Lucy remained silent, and though Kelsey understood, she hoped that Lucy would show kindness when they were with Peyton. The trip could be taxing on her and they still had stairs to face in the arena. She gave Lucy a squeeze and lowered her arm as she glanced over her shoulder to make sure Ross and Peyton were behind them. She slowed even more until they caught up.
“Can I at least have a treat?” Lucy’s tone echoed her earlier complaint.
“You ate at the café. Are you still hungry?” She needed to give on this one or she’d never hear the end of it from Lucy.
“Just an ice cream and a drink.”
Kelsey eyed Ross. “Is it okay if I buy Peyton a treat?” Though she didn’t want Ross to hear Lucy’s complaint, she hoped he would say yes.
“Is Lucy having something?”
She told him, and Peyton agreed that she wanted the same thing.
“This is on me then.” Ross dug into his pocket, pulled out some bills and handed the money to Peyton. “Get in line now. It’s long, and we’ll wait here.”
The girls walked off together, and Ross stood beside her, a curious look growing on his face. “Something wrong?”
Kelsey wanted to avoid the topic. She’d already warned Ross about the possible problem, and it had appeared as she had anticipated it might. “It’s nothing.”
“Lucy’s angry.”
It wasn’t a question, but a statement, and Kelsey flinched. “More like frustrated. It’s what I’ve worried about.” She drew in a breath. “I talked to her about slowing down for Peyton’s sake.”
“Don’t make a big deal out of it, or these two will never be friends.”
She suspected that might be the case anyway. Lucy was too spunky for Peyton. She’d hurt Peyton’s feelings without even realizing it, and she was competitive. Lucy wanted to win games. Peyton was more of a pouter, yet she wanted things her way. If Peyton would speak out and fight for herself, she would do better. Kelsey slammed her thoughts into a box. “We can only hope, Ross. Friendship grows in its time. We can’t force it.”
“I know, but I…”
She placed her hand on his arm. “I do, too. I’d like to see the girls become friends. It would be nice for both of them. Still I don’t want us to be disappointed if that doesn’t happen.”
He lowered his head with a nod. With the discussion of Lucy and Peyton, the fun evening had become a downer once again. She eyed the girls. They had advanced closer to the counter. They looked cute together, Peyton with her long brown hair and Lucy’s blond halo of curls. Although today the halo didn’t fit her attitude.
Memories awakened in her. The first time she held Lucy in her arms something stirred inside her. Hopes and dreams spilled into her mind. But then a few years ago, things had changed and she prayed Lucy would see her teen years. Yet today, she was healthy and heading for eleven. Joy coursed through her. She prayed that those bad days were over for good.
As she studied the girls, Kelsey’s attention settled on Peyton. She was an inch or more taller than Lucy, and today she noticed that Peyton’s figure had begun to blossom. Lucy still looked more girlish. Seeing it made her ache for Ross. One day he’d mentioned having to face the task of explaining things to her. That was usually a mother’s job, but Ross would handle it alone.
The hawkers’ voices boomed in her ears. Above their heads flashed expensive souvenir booklets with photographs of the Hanson brothers, and Kelsey hoped the girls wouldn’t notice the pitch. They would glance at the pictures and toss the expensive booklet into a drawer…or on the floor, which seemed to be the place Lucy liked to store things these days, including her clothes. Kelsey grinned. Maybe she was just practicing for her teen years.
“Kelsey.”
Ross’s voice drew her back. “Sorry. I was thinking about the girls.”
“I suspected you were.” He slipped his arm around her back. “I’m sorry that I brought that up again. We were having a great time, and as soon as the girls come into the conversation, something happens. I understand, but I feel the barricade rise between us. I don’t want that.”
“I don’t want it, either, Ross. Let’s be patient and give the girls a chance to get to know each other without us hovering. Maybe we’re trying to do too much with them.” She searched his eyes. “Do you think we should back off?”
“You have a point.” A sigh rolled through him.
“Since we’re on the subject of the girls, have you heard from Peyton’s physician yet about her tests?”
“The receptionist called to say the tests are in, and I made an appointment. Dr. Timmons doesn’t do much on the phone, and I wish he would. Then I’d know.”
Those feelings weren’t new to Kelsey. “Don’t forget to call me when you hear.”
