“It was the right thing,” Gwen pointed out.
Ally nodded. “But sometimes the right thing is scary and difficult to do. You still did it.”
“Although you didn’t do it on behalf of shifters everywhere, I wanted to say thank you.” Jaime lifted her mug to Gwen, as if in salute.
Uncomfortable with the praise, Gwen just nodded. Noticing Harley and Andie slowly heading down the boardwalk, she said, “They seem to be getting along well.”
Ally nodded. “Harley spent the first half of her life in a pride, but she spent the second half in the human world—she lived with her aunt, who took care of her. She can relate to how Andie must feel, having lived among humans for a long time. Has Andie decided what she’ll do next?”
Gwen shrugged. “I don’t know. I hope to find out later.”
From where he stood on the porch with Jesse, Zander watched Gwen interact with the other females. She seemed relaxed around them. He liked that. He wanted her to feel comfortable with them so that it would make the transition to his pack easier. He also wanted her to feel that she had friends when she moved there.
“When do you think the Moores will attack?” asked Jesse.
“It’s possible that they won’t. They hired goshawks to hurt Gwen not long ago.” The memory made Zander’s wolf snarl. The beast was brooding because he’d been denied the chance to attack and kill Ezra. “They might do the same thing again.”
Jesse nodded. “Makes sense, since it’s unlikely that they’ll want to face you and a bunch of shifters. They have to know that you could beat their asses all on your own. If they do come here to take care of this themselves, they’ll come armed.”
“Probably. But it won’t help them. They’ll die either way.” Zander wouldn’t allow any threat to his mate to live. Speaking of threats . . . “I know you want to deal with Rory yourself. I get why. But if he comes here, he’s mine. Not just because he deserves a ration of shit for all the things he’s done over the years, but because he hurt my mate. He made her bleed. He would have taken her if Ally hadn’t had a vision that warned us. I can’t let that go.”
Jesse gave a nod of acceptance. “Understood. Just make sure you hurt him. Badly.”
That wouldn’t be a problem. “Back to the subject of the Moores . . . I don’t think there’ll be an attack tonight. They’ll know we’re on our guard. But I don’t think the Moores will be prepared to wait long—they’re too hungry for revenge on Gwen.”
“I didn’t think I’d like her,” Jesse announced. “Knowing what she’s done for the cougar, I respect her. But you’re one of my best friends. More like a brother. I knew I’d have trouble accepting your mate, whoever she was, because I’d need to be sure that she was good for you. We both know from watching our parents that not all mated pairs live a dreamy life.”
Yeah, Jesse’s parents had some serious issues. His mother dominated his father’s behavior, but she didn’t wish to do so, didn’t like that he’d folded under her strength by his own choice. She wanted a partner, an equal, and her mate was no longer that for her.
Jesse sighed. “You and me . . . we’re not easy people, and we’re never going to be easy partners. Harley gets me and lets me be until I push too hard. I wanted to be sure that your mate was someone who got you and accepted you. From what I can see and from what Ally’s told me, it’s pretty clear that Gwen does.”
“It’s a good thing that you didn’t run her through a gauntlet,” said Zander. It was the kind of thing his pack mate would do. “I would have had to kill you for that.”
Jesse’s mouth curved. “She’s got you all tied up in knots, hasn’t she?”
“That’s the way it should be, though.”
“Yeah, it is.” Jesse’s frown returned as he looked back at the females. “They all look deep in conversation over there, don’t they? I think they’re talking about us. Typical. Just typical.”
“The Matrix could so be real,” insisted Harley.
Ally’s nose wrinkled. “Some of your theories do have substance, but I’m not convinced.”
“I think it’s possible.” Gwen paused to drink the last bit of her coffee. “Although, I once read an article somewhere that said if the world really was a simulation, it’s doubtful that we’d be plugged into some kind of system. We’d most likely be more like virtual entities that were made at the same time as the simulation.”
Jaime’s brows lifted. “I never thought of it like that. Interesting.”
