No, being with Jack was not in the cards. Not yet, anyway.
When she stepped out of the car, Andie forced her thoughts to remain only on Keirah. Commissioner Jarrett had been brief on the phone with her, but he was clear about Keirah being in the hospital, safe, and that Noir brought her there himself. Normally, Andie wouldn’t care about Noir’s motives because Keirah was alive and she’d be able to go home once the hospital released her, but the fact that Noir hadn’t killed her was suspicious. Why? Was this another move in his game? Was he going to come back for her? It made no sense. Why would he risk capture to save her life?
What if he loved her?
Andie laughed at the idea as she stepped into the elevator. The notion that Noir was capable of loving someone made as much sense as Jack being an angel.
No, there was no way Noir loved Keirah. There had to be something else.
She got off the elevator and was immediately bombarded with police officers who checked her ID at least five times and patted her down twice before they let her go in Keirah’s room.
Besides her mother, no one was in the room, which caused a heavy silence to hang in the open space. It was odd, looking at Judith now. Her dark hair was pulled back into a messy bun and her eyes were rimmed red from crying. Her cheekbones looked gaunt, like she hadn’t been eating properly, and she wasn’t wearing any makeup. Her outfit was composed of sweats and slippers, something she never would have been caught dead in outside the home before. She looked like a worried mother. She looked pathetic. Andie was surprised to find herself feeling sorry for her.
Judith’s dark eyes so hopeful turned to bitter disappointment upon seeing her youngest daughter and she had to look away. Andie felt her empathy turn into fury. How could her mother look at her that way?
“Where’s Keirah?” she forced herself to ask, though her voice came out strained. She refused to dwell on the fact that her mother had yet to ask how Andie had been, if she was okay, what was happening in her life.
“Emergency room,” Judith replied, her voice clipped. “Apparently she was so badly beaten, she had three cracked ribs and bruises on every inch of her body. She’s unconscious. There’s a chance she’s brain damaged. We won’t know until tomorrow.” Finally, her brown eyes found Andie’s, so cold and cutting that Andie actually flinched. “What are you doing here?”
“I’m here to see Keirah,” Andie replied, her voice just as firm.
“Haven’t you done enough?” Her mother stopped, swallowed. She seemed to be having some kind of inner conflict about something, but after her eyes sealed shut, Andie knew she had made a decision. What that was, Andie couldn’t say. “I think it’s best if you leave.”
“I may not live with you and you might not consider me your daughter anymore, but Keirah is still my sister and I deserve to see her.”
Judith looked as though she wanted to argue. Andie’s entire body tensed, prepared to fight until her throat was ragged if she had to. Her mother surprised her, however, when she said, “I plan to go home every night at 8:30 and come back in the morning at 10.”
It was a compromise.
Andie clenched her jaw to keep from saying anything but nodded once in understanding. She turned and headed for the door but thought of something and stopped. “If something happens, you’ll call me?” she asked.
“I’ll have someone keep you informed,” came her mother’s reply.
It was odd, driving back to Jack’s, her mind was numb, thoughtless, silent, when on the way to the hospital, she couldn’t sort through the overabundant ideas that streamed through. She wasn’t mad anymore. She wasn’t sad or upset or hurt. When it came to her mother, she just didn’t care anymore.
The manor was empty by the time Andie returned, which was nice since she needed to be by herself for a while. She wondered if Jack was out as the Black Wing saving people or if it was still too early. She wished the solution to her problems was as simple as being saved by him. She had saved herself so many times in life, she just wanted to be saved. She didn’t want to be alone anymore.
But life wasn’t like that, and as she crawled into bed, she reminded herself that God wouldn’t give her more than she could handle. Before she drifted off, Jack’s face broke through her quiet thoughts, a beacon of light through an uncertain void.
When she woke up, it was dark outside and Jack was sitting on a chair next to her bed. She furrowed her brow, still trying to wake herself up. As such, her mouth spoke before her brain could stop her from doing so.
“Shouldn’t you be out saving people?” she asked, her voice laced in slumber.
He chuckled softly and reached out to touch the back of his fingers to her forehead. She closed her eyes and leaned into his touch, not caring that he probably knew she cared about him. This would be the last time she saw him and she wanted to memorize everything about him: the way he looked, the way he smelled, the way he touched her, the way his eyes held her as though she was the star he wished on every night.
“Oh Andie,” he murmured.
The way he said her name.
And then he placed his lips on hers, a ghost of a kiss, like the flapping of butterfly wings against her skin.
The way he kissed her.
It was over too soon and she knew what had to be done. Her sleep had regenerated her mind, and while she knew that her entire heart would break into so many pieces it would be impossible to put back together, she also knew it was the right decision. And she hated that she knew it.
“Jack.” She opened her eyes, immediately set with branding him to her mind. “I know. I know who you are.”
