She avoided the gaze.
She needed to get out of here.
Though she wanted nothing more than to stay, she pulled herself from his grasp and forced herself off the bed. Her flats muffled her footsteps, but she could feel his eyes burning a hole through her skin the entire way. When she reached the couch, his voice stopped her.
“Darl.” It was a soft murmur, the usual dryness vacated.
“My family.” Her voice cracked, and she had to rush or else she’d break down in front of him. Reese didn’t trust him enough to do that just yet, and Ollo already had enough on his plate including a migraine. A crying girl was the last thing he needed to deal with. “They die at some point, in a fire during the war. And according to you, there’s no way I can stop that from happening.”
31
The next morning came too soon, and Andie couldn’t remember what was real and what was a dream. Did the Black Wing really save her? Had Bill Bernal really tried to—
Before she could finish the thought, she started gagging. She had nearly been— But she wasn’t. She hadn’t been. She was okay. Swallowing, she wiped her brow so she wouldn’t feel the tiny droplets of sweat that reminded her of what happened last night. She needed to shower. Could she? He hadn’t actually—and besides the bite on her neck, he hadn’t left any—
She stood on shaky legs and rushed to the bathroom. She had to get him off of her. She threw off her clothes and stood in the shower, turning the water as hot as it would go. Her legs were too shaky to stand, so she had to sit on the cool tile. She couldn’t tell anymore what were tears and what was water. She couldn’t hear the shower over her racking sobs, didn’t feel the water slowly start to cool. She tried to wash herself, to scrub him off of her, but tremors took over her hands so the soap kept slipping out of them. Her knees were pulled to her chest and her face was pressed against them; her arms wrapped tight around her legs to hold herself together.
She wasn’t sure how long she had been there. She was still numb. She couldn’t be sure when she had stopped crying. All she knew was that before, the water was running and she had been alone. Now the water was off and a towel had been wrapped around her frame. She looked up and found Jack in casual beige slacks and a plain white collared shirt. He was holding up a second white towel.
She blinked once. “Did I wake you?” she asked. Her voice sounded raw, broken, completely unlike her.
His eyes flashed dark and his face was tight, pained. He looked upset. She probably had woken him up. And used all the hot water. He didn’t say anything. Why wouldn’t he say anything?
She should leave. He was probably here to get her to leave. Or to say I told you so. Or maybe some weird mixture of both.
Clinging the towel to her, she tried to stand while maintaining her modesty. She managed to get on her feet, but before she could extend her legs, she lost her balance and would have fallen back on the tile if Jack hadn’t caught her by her arms and pulled her up to him. She wasn’t sure what set her off, but the minute her head hit his chest, she started crying. She nearly laughed; she didn’t think it was possible she was still able to cry.
“Shhh,” she heard him murmur in her hair, gently cupping the back of her head. “I’ve got you.”
She couldn’t even walk. Why couldn’t she fucking walk? Nothing had happened last night.
Without warning, he scooped her up bridal-style and she wrapped her arm around his neck, clinging to him for dear life. He continued to whisper things to her, but she couldn’t hear what he said. He didn’t sound angry. That was a relief.
He gently placed her in bed, but she refused to let him go. Not yet.
“I’m sorry,” she said through sobs. “I’m not like this.”
“God, Andie,” Jack said. He sounded agitated, and she tilted her head back in order to get a good look at him. “You don’t have to apologize. You don’t have to worry about waking me up.”
“I just—”
“Stop.” He pressed his index finger against her lips so she had no other choice but to listen to him. She blinked once, twice. There were no tears. Her eyes burned. Every now and then, she hiccupped. She knew she probably looked horrible, her hair matted to her face, snot dripping from her nose, eyes rimmed red. “You’re okay now. Do you understand? You’re okay. You’re safe. I promise I won’t let anything bad happen to you. Do you understand? You’re safe with me.”
