by Kailin Gow
His eyes shot open.
“What the....?” Justin tossed Max's wrist away in disgust, shoving her away. “Did I just...?” He looked down in a panic at his skin, feeling his teeth.
“You're fine,” said Kalina. “It's Life's Blood, not vampire blood. It won't turn you.”
Justin breathed a sigh of relief, and Kalina felt – tears of relief appearing in her eyes – that she had made the right choice. No matter how much she hated to lose Justin, she could not have stood it if she had made him a vampire against his will.
“You're okay,” Kalina whispered, her voice shaking. “Justin – you're okay!” The tears flowed freely now as she leaped onto him, hugging him so tightly that Justin emitted a pained groan.
“What happened?” Justin looked around. “Where's Molotov?”
“You're fine!” Kalina stroked Justin's hair. “He bit you – he drained you. We thought it was all over for you. But Max – I mean...Mom...she saved you. She gave you her blood. We managed to get rid of Molotov – for now.”
“Then we're safe?” Justin sat up.
“Are we ever really safe?” Kalina turned to Max. “Mom – thank you.”
Max gave a small smile but said nothing.
“What happened to Stuart?” Justin looked over at him. “He looks so...pink. Is he okay?”
“Yeah – I turned him. I'm his maker now.” As Kalina spoke the words, she realized that they still didn't feel real. She had turned Stuart, but her emotions were no different from what they were before – she cared for him very deeply. But did she love him?
“Oh,” Justin looked surprised. “I...uh...well, I didn't see that one coming.”
Kalina smiled softly. “Neither did I,” she admitted.
“I thought it was a choice between...”
“I know,” Kalina said quickly. She didn't want Octavius or Jaegar to hear any more of this than they had to. She looked up and saw Octavius, fixedly staring at Justin, his eyes refusing to fix upon Stuart. “But Stuart got injured – I wanted to save him...”
“And save him you did,” said Octavius. Still he would not look at either of them.
“Wait a second,” said Justin, wiping the dust from his knees. “If you gave Stuart Life's Blood, and that made you his maker....”
“Yes?”
“Does that mean Max is my maker?” He turned to Max. “Are we connected now, too?”
“I haven't often used my blood to cure humans,” said Max. “But I suppose it stands to reason that you and I are now connected by blood.”
Justin's smile turned into a laugh.
“What – what is it?” Kalina asked.
“Well, it's just that – you and me. We're related now – for real. By blood. Max is your biological mom, and her blood's in me now, so...”
Kalina grinned as she squeezed her brother's hand. “It wouldn't have mattered anyway,” said Kalina. “No matter what, you're still my brother. But that doesn't mean I'm not glad you've got a little bit of Life's Blood in you. And if something happens to you – apparently my blood works to save humans too.”
“I'm not drinking your blood, sis,” said Justin. “I don't care how injured I am – that's just gross.”
How quiet it felt, all of a sudden. After the stress of the previous few days, the search for Molotov, all this madness – it was all over. Kalina sighed. But there was still so much left to do. Even if Mal and Olga were gone, the Life's Blood children were in captivity somewhere – they'd have to find them and track them down. And Molotov was still out there...somewhere. But right now Kalina was exhausted. She wanted nothing better than to close her eyes and rest.
But there was still work to be done. Octavius was heavily wounded, and Kalina turned to him. “Octavius, are you sure you don't want me to...I mean, I don't think it'll turn you. It's turned Stuart, and unless he turns back I'm pretty sure it's a one-time deal. But you want to be healed, don't you?”
“Just a scratch,” said Octavius roughly. “Nothing for you to worry yourself about. It'll heal on its own.”
“Listen, Octavius...”
“You made the right choice, Kalina,” he said. “Listen, I'm going to go for a walk – make sure there's no more guards on the premises. You rest. And pay attention to Stuart.” He gave her a slow smile. “The boy's been looking at you for a while now, waiting for you to notice him.”
And indeed, at these words, Stuart began to blush – far more rosily than he had ever done as a vampire.
