“But — ”
“And Kia is crazy about you. She’d make a much better match for you than I would.”
He crossed his arms. “Really? How?”
She blinked several times then turned back to the pond. She felt his gaze as he waited for her answer. Swallowing the lump in her throat she said, “Well, she’s young and pretty.”
“She’s young and gorgeous, but so are a lot of women.”
She scowled, thrown off by his quick agreement. “She’s in the medical field. You’d have something to talk about.”
“I don’t need to talk about my job all day. It would be nice to talk about something different after work.”
“She doesn’t have a reputation for sleeping around and passing out drunk at parties.”
“How many men have you slept with?”
Her head whipped around. “Why?”
He leaned forward, a curious glint in his eye. “Let’s see if you’re really as wild as they say you are.”
Crossing her arms over her chest she fired back. “How many women have you slept with?”
“Twenty: now answer my question,” he said, unfazed.
She looked away. Her heart pounded and her cheeks heated as she tried to wrestle back the jealousy. Twenty different women had been in Devin’s arms. Had he made love so intently with each of them, the way he’d done her? Did they also have an orgasm so mind blowing it brought tears to their eyes?
It took a minute before the realization that he’d slept with more women than she’d slept with men sunk in. After Tony, she’d spent the first few years of college as a tease before starting a string of sporadic, but disastrous relationships. The most recent being Mark.
“Thirteen,” she said meeting his eye once more.
His eyebrows rose. “Thirteen. That’s it? You’re such a slut,” he teased.
“I believe out of the two of us, you’re the slut.”
His lips curved into a sexy smile and he leaned toward her. “I believe you’ve listed weak reasons why we should deny what we both want.”
His arm snaked around her waist and pulled her body against his. The slow smolder went back to a raging inferno as desire swept through her. His eyes were hot as he held her gaze. He didn’t rush into it; he never did, always giving her the chance to pull away, to know what was going on.
“I promised,” she whispered.
He slowly lowered his head. “You didn’t promise me.”
One more time, she thought, just once more. He may not have had intentions of sleeping with her out here, but plans change. No one had to know what was going on. They could be discreet lovers, meeting away from prying eyes. It was only until she left town, then she’d go away and Kia or anyone else could have him. When his big hand slid under her shirt, she pushed away thoughts of him doing the same with her cousin or anyone else. He was her Devin now, and that was all that mattered.
She sighed as his soft lips met hers. He wasn’t close enough. She pressed against his strong chest, forcing him to lie back in the truck. Her leg slid over his trim waist as she straddled him and ran her fingers through his hair. It was longer than it had been the week before and she loved it. His braids were a thing of the past, but she would always delight in the memories of her hands in Devin’s hair.
She deepened the kiss while simultaneously reaching for the buttons of his shirt. His skin was hot against her hands. She lightly dragged her nails down his chest, playing with the springy hairs on the way to his navel. He groaned, intensifying the fire burning within her.
He gently grabbed her upper arms and pushed her away. “Shayla, this is not why I brought you out here.”
“I know.” She said leaning down to kiss his neck. Her greedy tongue trailed lightly across his bronze skin, savoring his salty flavor.
A tremble ran through his body. “What happened to us not being able to do this anymore?” His voice was strained.
Reaching for the button on his pants she said, “No one has to know.”
He stiffened and pushed her away. She still sat on top of him but he held her at arm’s length. “I’m not going to be your convenient sex partner.”
“I wasn’t thinking convenient. I was thinking occasional secret lover.”
His dark brows clashed over his eyes. “If we do this, then we’re going to have to be together. I stopped having casual affairs after college.”
His words touched a place in her heart that had long been neglected. It would be great to have more with him. To be more to him than a woman he called whenever he felt horny. But she couldn’t.
She rolled her eyes, hoping he’d believe her disdain. “Come on, Devin. It’s easier this way.”
He flipped her over so quickly she barely had time blink. Anger blazed in his eyes as he stared down at her. “I’m not doing what’s easy anymore. I’m either your friend, or your man, but I won’t do this friends-with-benefits mess.”
Her mouth opened and closed. She couldn’t give up the approval of her mother on something that she was sure Devin would wake up one day and realize was a mistake. Him being her friend was tolerated, but him being her man wouldn’t be. She’d end up dragging his name through the mud with hers.
She wrapped her arms around his neck, giving him her best seductive smile. “Don’t be angry. You said yourself that we’re too different. A relationship won’t work, but friendship and occasional sex will.”
His eyes narrowed. She didn’t know if he wanted to accept her offer or curse at her for it. Suddenly, he leaned down to kiss her roughly. He didn’t give her time to react, but no thought was needed. His hard body against hers was all that mattered. In an instant his hand was up her shirt. She arched her back so he could easily unhook her bra. She moaned in relief when the pressure from the underwire was taken away, replaced by his warm palms. His fingers toyed with her sensitive nipple until it hardened in his hand.
