“Watch, I’ll show you.” She bent over to a plant and found a couple of berries growing near each other. “See these? This one here’s still got a bit of white on the tip. Best to leave it another day or two. But this other one over here, see it’s nice and red all over. It’s ready. So, just hold it kind a gentle.” She cupped it in her palm and pressed down on the stem with her thumbnail. “Then give it a quick twist till it breaks.” She straightened and smiled at me. “Want to give it a try?”
“Sure.” I bent over and found one I thought was acceptable. “This one?”
“That’s perfect. Go ahead.”
I gripped it in my palm just like she had, pressed down with my thumbnail, what little there was of one, and gave it the same little twist she had. Nothing happened. I tried again, but still, the stem wouldn’t break.
“Dig that nail in a little harder,” Ellen said.
I did, and finally the stem gave a little pop. I dropped the berry into my basket and smiled at Ellen. “Thanks. I’m sure I can handle this.”
“You’ll do fine. Couple a tips though. Try to get a few in your hand before putting them in the basket. Saves time, but it also makes it easier to smush them. Whatever you do, don’t smush the berries. Chester’ll get madder than a bull. Calhouns don’t tolerate losing one penny.”
“So I should be careful. Anything else?”
“Don’t go too slow neither. They’ll give you some leeway at first, but get a good rhythm going and get done quick. They like to have the berries picked well before lunch so they can sell them off the truck near town.”
“All right. Careful, but not too slow. Got it.”
She smiled at me again. “I’m glad you’re here, Ruby. It’ll be nice to have a friend to talk to.”
I glanced around at the other workers picking strawberries. That was when I noticed the field next to the one where we were working. It was only about forty acres of cotton, but it was fenced off from the rest of the fields. On the side furthest from us, I could make out a group of about five workers hoeing on different rows, and when I looked closer, I could see the black skin of their forearms. I had to have been staring at them awful hard, cause Ellen nudged my side a minute later.
“Better get started,” she said.
“What about them?” I asked.
She didn’t look up from her picking. “Who?”
“Over there in that other field. The one that’s fenced in.”
“Oh, you mean the Negroes. Don’t mind them. They stay in their fields and we stay in ours.”
“How come?”
She stood and put her hands on her hips. “You gonna pick or talk all day?”
I got busy trying to pull the strawberries off like she’d showed me. I still only managed to get two in a hand before I had to put them in my basket, but I did manage to get them off without smushing them. After a few minutes, I guess once I proved I could work, Ellen started talking again.
“Look, I don’t always know the ins and outs a things, but one thing’s for certain around here. The Negroes stay in their fields, and we stay in ours. You don’t even let Chester catch you looking at them, cause he’ll bless you out.”
“I was just curious about them, that’s all.”
She straightened and glanced around. Then she pointed west past the cotton field. “See, all this property runs along that road yonder. It goes into the Colony. I guess they just come and work and go home for all I’ve seen of them.”
“Are they, you know, nice or anything?”
She frowned at me like I’d said the dumbest thing possible. “They’re Negroes. How would I know? So long as they stay where they belong, I don’t care one way or ’nother.”
She went back to picking, finishing up her row and jumping over mine to the next one. She went in the opposite direction, and within a few minutes, she was too far away to talk. I finished up my row, stood and stretched out the ache in my back, and couldn’t help but take one more look at the colored men in the next field. They were bent over their hoes, moving through the cotton stalks faster than anyone I’d ever seen with my own eyes. They never looked up, and as far as I could tell, they never said much. But I could’ve sworn I heard a distinct musical sound coming from amongst them. I didn’t want to get in trouble, so I hopped over another couple of rows and tried to catch Ellen.
The next day James sent Henry and me into town to get some furniture and food on Calhoun’s account. Henry was suspicious, said he didn’t think it was wise to accept credit when you didn’t know what was attached to it, but I didn’t care where it came from so long as I was going to have a table where I could eat and a lamp so I could read at night. Henry got over his reservations as soon as he realized Calhoun was throwing in a truck he could drive into Cullman. He even promised me an ice cream cone.
The ride into Cullman was exhilarating. We put the windows down and let all our troubles slip out with the warm breeze. With no one to tell us what to do, Henry sped along the road, swerving around curves so fast my breath would catch. Then we’d laugh till my stomach ached. It felt so good to laugh.
But then Henry parked in front of one of Mr. Doyle’s stores.
My stomach knotted up just thinking about facing any member of the Doyle family, even Mary. How would I explain anything? Henry climbed out of the truck, walked around to the front, and then turned and looked at me kind of funny.
“You coming, Rubes?”
I let out the breath I’d been holding and pushed my door open. “Course I’m coming.”
I flattened out as many wrinkles from my dress as I could manage and ran my fingers through my hair. Had I figured out where exactly we were heading, I wouldn’t have so eagerly allowed my hair to whip around in the breeze. I was sure I looked perfectly frightening.
Henry raised an eyebrow and grinned. “What you fussin’ with yourself for?”
“Nothing.”
We headed for the front door, and he pulled it open to let me pass. “Don’t worry, little Rubes. He ain’t here.”
