by Tia Lewis
I opened my mouth to retort, but she laid a finger on my lips, shaking her head. "I know what you are going to say and I agree with every single word. Kevin is solely responsible for this. Trust me; I'm not going to refute that claim whatsoever. He's an asshole. But I fell for that asshole, and despite the fact I didn't know his true colors, I knew what I was getting into. It's my fault, too."
I couldn't believe what Julia was saying. She was accepting blame for her injuries. Hadn't I been told that before about Nicole's decision to drive that car that night? I fully expected her to lay the blame at my feet, kind of like I had done with Nicole's death yet she was accepting full blame for her actions and that of her asshole ex. It was a bitter pill to swallow for me.
"Do you get me now?" she asked softly, removing her finger from my lips. "You've done more for me than I could ever repay you for. You saved me, whether you realize it or not."
Chapter Twenty-Two
Julia
I clung to Travis's hand as we entered the police station, so glad that I had his strength to keep me standing upright. After our heart to heart conversation in bed, he had received a call from Jace, asking us to meet him at the station so we could come up with a concrete plan to take Kevin down. There was still a great deal between us left unsaid, including these darn feelings that were growing steadily by the moment for Travis. I was scared to death to think that I was falling in love with another man this soon after Kevin, but he had wormed his way into my heart and planted roots there. I didn't know where this was going from here nor did I know if he had even the slightest feelings for me, but a tiny piece of me hoped so.
Travis's hand tightened around mine as we were shown back to Jace's office, a tiny cubicle amongst many other cubicles in the small space. "Hey," he said as we approached. "Let's go into the conference room. You want some coffee?"
I shook my head no, and he gave me a smile, his gaze lingering on the bruise that had exploded on my face overnight, now a multitude of lovely colors that were nowhere near the point of fading. I hated them, but they also gave me a purpose, a strength to get this over with and send Kevin and anyone else to jail.
We entered a sparse conference room, taking a seat in the tall leather rolling chairs that were around the table. Travis released my hand with a wink as we seated ourselves and I immediately felt the disconnect without his touch. Gah, I was a mess.
"So," Jace said as he seated himself across from us, a notepad before him. "We are going to do this in three days, correct?"
Three days this was all going to be over with. I couldn't believe it.
Travis nodded. "At the exhibition fight. We will have enough coverage in case something goes wrong."
Jace wrote something down, his expression pensive. "I'm going to have undercovers there as well, monitoring the entire exchange. We will try and take him down without disturbing the public, so we need to have this exchange happen outside of the crowd if at all possible."
"I want to talk to the fucker," Travis growled, tension marring his features.
Jace shook his head. "Not gonna happen. I can't have you losing it dude. You'll blow the entire investigation. Plus, you have a fight to concentrate on. Leave the policing to me." He turned toward me, a kind smile on his face. "But I am going to need your help, Julia. We need you to be wired and be the one to make the exchange."
"The fuck she is," Travis interrupted before I had a chance to speak. "Do you not see what happened to her? You want to put her in danger?"
Jace gave Travis a look, clearly not happy that he was being told what to do. "Listen, Travis, she will not be in any kind of danger. I will have so many people watching her and close to her that if this shit goes wrong, she can be pulled to safety faster than you can throw a punch. We are professionals at this."
I reached over and touched Travis's arm, feeling the muscles bunched under my hand. "I'll be fine," I said softly. "It has to be me. Kevin trusts me."
He muttered under his breath as I gave Jace a dazzling smile. "I'll do it."
Jace gave Travis a weird look before he focused on me. "Good. I need for you to call him now and set up the drop, Julia. Make your conversation as natural as possible. Don't give him any indication that anything else is going on."
"If anything happens to her, I'll fucking kill you," Travis growled, feeling his muscles clench under my touch. I was touched myself that he felt this strongly about what was going on like he cared. I hoped he cared. I needed him to care.
"Duly noted," Jace chuckled, clearly not worried about the threat. "Make the call, Julia."
