by Tia Lewis
I looked over at him. "I, thanks, Tony."
He clapped me on the shoulder before standing, a grin on his face. "You're welcome. Maybe if this gym thing doesn't pan out, I can go into therapy."
I laughed as he walked out of the locker room, feeling horrible about what I had done in the cage today, what I hadn't been able to control. I was losing it. Hell, I never had it to begin with. It was time to re-evaluate my life.
Chapter Fourteen
Julia
I walked through the mall, my eyes darting left and right to find anyone that could potentially be looking to grab me, but finding no one. It was Sunday, and with the cold weather outside, the mall was packed with families looking for an outlet to let their kids run free. And there was a lot of kids around. I just hoped that nothing bad happened today to injure any of these innocent people. I shouldn't have come, but the chance to see Kevin face to face, to tell him to get me out of this mess was too great.
I rounded the corner and saw Kevin lounging on a bench near the food court, not trying to hide his appearance whatsoever. Clearly, he wasn't worried about being seen. Shouldering my bag, I walked over, taking a seat next to him. "You asshole."
He turned a grin that had stirred my blood many times before on his face. "Hey, Juls. You are looking hot today."
I tugged on the hat I had borrowed from Travis's closet, giving him a scowl. "This isn't a social call, Kevin. You ruined my life. I want my money back, and I want it back now."
His grin changed to something with a hint of sadness and had he not stolen everything from me; I would have felt an inch of compassion for him. Luckily I did not. "I had no choice Juls. I got, I got into some debt with some really bad people here in Chicago, and needed the funds. Your money was just the tip of the iceberg."
"What could you have done to get this far into debt?" I asked, needing to know. "And how much are we talking about?" I had with all of my accounts combined about thirty grand before he had taken it all.
He shrugged, something flickering akin to fear flickering across his face. "Seventy-five."
"Seventy-five?" I asked, shocked. "As in thousand? What the hell have you done that cost you seventy-five thousand?"
Kevin didn't look at me, though his leg started to bob up and down, a motion he always did when he was nervous about something. "You know, I enjoy a good time at the tables."
I gritted my teeth, unable to believe this. Yeah, we had gone out a few times to the casinos when he had visited, even taking a weekend trip to Las Vegas, but I would have never guessed that he was this careless with money. I mean, that kind of money meant he had been doing it for a long time. It pissed me off. "Was I just a pawn to get your money back?" I asked softly, balling my fists up, my fingernails biting into my palms.
He sighed and looked over at me, his expression was emotionless. "Come on now, Juls, we had a good time, didn't we?"
That wasn't the answer I was looking for. He had used me. This had never been about love or affection, but greed. I hated him. Standing on shaking legs, I leaned in. "I hate you. I wish I'd never met you."
To my surprise, he didn't even waver. "Shit happens, Juls. You're tied up in this now, and unless we get them their money, we are going to both be floating in the river."
I walked away, every nerve in my body wanting to hit him for what he had done to me, my heart aching that I had been duped by someone I thought loved me. The way I was feeling at this moment, I would gladly welcome a bullet in my brain. How had I been so blind? How had I let him get to me like this?
It didn't take me long to make it back to the apartment, the sun setting low in the sky as I pushed open the door and stepped in. The place was dark, not a light on and I felt a shiver of worry slide through my body as I shut the door
"Where the hell have you been?"
Jumping, I turned to see a figure sitting at the island. "You nearly scared me to death. What are you doing sitting in the dark?"
He chuckled, no warmth in the sound. "Answer the question, Julia."
I shed my coat and threw it on the couch. "I don't answer to you." The hurt was too fresh. I didn't want to tell him how unbelievably stupid I had been in trusting, in loving Kevin. He had pulled the wool over my eyes; there was no doubt about that.
He made a sound as I approached the kitchen, desperately wanting a drink. "Someone wants you fucking dead, Julia. I thought you would be more careful."
