“Yes. Your cousin would kill me if I let something happen to you.”
“My cousin?” she said, jutting out her hip as she crossed her arms over her chest now. “You’re worried about me because of Perrie?”
I shrugged, running out of excuses. Honor watched me, before her lips turned up slightly in a sardonic smile, before she nodded at me. “I’ll see you around, Grey,” she said, shutting the door.
Damn it. Why did she have to have such a backbone when it came to me? Most girls always told me what I wanted to know, especially if they saw I was pissed. Honor didn’t seem to care at all what I thought. And damn did that ever make her more attractive.
Cursing under my breath, I walked back into my apartment, heading to the bedroom to change quickly. I had pent up energy, and now I was going to need a way to let it out. I glanced at my phone, considering calling Kelly, but decided against it. As much as I needed some exercise, I also needed a bit of peace and quiet – a drama free evening.
Changing my clothes, I was just heading out the door when my cell rang in my pocket. Taking it out, I let out a sigh before answering.
“Hey, Ma,” I said.
“Grey, your father is at it again.”
This was going to take a while.
***
Twenty minutes later and I was finally able to get off the phone. Heading down the stairs, I slowed as I approached the entrance. Honor stood outside, saying goodbye to Adrien, who stood a step below her, looking up at Honor with a smile that had my blood boiling again.
I stopped, shocked by my reaction. I did not want to see them kiss goodbye. The thought alone made me want to lash out and hit something. What the fuck was wrong with me? I had no right to feel this way. And yet, when I watched him turn and leave without so much as a hug from her, I couldn’t deny the relief I felt.
Walking again, I opened the door, locking eyes with her as she turned my way.
“Hey,” I said lamely.
“Hey,” she replied, tucking a piece of hair behind her ear.
“Study group over?” I asked, glancing at his retreating form.
Honor let out a mixture of a laugh and sigh as she shook her head at me, before nodding. “Yeah, Grey. Study group is over. Does that make you happy?”
I shrugged. “No. Should it?”
She just stared at me in silence, and I realized how absolutely ridiculous I was being. I’d always criticized girls for being dramatic, and look at me now. Honor was the younger one, and normally I would have expected this sort of immature behaviour from someone like her, but now the tables seemed to have turned. I felt like an idiot.
Without another word, she started to walk around me, making me feel even dumber.
“Honor, wait,” I said, just as she opened the door to our building.
“What now, Grey?”
The girl was annoyed with me. If I wasn’t so annoyed with myself also, I probably would have laughed.
“Look, I’m sorry I burst into your apartment. I am. My intentions were good, even if you think otherwise.”
Her shoulders slumped forward. “I know. It’s fine, you’re forgiven.”
“Good.”
We stared at one another in silence again. After a moment, she went to head inside. Why did I find it so difficult to communicate around this girl?
“I’m going for a run. Do you want to join me?” I blurted out.
She froze, her back to me, for a minute before looking over her shoulder. “Okay. Just give me a second to get changed.”
I just nodded, watching as she disappeared inside the building. Sitting down on the front step, I watched as people walked by, the evening night mild. It couldn’t have been more than ten minutes later when I heard the door open behind me, and her steps as she came to a stop where I sat.
“Ready?”
I looked up and for the first time in my life, my breath caught. I’d heard of that kind of thing happening, but never experienced it for myself. And it wasn’t as if she was wearing some spectacular gown, or made up nicely. No, she was the complete opposite, in track pants and a plain sweater. It didn’t matter. There was something about her that made every other girl pale in comparison, even dressed down as she was.
Looking up at her, the moon shining behind her, those beautiful eyes of her on me, I couldn’t help but wish for things I had no business wishing for. We were just friends, going for a run. I needed to remember that, no matter how right it felt to be spending time with her.
“Yup,” I said, standing. “Let’s go.”
We started off at a light jog down the street toward the large park near our building. Once we got to the path there, we picked up speed. I was impressed how well she kept up with me. Her breathing was even the entire time, displaying how often she must run.
Neither of us spoke as we ran. It was nice. I liked people who could handle silence. Most always felt the need to fill it with useless conversation. The only sound was the pounding of our feet, in sync with each other, and our steady breathing.
I kept casting glances her way, watching how her skin began to glow with a light sheen of sweat. Her eyes always stayed focused on the path before us, never once looking in my direction. I wondered what it was that was going through her mind as we went.
After a while I was the one who started to slow down, my lungs aching.
“I need a break,” I said, breaking the companionable silence between us.
Instantly she slowed her pace to match mine. “You want to start heading back?” she asked, placing her hands on her hips as she took deep breaths.
I didn’t want to part just yet, so before I could think better of it, I suggested she join me for sushi. I’d already eaten, and I was pretty certain she had too, but I was grasping for straws like a man dying of thirst.
She stopped, forcing me to as well. We faced each other, her eyes searching mine, for what? I wasn’t sure.
“Okay,” she said.
“Yeah?”
She shrugged. “I love sushi and I haven’t had it in a while.”