He returned her stare with a level gaze and she knew he knew what she meant. She didn’t have to explain. Which was good because the more time she spent speaking, the greater chance she would cry, and to be quite frank, she was too exhausted to cry.
That didn’t mean the next words out of her mouth were any easier. In fact, they would be the hardest words she would ever have to say.
“This isn’t going to work.” She paused for a moment, letting her words sink in. “Whatever this is. It doesn’t even matter that you can’t love me, that you’re my boss, that you’re from a whole different class than I am. You’re the Black Wing. Do you realize—”
“I don’t care about all of that,” he said, his soft-spoken voice firm while his eyes were pleading. “Do you really think I can’t love you? Andie, I—”
“Don’t,” she said, her eyes already filling with tears. “Don’t make this any harder than it has to be.”
He clenched his jaw and leaned back in his chair. Andie sat up, forcing her eyes to remain in his. “I won’t let anything happen to you,” he told her. “I haven’t. You’re safe with me.”
“I’m not worried about me,” she told him, earnest. “I’m worried about you. What would happen if somebody found out that you, Jack Phillip, were the Black Wing? They would use me to get to you.”
“Andie,” he said, sighing through his nose. “No one knows. No one will know. You don’t have to leave.”
“I’m not going to be the reason that anything happens to you,” she told him. Her vision blurred but she didn’t care. “If something bad happened to you, I would … I could never forgive myself.” She tried to blink away her tears but failed. “What if you were ever in a position where you had to choose between me and the population of Onyx?”
“I would think of something.” His hands gripped the chair’s armrests so tight his knuckles turned white.
Andie slid out of bed and walked over to him. Noticing his hands, she reached out and covered them with her own, hoping to soothe him. “What I’m trying to tell you is that I never want you to make that choice,” she said, her voice gentle and shaky. “I’m going to leave tonight when you’re gone. I’ll be staying with Carey for the time being, and if it’s all right with you, I’ll keep the internship for the rest of the semester and find a new one in the spring.” She swallowed as tears fell from her face.
&nb
sp; Jack stood and pulled his hands from her so he could cup her face and tilt her chin up. The flecks of gold in his eyes burned, the most emotion in his irises she had ever seen. “I don’t want you to go.” There was a plea in his voice, something she never thought she would hear.
That was the moment her heart shattered, hearing someone so strong and confident sound so broken. She wanted to fix it, to take him in her arms and tell him it would be all right the way he had done so many times for her.
When his thumb brushed against her lips, she couldn’t stop herself from pressing them against it, a chaste kiss, her last one for him. When her words came out, they steeled her resolve. “I love you,” she said, her voice as clear as the sky. “And that’s why I have to leave.” She crawled over to the edge of the bed and kissed his cheek for a moment too long before sliding off the bed and walking to her bathroom. She refused to say goodbye, not looking back at him as he finally walked out of her room was the hardest thing she ever had to do.
38
It had been three months since Keirah first met Noir. It had been a month since she had last seen him, made love with him, and told him that she loved him. The hospital staff had been friendly if a bit distance, quite professional, though she could easily read the questions in their eyes. One of the nurses even had the audacity to ask her why he would want to save her when he didn’t care about anybody. Keirah didn’t answer, unsure about the answer as well. It did comfort her to know that he actually brought her to the hospital. When she regained consciousness, her mother told her everything, from how she was saved to her fight with Andie and how Andie wasn’t living at home anymore. Keirah got Andie’s side of the story at night when Andie would visit. There was something about her; her pale green eyes looked blue and Keirah had a feeling it had nothing to do with Judith. Andie wasn’t talking and Keirah didn’t push. She, too, had secrets she wasn’t yet willing to share.
Like the fact that she was thrilled to know Noir hadn’t been caught. Like the fact that she didn’t know what to think when he hadn’t come back for her. She couldn’t dwell on that, not when she was back home, safe and sound, and he was out there, free and chaotic like a wildfire. It was for the best that they were apart. She didn’t want him to risk his life for her anymore. She didn’t want to be the reason why he was in prison or worse.
Commissioner Jarrett had come to visit her when she was doing better. It had been about a week into her stay at the hospital, and he apologized profusely about letting her down and assured her such a thing would never happen again. When she was ready to return to her internship, he had a special place for her at the Underwood Mental Institution so her grade in her business class wouldn’t be affected negatively. He questioned her about the attack, and she answered honestly, making sure to emphasize the fact that it was Kane who was responsible for her injuries, not Noir. She told him she couldn’t remember where she was kept for her duration with Noir either. When he finished, he apologized, making guilt seep through Keirah’s bloodstream and reminding her that her room was even more guarded than before to prevent her from being taken again. Keirah liked to think that maybe while Noir wanted to come for her, he couldn’t.
