«Anyway, I’ll leave. Even though I should stay… it will not be forever».
«I would not ask you either!».
«I do not want to take his place».
Lili got nervous. «Take his place? What a nonsense! You are alone, right now, and I am. And it’s Christmas. What’s wrong if we spend a little different Christmas than usual?».
Then she cut short: «Hurry up, there are still many gifts to open».
He made a smite smile. «I’m no longer a child», he repeated.
But it was, instead. And he used the toys. He even had fun.
He spent the afternoon in that living room. Lili was content to spy on him, without coming forward, without attending, enough for him to be happy. God, how much he looked like him. Not in appearance but in the mind.
It was just like him, identical.
The boy counted up to five before going down the stairs. He was gambling all that, at that moment. The backpack tied to his shoulders, a timid and worried look.
When he saw the fear in Lili’s eyes, he realized that he had already won.
«Are you going?».
He mentioned a smile. «Thank you for everything, but I think it’s time to get back on track».
«But we still have to dinner… and there are gifts, do not you want to take them?».
A sad look. «I do not know how to carry them, they are too bulky».
Lili was going to pieces, in front of her eyes. «But you can not… can not you stay a bit longer? Just for the holidays. Tomorrow! Just tomorrow, that’s his birthday! It’s been many years since I don’t celebrate it anymore. Then you can go away, I swear, I will not say anything».
An expression disturbed. «It does not seem right…».
«Please, what do you cost? Don’t leave me alone today, it’s so sad. Stay here, please».
«In his room?».
Lili took a long sigh. It was too much to say those words. «It’s no longer his room, he is dead. Of course, you can stay there».
«Are you sure you want to?».
She returned the smile. «I do not want anything else»
The closets were full of clothes. The boy shook his head. Everything had been left like then. Maybe he was morbid, maybe just sad.
After all he had won, exactly what he had expected had happened. Now that was his room, and he could stay as long as he wanted to. Was not that the reason he had pushed him to stay?
It was really what he wanted? To exploit that woman, to replace her dead son? He did not even know him. He did not like to make long-term projects, they would have taken away the taste of freedom.
He took a shirt and tried it, it seemed to his size. Then he kept looking around, opened every drawer and shelf, spying on the dead boy’s life.
Yes, everything was going for the best. If only there was not that damned cat!
«Enough! Enough! I’ve already eaten too much! I can’t do it anymore!».
Lili was radiant. «I just did it for you, you always liked it».
Yes, that cake was great, but it was not for him. When Lili had cooked she did not even know his existence. The boy did not make notice her. «How was your son?».
Lili stopped to assail him and sat down in front of him. «How it was? A wonderful, gorgeous guy. Perfect». She bowed her head and her voice changed. «I don’t know, I do not remember it».
The boy frowned. «What does it mean?».
«I remember that, but maybe I didn’t even know him. Is there a parent who can say that he really knows his son?»
«What do you mean?».
Lili got up. «That maybe our life was not perfect as I remember it. Maybe we also had our own problems. I should stop to idealize it now that she is dead». A moment of silence. «Maybe it’s time to continue living, to throw the past behind».
The boy had perfectly understood the meaning of that discourse. He was the future for Lili, he could have been.
She smiled back. «Keep sleeping, do you? Are you staying here with me?»
The boy did not answer.
The bed was soft, even if it had not been used for years, and the fragrant sheets, as if they had just changed. It was so easy to give up the reins, let it go, abandon yourself to those conveniences.
Lili was not like her mother at all, she did not look like her.
In the sleeping room the boy dreamed. Having reached his goal, being in his room and in his home. That everything was perfect.
Then a strange noise came into his dreams, a far purr out. He felt a heavy weight on his stomach, and something that was scratching his chest.
He opened his eyes slowly, not yet completely awake, but still in fear. He first saw the door of the room, half-closed. Then he looked down and met that one eye that in the dark seemed to shine.
The red cat was there, lying on his chest, staring at him.
At that moment it did not seem dangerous, indeed, he was still melting, moving his paws in synchrony. It was something natural that he had done so many times in the past.
Even for the cat he had taken his master’s place. Within that bed was no longer the enemy, but the one he had been waiting for years.
The boy stepped to stretch out his hand and stroke it. He did it very slowly. The cat, on the other hand, became more comfortable and stretched his legs, allowing him to scratch his belly.
It was uncomfortable in that position, yet he did not dare send it away. Minou’s approval was indispensable because he could stay there.
He closed her eyes, abandoning that blow.
Minou’s chilling gentleness paralyzed him. He opened his eyes without daring to move, fearing being attacked again.
Lili was on the door, looking confused.
Minou had stood up and was blowing at her.
Lili was astonished at that scene. «Does it bother you?», she asked.
The boy did not know what to answer. He only shook his head.
Lili felt embarrassed and very upset. More and more, that boy looked like his son. She still remembered him sleeping placid with Minou at his side.
«I… I just came to see how you were. Nothing else».
Then she withdrew, without adding anything else.