I removed my hand from Travis's arm and reached for my phone inside of my coat pocket, my hands trembling slightly as looked for Kevin's number. He was joking, right? Make it natural. Ha! There was nothing natural about my relationship with Kevin now. Travis's hand slid over my thigh, and I looked up into his eyes, the tenderness showing there taking my breath away. "It'll be okay," he said softly. "He can't hurt you anymore."
A lump formed in my throat as I thought about how Travis had turned my life upside down for the better. If this didn't work out, I was afraid I would be worse off than I had been with Kevin. "Thank you."
"Don't mention it," he said, leaning back in the chair. I looked down at the phone and found Kevin's number, clearing my throat before I hit the call button. I could do this. I had to do this.
The call connected and I pressed the speaker button, wanting the rest of the room to hear the conversation.
"Hello?"
"Kevin," I said, looking down at the phone so I wouldn't have to look at Travis. "It's Julia."
"Juls," he said, his voice rising a notch. "Thank God, you called. Did you get the money?"
"I did," I answered. "Though, I should let you rot in the river for what you have done to me."
He laughed. "Come on, Juls. It wouldn't be just me rotting in that river, and you know it. This is saving your lovely ass as well."
"I hate you," I said, emotion in my voice.
"Aww, come on, Juls," he said with a sigh. "That's harsh. We were good together, you and I."
I ignored the pang in my chest at the thought of just how good we had been. Despite the fact that he had ruined my life, there had been good times between us. It still didn't mean that I had to be nice to him now. "I got your money. There's a fight in a few days, and I want you to meet me there."
He cleared his throat. "I need the money today, Julia, not a few days from now."
I looked up at Jace, who was shaking his head, pointing at his pad. The words told me to not negotiate, and I didn't plan to. "Sorry. It's going to take a few days to have it clear the bank. You don't have a choice with this, Kevin. I would suggest you get this smoothed over if you want the money or I am walking."
"Alright, alright," he answered. "I'll get an extension if you are sure you have the money. Don't jerk me around, Juls. These guys, they are not the type to be lying to."
"I'm not lying," I stated. "Three days, Kevin. I will text you the place. Just be there." I hung up then, not wanting to hear any more of his whining and set the phone on the table, blowing out a breath in the process. My heart was racing in my chest, and I felt slightly ill that now I had to worry about people coming after me because I didn't meet the deadline.
"You were good, Julia, real good," Jace said. "Way to get us an extension."
"That's easy for you to say when you don't have people trying to fucking kill you," Travis answered. "How dare you put her life on the line!"
Jace held up his hands, his eyes narrowing. "Whoa, you need to chill, dude. She's perfectly fine. I swear to you. Nothing is going to happen to her."
Travis stood up abruptly, pushing the chair back so hard that it hit the wall behind him. "That's easy for you to say. Look at her. I fucking don't want this to happen again. I don't want to be identifying her body in the morgue."
My mouth dropped open as he walked out of the room, the tension evident in his shoulders as he disappeared from my view. Was he r
eally that concerned about me being killed?
"Well," Jace said, sitting back in his chair. "I've never seen him so pissed before. I think you bring out the best in him, Julia."
I let out a short laugh, unsure of what to say or do. "If this is his best, then I should be super concerned."
Jace shook his head. "No, I don't think you understand what I mean. He's never felt this passionate about anything in quite a while. You've done something to him, triggered something inside that he desperately needed to happen. You brought him back to life."
I gave him a wan smile, turmoil in my stomach. I was a bit worried about Travis's mental state at the moment, scared that I was pushing him over the edge. "So, we are good here?"
Jace nodded, stretching his arms over his head. "Go get the boy before he does something stupid."
I pushed out of the chair and was almost to the door before Jace spoke up. "And take care of him for God's sake. He needs someone to look after him."