Andie swallowed, her throat burning. She nodded her head because she couldn’t speak. Under normal circumstances, she would have thanked him, insisted she was fine, and ask that she be left alone so she could get on with her day. Instead, she let her head fall against his chest once more and closed her eyes as he pulled her tighter against him. His hand began to run up and down her back, the thick towel the only material covering her bare skin.
“This is all my fault,” she heard him murmur more to himself than to her.
Andie snapped her head back, her eyes looking into his. “Why would you say that?” she asked. “There’s no way you could have known what he was going to do.”
“Yes I did.” He pressed his lips together and looked away, but his firm grasp on her never wavered. “Bernal and I went to Harvard together. He never liked me because I was smarter than him while also being three years younger. He had this reputation of ignoring the word no. He was eventually thrown out because he sexually assaulted one too many women and his father was tired of making exuberant donations while his son obviously wasn’t getting the point. He ended up getting his degree at some state school, but his father was pretty pissed about it.”
“Oh.” The word was inaudible and Andie couldn’t be sure if she actually said anything. “Jack, that doesn’t make this your fault. Nothing happened. I got away. I think the Black Wing brought me here. I have no idea how he knew I was staying with you.”
“Nothing happened?” His brow furrowed and his eyes darkened. “How could you say nothing happened?” He dropped his hands from her and got off the bed. He started pacing, his hand raking through his hair. Andie suddenly felt cold and she wished he hadn’t left. “You were almost—” He cut himself off and then gestured at her neck. “He bit you, Andie. Something happened. This is not okay.”
“I never said it was,” Andie said, her voice tight.
“Don’t brush this away like it doesn’t matter,” he continued. “Don’t pretend you’re fine because you’re afraid to bother people with what you think is trivial. It’s not. You matter, okay? You matter. I know you. I know how you are. You won’t let anyone else in because you refuse to depend on anyone but yourself. Let me in. Let me take care of you.”
“I’m here, aren’t I?” she asked, furrowing her brow. “I’m here in your home. This is new for me. I don’t think you realize how far I’ve come, trusting you. What more do you want from me?”
“I—” He stopped and rubbed his lips together. His eyes went from conflicted to searching in a snap and he took a step forward. “Why did you go to him?”
Andie inhaled and looked away. The first and primary reason was because of Keirah. She wanted to look around the bank when it was empty in hopes to find some clues that would prove she hadn’t been going crazy, that Keirah had been a part of the robbery in some way, that she left a message or something that would give Andie a hint of where she was and that she was all right.
But there was a second reason that propelled her to leave. She could never admit it, of course, because that would mean admitting that she actually liked Jack, and not in a professional, platonic way either. She like-liked him and she wasn’t quite ready to deal with that yet. In fact, her stomach churned with guilt at the thought of knowing Keirah was gone somewhere, yet Andie was still able to fall for him. And she couldn’t have that. She had to find her sister, and that meant doing whatever it took, not being consumed with jealousy to the point where she ran off with strange older men to an abandoned bank.
Andie had to grow up, and she had to do it now.
“My sis
ter,” she explained, flicking her eyes up to meet Jack’s. “You’ve seen the new video footage of the bank robbery, haven’t you?” At his nod, she continued. “The girl in the miniskirt, the one the robber uses as a hostage? That’s my sister. I know that’s Keirah. And I know it sounds crazy, but I thought that … I don’t know, that maybe she left me some kind of message to tell me she’s okay, something only I would know.”
“Andie.” He said her name through a sigh and she hated how pitying it sounded. “The police went through the bank up and down, left and right. If she did leave something for you, it’s probably gone.”
“I had to try.” She hadn’t meant to snap. She didn’t want to fight, but her emotions got the best of her and she couldn’t stop the words as they left her mouth. “I thought you’d be happy about it. You got to be alone with your date. I’m sure Bernal and I were taking away from a romantic dinner.”
His eyes darkened again, but this time, as Andie looked at them, something settled around her body and gave her a nudge. For whatever reason, she was getting a sense of déjà vu and she didn’t know why.