«Do not you dislike being called Minou? Do you find it a serious name?».
The cat was always with him, looked at him seriously, sitting on the water table as the boy was washing.
«Red! Do you like it as a name? Don’t you find it more appropriate?»
Certainly Minou was not fit, not for that skeletal cockpit that seemed to have escaped from hell.
«Do not you want to kill me now? How did you change your mind? Are not you afraid to take his place? Do not you mind seeing me in this room?»
He could not understand that strange cat. Perhaps the woman was right, he was completely crazy.
«Happy Birthday to You! Happy Birthday to You!».
In the semi-dark room, Lili went ahead holding a magnificent cake with fifteen candles above.
The boy was silent, though he found all the absurdity. But the woman needed it, that’s what he understood.
«Blows, blows. Shut off all and express a wish».
Stay there forever? Was that what he really wanted? He did not even know.
«Wait! Wait! I have a gift for you!».
Lili ran away and turned back on the lights. She handed him a little box.
«There was no need…», the boy started, but immediately he left. He also realized that that was not for him, which was only part of the past.
«You’re happy, do not you? Do you like to stay here? Do not you want to leave?».
The boy did not want to surrender so easily, to show interest, so he did not answer. He opened the packet instead. There were three books. Fantastic books, adventure. He remembered seeing many others in the room.
«You liked so much», Lili said, confusing the present with the past.
The boy did not care much, but he just flipped over to make her happy. He felt a hypocri
te to take advantage of that woman so kind.
By chance the look fell on the print date, and there he stopped.
«When did your son die?», he asked.
Lili grimaced. It was all so perfect, he was his son, he did not want to go back to reality. «Who cares?».
He remembered the hanging posters. «You said eight years, it seems to me».
«Yes, eight years, and then?».
«This book was printed three months ago».
Lili was confused. «I do not understand».
The boy got up and Lili tried to stop him. «No, wait, you have not eaten the cake yet!».
He did not straighten her and ran into the living room. The games he had given him were still there. He started rummaging through the boxes.
Lili was locked in the door, her heart in her throat.
The boy turned to look at her, upset. «They’re new! They are all new! You just bought them, I’m not your son!».
Lili almost smiled. «Is this all the problem? It’s for you, I bought them for you. I was sure you would like it».
The boy shook his head, getting worse. «You did not know me! You did not even know I existed! You can not have bought them for me!».
Lili shrugged. «You or another, what difference would he do? I just wanted to spend a Christmas with my family, not to stay alone with that damned cat». But the boy was getting more and more agitated. «What were you doing around that morning, just on Christmas?».
He tried to remember. «You did not have any parcel, you did not buy anything, then why did you leave?».
Lili chuckled, nervous. «I do this often. Sometimes it hurts to stay here alone, and I have to go out. I just do a ride».
The boy kept shaking his head. «No, no, the tree, the gifts, the lunch! It was all prepared! Did you know that today you would not be alone!».
«It’s not like you’re thinking…».
He was almost as if to attack her, but in the end he kept away, because that disturbing woman began to frighten him. «Then how is it? What were you looking for out there? Someone to be brought to this house? Did you invest me?».
Lili was increasingly nervous. «And if it were? You didn’t do anything! I saw you were alone. Do you think some things don’t understand them on the fly? You would have spent Christmas alone like a dog in the frost, without anyone worrying about you! Am I wrong? Are not you better here?».
The boy was almost hysterical, he tried to get around her. «You already did it! I’m not the first! It was all prepared! It was a trap!».
«But what a trap! I already did? So? What’s wrong with not wanting to spend the holidays alone? You too are alone, what’s wrong if I bring you here?».
«Stay away from me! Stay away from me!».
«Where would you go?».
«Street! I’ll go away!».
The boy turned around and ran up the stairs.
Red was sitting on the bed and looking at him as the boy returned his clothes in the backpack.
«You knew it, did not you? You wanted to send me away. Let me run, so you attacked me».
Red kept staring at him, motionless.
«Your mistress is not normal, she should go to a doctor, you know?».
«Why?», Lili said from the door, making him jump. She leaned on the jamb, exhausted, without having the strength to enter. Maybe she was also afraid of Red. «Why do you want to go? What did I do wrong?».
Really he did not understand, the boy was outraged.
He put his rucksack there and went to the bathroom. They heard him busy and came back for a moment after holding some flasks of medicines he threw on the bed, in front of Red.
«Your son was sick, you said! She had leukemia! If so, where are his medicines?».
Lili’s face stretched out. «Is this what you are scared of? I threw her away. I threw everything away after her death».
«Lie!», screamed the boy. «This room is intact! You have not taken anything away!»
«Medicine, yes, just medicines».
The boy reached the bookstore and grabbed a book. «Leave it!», Lili murmured.
«Because? He did not read a single book of the ones you bought him! He didn’t care. Look, I’ve never been open!».
But that one he held in his hand, yes. He pulled them out one after the other and put them on the desk in a row.