I pursed my lips and walked out of the police station, Jace's words tumbling around in my head as I found Travis standing not far from the door, his hands shoved in his pockets. I approached him cautiously, not because I was scared of him, but because I really didn't know what to say or do. We might be on an intimate level, but that was about it. Well, I guess we were friends as well, but still, that didn't mean I should be involved in his personal business. He was all up in mine, unfortunately. "Hey," I said, coming to stand beside him. "You alright?"
"I'm fine," he forced out, not looking at me, but at the cars as they passed. "Sorry. I didn't mean to lose my shit back there."
"Hey, it's fine," I answered. "I understand."
He turned to me, his gaze hard. "Do you really? Do you understand what you're doing?"
I put my hands on my hips. "Do you not remember that this was your idea, to begin with?" He was the one who had brought Jace into the picture.
He shoved a hand through his hair, looking a bit uncomfortable. "I didn't agree to put you in danger. I only agreed to the money, that was it."
I snorted. "What did you think was going to happen? That they were going to just leave the suitcase full of money somewhere and he would pick it up?" Had he been watching too many movies?
His arm shot out, and he hauled me against him, his lips mere inches from mine. "I didn't know that you would be in danger and that is a problem for me, Julia. A big problem."
My breath stuttered in my chest, seeing the intensity in his eyes. What was going on here? What was going on between us? He muttered something and let me go, shoving his hands back into his pockets. "Come on; it's fucking cold out here."
Chapter Twenty-Three
Travis
I dropped Julia off at the apartment and told her to stay there before leaving again, my mind in turmoil and hoping that the cold would clear my aching head. I hadn't expected Jace to put her right in the midst of the danger, or how I would feel at the thought of her doing so. The force of feelings had hit me square in the chest, breaking the hard shell around my heart unexpectedly, and throwing me for a damn loop. I wanted to protect her, I wanted her to be safe, but apparently, that wasn't all I wanted.
Grabbing a cab, I gave them the address and leaned back on the seat, feeling as confused as Julia probably did. When had this happened? When had I fallen in love with the woman? I barely knew her and clearly, she didn't need any kind of relationship right now.
But did I? Did I want a relationship? My body was screaming hell, yes, but my heart was holding back, fucking scared to get involved with someone who could end up leaving me alone again. I hated to admit that even to myself, but it was the damn truth.
The cab arrived at the destination, and I threw a few bills to him before climbing out, zipping up my hoodie that I was wearing before climbing the familiar hill alone. The cemetery was empty, no one crazy enough to visit their loved ones in this biting cold except me. Looking down at the familiar headstone, I couldn't help but think how Nicole had loved the Chicago winters. She was really a kid at heart, dragging me out more than once to build a damn snowman in the backyard of our townhouse or attempting to make that fucking horrible snow ice cream that was on the internet. Most of all, I remembered how her eyes sparkled when she was out there, how she had seemed truly happy.
"I miss you, Nicole," I said, drawing in a deep breath, the cold air filling my chest. "You will never know how much. I miss the good times, the way you smiled at me like I was the only fucking guy in the room. I failed you. I failed our kid." Blowing the breath out, I gave her a little smirk. "I know you are probably telling me what a dumbass I'm being and how I should suck it up, that it wasn't my fault."
Crouching down, I laid a hand on her headstone, running it over her name lightly and brushing off the clinging snow. "I hope heaven was all you wanted it to be. I hope that our kid is running around up there, giving you all the joy I know he or she would have brought to me, but Nic, I gotta move on." The pain in my chest intensified and I closed my eyes, hoping I wasn't making the biggest mistake of my life. "I love you, I will always love you, but there's someone else, someone that, hell, I'm not sure what I feel for her." I laid my hand over her name with a sigh. "But I think, I think you would approve. She's tough and has given me a swift kick in the ass, Nic. I think this was what I was looking for."
The wind picked up again as I stood, looking down at the headstone. "I love you, Nic and I hope you will continue to watch out for me. I'll see you again one day."