“I don’t even remember her name,” he told her, a frustrated growl laced in his voice. “I couldn’t even tell you what color her eyes were. I could care less about who she is and what her place is in this world. Do you really think I would ever come to a trivial business meeting with some insignificant girl if there wasn’t a reason behind it? If I wanted to fuck her, I could have. The restaurant is attached to a hotel that I happen to own. Dinner wasn’t about her. It wasn’t about getting laid or being romantic. It was about keeping an eye on you.”
“I’m not five,” Andie said, scrunching her brow. So much for not fighting. “I can take care of myself.”
“Oh, obviously.” He regretted the cutting barb the instant the words were out of his mouth, but Andie didn’t care. She still felt as though he had slapped her, causing her to look away. She wasn’t certain, but she could swear he took a step toward her so his knees were brushing the side of the bed. When he murmured her name, she whipped her head around, wishing she could mask the tears that had so quickly accumulated in her eyes.
“You weren’t there,” she told him. “I got away and—” Just thinking about the previous night pushed the tears down her face but she refused to look away. She tightened her voice, willing it to come out firm, if a little shaky. “I don’t know what would have happened if the Black Wing hadn’t shown up. But I fought and I got away, and somehow, the Black Wing knew something was going on in the bank. He showed up right when I needed him. I don’t know how. I don’t understand how the one time I’m in trouble, he’s there, and yet somehow, Keirah is kidnapped by some fucking psycho twice and she still hasn’t been found. I don’t get it. I just don’t—” She stopped. “I’m grateful. I’m really and truly grateful, and yet, I can’t help but wonder why God let me be saved and not Keirah.”
“It’s not God,” Jack corrected gently. He dropped to his knees so they were practically eye level and placed both hands on either side of her body. “It’s about making choices based on the knowledge you have.” His voice was low and Andie felt her body calm down just listening to it. She could probably fall back asleep if he continued to talk like that. “Sometimes, people’s choices are outside of our control. There’s nothing we can do about that. Hey.” He reached up and tilted her chin down so she was looking into his eyes. She ignored the tingling of his touch, ignored the butterflies tumbling around in her stomach, ignored the fact that if she rose her head up only a millimeter, her lips would be on his. “What happened to your sister isn’t your fault. What happened to you last night isn’t your fault. You have to believe that.”
“But my choices were wrong,” she said, her eyes gathering more tears. “I shouldn’t have let Keirah leave. I should have told my mom. I shouldn’t have left the restaurant with Bernal. I should have listened to you.”
“We all make choices that might not be right, but that doesn’t mean they’re wrong.”
“Really?” She arched a disbelieving brow. His lips quirked up but it didn’t quite reach his eyes. “So what do I do?”
“Well, for one,” he drawled, reaching his freehand up in order to brush her bangs away from her eyes, “you should realize that you have people who care about you and want to be there for you, if you just let them in. You can’t do everything alone, Andie. You weren’t meant to. And secondly, you do things you can control, that are in your power. The tricky thing is finding what you can and can’t control.”
Andie let his words sink in for a long moment. She wasn’t sure how it was possible that he could work her up in one minute and calm her down the next. He was the only person who had this power over her, and what surprised her was that she didn’t seem to mind. Not one bit.
“You’re right,” she said. “You’re right. And I know what I can do.”
“And what’s that?”
“I’m going to press charges.” An idea popped into her head and she pushed her brow up. “Wait, did the Black Wing get him? He has been arrested, right? Or did Bernal get away while the Black Wing brought me here?”
Jack looked away and cupped the back of his neck with his palm. “Technically, yes,” he said slowly.
“Technically?”
“Well, he’s in police custody,” he explained. “But his physical form is in the hospital. I guess the Black Wing lost it. He’s alive, but he was beaten. Badly.”
32
The man known as Kane was much more intimidating in person than the papers depicted. He was incredibly tall, standing at six foot seven. He had muscles on his muscles and he could probably break Keirah’s neck with one bare hand.