“If The Matrix is real, let’s hope the programmers don’t press the ‘Off’ switch,” said Andie dryly.
Jaime’s brow pinched at something over Gwen’s shoulder. “Who’s that?”
Turning, Gwen smiled. “Oh, that’s Donnie. My uncle.” Gwen crossed to where he stood, eyeing the newcomers. “The hearing went well. The council remanded Brandt, Mack, and Rowan.”
“Good,” said Donnie. “I’m guessing the Moores didn’t take it well.”
“No, they didn’t.” She sighed. “And they didn’t look as though they had any intention of letting this go.”
“We always knew they’d retaliate. We’re ready for them and that other wolf, Rory. He hasn’t been back.”
“How do you know?” asked Jaime from behind Gwen—her voice almost made Gwen jolt in surprise. Jaime moved as silently as Zander.
“I know,” replied Donnie. He glanced around. “Who are these people?”
“More wolves,” said Gwen. “This is Jaime. The guy standing with Derren and Bracken is her mate, Dante. The female coming toward us with Andie and Ally is Harley, and her mate is over there with Zander; they’re his pack mates. Jaime and Dante are the Betas of the Phoenix Pack.”
“Huh.” Donnie’s tongue poked the inside of his cheek.
“Seen any more of that wolf you shot?” Ally asked him.
“Already asked him that,” Jaime told her. “He said no.”
“If he’s got any sense,” began Donnie, “he won’t come back.”
“He doesn’t have any sense,” said Gwen.
Donnie sighed. “That’s what I thought. Make sure you warn the new people to be careful if they go patrolling the area.”
“Why?” asked Jaime.
He frowned, as if not understanding the question. “Because I got the place rigged. Why else?” With that, he walked off.
“He’s . . . interesting,” said Jaime.
Gwen smiled. “Ain’t he, though?”
A little while later, the she-wolves and Harley went to chat with their mates, leaving Gwen and Andie alone.
Andie gently took her arm. “Gwen, I honestly can’t thank you enough for everything you did and for all the support that you’ve given me and all the risks you’ve taken. I’m not much good at talks like this, but I wanted to say that you’re the shit—just so you know.”
Gwen’s lips curled. “You don’t have to thank me for anything I did. You helped yourself. And not just by turning up at the hearing today. You took a chance on the shelter, you got yourself together, and you found the strength to get justice for yourself. I’m proud of you. Speaking of the shelter . . . are you going back there?”
Andie bit her lip. “For a little while, yeah. Heath and I are thinking of getting an apartment together. I know it’s fast. I know that. But . . . it just feels right. I’m not saying I think he’s my true mate. I’m not totally sure about that yet, but I think it’s possible. Either way, I want to be with him.”
Gwen briefly glanced at Zander, who was currently talking with Bracken and Marlon. “Zander wants me to leave with him and move to his pack.”
Andie snorted. “Well, of course he does. He’s hardly going to want to leave his mate behind. In fact, he’d be more likely to stay with you than leave. Mates come first. I’m guessing it took a little while for you to realize you were true mates. Still, I’m surprised he hasn’t claimed you yet. Are you reluctant to form the bond or something?”
Gwen didn’t realize she’d been holding her breath until that
moment. Clearing her throat, she asked carefully, “What makes you think he’s my mate?”
Andie gave her a look that questioned her IQ level. “He looks at you with eyes that scream mate. He hardly ever leaves your side, he’s constantly touching you, and his face softens when he sees you.” She tilted her head. “He didn’t tell you? Shit, I thought you knew or I wouldn’t have said anything.”
“Why would he keep it from me?” The words came out soft, quiet.
“You may have noticed that dominant male wolves are protective. They’re hyperprotective of their mates. If he’s kept it from you, it’s most likely because he thinks it’s not good for you to know yet. To be fair, a lot of stuff has been going on around you. Maybe he didn’t want to add to that.” Andie shrugged. “I don’t know him well enough to make a good guess.”
