by Tia Lewis
"What's it like?" I asked, curious.
"What do you mean?"
"I mean, what's it like to hit someone?" I asked, insanely curious to know what drove Travis. "Do you think about it?"
He motioned for another beer and then looked over at me, a spark in his eyes. "You can't think about it. If you do, you'll be blown away before you ever get a chance to throw the first punch. Your mind goes blank for a moment right before you throw the first punch, and then you don't remember the rest of it. Your body works like a machine, and before you know it, it's all over with."
I could hear in his words that he truly loved to fight. It was something about the passion as he told me how it felt, the same passion I felt when I was cooking. I could relate, oh I could so relate. "Why did you stop?" I asked. The spark disappeared, and his expression grew hard, looking away, but not before I could capture the naked pain in his eyes. "I just did," he said roughly as Jim brought him another beer.
"Oh," I answered, sensing the sudden change in his body language. I couldn't imagine just quitting cooking. It was my life or had been my life before I had gotten all wrapped up in Kevin. "Do you ever want to go back?"
Travis gripped the beer tightly in his hands, avoiding my gaze. "No, I don't."
Chapter Nine
Travis
I didn't like all the questions. I knew that Julia was trying to be friendly, but they were hitting too close to home for me. Having left the bar, we walked through the snow together toward my place, silent since we had left. I didn't know why I had taken her to the bar tonight, but she had looked like she could use a beer, and I felt like I could use a whole damn case. I had lied to her about not getting back in the cage. The guys needed me. The gym needed me. I was going to have to do it. The thought made the beer in my stomach churn uncomfortably.
We reached my place, and I closed the door behind us, flipping the locks. "It's so cold out there," Julia remarked as she stripped off her coat. "I'm definitely not cut out for this kind of weather."
I turned, leaning against the door. "Why are you here, Julia?"
She froze, her eyes going wide. "What?"
"Here in Chicago," I said, crossing my arms over my chest. "What are you doing here?"
She swallowed, and laid her coat on the back of the couch, looking unsure on whether to tell me the truth or not. It was written all over her face. "I don't want to involve you."
I laughed. "Darling, I'm already involved. Just tell me the damn truth."
She bristled at the endearment, and I cleared my throat, surprised it had come out like that at all. "Fine," Julia said, crossing her arms over her chest. "I came out here for my then boyfriend."
Of course, she did. What asshole had dumped her? I found myself wanting to know. She didn't disappoint.
"He cleaned out my accounts and took all of my money," she continued, her voice growing soft. "If you hadn't come along, I don't know what I would have done."
I reigned in my anger, not wanting to scare her. I wasn't her savior by any means, but her asshole ex deserved to have his ass kicked. "And the guys from the other night?" I asked. "Why were they after you?"
"I, Kevin owes them money," she answered, her eyes growing dark with anger. "I don't know what he's gotten into, but he sure as hell didn't use my money to pay them back."
"Has he tried to contact you?" I asked.
She shook her head no. "No, not yet. I imagine he won't now that he got what he wanted."
Hurt flashed across her expression, and I suddenly wanted to find this fucker. He had hurt her deeply, and I imagined she had loved him. After all, she had moved all the way across the country for him. "He won't get away with this," I growled, unable to keep the anger out of my voice.
Julia laughed, dropping her arms. "It doesn't matter. I just want these guys to leave me alone, and let me go back to California to rebuild my life. That's all I want."
"It does matter," I shot back, pushing away from the door. "This fucker took your money and lied to you. Why wouldn't you want to get back at him?"
Tears glimmered in her eyes before she blinked them away. "I, I just want to put everything back as it was before Kevin, before I gave up everything to move out here."