Tearing away from her mouth, his head lowered to her aching breast as he raised her shirt. His lips closed around the stiff peak, sucking it deeply into his hot mouth causing her to gasp with pleasure. He shifted to lie beside her and pushed the other side of her shirt up. The cool air caressed the burning skin of her other breast. It didn’t stand a chance against the heat Devin caused within her. Her body tightened like a pulled string when his strong hand skimmed lightly down her flat stomach to the waistband of her jeans. She held her breath as he slowly breached the barrier. His mouth continued to suck her breast his hand pushed past the waistband of her underwear to gently tease the wet curls at the apex of her thighs.
He lifted his head and stared at her, his broad fingers continuing to tease between her legs. She spread her thighs. His fingers lightly danced across her enlarged clit before he pulled back to once again tease her.
“You want to make love to me.” His voice was low, strained.
“Yes.”
One blunt fingertip teased the opening of her sex. “I will. As soon as you agree to be mine. In the open, for everyone to see. Otherwise, I can only offer you friendship.”
He leisurely removed his hand, brushed his lips across hers and pulled away. She fought to breathe as he rolled away. He closed his eyes, took a deep breath, and got off the back of the truck. She stared at the darkening sky. The juncture of her thighs was soaked, swollen, and aching for more. But he asked for something she couldn’t give.
“Let’s go,” he said from the side of the truck.
She continued to fight for breath. With her eyes closed she sat up and straightened her bra and shirt. She willed the desire away, for the sense of need to subside, but it was a losing battle. She couldn’t have Devin, and she couldn’t disappoint her family. When her heart finally returned to a semi-normal beat, she opened her eyes and met his gaze.
“Let’s go.”
Chapter 16
Southern soul music and the smell of warm food greeted Shayla as she entered Helena’s Main Street diner. The restaurant was the gathering place for citizens of Helena looking for a good meal and a good conversation. Shayla had avoided the place since arriving. For the last few weeks, she’d been the topic of conversation in town. After surviving the church festival meeting yesterday and the acceptance of Reverend Jenkins, facing any accusing looks from neighbors in the diner seemed paltry.
Mr. Wilson, the owner, waved his large hand and smiled at her from behind the counter when she entered. She returned his greeting with a small wave before looking for a place to sit. Most of the booths were filled with families or couples. Her gaze collided with a few of the women, who either slid closer to their men or wrapped possessive arms around their shoulders. As if she really planned to outright snatch them from their grasp.
She sat at the bar and pulled out a vinyl menu squeezed between the napkin dispenser and ketchup. The offerings hadn’t changed since she left.
“What can I get you?” Jennie, the red-head waitress who’d worked there since Shayla was in high school, asked not looking up from her notepad.
“Let me get the baked chicken, okra, and tomatoes and cabbage.”
Jennie scribbled in her notebook. “Sure thing, hon.” When she looked up the smile on her face withered away. “Shayla Monroe. I heard you were back in town.”
Shayla straightened her shoulder lifted the corner of her mouth. “Only temporarily.”
Jennie harrumphed. “You look just like your daddy.”
“I’m not my daddy.”
One of Jennie’s thin shoulders lifted. “According to what happened in Atlanta, the apple don’t fall far from the tree.” Jennie stuck her pen in her ponytail. “I’ll put this in for you. To go.”
Shayla’s face burned and she clenched her fist to keep from slapping the smug look off Jennie’s face. “It’s for here. And my personal life isn’t your business.”
Jennie raised an eyebrow. “Tell that to the news.”
Jennie walked away, and Shayla glanced around to see if anyone had overheard the exchange. Thankfully, the seats next to her at the bar were empty, but the guy sitting two seats over gave her a once over before his lips spread into a sly smile. She looked away, drumming her fingers on the counter with one hand and fingering the heart at her neck with the other. Complaining to Mr. Wilson about Jennie was useless. The man had been sleeping with the woman for years and despite her bad attitude she ran the place better than any other waitress he had.
The bell chimed over the door, bringing in a blast of air from outside and new patrons. She glanced over her shoulder and nearly fell off her seat. Devin held the door open for Peaches, who grinned up at him as if he were the president and Santa Claus all wrapped up in one. This confirmed her suspicions that Peaches wasn’t over her crush on Devin.
Devin chuckled at something Peaches said. The warm sound sent a thrill through her. She’d tried, unsuccessfully, all day to accept that they would only be friends. That she would no longer experience his kisses on her body or the wonder of being in his arms. But a voice in her head kept reminding her that he wanted her. Not just for a one night stand or occasional hook ups, but out in the open, in a full blown relationship for the entire town to see.
He looked up and froze when their eyes met. Heat flared in their whiskey colored centers. It was so intense she had to look away or else she’d make a fool of herself and run up to hug him or something.
She looked at Peaches and smiled. “Hey, girl.”
Peaches smile turned stiff. “What’s up, Shayla.” She sauntered over and sat in the chair next to her. “I haven’t seen you since Devin had to carry you out of the club.”
Peaches didn’t try to lower her voice, and several patrons in booths near the bar stopped talking and looked expectantly at Shayla and Peaches.
“I walked out,” Shayla said in a tight voice.
Peaches grinned. “Yeah, after saying you were about to throw up. Isn’t that right, Devin? Just like old times. Shayla and Tony getting drunk and partying it up.”