“He should have told me.” All this time Gwen had been waiting for imprinting to begin, had panicked that the bond wouldn’t form . . . and he’d secretly believed that there already was a bond. Or, at least, that the potential of it was there.
“Whatever the case, hold tight to him, Gwen. So many shifters would love to have what you’ve found in Zander. A mate is a special thing. Don’t turn your back on it—especially just because you’re a little annoyed with him for not mentioning it.”
Honestly, Gwen wasn’t sure what she was going to do. A lot of it would depend on his reasons for keeping it from her, and on just how sure he was that they were true mates. It was possible that he hadn’t told her because he wasn’t certain—that she’d understand.
As her head was figuratively up her ass, the day seemed to pass in a blur. She’d made an effort not to seem upset, knowing Zander would pull her aside and demand an explanation—that was a conversation they’d need to have in private at a time when they were unlikely to be interrupted.
Needing some time to herself, she was glad when he went on patrol that evening with the other shifters. She took a long bath and leisurely dried her hair before pulling on a peach silk camisole and matching boy shorts.
Sadly, the time alone didn’t relax her. She found herself pacing up and down in her room, fists clenching and unclenching. When her door opened, she halted and turned to face Zander as he stalked inside and locked it behind him. His eyes raked over her and heated. Her body automatically reacted—knowing that look and knowing what it meant.
Every step fluid and silent, Zander crossed the room to her. He didn’t try to pull her to him as he usually did. His hand gently smoothed her bangs aside, and he studied every inch of her face, searching. “You’ve been quiet. At first, I assumed you were worrying about the Moores. But looking at you now, it’s clear you’re pissed about something. Tell me. I’ll fix it.”
Her phone rang. If she hadn’t been so tense, she might have jumped. Grabbing it from the bed, she frowned when she saw it was Kenny. Hesitantly, she answered. “Hello?”
“I heard you changed your mind about doing me that favor, Gwen . . . or did you never intend to do it?” Strangely, Kenny didn’t sound upset or angry. He sounded relatively amused. But then, it wasn’t as if the situation affected him personally.
“I never intended to do it.” Yeah, she was hoping to piss him off. It didn’t work.
He chuckled. “That devious streak is another thing you got from me.”
“I wasn’t being devious. I was being smart. You wanted me to do the smart thing, right?”
“I did,” he said, a smile in his voice. “But it wasn’t entirely smart. Not when it means you’ll now have the Moore family on your ass.” He sighed. “I’ll give them a call. Warn them to stay away from you. But I can’t guarantee they will. Unlike you, Ezra Moore doesn’t appear to be smart at all.”
“I can handle him.”
“I’ll bet you can, since you have the protection of shifters. Do you think that’s wise? They’re not known for being loyal to anyone outside whatever group they live in.”
“They’ve protected me so far.”
“Yes, it would seem they have,” he mused. “Just be careful. I’d rather not have to wipe out an entire pack of wolves, but I won’t hesitate to do so if they harm you.” He ended the call before she could respond to that.
With a curse, Gwen tossed the phone on the bed. “I’m guessing you heard that conversation clearly enough.”
“Maybe his warning will be enough to make Ezra back off for a while.”
She snorted. “Even if Ezra was willing, Moira and Brandt wouldn’t be. The moment Brandt’s released by the council, he’ll be demanding that someone make me pay. And if they don’t do something, he will. In other words, something will happen.”
Zander sighed. “Sadly, I can’t disagree with you. Was this what was bothering you? Were you anticipating a call from Kenny?”
No.” Gwen literally blurted out the question. “Why didn’t you tell me you think I’m your true mate?”
He stiffened. “Who told you that?”
“According to Andie, it’s pretty obvious.” And if it was obvious to the cougar, Gwen had to wonder if it was just as obvious to the other shifters. If that were true, it would be both embarrassing and hurtful to think they’d all possessed that knowledge and she’d been oblivious.