“I know the best place,” I said.
Her answering smile had that same catching feeling in my chest appearing again.
I didn’t know what I was doing, but I knew two things for sure.
1. It was no good.
And, 2. There was no way I could stop myself now.
Chapter 15
Honor
“No bodyguard today?” Adrien said with a smirk as he dropped into his seat.
“Bodyguard? What bodyguard?” Chloe asked, leaning forward.
I gave him a, I’m going to kill you, look before muttering, “It’s nothing.”
I don’t know why I felt uncomfortable discussing Grey, but I did. It wasn’t as if Adrien knew I’d spent the rest of the night with him.
Shit. I mean, not the whole night, of course. Obviously. That was obvious. Because Grey had a girlfriend and I didn’t cheat on, or with, people. And we were just friends. Friends who went for a run and then had some sushi. Where was the harm in that?
So why did I feel the sudden urge to bolt from my seat and make a run for it?
“If it’s nothing, then why is your face red?” Adrien asked, his voice laced with amusement.
I was seriously going to murder him.
“What am I missing here?” Chloe said, looking back and forth between us.
“We were messing around last night,” I started, pausing when I saw her eyes go comically wide. “Not like that,” I said.
“Unfortunately,” Adrien muttered.
“Shut up,” I said, pointing a finger warningly at him. “Anyway,” I turned back to Chloe, “Grey ended up bursting into my place because he thought something was wrong. It was no big deal.”
She blinked. If only I could read people’s minds because I had no idea what was going through hers.
Finally she seemed to find her voice. “Grey broke into your place because he heard you with another guy?”
Adrien
chuckled behind me.
“No, I mean yes, but it was more because he had heard me scream.”
Her eyes stayed the size of saucers. “You two were screaming?”
I shifted in my chair. This was getting worse by the minute.
“He was tickling me.”
Chloe’s lips folded in as she obviously tried not to laugh out loud. I rolled my eyes, sinking down in my seat.
“She’s very ticklish,” Adrien said.
I snapped my head toward him. “Shut. Up. This is all your fault.”
He laughed, raising both hands innocently. There was nothing innocent about the trouble maker!
Thankfully the teacher walked in, saving me from further interrogation. Chloe leaned sideways toward me.
“We’ll continue this conversation later,” she whispered.
“There’s nothing further to tell,” I whispered back.
She just winked at me, her mouth pulled up into an impish grin as she faced the teacher.
***
I spent the next hour trying my best to pay attention to the teacher as my mind continued to dip down memory lane. Last night was still too fresh in my mind to ignore.
Grey had been really funny when we’d gone for sushi. So much so, my face had begun to hurt from smiling so much. I don’t know what had possessed me to accept his offer, considering I’d already eaten, but I couldn’t regret it.
As much as we had an awkward tension between us at times, there were also times where all that melted away and things were incredible. I don’t know what caused the tense moments.
Okay, maybe I did. I’d be lying if I denied that there was an unspoken attraction there that both of us were clearly trying to ignore. I still couldn’t decide if we were epically failing at that, or sincerely developing a real friendship.
When the class was called to an end, I walked out in a daze, my thoughts a million miles away. I barely managed a wave to Chloe and Adrien as I headed to my next class.
The rest of the day was much the same. Every time I stared at my paper or blackboard all I saw were blue eyes and wide lips. When my teachers spoke, all I could hear was the deep rumble of a laugh, and the raspy voice that brought goose bumps to my arms.
When I finally made it back to my apartment, I had no idea what I’d learned that day. Great. My money was going down the drain if I kept this up. I needed to snap out of it. No more dwelling on boys and sushi.
Heading to my room, I grabbed some comfy clothes and underwear, and headed for a shower. I just needed some water to wash away these thoughts, and get my head back on straight. Some dinner and a little House of Cards were sure to help too.
Feeling better about everything, I took my time in the shower, even blowing out my hair before leaving the bathroom.
As I bent over to place my frozen pizza in the oven, I heard a knock at the door. Looking through the peephole, my heart instantly began to race at the person waiting on the other side. I opened the door, a smile immediately blooming on my face.
Grey’s lips turned up, and I swear my breath stopped.
“Hey,” he said in that voice that had me distracted all day long.
“Hey,” I replied.
“You busy?”
I shook my head. “I was just going to eat and watch some TV.”
He nodded, shoving his hands in his front pockets. “Would you like some company?”
This was probably not a good idea, considering where my thoughts had been all day, but I couldn’t stop myself from motioning him inside.
Grey entered, walking over to sit on my couch, making himself at home. He looked good on my couch. Too good.
I swallowed, suddenly nervous even though we weren’t technically doing anything wrong.
“What were you going to watch?” He asked.
“House of Cards. Do you watch it?”
“Nah, politics isn’t really my thing.”
I gasped. “You have no idea what you’re missing.”
“Is that so?” He said with a chuckle. “Then I guess I’m about to find out.”
“There’s no way I can fill you in on all the awesome-ness that is Frank and Clair. We’ll have to start from the beginning.”
