keeping it up off the hard edge. I close my eyes and lean my head back, waiting for the pain to come.