It was two more weeks before she was allowed to leave. Andie brought her books and homework while her mother brought her sketchpad and pencils. It was nice to have her mother back, even if Judith was treating Andie poorly. She knew she’d have to fix this somehow; Andie couldn’t live with Carey for an indefinite amount of time. Maybe by Christmas they could be a family again.
A couple of days before Christmas, her mother and two police escorts took her back to the apartment, and after doing a thorough sweep of the premises, left. Judith wanted to cook, but Keirah wanted nothing more than to take her first real shower and sleep in her bed.
When she stepped in her room for the first time since she had been gone, she paused. It felt odd to look at the once-familiar setting. She felt foreign, completely out of her element. This didn’t feel like home anymore. Every item was in its place, untouched. It almost disappointed her. She hated to admit it, but she thought that maybe Noir would have left some sort of clue that he was still thinking of her. But there was nothing.
Sighing, Keirah decided that in lieu of a shower, she wanted nothing more than a long, hot bath. After she ran the water, she removed her clothes—disappointed the hospital wouldn’t let her keep Noir’s shirt she had been wearing when she was brought in. She glanced at herself in the mirror, glad to see there were almost no trace of the bruises, the cuts were almost gone, the swelling all but disappeared. Her ribs had healed but they were still sore, and she made a mental note to sleep on her left side tonight. Finally, her eyes rested on Noir’s scar. She traced it with her fingertip, the only tangible thing she had left of him. With that, she stepped into the tub.
Her mother was fast asleep when she finally got out. Once she was in her pajamas, she slid into bed and felt all the tension in her muscles disappear for the first time in a month.
Rain began to fall outside and she slowly felt herself began to drift off. She was nearly asleep when an arm curled around her waist and pulled her against a firm chest. Keirah felt her heart ache; this had to be a dream. Noir couldn’t possibly be holding her. As she turned, making sure to keep his arm in place, her hopeful brown eyes were met with familiar hazel orbs she would never forget.
Keirah reached up and traced his scar with her fingertip. She watched as he closed his eyes and leaned into her touch. “Are you real?” she whispered. “Are you really here?”
“I could never leave you, my love,” he told her in a whisper, the same mysterious smile she had grown to love touching his lips. “You are mine.”
It was such a simple statement, yet it filled Keirah’s heart with such happiness she couldn’t keep a brilliant smile from beaming onto her face. “And you are mine,” she returned.
Noir nodded, tilting his head down so the tip of his nose brushed hers. “I am yours,” he murmured in agreement before placing a tender kiss on her forehead. Everything was right in her world when she was in his arms, sociopath or not.
Epilogue
Lucas Burr stood in his pristine office that overlooked the Onyx skyline. It was a sleek black night. He should be home, eating a homemade dinner the cook fixed up for the family. He was craving steak right now; he always did when he was furious about something.
His crystal blue eyes scanned the front page of The Onyx Times once again before he couldn’t take it anymore and shredded the paper with his hands. Shreds of newspaper settled on his desk like soot-colored snow.
This was not working.
How was he supposed to accumulate souls for his army when they believed in something? And not just anything either, but something good?
He knew Black Wing was sent by God to guard the city of Onyx. He knew the city of Onyx was one of the easiest city’s to corrupt. Yet, with Black Wing’s presence here, his tactics weren’t working. It didn’t matter that he had not one, but two Excoms terrorizing the city. It didn’t matter that innocent people were being killed, kidnapped, raped, tortured, and a slew of other unmentionable actions. Nothing mattered. Not with Black Wing here.
He turned suddenly, to face his wall-size window. The clear night was cold, he knew, but the view with the twinkling lights was beautiful and soothing. A slow smirk crawled on his face before he started to laugh, slowly at first, until he couldn’t contain himself any longer.
How did he not see it before? Why go after the people of Onyx when there were millions of them? Why not go after the beacon of hope itself?
Why not rid Onyx of Black Wing?
Acknowledgments
First and foremost, I’d like to thank my brother, whom this book is dedicated to, for being the inspiration of this book. Without that conversation in Mom’s room many years ago, this story would never be.
Thank you to my mom, for her support and encouragement.
Thank you to my family, for always asking and supporting
and talking about what I’m writing next.
To Melanie, for your incredible edits. You make my books better, and you make my writing better. Thank you! To Desi, for your amazing cover. I have no idea how you constantly top yourself, but you do. I tell a story with words; your covers tell a story with pictures, and the images you create are always powerful. Thank you! To my fellow AG authors, you’re all amazing and I’m constantly learning from you, so THANK YOU!
To the fans – thank you for buying or downloading this book. I sincerely hope you enjoyed the story. Without you, I wouldn’t get to do what I love to do the most. So thank you, from the bottom of my heart.
Finally, to Frank and Kylee, you are my everything. You are my love story. You are the reason I write.
Catalyst: Book 2 of The Dark Paradise Trilogy
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