“Isn’t,” I hissed at him. “And I don’t know what you mean.”
Henry let the door close behind us and shook his head. I hated that knowing gleam in his eyes. “Excuse me, oh Queen of English, he isn’t here. Matthew hates anything to do with his daddy’s stores. Stays as far away as he can.”
I followed Henry around the display of sitting room furniture and through a small bedroom I imagined would be perfect for a girl who loved to read, who also had two annoying brothers that would complain about letting the lamp burn long into the night. I imagined myself in a small house of my own, with that bedroom and a small desk off to the side where I could write down my thoughts and dreams. Maybe someday, I thought.
We made our way toward the back of the store and I asked Henry exactly what we were supposed to be looking for.
“A table and some chairs. And a mattress for Mother.”
“What about us?” I didn’t really mind the porch so much, but it would be nice to know James thought enough of us to want us to have a bed too.
“Don’t think we got enough money for all of us to have beds. Just Mother for now. And a table so we can eat together.”
He walked over to a table and sized it up. I didn’t think much of it. Seemed like it sagged toward the middle, and it only had two chairs.
“Well that won’t do,” I said. “We have to have four chairs.”
“Five, actually.”
I’d forgotten about Emma Rae, and thinking about her made this whole thing finally come together in my mind. She must have gotten her daddy to help us out. I started to share my insight with Henry when I heard a familiar voice behind me.
“Ya’ll need some help, Henry?”
I didn’t have to turn around to know who it was. The hairs on the back of my neck told me it was Matthew, and the tingle that shot down my arms and into my fingers agreed. I couldn’t hide the look of fear that must have crossed my face. Henry outright chuckled at me, and I though
t about popping him upside his head.
“Naw,” Henry said. “Just looking for some furniture for Mother. We need a table and some chairs and a mattress.”
I chewed on my nail and debated on turning around. Seemed rude to ignore him, but I knew as soon as I turned around my face would tell him all the secrets inside me. So I moved around the table like I was studying it.
“You think she’d like this one?” Matthew asked.
Henry shrugged. “It’s fine. We need three more chairs though.”
“I think we got some in the back. You want to take a look?”
“Sure.” Henry moved toward Matthew, and the two of them stopped.
I could feel both of their gazes resting on me, and I knew I couldn’t avoid looking at Matthew any longer. So I took a quick glance and held his gaze long enough for a polite smile.
“You coming?” Henry asked.
I didn’t think I could bear it. “I’ll stay in here and look for a mattress.”
The boys headed out the back, taking my nerves along with them. I took a deep breath and noticed a mirror on the wall across from me. I took a look at myself, and it was just as I suspected. I ran my hand through my hair, watching the dust fall away from the straw-like strands that used to be soft waves. I wished I had washed it and pulled it up before coming to town. Proper young girls probably did that all the time. My nose and cheeks were pink from my hours in the strawberry field the day before. And my nails—there wasn’t much hope for them before, but now they looked as dirty as a boy’s.
“Would you like some ice cream?”
I turned around to find Matthew watching me, but I couldn’t look at his face long enough to guess what he was thinking. My stomach roared back to life.
“Where’s Henry?” I asked.
“Ah, he’s heading toward Kleinman’s with Catherine Mills.”
“What?” I stomped over to the windows and saw the backs of Henry and Catherine walking across the street. “He’s supposed to be getting the things we need, not carrying on with one of his worshipers!”
Matthew chuckled and walked to the window. “He said ya’ll were getting the table with the extra chairs, and you’d pick out a mattress.”
I didn’t know what to say to that. How could Henry just abandon me? Though, when I thought about it with a clear mind, I knew it was exactly something he’d do. It’d be a wonder if he remembered me when it was time to go home.
I picked out an inexpensive mattress, avoiding the cheapest one out of embarrassment. Then he pulled out a writing pad to figure the cost of everything.
“That comes to thirty-two fifty-eight,” he said, looking at me like he expected me to pay it.
“Didn’t Henry tell you? This is on Mr. Calhoun’s account. He said he’d pay it.”
I watched Matthew’s face fade from confusion to pity. It reignited all the anger I’d been trying to snuff out.
“Ruby, I’m so sorry.”
“Sorry for what?”
His shoulders slumped, and I thought for a second he was about to reach out to me. “I was hoping it wasn’t true. You’re the last person who should lose their daddy and their home so close together like that. Is there anything I can do?”
“We’re just fine.” I puffed my chest out a little to prove how fine I was. “We have to start over, but all of us are working hard and sticking together.”
“That’s good. That’s real good.” He shifted his weight a couple of times and glanced around the store.
“Well, I should go on and find Henry,” I said.
“Wait, let me get George from the back to load up your things.” He jumped into motion, running to the back of the store. Less than a minute went by before the two of them were moving the table and chairs out to the truck. I watched Matthew carrying the chairs out, his muscles flexing as he lifted them. Something warm stirred inside me, but my shame pushed it down.
I followed them to the truck, and they tossed the mattress into the back. George headed back inside. I started to thank Matthew and say goodbye, but he started to speak at the same time, and we both stopped.
