by Colt, Shyla
Aoife was content on the floor lying in a nest of pink blankets.
“Well, baby girl. Your old man is about to crack up, waiting on your mama to realize what I already know. Are you going to be stubborn like her?”
Aoife turned her head toward him and he smiled. People say children changed you. He’d never expected to experience that all-consuming love firsthand. There was a handful of people he counted on to set him straight when his mind was a tangled web. There was only one he trusted to keep this under wraps and hold back their judgment. Pulling out his phone, he called the man who had a knack for helping him get his head out of his ass.
“What’s up, brother?” Noah answered.
“You got some time for me today? I need an ear.”
“Might have. This sounds like serious shit.”
“It is,” Enzo said.
“You want me to come your way?” Noah asked.
“Yeah, that’d work best. I can’t really leave the house right now.”
“Fuck, brother. When you stray off the path, you don’t do it halfway, do you?”
“For once, I think I’m progressing,” he said.
“No shit?” Noah asked with a laugh.
“You can be the judge. See you here?”
“Yeah, brother, I’ll be that way in about thirty.” And with that Noah hung up.
“Well, the dice have been cast, I suppose,” Enzo muttered to himself. Doubts crept into his brain. Can I do this? I had nothing but a piss poor example of parenting growing up. The Jordans didn’t set me straight until I was damn near an adult. He had a handful of decent memories about his mother. Those moments were frozen in time, a shiny diamond buried deep in a pile of shit. He rarely let himself examine the jewel. It hurt more than all the wrong things she’d done, because it proved a human lived inside that vacant shell. Did she ever glance down on him with the love and affection he already felt for this little girl not of his flesh? He’d never known his father, and he had the sinking suspicion it was because she had no clue who he was. In her own convoluted way, she’d loved him. She had shown that on some level.
Past
He lay on his belly beneath the little dining table, watching his mother. She wore her tiny black dress. It meant one of the men would be coming. He didn’t like them. They were loud and smelled funny. They laughed a lot and he never understood why. He didn’t like the way they touched Mommy, either. In their other home, he had a room to play in when they came, but this place only had one bedroom he had to share with Mommy. So, she told him to stay out of sight and hidden.
A knock came at the door and he held his breath.
His mother clacked across the floor on shiny tall shoes and opened the door. The man came in. Big and white haired he spoke softly. Maybe this one would be nice. His mother nodded her head, took his hand, and led him back to her room.
Once the door shut, he slid from his space. His stomach was rumbly. He walked into the kitchen and opened the fridge. There was cheese on the very top shelf. He glanced toward the door. He wasn’t supposed to get things he couldn’t reach. He’d made a mess last time. His belly continued to talk. She won’t know. He climbed up and grabbed the chunk of cheese. He wobbled, his arms flailed. The cheese fell from his hands and he grabbed the bar. It gave and he fell to the ground, bringing other bottles with him. Dazed, he remained on his back breathing heavily.
“What the hell? You have a brat in here?”
He rolled onto all fours and stared up at the red-faced man.
“He’s okay. He was just trying to get something to eat.”
His mother sounded funny. His stomach rolled. He didn’t like it when Mama took her medicine. She acted weird.
The man slapped his mother’s face. “You don’t tell me what’s okay.”
Tears rolled down his face.
“He’s pretty like his mama, isn’t he?” the man said as he stalked forward.
Enzo scrambled backward.
“You ready to start helping your mother earn money?”
He shook his head, unable to speak.
“No, you don’t touch him!” his mother screamed, launching herself onto the man’s back.
“You crazy bitch!” The man spun around.
His mother continued hanging onto him while the man kept trying to dislodge her. She then sank her teeth into his shoulder. The man cried out, and flung her across the room. She slammed into the wall and slid down to the floor.
“Stupid bitch! I would’ve paid you well,” the man snapped, walking toward his mother.
Finally, the pent up terror inside of him erupted and Enzo screamed.
The man froze in mid-step and then ran for the door.
His mother crawled over to him. “Shhh, it’s okay. He’s gone now and he will never come back here again,” she said.
Enzo sobbed, pushing against her chest. He hated the way she smelled and all the friends she had over for play dates. Hiccupping, he lay against her all tapped out.
Present
At least, she’d saved him from that. Others weren’t so lucky. Children brought in the big bucks. But she’d never resorted to that.
A knock on the door told him Noah had arrived. Opening the door he let the older man in. “Hey, man, thanks for coming over,” Enzo said as he closed the door behind him.
“Any time, man. I’m glad you finally learned how to call instead of blowing up and doing something stupid,” Noah replied, shoving his hands in the pockets of his faded denim.
Enzo laughed. “Yeah, that weekend wait in jail was enough to snap me out of that. Never caught another assault case again.”
Noah nodded. “I knew it would open your eyes. That’s why I told your mom to let you sweat it out. Made the consequences more real.”
They walked into the living room.
“Holy shit, whose kid is this?” Noah questioned.
“Well, if all goes well…mine,” Enzo said.
“You finally knocked one of those tarts up?”
Enzo laughed. “Not exactly, but that’s what I’m hoping everyone will believe.” He launched into the story.