I sighed and reached out, wiping away the tear from her cheek before I realized what I was doing. Her mouth parted as my finger trailed down her soft cheek, and I knew I was in trouble. My lips found hers, and she gasped as my tongue invaded her mouth, tasting her. I wanted her to forget about the asshole that had presumably broken her heart. My body revved up in anticipation as her hands gripped the lapels of my coat, pulling me toward her as she hungrily accepted my kiss, her tongue touching mine, and damn near setting me on fire in the process. I slid a hand behind her neck and angled her head, my tongue stroking hers and causing her to moan in my mouth. Hell yes. This was what was missing. This was what I had missed. Nicole's face flitted into my mind, and I pushed away from Julia, the pain licking up into my chest. No. I couldn't do this. I couldn't betray her memory.
"I'm sorry," I ground out, running a hand through my head roughly, pissed that I had allowed that moment of weakness to surface. "I didn't mean to do that."
"You could have fooled me," she said softly, her breathing ragged.
I swore under my breath and looked up, momentarily distracted by the rosy redness of her lips, the simmering heat that was reflecting in her eyes. "It was a mistake."
She shrugged a shoulder. "Of course it was. Why would you want to kiss someone like me?"
"Wait a minute," I started as she let out a little laugh, and started to the bedroom, her shoulders holding tension that hadn't been there before. "It's not like that."
She waved a hand at me as she turned the corner, the sound of my bedroom door slamming a moment later rattling the glasses in the cabinets. Shit. I hadn't meant it to come out like that. She didn't understand what was going on inside me, the pain, the torture of allowing my damn pride get in the way of the one thing that was good in my life, the one thing that had been damn perfect. I could care less about her past, or the baggage she was carrying around. I didn't want to get her in the same position as I had Nicole in the end.
Sighing, I opened the locks on the door and stepped out into the cold to clear my head. Now, I knew what she was running from. She had been damn lucky that night that I had found her. Something told me she would be floating in the river right now if I hadn't intervened. So where was this asshole ex of hers, and what had he needed with the money?
Chapter Ten
Julia
I walked up the stairs carefully, knowing that at any moment I could probably get my head blown off by some waiting ambush. Maybe this hadn't been such a good idea, but it was too late to turn back. I needed the rest of my stuff, plus I was kinda hoping Kevin would be here so I could blast him a new one for putting me in this situation.
It was Travis's fault. I had heard him leave, the taste of him still on my lips, my heart pounding like crazy at the hot kiss that we had shared right before he had pretty much told me that I was a mistake. A mistake. I had made a lot of those in my life, but I had never been told I was a mistake. It irked me that now he knew my issue, my weakness.
Reaching the top of the stairs, I found Kevin's apartment and the spare key I had hidden what seemed like months ago, inserting it into the lock carefully. Someone could be on the other side of the door, waiting to shoot me and dump my body in the river. Or hold me for ransom as they waited for Kevin to pay them back. I didn't know which one was worse to tell you the truth. I pushed open the door and was relieved to see that the apartment was messy but blessedly empty. Tears stung my eyes as I saw small touches I had brought out of storage, attempting to put my mark on a bachelor household. This was going to be my home, yet Kevin had ruined it all.
With a shudder, I wiped away the tears and walked to the bedroom, seeing that the place looked largely untouched since I had left that night. My clothes were still draped over the chair near the vanity,
my bathroom products still in the shower. Spying my suitcase in the corner, I pulled it onto the bed and opened it, throwing anything I could find that was mine inside. I didn't have a lot of time and didn't even know if this place was being watched, but I didn't want to spend any more time than I had to.
It took me all of five minutes to gather all the things I had brought with me to the apartment, leaving behind the photo frames of a smiling couple that I didn't even know anymore. I looked so happy, so naïve to the man that was grinning next to me. It hurt, oh it hurt to know what I had lost, or what I really never had, to begin with. I stepped out of the bedroom and down the hall, running smack into a solid wall of muscle.
My heart lodged in my throat as two strong hands gripped my upper arms, thinking this was it. This was the end. I was going to die tonight.
"What the hell are you doing?"