It was the next day, and currently she and Noir were standing in an abandoned warehouse on the other side of the Zone. It took the couple a good twenty minutes to reach the exclusive destination, and when they stepped out of Noir’s shabby car, Keirah noted how ominous the place was. Video footage of yesterday’s bank robbery was replayed over and over on the news and the story of Noir’s mysterious savior covered the front page of every newspaper, many of them questioning her role. Some believed she was a hooker, some believed she was a new accomplice, and some speculated it might be Keirah herself. It was the first time the papers even hinted that she had been kidnapped. No one thought that it was just an ordinary citizen who wanted to prevent the loss of life, even if that meant saving Noir. Before they left this morning, she watched Commissioner Jarrett give a press conference, and when some made the suggestion that it could be Keirah, he immediately dismissed the idea as being preposterous, border-line slanderous. Keirah’s heart broke at his utter faith in her, but it broke even more knowing that if Andie saw the footage, she would know it really as her. Andie would know.
“Don’t think I’ve changed you, my love,” Noir had warned her, noticing her reaction as she watched the news. “You cannot hum … change a person to the extent of having them, well, break the law.” When Keirah responded with a pointed glare, the only reaction she received was one of his blood-curdling laughs.
It would seem Kane was wondering who Keirah was as well because his stare was nothing short of intense. His face was square, the majority of it hidden behind a simple black mask. He wore an exquisite tuxedo complete with tails and a soft pink rosebud attached to his lapel. Keirah picked up little habits he had that she didn’t think he noticed. He was subconsciously fascinated with tugging on his silver cufflinks whenever he glanced at Noir. Whenever his eyes landed on her, his lips curled into a smirk.
When Noir first told Keirah they were visiting Kane, she hadn’t believed him. She should have known better. He was very explicit about what he wanted her to wear: jeans, a T-shirt underneath an old hoodie and tennis shoes. Although he never explained his motives for his demands, Keirah liked to think he was doing it as a way of protecting her and was oddly touched by the gesture. Looking at Kane now, she was glad Noir was firm in regards to her attire. She felt as though the masked man c
ould see through the layers of clothing she wore and had to tense her muscles to keep from continually shifting her weight under his blatant stare.
“Who is this?” Kane asked in a melodious, booming voice. His eyes were now on Noir and off of Keirah.
“Oh,” he replied, his tone careless. “She’s just my sssoulmate.”
Kane took a step toward her in order to look at her more closely, but it was a step too close. Noir stepped in front of Keirah, and though his smile was still splattered across his lips, his eyes were hard and as cold as Kane’s.
“I’m just looking,” Kane said. His amused smile didn’t reach his eyes.
“Yeah, well, you’re ah looking too close,” Noir replied, his controlled voice abrupt.
Kane let out a deep, low chuckle. “What do we have here?” he asked, looking at his former partner. “I would have expected it from anyone but you. You let her crawl underneath your skin. You now have a weakness. I would think you of all people would know better.” He laughed mirthlessly. “Though I must commend you on your choice. She is quite the beaut, isn’t she? Have you broken her in yet?”
“We are trailing off topic,” Noir snarled through his yellow teeth.
“Do you know he’s never had a partner before?” Kane asked, ignoring Noir and looking at Keirah. “Except me, of course, before Onyx. Where did he find you? You look too clean to be a whore, but then again, he does know how to clean someone up.”
“I suggested you desist from speaking to her,” Noir growled, narrowing his bronzed eyes. “We came here for, uh, a specific reason, namely why are you here?”
Keirah could feel the tension radiating off of his lithe frame, and she swallowed, hoping Noir didn’t do anything stupid to risk his life once again.
“Well, I’ll tell ya, champ,” he replied, and Keirah could see Noir’s jaw pop at the endearment. The iciness of his eyes quickly refrosted. “You know why I’m here. You know why we were sent here. Time is running out. You use psychology to put fear in people when it is so much easier to corrupt them with plain old fear.”
Awaken: Book 1 of the Dark Paradise Trilogy Page 25