Ross nodded and tilted his head toward the concession line. “They’re getting their snacks now, so before they come back, I want to tell you that no matter what problems we’re having I don’t want them to affect our relationship. I told you before, but your friendship means a lot to me.” He studied her face. “A lot.”
Her stomach tightened. “I feel the same way.”
“Then let’s agree that the next date is just us.”
Date. The word skipped across her heart. “Okay. Just us.”
Us. She remembered the day us died for her. Her husband confessed his affair, and her life fell apart. Trusting was still difficult, but Ross always seemed so honest that she believed what he said. Maybe the Lord had an us planned for her one day again when their chaotic lives calmed down, and they could plan a future together, instead of trying to divide their days.
Chapter Eight
The doorbell’s chime drew Kelsey to the door. When she opened it, Ross stood there, unsmiling. Stress etched his face.
“Hi. I hope you don’t mind I dropped by without calling.”
He looked desolate, and she ached for him. “No, it’s fine.” She stepped back, opening the door wider. “Any news on Peyton?” She reached for his jacket.
“Today.” He drew up his shoulders and shrugged it off.
“Not good news.” Her question wasn’t needed. She knew from the look on his face. “What is it, Ross?”
He ambled into the room and plopped on the sofa. “It could be worse, but Timmons upped her blood thinner this time. If she could only get her arrhythmia under control, that would help.”
“That affects her activities, I know.” She sank into a chair near him. Though she wanted to be upbeat and say something positive, concern pulled at her face.
“It restricts her more than she’s already restricted. I worry that the school will suggest she be homeschooled with a visiting teacher dropping in once a week. I don’t want to think of that happening. I’m glad to help her with her studies, but it kills me for her. She already feels alienated, and this will just broaden the gap.”
Ross pushed himself up from the sofa and paced to the window and back as if he were waiting for someone, but Kelsey guessed he was only waiting for answers for his daughter’s healing.
She rose and met him in the middle of the living room, slipping her hands to his shoulders. “You know my heart is breaking for you.”
He searched her eyes. “I know. You really care, and that means more than I can say. You’re strong and I feel so lost sometimes.”
She brushed his cheek with her palm. “Funny, because I’ve thought that about you.”
His eyebrows arched. “One of us is confused.” A faint smile touched his lips.
She let her hand drop to his and pulled him forward. “Let’s have some coffee. It won’t solve our problems, but maybe caffeine will stimulate our brain cells.”
“Maybe.” A short chuckle left him as he followed her through the dining room to the kitchen. She motioned him to sit at the table while she poured the coffee and carried it to him. “You dropped Peyton off at school?”
He nodded. “I want to keep things as normal as I can for her.”
She slipped onto the chair. “And
what about you? What are you doing for yourself?”
A blank look filled his eyes. “I don’t know what you mean?”
“This stress is taking a toll on you, Ross. Come to MOSK Wednesday. Share these things and listen to the others. I know it won’t change anything, but you said it yourself. Maybe you can learn a way to cope or hear something that will help.”
A lengthy breath escaped him. “Now that I had you fight for me, sometimes I think it was a mistake. I’m not sure I can open up like I can to you. I know you and I—”
“You’ll never know if you don’t try.”
He closed his eyes, his head nodding. “You’re right. The other day I began to realize that I’m avoiding it. It kills me to know you fought a battle for me, and now I’m acting like a coward.”
“Coward?” She reached across the table and grasped his hand. “Not a coward. A hero who’s not looking forward to a new battle, but you will win.”
“I will. Yes.”
“Good. I really think you’ll—”
The telephone jarred their conversation. It always did when Lucy was away from home. “Excuse me a minute.” She headed for the phone across the room. She gazed at the caller ID and froze. She longed to turn and walk away, but Kelsey forced herself to pick up the headset.
“Kelsey, this is Karen. I hated to call you, but I thought I should for Lucy’s sake.”
Lucy’s sake. Hearing from her ex-friend not only startled Kelsey, but triggered the bitter feelings she’d lugged around since Karen ran off with her husband. “What is it?”
“It’s Doug. He’s very ill and—”
Her words vanished in a sob. Kelsey braced herself.
“It’s pancreatic cancer, Kelsey.”