Yanking open the fridge, I nearly wept when I saw that the beer was not there. Damn. I had nothing to drown my sorrows with. Turning around, I saw the bottle of tequila in the dim light sitting in front of Travis, an empty shot glass next to it. It was then I realized that he looked horrible, his right cheek bruised and swelling, a thin line of red glistening in the light. "What happened to you?" I asked softly, my heart hammering in my chest.
He motioned to the door. "Mind not letting all of the cold air out of the fridge?"
I shut the door, closeting us back into darkness. As my eyes adjusted, I watched as he poured another shot and pushed it toward me. "Here," he said roughly. "You look like you need it, too."
I reached over and gripped the glass, throwing back the liquid before I could change my mind, the fiery burn chasing all the way down to my stomach. "Thanks."
"Don't mention it," he said as I set the glass back on the island. "I got back into the cage today. You should see the other guy."
"I thought you were a good fighter," I joked, attempting to lighten the mood. I wasn't the only one that had experienced a bad day, apparently.
He chuckled, grabbing the glass and pouring himself a shot. "Yeah well, like I said, you should see the other guy."
I watched as he tipped back the glass and downed the shot, wondering how many he had consumed before I had arrived. He didn't look drunk nor were his words slurring, but I imagined that he could hold his liquor much better than I could.
Reaching over, I cut on the light above the stove, the darkness making me nervous. The dim light allowed me to view Travis's face once more, the harsh cut and purple bruise making him look more dangerous, right down to the swollen knuckles that gripped the glass. "Is this a normal after fight look?" I asked, leaning against the island.
He shrugged, looking at the half empty bottle. "Sometimes. There have been nights I've come out without a scratch, others that you would have thought I was dying. The pain, it's still all the same."
I looked down at his hands, scarred from numerous fights from the past. "Your hands? Do they hurt you?" I had seen him flex them often.
He nodded. "All the damn time. Damn arthritis will be the death of me."
Kevin's stupid ass was going to be the death of me, but I didn't voice that out loud. I turned back to the freezer and opened it, searching until I found a bag of frozen vegetables in the back, buried under a pile of frozen pizzas. Pulling it out, I turned and handed them to him. "Here," I said softly, shutting the door. "Put this on your face."
"Frozen peas," he said, a small grin appearing on his face as he took the bag from me. "The cure-all for a bruise."
I smiled. "Sorry, there aren't any steaks in there."
He placed it on his face, wincing as the coldness touched his battered skin. "That would be a waste of a good steak."
I didn't say anything, reaching for the glass and bottle, pouring me another shot. The warmth was already swimming around my empty stomach, and I just wanted to fade away, for the pain to go away if only for a little while.
"I'm sorry about the other night."
I nearly missed the counter, my hands trembling as I set the bottle down carefully. "What?"
"The kiss," Travis answered, his eyes on mine. "I'm sorry."
No, no. I didn't want him to say he was sorry about that. It had been the singular moment in my life where I had been able to forget. Not only that, it was the hottest kiss I had experienced in a while. "It's fine."
"It's not fine," he said harshly, dropping the peas on the counter. "I took advantage of you,
and you've been taken advantage of far too much."
I slammed my hand down on the counter, surprising us both. "I don't want your apology. I just want to forget. Is that too much to ask?"
His eyes widened briefly as I sucked in a breath, feeling emotionally and physically exhausted. I just wanted to go back to my life before Kevin. I wanted to be happy again. I didn't want to feel this yawning existence of pain that seemed like it would never go away.
"I want to forget, too."
His soft answer stunned me. "What could you possibly want to forget?"
He sighed and looked down at his empty glass. "Nicole. Hell, I can't forget her. I've tried, believe me, I've fucking tried but I can't, it's my fault she's dead."
I swallowed hard at his omission, hearing the pain in his voice. His ex-fiancée. I was insanely jealous of what he had with a woman I had never met, and while I knew I shouldn't be, I was. She had been one lucky woman to have his love. Wait. What did he mean it was his fault? "Surely, you don't believe that."