Devin’s jaw clenched. His eyes were hard as he sat on the other side of Shayla. “I think we can talk about something else now.”
Peaches’s devilish smile turned into a frown. “Always taking up for Shayla.”
“Come on, Peaches, let’s move on to something else.” Shayla said. She refused to look at Devin and see his disappointment.
Peaches waved a hand. “Okay, tell me what’s up with you and that politician? Girl, you really know how to pick ’em. But then, you always had men eating out of the palm of your hand.”
Shayla’s heart thumped heavily in her chest. Conversation in the diner ceased. The anticipation for her answer was almost tangible. She didn’t have to answer Peaches’s question. It was no one’s business, but if she didn’t shut Peaches down now, she’d go on to tell an exaggerated version of the story to anyone who would listen. If she hadn’t already.
“His wife filed for divorce long before I started seeing him. I didn’t break up their marriage,” she said in an even tone. It was so quiet in the diner everyone heard.
Peaches raised a brow. “That’s what they all say.”
Devin shifted in his seat. “That’s enough Peaches.”
If looks could kill, the glare Peaches shot at Devin would have ended his life. “I’m just asking what we all want to know. I mean, it’s not like she was all virtuous before she left town but it takes a certain kind of low to sleep with a married man.”
Shayla jumped up from her seat. She took a small amount of satisfaction watching Peaches jerk backwards. “I really appreciate your support, Peaches. I mean, it’s hard to come back to a town after a difficult situation. It’s nice to know my friends have my back.”
With a sigh, Peaches leaned forward. “I’ve always kept it real with you Shayla. I even told you how messed up it was when you screwed Tony the same day you started seeing Devin.”
Murmurs started in the nearby booths. Shayla’s stomach knotted. Her vision blurred and she clenched the back of the barstool. The familiar humiliation from her youth crawled over her like an army of ants. Her eyes darted to the nearby table where a couple sat. She didn’t remember their names, but recognized their faces from high school. They both nodded, their heads close as they threw accusing looks her way.
A warm hand rested on her shoulder. She jerked away, refusing to meet Devin’s gaze. She didn’t need his defense of her. This was good. It was exactly what she needed. A very public reminder that she didn’t belong with him.
She glared at Peaches. “Don’t bother doing me anymore favors.”
Jennie dumped Shayla’s food, wrapped in a to-go box, on the counter. Swallowing the lump in her throat, she pulled wad of cash from her pocket and threw it on the counter.
Devin touched her arm. “Shayla … ”
She snatched away. “Thanks, Jennie.” Jennie just smirked as Shayla grabbed the food and rushed out the door.
• • •
An hour later, Shayla’s food remained in the packaging on her kitchen table while she sat and stared at a bottle of wine. The urge to open it and drain its contents pulled and tugged at her insides. Memories of that night and the shame that followed would fade at the bottom of the bottle. It was a coping mechanism she’d started right after it happened. Otherwise, she never would have survived high school. A tear spilled from her eye.
Slutty Shayla. What the guys called her afterwards.
Stupid Shayla. What her mom called her.
She never let them know how much it hurt. Instead she partied harder, laughed louder, and accepted Tony protecting her from the worst of it by dealing with his verbal abuse. It was fitting punishment for what happened, and what she’d done afterward.
With a s
ad laugh she leaned forward and rubbed her eyes with the heels of her hands. She was pathetic. The only good thing was nobody knew how pathetic. The last thing she would do was show anyone how hard it was to deal.
A knock on the door jerked her out of her thoughts. She picked up the wine and headed for the front door. Another frantic knock stopped her in her tracks. Turning, she went to the back door with a frown.
“Who is it?” she called turning on the back porch light.
“It’s me.”
She gasped and flipped the light off. She quickly unlocked the door and poked her head out. “What are you doing here?” she whispered looking around the dark back yard to see if anyone was watching.
Devin sighed. “Checking on you. Are you okay?”
His eyes were filled with concern. It nearly brought more tears to her eyes. “I’m okay.”
He scowled. “Liar. You look like you’re about to cry.”
Her shoulders stiffened and she gripped the wine bottle in her hand. “I’m not crying.”
“Cut it out, Shayla. I could always tell when you were about to cry. You scrunch your nose over and over. It’s kinda cute, like a rabbit.”
A reluctant laugh burst from her lips. “I forgot you used to say that.”
He lowered his head to meet her eye. “Will you let me in?”
She started to say no, but he crossed his arms and spread his legs as if he were prepared to stand there all night if needed. She stepped back and pulled him in. “What if someone saw you?”
“No one saw me. I walked here from the diner, and made sure to come through the back. No need to set the gossips off with my truck in your driveway.”
She cringed and heavily dropped the wine bottle onto the table. “I don’t know why you even want to see me after the fiasco at the diner.”
She went over and closed the window blinds above the sink, then went into the living room to draw down the shades. Peeking through the small glass windows on the front door she made sure no one was in front of the house.
When Devin’s hand brushed the skin at the back of her neck she jumped. He didn’t let her pull away; instead he turned her to face him and gently massaged the muscles.
A Heart to Heal Page 13