I looked up into the angry eyes of Travis, his harsh whispering snapping me back into reality. He looked super pissed. "Did you follow me?"
"You bet your ass I did," he said in a hushed voice, grabbing my hand and pulling me down the hall, my suitcase banging loudly against the floor. "What were you thinking?"
"I needed my stuff," I said as we reached the door, his fingers biting into the tender flesh of my upper arm through my coat.
"Your stuff," he muttered, pushing me through the doorway and stepping out, shutting the door behind him. "You would risk your life to come and get your stuff?"
I sniffed. It sounded ridiculous coming out of his mouth. "Well, I couldn't very well run around naked could I?"
His hand dropped from my arm as if he was burned, and I turned to face him, seeing the indecision and the flare of heat in his eyes. Perhaps it wasn't the best choice of words then. I felt the warmth spread through my limbs as I looked into his fiery eyes, the building melting away. I wanted to kiss him again. I wanted to feel his lips against mine, his hands on my body. I craved it.
My phone vibrated in my pocket and the moment was broken as I pulled it out, frowning as I saw the number. "It's Kevin," I said, feeling the anger replace the heat.
"Answer the damn thing," Travis said tightly. I hit the button, putting it on speakerphone so that he could hear as well. "What do you want?" I asked harshly.
"Juls, thank god you answered," Kevin's breathless voice came through the speaker, the nickname not rubbing me the way it had in the past. "Where are you?"
"That is none of your business," I shot back. "Where is my money, Kevin?"
I heard him sigh over the line. "It's gone Juls, long gone. You wouldn't understand why I took it."
"I don't care why you took it," I said angrily, wishing he was standing before me so I could deck him just once. "I trusted you."
"I need more," he said instead, not acknowledging my words. "Or they are going to kill us both, Juls."
"How dare you drag me into this," I answered, my hands shaking now. "I had nothing to do with this, nothing at all. I'm done." All I was guilty of was loving the wrong man, and putting my trust in him. Whatever Kevin was involved in, I had nothing to do with.
"Twenty grand," he interrupted, clearly not understanding what I was saying. "Twenty grand or you and I are toast, dead, dropped into the river, Juls. These guys are serious, and they will not stop until they get their money. Keep this phone on you. I'll be in contact."
Before I could respond, he hung up, leaving me holding the phone, unable to meet Travis's eyes. Twenty grand? What had Kevin got us into?
"He's a fucking asshole," Travis muttered, grabbing my suitcase. "Come on."
Speechless, I followed Travis down the stairs and out to the street, where Travis was manhandling my suitcase like it was full of cotton. Snow had started to fall again, more like the icy cold snow than the fluffy stuff. I pulled up my hood on my coat and stuck my hands in my pockets, wishing I had Travis's gloves.
"What were you thinking?"
I looked over at Travis, seeing the clench of his jaw on his face. Why did he care what I did? It wasn't like he had any control over my miserable existence at the moment. "About what? Falling in love with Kevin and moving out here? Getting myself involved in something I have no idea what he is talking about? What?"
Travis turned. "I was just going to ask what you were thinking about coming out here tonight, but while we are on it, why the fuck did you get involved with that asshole?"
I colored and marched on toward the apartment, my hands clenched inside my coat. That was none of his business. We all made stupid, stupid mistakes. Mine just happened to end up in nearly losing my life.
He caught me around the corner, not far from the door to his apartment. "Why are you so pissed? I asked a question?"
I shrugged him off, feeling exhausted and worn down. "You didn't ask a question you asshole. You pretty much told me I suck at my choices. I'm sorry, we can't all be like your precious Nicole."
His face drained, and he stumbled back, like he had seen, or heard a ghost. I got this funny feeling in my chest as I watched him, wondering if maybe I had overstepped some invisible boundary. "What, where did you hear that fucking name?"
I swallowed. "I-I heard you say it in your sleep."