He chuckled, his eyes sliding up to meet mine, but there was no warmth in his stare. "Yeah, I do. Nicole was on her way to a damn fight, one that I pushed her into going to when she was hit dead on by a drunk driver." He rubbed his hand over his face. "It was selfish. It was stupid. Do you know what the last words I said to her were?"
I shook my head, emotion clogging my throat.
Travis looked at me for a moment before he let out a ragged breath. "I told her she was being selfish. Can you believe that? I was such an asshole. Because of me, she died as well as our unborn child."
Oh god. The pain on his face was intense now. He had a child? I couldn't imagine the pain he had gone through, the suffering that had eaten at him. Suddenly, my problems didn't seem so important. Now I understood why he had been so standoffish for the longest time. He had every right, but one thing was for sure, it wasn't his fault.
Rounding the counter, I sat down on the other bar stool facing him, my hand reaching out to touch his arm. "I-I'm so sorry."
He looked down at my hand, his mouth in a hard line. "It's the reason I can't go back into the cage. Every time I do, I think about her and what I lost. I damn near killed a man today because I can't control this rage, the anxiety of every time stepping into that cage and seeing her face."
My heart nearly shriveled up and died at the thought of his pain. It was soul sucking and had driven his life for so long. How had he survived this long? I had heard of people dying of a broken heart, but this, who could have lived through this? I didn't know what to say or how to ease his pain.
"I've got to get back in the cage," he continued after a moment. "The gym needs me; the guys need me."
"I'll help you," I said quickly, really unsure of how I was going to do that. I had my own issues, my own problems, yet I felt compelled to help him get over this hump. Besides he had done so much for me that I owed him so much more. "Whatever you need me to do."
He shook off my touch and stood abruptly, stalking toward the door. He was leaving again. Was I getting too close? Something told me I was already there. Standing, I hurried after him, grabbing his arm as he reached for his coat. "Quit running away, and let someone help you. It's not good to leave this bottled up inside."
His nostrils flared, and he walked toward me, backing me up against the couch with his hands braced against the back, trapping me in. "What did you just say?"
I swallowed hard. "I said quit running."
His throat worked. "The same could be said for you, Julia."
"I'm not running," I answered. Besides, I had nowhere to go, and no way to get there. The last thing I could do was run, no matter how much I wanted to. "I'm right here. For whatever you need me for Travis." He needed me. Well, he needed someone probably better than me, but currently, I was available, and I wanted to help.
His lips descended on mine, and I was lost, feeling the pent-up anger in his kiss. His lips were bruising, no tenderness in his touch. Instead of pulling away, I slid my arms around his neck and pulled him closer, wanting him to take his pain out on me. He growled against my lips, and for a moment I thought he was going to pull away, leave me panting after him once more.
But instead, his lips traveled down my neck, his tongue doing delicious things to my earlobe. I wanted meaningless, hot sex with Travis. I wanted us to both lose ourselves for a while. His hands slid up my arms and over the front of my shirt, cupping my breasts briefly before I pushed him away. A small sliver of hurt crossed his face before I slid my hands over his chest, pressing a kiss against his strong jaw. "Let me take care of you," I said softly, nipping at the sensitive skin. His hands reached up to push me away, and I trailed my lips down the side of his neck, brushing over his tattoos. He groaned, and I knew I had him, my hands quickly sliding under his t-shirt and pushing it over his head, throwing it on the floor beside us. My hands ran over his shoulders and down his strong arms, tracing the tribal tattoos that stood out against his tanned skin. "What do these mean?" I asked, my fingers tracing one line down to the veins in his forearms. It was a swirl of dark, wide lines and patterns that had to be painful when they were done.
His fingers traced one of the lines. "They have many different meanings. Strength, faith, and longevity."
"They're beautiful," I said softly, looking up at him. They were perfect on him, and I couldn't wait to trace each line with my tongue.