“You go ahead,” he said.
“I was only going to say thank you, and goodbye.”
“What about that ice cream? It’s a hot day, and I could use some cooling off.”
“I don’t think so.”
“You got to walk down to Kleinman’s to get Henry anyway. Let me walk you.”
It was the strangest thing I’d ever felt, wanting to get away from someone so bad and wanting to be with them just as bad. I didn’t know what to do. I closed my eyes and let out a long breath, and then went with my heart, despite what my head was saying.
“All right then.”
It was only a few blocks to Kleinman’s, but I couldn’t think of much to say outside of formalities, so it seemed like the walk was taking forever. I thought about how ironic it was that I’d once dreamed of Matthew walking me somewhere, and now that he actually was, I hated it. I felt like every inch of me was exposed, including my racing heart. Matthew shuffled along beside me with his hands in his pockets and his gaze to the ground. I wondered if maybe he was regretting asking me. Maybe he was embarrassed to be seen with me now that my family was sharecroppers.
“You been working for your daddy long?” I asked.
“Nah,” he said, glancing over at me. “Just started this week. Trying to get a little money together so I can start to school in the fall.”
“Where are you going?”
“Tuscaloosa, to the University.”
“That’s wonderful. Are you going to try to play ball?”
“I don’t know yet. I sure hope so, but it depends on the doctors.” He shook his head and laughed. “Them doctors are all in a fuss over my lungs.”
“What do you mean?”
“They said they ain’t never seen x-rays like mine. Said I recovered too quickly, and my lungs should be weakened. But they’re as good as they ever were.”
“That’s amazing, isn’t it?”
He stopped and looked down at me with a frown. “It’s cause of you I didn’t give up and just die. You helped me believe this was possible. I can’t ever thank you enough for that.”
My cheeks flushed warm, and I had to look away from him. “Well, you weren’t the easiest patient in the world, but I was glad to do it.”
I suddenly wished he’d take my hand, but I had to push that thought right on out of my mind. That kind of thinking was crazy. We came to the intersection a block before the drugstore, and when I crossed the street, I noticed a long line of people standing near the side door of the church we were passing.
“Isn’t this the church your family goes to?” I said.
“Yeah, they started a soup kitchen a couple of weeks ago. I reckon that’s what the line’s all about.”
I stopped once I reached the sidewalk and looked back at the people waiting in line, most of the men looking like they’d been dunked in the creek and hung out to dry several times in the same suit over and over. I guess lots of folks were wondering where God had gone to.
“I think Mary and Mother are volunteering today,” Matthew said. “You want to go say hello?”
“I don’t know,” I said. “I’m sure they’re busy.”
“Nonsense. They’d tan my hide if they knew I saw you and didn’t bring you by.”
I followed him around the back of the church through a door that led down a long hallway and into a kitchen. Inside, several women were fussing over a stove, and Mrs. Doyle pulled a sheet of fresh loaves of bread out of the oven. Matthew walked up behind her as she set the sheet on the counter and pinched her sides. She squealed and turned around.
“Matthew!” She didn’t even pretend to scold him, smiling instead and giving him a hug. “What are you doing here? I thought you were working at the furniture store today.”
“I am, but look who wandered in.” He pointed at me, and I waved.
Before I could hardly say a word, Mrs. Doyle
had me wrapped in a hug so tight I could hardly breathe. And within a few seconds, Mary had joined us. I tried to just be happy in the moment and not think about how nervous they all made me. Mrs. Doyle soon returned to preparing food after asking about my family, but Mary pulled me aside with Matthew and began her scolding.
“I could smack you, Ruby Graves. Why on earth did you up and disappear?”
“Well, I didn’t mean to. It’s just…” How could I explain?
“Is it true?” Mary leaned in close and lowered her voice like she was asking about a scandal. “Did y’all lose your farm and everything?”
I crossed my arms and looked away. Could anything be so humiliating? I wondered how long it would be before me and my brothers were standing in that very line outside the door.
Matthew huffed and shook his head. “It’s rotten what the bank’s doing to farmers around here.” His arm brushed against mine, sending a rush of butterflies through my stomach. “Especially your family. Losing your daddy like that, and then they just swoop in and take everything.”
“Well, what’s done is done,” I said, wanting desperately to change the subject. “How often do you help with the soup kitchen?”
Mary sighed like she was exhausted. “I think they plan on having it twice a week, Wednesdays and Saturdays. I heard Mother volunteer us for one Saturday a month.”
I looked around at all the down-turned faces in the room. Very few of them spoke to each other. Most stared blankly as they shoveled food in their mouths. I heard a few thank-you’s and saw a few grim smiles as the women brought food and water around. “Is there anything I can do to help you?”
Mary’s face brightened, and she clapped her hands. “You should stay and work with us today. That would make things so much more fun.”
I didn’t see how it could possibly be fun, but the idea of serving these people and finding a way to make them smile, seemed like the most natural thing to do.
“I’d love to help,” I said.
Beside me, Matthew started chuckling. “This should be interesting. I might just stick around too.”
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