He ran a hand over his face and dropped my suitcase at my feet before turning and walking away, his breaths coming out in short pants. I briefly thought about calling after him or at least apologizing, but instead, I picked up my suitcase and hefted it toward the apartment. First the phone call from Kevin and now this. I had pissed Travis off, why I wasn't sure or who Nicole was to him. Whoever it was, he was deeply hurt by her. "You're such a bitch," I muttered to myself as I struggled with opening the door and stepping into the warmth of his apartment. Travis had done nothing but help me out since this mess started. Why hadn't I just kept my mouth shut?
Chapter Eleven
Travis
The Next Day
"Dude, you look like death warmed over. Are you sure you want to do this today?"
I slid my hands into the gloves, the feel of them like a familiar friend. It had been three years since I had placed anything like this on my hands, yet it also felt like yesterday that I had stepped out of that cage, my high suddenly and tragically cut off. Slapping the gloves against my thighs, I looked up at Tony, who was waiting for me in the cage. It was late in the evening, everyone gone home with the exception of the two of us. "Yeah," I said, drawing in a deep breath as I looked at the cage. "I'm ready for this."
Tony shook his head and stepped back from the doorway. "Well come on then. Hannah and I have a date tonight, and she will skewer me if I am late, or bleeding so take it easy."
I stepped up onto the stairs, my heart hammering in my chest as I looked at the open door. I could do this. It was just a cage, just a bout with Tony, not even a real fight. There was no one here except the two of us, and all I had to do was throw a few punches, stretch out some muscles and take Tony down in a swift move. Then I could breathe again.
When my bare foot touched the mat, I shivered. I had taken this for granted, thinking that I would always be in the cage, that I would die in the cage one day with a grin on my face. Funny how life had thrown me a curveball that would end my career.
"Come on," Tony urged, throwing a few punches into the air. "What are you waiting for, man?"
I stepped inside the cage and rolled my shoulders, feeling that rush of adrenaline before it was replaced by memories, horrible memories that were long buried. I swallowed, trying to force down the bile in my throat.
"Trav? Are you okay man?"
I shook my head and stumbled back, falling against the cage, the cold metal biting into my bare back. I heard Tony curse and walk toward me, stripping off his gloves in the process. The room swam, and I slid down to the mat, my head in my gloved hands.
"Shit," Tony said, kneeling down before me. "Should I call someone?"
"I'm fine," I forced out, willing it to go away. "Give me a minute."
Tony slid in next to me and stretched out his legs as I
stripped off the gloves, my vision clearing. I thought I could do this easily, but the past was still hanging on, reminding me of everything I lost because of the one night I put this cage before the most important thing in my life. It was just too late for me to realize it.
"Care to talk about it, man?"
I shook my head, wanting nothing more than to get out of this cage and away from the memories.
Tony sighed and leaned his head against the cage, crossing his legs. "You know there was a time in my life I thought I would never get into this cage again. I thought my career was over and I would trade anything to get back into the fight."
I looked over at him. "But you did get back in the cage and won a match." Tony had proved everyone wrong and climbed back in the cage even with his bum knee.
A grin slid over his lips. "Yeah, I did." He then chuckled. "But you know I thought it was the most important thing to do so, until I met Hannah."
His words hit too close to home, and I cleared my throat. It had been the complete opposite for me. "Yeah well, it was too late for me."
"Figured as much," Tony said, rubbing his knee. "You know there were rumors that you were dating Chester Matthews' daughter."
"It wasn't a rumor," I said softly, the permanent pain causing an ache in the center of my chest where my heart used to be.
"Figured that, too," Tony answered. "I'm not as dumb as I look you know."
I chuckled, feeling exhausted. "Yeah, well now you understand."
"You need help, Travis," he said softly. "Someone to help you get through this."
"There's nothing that is going to help with this," I ground out, pushing off the mat and standing. Nothing I did was going to bring Nicole back, and I sure as hell didn't want to forget her. Apparently, I was talking about her in my sleep as well. "I'll push through it."