His eyes were hard emeralds, his expression unreadable as I reached up and touched his cheek, feeling him jump under my touch. He captured my lips with his, and I moaned deep in my throat, my hands roaming over his bare chest, feeling the rapid beating of his heart. This was going to happen between us.
Chapter Fifteen
Travis
I fucking wanted her. My body was pulsating with need, my cock begging for release. It had been too long since I had a woman. She ran her hands over my chest, and I deepened the kiss, tangling my tongue with hers until she moaned against my lips. I needed her. I needed this, and I wasn't going to deny myself again. Reaching for the edge of her shirt, I broke the kiss, pulling the shirt over her head and feasting on her beautiful breasts. "You're fucking gorgeous," I said, my hands covering her breasts, molding them. She gave me a grin, and I couldn't help but grin back, all of the pain forced back into the box deep inside my chest. I would deal with it later.
Grabbing her hand, I pulled her toward my bedroom, up the stairs, and into my arms, locking her against me. Her face was flushed with desire, her eyes shining with the heat I was feeling, and I knew I was right in what we were about to do. We were both hurting in our own way and we just both wanted to forget. Lightly, I brushed my lips over hers this time, wanting to take it slowly as my hand trailed down her back, grasping her ass and hauling her against me until she could feel the hard outline of my cock. I didn't want this to be any secret what I wanted, what I needed.
She moaned and ground her hips against me, causing me to damn near lose it in the process. Through gritted teeth I grabbed her hips, forcing her to remain still. "It's, it's been too damn long. I'd rather not lose it before we get started."
She grinned and slid her hands over my bare shoulders. "Well, then we better get started."
I growled, and we fell onto the bed, my lips tracing down her neck, tasting her skin with my tongue. My hands slid down her body, yanking at her pants and pulling them down. When my lips found her hardened nipple through her thin bra, she gasped, her hands going into my hair and holding me there. I lavished it, tugging on it with my teeth before I moved on to the other, pushing the cup aside to grab the bare skin with my lips.
"Yes," she breathed, arching against my touch. "Right there. God, that's good."
I grinned and moved down her body, my tongue swirling around her belly button before blowing on the wet skin, watching as the goosebumps popped up in its wake. She was gorgeous, and I was more than willing to bury myself between her thighs to forget.
I moved down her body until I sought out the one place I was d
ying to taste, moving aside the scrap of cotton before my tongue touched her. She trembled and tried to squirm away, but I held her in place, my tongue seeking out the hardened nub in her folds.
"Oh, God," she breathed as I tasted her, flicking my tongue over the throbbing area. "Yes, please don't stop."
I had no intentions of stopping. Applying pressure, I felt her shudder then cry out as the orgasm overtook her, the wetness flowing over my tongue. Pulling away, I grabbed a foil wrapped condom from the bedside table and shucked my pants, sliding the condom over my aching cock before covering her body with mine. She looked up, her eyes hazy with passion and reached up, touching my cheek. "I'm not her," she said softly, her eyes searching mine.
I nodded, my throat tight. I knew what she meant and couldn't help but agree. She wasn't Nicole. Nicole wasn't ever coming back. This was Julia, hot and ready, vibrant and fucking gorgeous. I knew who I had under me. I gripped her hand and pulled it over her head, holding it there as I leaned down, brushing my lips over hers. "I know."
"As long as you do," she whispered, pressing her lips against mine. I pushed into her, and she gasped against my lips as I filled her completely, my cock quivering as it collided with her warmth. For a moment, we just lay there, joined in the most intimate way possible before I drew a breath, my chest shuddering. She gripped my shoulder with her free hand, sliding it down to my hip and stopping there. "It's alright," she whispered, her eyes betraying the strength in her voice. "Travis."
I blew out a breath and moved within her, closing my eyes as I did. When she screamed, I gritted my teeth, barely holding on by a thread. She was so hot and willing around me, the tight sheath milking my cock and urging to me to let go. I pumped into her faster and faster until I couldn't take it any longer, gripping her wrist hard as I poured into her.