“It's just...do you want to go for a walk, Kalina? Maybe into the courtyard? Into...the sun?” His smile spread across his face as he slipped the Life's Blood ring from his finger and handed it to Octavius. “I guess I won't be needing this anymore.”
Kalina took Stuart's hand and arm in arm, they walked out towards the courtyard. The sun was high in the sky as Stuart took his first steps into the light. There was no pain, no dull ache – for even the ring could not mitigate the pain for good – but only the fresh, warm light pouring down onto his forehead. Stuart took a tentative step forward, surprised to find that no part of him had burst into flames. “Look, Kalina!” he cried, grinning. “It's real! I'm in the sun! Look!”
Kalina couldn't help but grin as she ran after him.
“Food!” Stuart turned to her, grabbing her hands. “Human food – anything! Do you have anything in your bag?”
Kalina checked. “Nothing,” she said. “Only this half-eaten chocolate bar from a couple of days ago – It's probably really gross...covered in lint...”
Stuart didn't care. He grabbed the bar of chocolate and stuffed it into his mouth, swallowing greedily. “Human food. I've never had chocolate before! We didn't have chocolate in England back when I was turned...by the time it was discovered...” He wiped the chocolate from his mouth, seemingly overwhelmed at the flavor. “It's so good! I mean – so that's what all the fuss is about!” He couldn't contain his excitement, jumping up and down as he bounded through the courtyard. “And church! Kalina – I'll be able to start going back into churches again! And...and...” He stopped short, his gaze falling squarely on Kalina. “And you,” he said, softly.
He pulled her in for a kiss. How different his kiss felt now that he was human, Kalina noted. He was softer. More tender. His passion had given way to sheer, unadulterated happiness. And she should be happy too, shouldn't she? After all – her blood had spoken.
But what if I don't want to listen to my blood?
Kalina forced a smile on her face, but she was raging inwardly. For so long, she had resigned herself to the fact that her blood would choose for her, that her powers would call out to the one whom she was meant to choose. Well, she had turned Stuart – her blood had chosen. But what about her mind? Her heart? Her soul?
“I'm so happy, Kalina,” Stuart whispered. “I've never been so happy – not for hundreds and hundreds of years. I never dreamed that you'd have picked me...”
“No,” said Kalina wistfully. “I never dreamed it either.”
Chapter 20
“I should get back inside,” said Kalina. “I want to talk to Octavius and Jaegar. Make sure of things – you know. Make sure that everything's okay!”
“I'll come with you!” Stuart sprang towards her. He was like a puppy, Kalina thought. So excited at this new humanity, so over-eager. His very joy filled her with guilt. What if it was true that she didn't love him enough? Would he turn back like Jaegar had done? No – she couldn't dream of leaving him, not if it meant destroying his humanity once more. How could she possibly subject Stuart to such a fate? She shook her head. She was being silly, she told herself. Selfish. She should be happy to see someone she cared about so deeply being made human again. Not regretting her choice!
And yet had she chosen? In the moment, Kalina was so desperate to save Stuart, so desperate to give him what he wanted, that she hadn't thought it through. Was this it? Was this the end of her journey – was she to say goodbye to Octavius and Jaegar forever? She had imagined that once she turn
ed her true love, all others would fade away. Her other feelings would vanish. And yet she longed for Octavius and Jaegar more deeply than before.
“You stay out here,” said Kalina. “You should soak up the sun! I'll be back out in a bit.” But the truth was – she wanted to get away from Stuart for a while. Looking at him filled her with such uncertainty. She only wanted to be alone – to get away from all this confusion. She wanted to go back to Octavius and Jaegar, to look them in the eye, to try and convince herself that she didn't love them....
Octavius – so strong, so powerful, so mysterious. He represented a world unlike any she had ever known: seductive, powerful, luxurious. They had bonded over discussions of music and art; he had taken her to the theater and the opera. He had read her poetry. With Octavius, she felt as if she was constantly on the verge of exploring this new world. She wanted so badly to have him – to possess him; his very unavailability maddened her! She thought she loved him – she had always imagined that she loved him most of all!