“Before we talk about this, you have to promise me something.” His gaze pinned hers. “Promise me that you won’t walk out of this room, that you’ll stay here until we’ve talked it all out.” Zander still wasn’t certain that she was ready to hear this yet. Nonetheless, part of him was glad that they could lay it all out finally. He was pissed that she’d heard it from someone else, though. Still, it was his own fault.
“Just tell me,” she clipped.
“Promise me.”
She unlocked her back teeth. “Fine. I promise. Now, why didn’t you want to tell me?”
“I did want to tell you. You have no idea how much. No idea how hard it was to keep it from you. But you’ve got enough going on—I didn’t want to pile something else on you. I had no idea which way this would go, whether you’d be pleased or freaked. I wasn’t sure you were secure enough in our relationship to handle it. I won’t take it well if you reject the bond, Gwen, and I didn’t want tension between us at a time when you needed me here for you.”
Gwen inwardly cursed. She was hurt that he’d kept it from her, wanted to be mad at him, but that response was impossible to be mad at. “How long have you believed we’re mates?”
“Since the night that Rory attacked you.” His wolf growled as he recalled what happened. “Do you remember I told you that my wolf was guarded around you at first?”
She nodded.
“You know he’s not anymore. What you don’t know is why he acted that way in the first place. It was Ally who worked it out. My wolf is . . . damaged, I guess you could say. The people who were important to him let him down. I can relate to that, and I think you can too.”
She inclined her head.
“So, it stands to reason that he’d be wary of anything or anyone that had the potential to wound him that badly again. I didn’t think of that. But once I did, once I put it all together, everything became perfectly clear. Like a veil had been lifted.”
“You really think I’m your mate?” she asked. He shook his head, and her stomach dropped.
“I know you are.” He rested his hands on her shoulders. “Think about how fascinated you’ve always been by shifters. Hell, you were even obsessed with wolves.”
“I wouldn’t say obsessed.”
“Some part of you knew where you belonged. It all adds up. And if that isn’t convincing enough for you, ask yourself this: How would it feel if I walked away from you? I know how it would feel, Gwen, because it would be the same for me if you sent me away. That’s not a normal kind of hurt, is it?”
Considering her chest felt like it was on fire at just the idea, no it wasn’t normal. “I know you said that it’s not so easy to sense the bond. I know that. But we let our guard down with each other. Hell, I even committed to jo
ining your pack, yet we haven’t sensed anything.”
“It’s not just about mental walls, Gwen. So many things can block the frequency.”
“Like fears and secrets,” she remembered. “You know I fear happiness like a weirdo, and you know about Geena and that I’m an informant for The Movement. I don’t have any other secrets.”
“Sometimes a couple will feel the bond without baring that much of themselves—it can depend on a lot of things. But one thing is absolutely guaranteed to block the frequency.”
“What’s that?”
“The unwillingness to believe that it might be there.” He slid his hands from her shoulders to her neck. “You have to let yourself wonder if it is, Gwen. And I know how hard that’s going to be for you, because it will mean letting yourself hope. And you fear hope almost as much as you fear happiness, because the two are very much linked.”
He was right. It might have been kind of backward to fear hope, but Gwen did. Feared hoping and reaching for something, only to be disappointed. She’d spent a good portion of her childhood hoping. Hoping that Hanna would love her, hoping that her stepfather would stop hurting Hanna, hoping she’d never be forced to lie to protect him from the police ever again. Hoping had done her a fat lot of good. She’d thought that just maybe fate or luck had intervened and led her to the Millers. But it turned out that Kenny had intervened.
“Until you can let yourself wonder if it could be true, we won’t feel that bond.” His wolf wanted Zander to bite her, claim her, so she couldn’t get away. But, though it killed him, Zander said, “Take some time to think about it all. Think about what I told you. What you feel. What you need.”
“Wouldn’t it be hard for you to give me time? I mean, if you think I’m your mate, isn’t it hard for you not to claim me?”
Lure of Oblivion (Mercury Pack Book 3) Page 28