Noah listened intently, nodding and making noises to indicate he was still following along. “And your heart is set on this?” he asked when he finished.
“Yeah, man. She’s mine as far as I’m concerned.”
“Well, it takes a hell of a man to raise a child. I have no doubt you’ll be an excellent father. But, boy, you fucked up with Aibhlinn. No woman wants a half passed proposal with no ring. Doesn’t help that she thinks this is for the kid there and not because you love her.”
“What? I told her it wasn’t.”
Noah shook his head. “All this time fucking women and you haven’t learned a damn thing about how they work. It’s never what you say. It’s what you do.”
“And how do you know so much about it?” Enzo snapped.
Noah grew quiet. “I had a fiancée once upon a time.”
Enzo sat up straight, intrigued. “What happened?”
“She died in a car crash.”
“Damn, I’m sorry. I didn’t know.”
“Most don’t. Never got back on the horse after that ’cause no one I met ever came close to comparing. I think we all get one shot at real happiness and mine came and went early. You have to fix this before anything goes through with Aoife. I think you’re batshit crazy for taking on this responsibility. But it’s not for me to tell you how to live your life.”
“You think it’s plausible?” Enzo asked.
“Yeah, ain’t no secret you’re a man whore,” Noah said.
“Was.”
“See, she’s working miracles already,” Noah teased.
Enzo released a sigh of relief. Knowing he had his mentor in his corner made all this a little easier. “What should I do?”
“How do you think she’d want you to ask her to marry you?”
“Shit, I don’t know. She’s quirky, but traditional.”
“Well, I suggest y
ou start thinking fast. Time is ticking down. If you don’t get to her before she makes up her mind, you might be screwed.”
“You’re right, she’s stubborn as hell.”
Aoife whimpered.
He peered at her scrunched up face. “You need a diaper change, little girl?” he asked.
Noah laughed. “You got your hands full now, don’t you?”
“Yeah, but in the best possible way.” He scooped her up and moved to the crib with his brain working overtime. “So first thing I need is a list.”
“All right,” Noah said, removing his phone from the front pocket of his plaid jacket.
“I need a ring, a place, and a theme.”
“Okay, so what does she like?” Noah asked.
“Horror movies, Sci-fi movies, art, Ireland.”
Noah laughed. “Good luck with this one. Aibhlinn is an amazing woman, but her interests are all over the place, man, and very specific.”
“That’s what Etsy is for.”
“Wait—what?” Noah said.
“This site where people make all kinds of shit. They do a lot of graphic work and you can buy it and just print it out.”
“Do I even want to know why you know this place exists?” Noah asked.
“Man, I’m an artist. It’s a great medium for us to sell our work on.”
“Didn’t know that. I thought it was all knitted hats and shit,” Noah said.
Enzo snickered, as he baby powdered Aoife’s bottom, and wrapped her in a fresh diaper. “Is that better?” he asked.
She cooed her agreement and he re-snapped her onesie.
“Whatever you do make it good. She’s been waiting a long time.”
“Yes, she has,” he whispered as an idea took root. “Amy Pond.”
“What?” Noah asked with a puzzled look.
“The companion, Amy Pond. She was the girl who waited, and so is Aibhlinn!”
“You’re speaking another language, but I sense you’re happy, so I’m going with it,” Noah said.
Enzo laughed. “We got this, baby girl. All I need now is a ring. Are you going to help me with that?”
She blew a bubble, and he laughed again. “I’ll take that as a sign of good luck. You rolling with us, Noah?”
“Oh yeah, I wouldn’t miss this for the world,” Noah replied, wiggling the toothpick in the corner of his mouth.
“You think I’m going to crash and burn, don’t you, old man?” Enzo asked.
“No. Just think it’ll be highly amusing,” Noah stated with a grin.
Aibhlinn
“Wait, let me get this straight, he wants to get married?” Sophia asked, holding up one finger.
“Yes.”
“And for you to be the mother of this new baby?” Sophia asked, continuing to raise a finger.
“Yes.”
“And you didn’t jump on that shit and start yelling, ‘Mine’ like the seagulls in Nemo…why?”
Aibhlinn covered her face. “I feel like such an idiot when you say it that way.”
“Is it because she won’t be yours by blood?” Sophia asked.
“What? No. I couldn’t care less about that. It’s the principle of the thing.”
“You can’t steal what was abandoned, babe. If the search turns up nothing, Enzo would be like a good Samaritan.”
“It still feels wrong. It’s a big lie.”
“Okay, let’s walk through this. What’s the church’s stance on lying? And don’t say not to do it, because I know that much,” Sophia said.
“Not to tell an outright lie.”
“So omission is okay.”
“If it’s to prevent harming someone’s feeling, yes. You can, just don’t go into detail.”
“Okay, so are you going to claim you gave birth to Aoife?”
“No.”
“So how will you be lying?”
“If I don’t come forward and say we found her at Ault Park—”
“No one will be the wiser, or hurt. People’s actions come with severe consequences. Whoever left that baby is lucky you two were the ones to find her. She could’ve died, Ave.”
“I know,” she whispered, bowing her head. Sophia’s words were all truth.