But did she love him? As she re-entered the room, she found that Octavius still took her breath away. His strength, his muscular chest, the way he brushed his long hair back from his shoulders. He still filled her with awe.
But as her eyes scanned the room, Kalina felt that one name, and one name alone, was beating in her heart. Jaegar. She had known him first; from their first argument there had been an undeniable spark between them. They were best friends; they were lovers. If Octavius was always off in the distance – inaccessible and heroic – Jaegar was passionate and in the present. He was here with her, always – even when Octavius felt a million miles away.
Except when he wasn't.
Kalina noticed with a shock that Jaegar was gone.
“Octavius, have you seen...”
“Stuart? He's outside,” Octavius said gruffly. “You haven't been keeping an eye on him? I would have thought that the two of you would have run off immediately to some private chamber.” He smiled sadly. “I imagined you'd turn Jaegar,” said Octavius. “Not Stuart.”
“I wanted to turn you,” Kalina admitted, desperately.
“It was never a possibility,” said Octavius. “But you have made your choice now. And I do not begrudge you it for a moment. I want you to be happy, Kalina. And to make someone else very happy. And you have done that.”
“But something's wrong...” Kalina began. “I haven't chosen. It just...”
“Hush!” Octavius put a finger to her lips. “You needn't apologize to me, Kalina. I never expected you to wait forever. I knew you would move on – as it was meant for you to do. Our love – it was built on dreams. On fantasies. On a few nights I will remember for the rest of eternity as being among the most wonderful in my existence. But it wasn't real, Kalina. There was no future there – I know that now. With Stuart you can go off to university. You can have a normal life – choose a profession that has nothing to do with vampires. Marry. Have children.”
“Octavius, I don't want children! I'm eighteen, not thirty!”
“You speak as if there is a great chasm between those two ages. But I am nearly twenty-one centuries old. The years you speak of are like dust in an hourglass to me. I will always love you, Kalina. But my life is no life for you. For anyone.” Kalina could hear the sorrow in his voice, and as she stood before him, she felt her heart breaking.
No – this wasn't how this was supposed to go. This wasn't how it was supposed to go at all! The moment she turned a vampire was supposed to be the happiest moment of her life. Instead, Kalina felt a grief in her heart so deep it almost paralyzed her.
“Darling?” Stuart entered, the smile still wide on his face.
Octavius turned and went over to Stuart, clapping him on the shoulder. “I wish you all the best, my boy,” he said. “Be good to her – as she has been good to you. I want you to go back to Rutherford, both of you. Max and I can follow the Carriers on our own – with Jaegar, if he is willing. Her blood and my strength – now that we have the rubies, we no longer need to fight in such great numbers. And once you and Kalina marry, and consummate that union, the Life's Blood will cease to be as strong. Fewer vampires will seek you out – and those that do, you will be able to easily fight off. Live the life you deserve – both of you.”
Stuart and Octavius embraced one another – as family, as friends, at last.
Max walked over to Kalina.
“How are you feeling?” Max said. “I know that face – that's not the face of true love, is it?”
Kalina said nothing. This woman – her mother or not – barely knew her! How could she know what Kalina was feeling or not feeling. “It's complicated,” said Kalina.
“It always is,” said Max. “Stuart is a good man. Was a good vampire. I don't imagine he'll treat you unkindly – not ever. He’ll cherish you for as long as he lives. If that's enough for you, then so be it. But...I waited a long time for your father. He fought in the Consortium too.”
Kalina's ears pricked up. This was the first time she had heard tell of her biological father.
“Like Octavius, he believed that he would never turn. That there was too much to be accomplished. Then one day – it was time...and Constantine put down his sword and never looked back.”
“But it's too late,” Kalina's lips trembled. “I already turned Stuart. That's it – right?”
“But he's not the only vampire you've turned, is he? Stuart told me about Jaegar.”