«What are they?», Lili murmured, though she didn’t want to know.
«Concert Tickets. Rock concerts. He did not even use one! He never went! He bought them but he never got to go! You did not like it, did not you?».
Lili shook her head, but perhaps it was not an answer, she just tried to erase the memories.
«How many things did you not like about him! Who knows how to assemble it! You will have quarreled, I guess! You were nothing but quarreling! He was not the son he liked you, did not he?».
«Stop».
The boy grabbed one. «And this? Do you know what this is?»
Lili did not even look at him.
«It was for the concert of Santo Stefano, eight years ago! His birthday! Why did not he go to that concert? Was he dead already?»
«Why do you want to revive the past? Yes, he was dead! When that concert was already dead!».
«Why did he buy it then? Why should a boy on the verge of death buying a ticket for a concert? There is also the stamp, do you see? He bought it on Christmas Eve».
Lili was silent.
«How did your son die? When did it happen?».
No reaction.
The boy waited a few more seconds and then went back to his backpack. «I do not care, I do not want to know anything. I went with you».
«No, please do not leave me alone».
«Do not come near me!».
«Do not do it, please do not go away, you too».
The boy frowned. «Is this the truth? Your son is not dead, has he just gone? Did he leave you?».
The tears flowed over Lili’s face, and she sobbed, silently.
«Well, I can not do anything, I can not take it. You will have to give it a reason».
«I can give you…».
«You can not give me the only thing I need: the freedom! My parents could not give it to me and you can not do it either! You were not able to even give it to your son!»
He stepped forward and forced her to leave the door. «Let me pass».
Now Lili sobbed.
The boy passed her and headed down the stairs. He could not wait to get away from that asylum.
Red’s chilling chewing paralyzed him. At that instant he understood the truth. And he started to turn.
She would never leave him! That boy, eight years before, would never leave his cat there. Because Red was her, this was obvious. He loved him, slept on his bed, protected him. No, he would not have fled leaving him there. And that could only mean one thing.
Lili had a gluttonous look, and held a pair of big scissors. «You can’t want to go again! I will not even allow you this time! I will not let you go, never!»
It rang as a fury against him. The boy stepped back screaming and nearly fell from the stairs. He just managed to cling to the railing.
But Red was also thrown. He jumped over the woman’s shoulders, sinking his claws, and then continued climbing to his neck, biting and scratching as he went crazy.
Lili started to scream, twisting in an attempt to get rid of the cat. He managed to reach his face and sank his nails into soft skin. Lili’s screams became desperate, while that infernal rage tried to strike her in her eyes. Then it was just a moment and they both rushed down the stairs. They almost overwhelmed him but he managed to cling to the railing.
When he got down under the tragedy he was done. Lili lying on the ground, his head turned in an unnatural position. She had stopped breathing.
Red was on the sofa arm, letting the wounds lick. He just paid him a glimpse of it.
The boy could even turn a faint smile on him. «Thanks buddy».
So they went
away together, a boy and his cat. The cat was old and scared, yet it was the first time he saw the world. The first time both were really free, with great desire to know, to discover the wonders surrounding them.
With the hope of living together a fantastic adventure.
December 2010
GOLD
Translation by Paolo Tullii
«Are we going to discuss about it?».
«There’s not much to discuss about, I already told you what I think about it».
It has always been like this, every time, whenever she came up with an idea, there was no way of making her change her mind.
«In the end, it’s just a weekend, and he’s fourteen already. He’s not a kid anymore. I could have understood if it was a female, but…».
His voice aggravated. «So you think so? Do you believe I’d make such distinctions? And what makes you think a female would be less judicious? Look at yourself! Look! Don’t tell me you could be entrusted!».
«What’s wrong, now?».
«That hat! Those boots! How could an adult man end up like that?».
I started growling, without even noticing. «I’ve been fishing! How do you think I’m supposed to dress up for fishing? In a suit?».
«See? That’s the kind of example you give to your children. No wonder they want to go camping! It’s all your fault!».
«What’s wrong with camping? Sleeping beneath the stars, breathing fresh air?».
«You really can’t see anything wrong about it, uh? Don’t you think about the dangers he could run into! Oh no, you love wild life! Too bad you’ve never gotten further than a hundred meters from home, ever since I’ve known you! Even for fishing, you’re just going to the jetty!». She quickly took a breath. «Then why don’t you take him fishing? Since I’m used to that now, it doesn’t make a difference, having a slacker or two around!».
I promised it to Giulio, and he entrusted me to resist, but I doubted I could have taken it any longer.
«Do you want him to be considered a pimp by everybody, always stuck to his mom’s skirts? That’s what you want for your son?».
«Who cares about others! Oh yeah, I shouldn’t care about my son’s safety, just to make the others happy!».
«You’re not the one that has to live with the others, it’s Giulio! While you’re here at home, he’s being made fun of in school! They say he’s being kept on a leash by his mom, that he’s always ready to spring at all her orders».
Lizzi Bizzi and the Red Witch Page 29