“If you need more time, and you’re not ready to get hitched, say so.”
“I want it. It’s past time. I’m coming up on thirty-five.”
“Then what’s the problem?” Sophia asked.
“I’m scared. What if we go all in, and it doesn’t work? That’s it then. There was a security in the back and forth we did. Always another chance coming around the corner. This is all in.” She shook her head.
“Where’s all the doubt coming from? You don’t wait for years on one man and then blow him off when he tries to commit,” Sophia exclaimed.
“I know. It’s ridiculous, isn’t it?” Aibhlinn nodded.
Sophia frowned. “You want to tell me what this is really about?”
“It makes me nervous that he involved the Wild Ones. That can be a slippery slope, becoming involved in organized crime organizations. I wonder what they’ll ask him to do in return. No one does favors for free.”
“He’s been tattooing them for years, though. They probably think of it as a favor for a friend,” Sophia said.
“Maybe. But I know once you get in, there’s no coming back out. My mother fell in love with the wrong man, and it changed the course of her life. The way we had to keep our move under wraps and all but leave in the dead of night was a terrifying experience I’ll never forget.”
“But you’re okay now, aren’t you? I mean, I know you’ve gone back since.”
“I suppose we are. They’ve never said anything more to either of us, but what could we have that they’d want? My mom is a teacher who kept her nose clean. We were lucky. The Army is nae something you walk away from easily.”
Sophia shuddered. “That’s terrifying.”
“You don’t know the half of it, love. The things I saw growing up and thought of as normal sickens me now. The guns, the secrecy, and the killing. I thought it was all justified, and if my da said it was all right and just… Then by God, it must be. Coming to the realization that my childhood was a lie crushed me. I went dark and had to reexamine everything. I almost lost my faith and sense of self. It’s a place I never want to return to.”
“So tell Enzo that.”
“How can I? He’s already in bed with the devil. There’s no way he’ll undo the deal.”
“And you think it’s a…what? Gateway to more? Think of how long he’s been dealing with them. I’m sure it’ll be fine,” Sophia said.
“Hmmm.”
“You know it’s odd to me, you’ve never so much as mentioned this part of your past, and now it’s all you can think about.”
“Having Keir around brings it all back. He grew up in the same neighborhood, and though he’s never said, I’m sure his father is, at least, a sympathetic friend of the IRA.”
“Can you explain what the IRA is exactly?”
“It’s the Irish Republican Army. You know my country has been torn to hell and back for a long time over many things, one of the main issues being Protestant versus Catholic, and the fact that some of us want Ireland to be an independent, united country. Well, this paramilitary group aims to change things. They’ve got their fingers in a number of pots, from drugs to organized crime. It costs money to fund guns, cars, and everything else they need. They’ve been getting smaller gangs to join with them under one banner, which means they’re increasing in power. It’s a scary thing.”
“Wow, and your father was involved in that?”
“Born and raised. I don’t think he ever knew any other way really.”
“Shit, Aibhlinn.”
“I know,” she replied, thinking of her father with his dark brown hair, bright blue eyes, and easy smile. He had a big personality. “I think what bothers me the most was how damn jovial my da was. There was so much laughter and joy in our home. He had a huge per
sonality, but it was tempered by his ability to be gentle and really listen. I adored him. I mean, you haven’t seen a daddy’s girl until you saw me with my da. So, I don’t know how that man could hurt so many others and teach me so wrong. I mean, I hated the Protestants and thought the British Royal Army were the bastards who were tearing Ireland apart. Turns out we were the ones doing that with our terrorist activities.”
“Did you ever—”
“Don’t ask me that, Soph. I don’t think either of us will like the answer,” Aibhlinn admitted, ashamed that she’d played a part in the misery and pain of others.
“How many times have you said our past isn’t all we are?” Sophia asked.
“Funny how things are a lot easier to say than they are to believe.”
“Isn’t that always the way?”
Aibhlinn sighed. “What do you think I should do?”
“I can’t decide for you, but I think we both know you and Enzo are meant to be. If the thing with the MC is holding you back, talk to him. Tell him the concerns you voiced to me. You’ve never been one to bite your tongue, especially not to Enz.”
“You haven’t seen him with Aoife. He’s smitten.” She sighed. “I don’t want to pop his bubble, or seem like the enemy.”
“You don’t. If that man knows anything, it’s that you always have his best interest at heart. Now, let’s talk about the elephant in the room… Keir.”
“What about him?” Aibhlinn asked.
“Are you going to tell me you don’t feel anything for him?”
“It’s never gotten that far—”
“Are you lying to yourself, or me?” Sophia asked.
Aibhlinn sighed. “What I feel for him is nothing in comparison to the way I feel about Enzo.”
“Don’t you think you owe it to both of you to make sure? Go see him again. If what you say is true, let him know you’re off the market.” Sophia’s narrowed eyes said everything.
Aibhlinn nodded. He was the physical embodiment of her past. His presence provided comfort and gave her a chance to reminisce. But it’s not something I have to have. “He’s working the shift at the gallery right now. I’ll head over that way.” She stood from the bed.