“But it didn't work,” Kalina said. “It didn't count then – he turned back.”
Max looked skeptical. “In all my years as a Carrier,” she said. “I've never heard of a vampire turning back. It's impossible. Once you're a human, you're a human. That's it.”
“But Jaegar...”
“You'd have to ask him,” said Max. “Your blood is not like my blood. It's enhanced. Your powers are greater than mine. There's no reason why you shouldn't be able to turn two vampires – or three.”
“You think I turned...”
“Never doubt your powers, Kalina,” said Max. “And don't give up too soon. Your father turned. He was a great Emperor once – an earthly emperor. And then a great general vampire. And then a great man.”
She turned away.
“Emperor...Constantine?” Kalina put it all together. “The Roman Emperor Constantine?”
Max said nothing. At last she turned to Kalina. “I don't know how to do this,” she said simply. “I'm not maternal by nature. I don't do bonding. But you're a strong girl, Kalina. And I've given you good advice. It's up to you to take it. And I have no doubt that whatever you want – be it a vampire or be it anything else – you'll be able to get it. Just don't settle for anything less.”
And with that, Max vanished, leaving Kalina alone and utterly confused. What did Max mean about turning Jaegar? Had she turned Jaegar after all? Could her blood work on more than one vampire? And why was she so reluctant to give her answers?
“I'm going to find Jaegar,” said Kalina to Stuart. “To say goodbye.”
She left the room, calling Jaegar's name softly. But he was nowhere to be found. She searched the upstairs, the labyrinthine rows of chambers upon chambers, the rafters and the closets, but she could find no sign of him.
“Jaegar?” she called out loud. Then she tried telepathy: Jaegar?
But there was no answer – only silence. It was as if the bond between them had been broken. Kalina felt a sudden pang as it hit her. Jaegar wasn't there at all. He had gone – severing their bonds of telepathy. Wherever he was, he didn't want her to be able to reach him.
Kalina felt a strange lump in her throat. How could Jaegar leave like that? She knew she had hurt him deeply – more deeply than she could ever have thought possible. She had pursued him in the woods, promised him her love, and then turned his brother...
But she hadn't meant to – she hadn't been thinking. She was so upset over Justin, so worried, wanting nothing but to save Stuart in the moment...
And she still loved Jae
gar. It was clearer to her now than it had ever been, as she desperately called his name one last time, her words echoing back to her from the rafters.
She came out into the courtyard, but she knew the attempt was futile. She picked up a stone and angrily threw it into the pond, all the while knowing that the ripples would do little to assuage her frustration. But as the pond rippled, a small tin box floated to the surface, shimmering in the noon light.
She felt her blood calling to her once more. It's yours, Kalina. Take it.
Kalina stepped forth. The box seemed to be glowing just for her, beckoning her forth. She knelt and reached out for the box. As her fingertips brushed its edges, she felt a sudden, swift breeze come upon her.
“Jaegar?” She looked up.
But there was nobody there.
Kalina took a closer look at the books. There, in Chinese characters she made out from hazy memory of childhood language classes, she recognized the name of the great doctor from whose laboratory Life's Blood had come.
This was his box.
And now it was hers.
Epilogue
There had been a great feast. Once they had arrived back in Rutherford, Justin had insisted on cooking an enormous meal for Kalina and Stuart, eager to ensure that Stuart was able to sample all of his favorite dishes. Steak and chicken, pork and fish, and copious amounts of chocolate had all made their way into their collective bellies. Stuart had taken to humanity with glee. Already he had been a human for far longer than Jaegar had been before he had turned back (if he had turned back, Kalina wondered), and it was clear that there were no signs that he would return to his vampire state. It had been a while since Kalina had been in California – she had not been back since leaving for her ill-fated Yale orientation – and she was happy to be back once more among its soft breezes and scented vines.
Stuart's happiness buoyed her own. She loved seeing him smile, watching him eat and drink. She had even gone with him to church that Sunday, and watched with pride as Stuart took his first human communion in seven hundred years.