He raised both brows. “You don’t mind?”
“I’m willing to take one for the team.”
“Okay, let’s see what all the hype is about then.”
I set up the show before getting us some drinks. We sat on opposite sides of the couch as the show started. When the oven buzzed, I went and got the pizza, splitting it between us and bringing two plates over.
Just like we had before, we watched TV in a comfortable companionship. It was clear after the first episode he was hooked so we went straight into the next one.
At some point the plates had been removed to the coffee table, and we were sitting closer. My eyes started to grow heavier, and before I knew it I was asleep.
When I woke, my head was nestled against Grey’s chest, his arm casually stretched across the back of the couch behind me.
I jolted up, looking down at him. “I’m so sorry!”
He chuckled, sitting up and stretching. “For what?”
“For...” I gestured at him and where we’d been, struggling for the right words.
“For using me as a pillow?” He offered.
“Basically, yeah.”
“No worries. I’ve been told I’m comfortable.”
He was. He really was.
I could feel my cheeks heat as he regarded me with a small, crooked grin.
“Relax, Honor. It’s no big deal. And your snoring was only marginally distracting from the show.”
A burst of laughter escaped me just as all the embarrassment evaporated.
“Shut up, I do not snore,” I said, tossing a pillow at him.
“You most definitely do. I had to turn the volume up.”
I was full out laughing now, the playfulness in his eyes causing a funny sensation in the pit of my stomach.
“You’re such a liar. I know for a fact I don’t snore.”
“Oh yeah? Do you tape yourself sleeping or something?”
“No! Perrie would have told me.”
He snorted. “Well, doll, I’m telling you, you snore. Maybe your cousin just didn’t want to embarrass you.”
I shook my head, my mouth dropping open. “And you don’t care about embarrassing me?”
His smirk widened. “Absolutely not. The blush on your face right now is adorable.”
My smile slipped a fraction as our eyes held. The light atmosphere plummeted as that familiar tension between us ignited. My breathing became shallower when his bright, blue eyes lowered to focus on my mouth.
Without realizing it, I started to lean in toward him until suddenly our mouths were barely a whisper away from each other. We paused there, the air between us thick and heavy as we stared at one another.
This was wrong. So, so wrong. He knew it, I knew it. The space left between us knew it.
How badly I wanted to close that distance and feel his mouth on mine again. I wanted that rush of need and desire that he had stirred in me the first time we kissed. But I couldn’t bring myself to do it.
As if my distress was answered by some unseen force, Grey’s phone that was on the table began to vibrate, breaking into our tension. Our heads turned at the same time. My stomach sank when I read Kelly’s name lit up on his screen, even as my rational side shouted out a “thank God” inside my head. Reality set in. Moving back, I leaned as far as I could against my corner of the couch. Grey, not meeting my eyes, grabbed his phone, clearing his throat as he stood.
“I should probably head out and let you get back to sleep,” he said, his voice gruff.
All I could manage was a shaky nod, my head lowered as he eased by me.
“Have a good night, Honor,” he said at the door.
I looked over at him, offering a weak smile. “You too, Grey.”
I watched as his jaw twitched, just before he
opened the door and left, shutting it behind him.
Like a robot on autopilot, I stood and walked to the door, locking it. Then I made my way to my bedroom, falling face first onto the mattress, groaning into the pillow.
What the hell had I almost done? How could I have been so stupid and selfish? That wasn’t me. I wasn’t that girl. I didn’t sneak around with another girl’s man.
It was obvious that Grey’s and my friendship wasn’t what we had been pretending it was. There was no denying it, at least to myself, that I had stronger feelings for him than just a friend.
“Damn,” I said, curling into a ball.
I liked Grey. Like, liked, liked Grey. Even though I knew he wasn’t my type, and I wasn’t really his, that didn’t change the fact that I was attracted to him more than I’d been with anyone else in the past.
Now what was I going to do? Obviously these little TV nights were out of the question. All alone-time with Grey from now on would have to be off limits. That fact left me feeling empty and depressed. I’d found someone I could be around and feel...at home with. There was no other way to explain it. And I couldn’t have that. At least, not with him.
Sighing, I closed my eyes and decided maybe things would look better in the morning. They would have to, because I’d never been the type to dwell on the opposite sex, and I wasn’t about to start now. I had my goals, and my friends and family, and that was enough. Grey Anderson was just going to have to be my neighbour and nothing else.
That was all there was to it.
Chapter 16
Grey
I strolled into work Tuesday morning, feeling much the same as the name my mother had decided to bestow on me. I’d barely slept the night before as I replayed that moment with Honor a million different ways in my mind.
What if I had never stared at her the way I had? Or leaned in when she did? What if I had kept my desire for her completely at bay so I didn’t ruin the delicate friendship we had only just established?
What if I had closed that distance? What if I had finally kissed her again like I’ve wanted to since that very first night? What if I had pulled her against me and felt her softness beneath me?
Young Love (Bloomfield #4) Page 10