Tucking my hands back into my pockets, I turned and walked away, knowing that in my heart, I had done the right thing. I had spent years beating myself up about Nicole's death, letting life pass me by but apparently, I had been waiting on Julia this whole time. It was funny how life worked that way. I would never forget Nicole or the life we had shared, but it was time to rejoin the living, and that started with Julia.
I walked into the gym and shook off the snow from my hoodie, my face feeling like it had been drowned in an ice filled pond or something. Served me right for not dressing warmly today, yet I barely felt it. I was jacked, like a weight I had carried around my neck was gone and now all that remained was the rest of my life. That is if I survived the next few days. Walking past all the fighters on various pieces of equipment on the gym floor, I walked upstairs, where the guys tended to lounge around when the gym was open unless they were needed on the floor. I found Benji in the conference room, his hand clamped around a massive sub sandwich, the dressing dripping all over the wrapper. "Hey," he said, waving me in. "Come on in. You want a bite?"
I sat down in one of the chairs, waving off his offer. "Nah, I'm good. I came to talk to you about something. You got a sec?"
He put down his sandwich and wiped his hands on his napkin, leaning back in the chair. "Sure, always got time for you, Travis. What's up?"
I drew in a breath, resting my arms on the table's surface. "I'm in."
His eyes widened in surprise, quickly replaced by a smug grin. "I knew you would come through."
I chuckled, knowing that he didn't know the issue and never would, nor did I plan on telling him. All he needed to know was that I was back and ready to kick some ass. "I need time in the cage, a lot of time."
"Sure, whatever you need," Benji answered, sitting up. "I'll help you myself if you promise not to destroy this gorgeous face."
"You're an asshole," I said with a laugh.
Benji looked at me, his grin fading. "You're in control, right, Travis? I mean you know I would never force you into anything that you didn't want to do."
I rolled my shoulders, figuring that was going to be as close to an apology I would get from him. "Nah, I'm good. I just need some practice."
"Good," he said, the grin replaced on his face. "So tell me what else is going on. I bet this has something to do with your chick."
I shook my head and stood, not wanting to tell him any of that information either. It was already too much that Tony knew about Julia's troubles, and I didn't want to sprea
d her personal business all over the gym. "That's my business."
"Yeah, yeah don't share the juicy stuff, that's fine," he chuckled, pushing out of the chair and wrapping up his sandwich. "Come on, let's get started."
It didn't take me long to get suited up, beating Benji to the cage, so that I could have a moment to get used to the fact that I was about to step back into the cage for real this time. I was taking back my life, piece by piece, moment by moment, and I was actually pretty damn excited about it.
Sliding my hands into the gloves, I pushed them over my knuckles and flexed them into place, jumping on the balls of my feet to get my blood pumping. Normally, I had music going to help me focus and drown out the rest of the noise, but today, I didn't need it. I was strangely calm given this was one of the first times I had stepped into the cage in a few years. I wasn't counting the last one.
"You ready?" Benji asked as he came to stand beside me, his mouthpiece hanging out of his mouth.
I nodded. "Yeah, I'm ready."
Benji clamped his hand on my shoulder before moving on into the cage, jumping around to warm up. I took a deep breath and walked up the stairs, feeling the familiar shot of adrenaline as I stepped on the mat. I waited for the usual panic attack, the fear to take over, but this time, it didn't happen. I had made peace with my fear and with my loss. Grinning, I placed my mouthpiece and smashed my hands together. This was so game on.
Chapter Twenty-Four
Julia
"You know you really didn't have to do this."
Hannah gave me a smile as she pulled her car in front of a storefront, cutting off the engine before looking at me. "Come on now. When's the last time you had a girl's afternoon out? Lord knows it's been forever for me."
"It's been quite a while," I said, looking down at my freshly polished nails. When Hannah had come to the apartment this morning, I had been actually glad to see her, my heart in turmoil about what was going on between Travis and me. I wanted to get my mind off of Travis and everything else for a while, to try and sort out my feelings. I really shouldn't be having these feelings, but I was, and I was scared to death.