Pancreatic. The word squeezed against her heart. The worst. “What stage?”
“Three. It’s in the lymph nodes.”
The news startled her. Doug was Lucy’s father. Though he’d been remiss in seeing her—more like neglectful—the fact remained. “I’m sorry, Karen.” How long? The question hung on her lips but couldn’t be uttered.
“I know he hasn’t been a good father to Lucy. I bugged him sometimes, but you know how he is. He kept putting it off, and the longer he waited the harder it was.”
Kelsey knew and didn’t want to hear his excuses. She tried to find appropriate words, but every thought that came to her was piled with anger and resentment.
“He wants to see Lucy, Kelsey.”
“Now?” The word shot from her. “You’re asking me to…” To what? Give a dying man his last wish. “Lucy’s been through a difficult time, and—”
“I know. Doug couldn’t handle it. When—”
“Couldn’t handle it? Karen, you were once my friend. I was left alone to handle it. No support from Doug or you.” Self-pity tore through her.
“Kelsey, would you have accepted my help?”
Shame lodged in her chest. “Probably not. You’re right, but I would have appreciated a little support from Doug.”
She leaned against the wall, torn with her response. “I’ll talk with Lucy and see if she’s up to it.” The statement was moot. Lucy was up to everything. She had gained strength from fighting her own battle.
Kelsey swallowed her frustration. “Is there treatment? Surgery?”
“He has options.” Karen’s voice cracked. “But he’s not sure he wants to go through it when the outcome is clear.”
Reality pressed against her stomach, and for a moment, her mind flew back to the years she’d been in love with Doug and the good times they’d had. But he’d ruined it all with his betrayal of their marriage vows. Vows that had meant everything to her.
Kelsey lifted her gaze, startled to see Ross sitting across the great room, staring out the window. She’d forgotten. “Karen, I’ll talk to Lucy and call you back. She’s in school now.” She glanced at her watch. Only four hours before she had to break the news to Lucy that her father was dying.
“Is she doing better now? Kelsey…” Her name had almost vanished in a whisper. “I’m so sorry. I should have asked earlier.”
“You had other things on your mind.” And so did she. Her gaze settled on Ross. She’d never told him about Doug, and she wondered what he was thinking. “I have company right now, Karen. I’ll call you later this evening after I talk with Lucy.”
When she hung up, she stood a moment, sorry that Ross had to hear her conversation. She should have gone into her bedroom. Anywhere but to let him hear her bitterness and self-pity.
“I’m sorry, Ross. I had no idea the call would take so long.”
He turned to face her, his eyes questioning. “I should have taken a walk and given you privacy.”
“No. It’s best you were here.” She motioned for him to sit and warmed his coffee. “You’ve never asked, and I’ve never talked about my ex.”
He grasped the cup and took a sip. “I’ve wondered, but didn’t want to pry.”
“I should have told you long ago. You told me about Ruthie.” She had always avoided the memories. Too much pain. “Do you have time to listen?”
“I’d like to hear what happened. I assume the call was from him.”
“About him. It was from his wife, Karen.” She drew in a lengthy breath and told Ross about Doug and Karen’s betrayal. She didn’t delve into details. Not today.
“Your best friend?” He looked dazed. “And you never suspected?”
“Gullible. Stupid. Blind.” Her chest tightened with the memory of the hurt and mortification she dealt with when she found out.
“Deceived by your two best friends.” He shook his head. “I can’t even imagine.”
Neither could Kelsey. “I should have caught on.” She thought back to clues she’d brushed away, slips of the tongue she’d ignored.
“How did you find out?”
The day stabbed her. “Her husband figured it out and called me.”
Ross’s eyes widened as he drew back. “He called you. That must have been horrible.”
“I still didn’t believe it. I thought he was mixed up. Had the wrong person. You know. I did everything to convince him he was wrong until he said enough things that I had to face the truth.”
Ross leaned forward and grasped her hand.
“You know what Doug said when I confronted him?”
“I can’t imagine.”
“He said, ‘I never wanted you to know.’” Despite the painful memory, she chuckled at the absurdity. “How do you respond to that? Naturally, he didn’t want me to know.”
Ross shook his head, amazement on his face. “I’m glad you can laugh about it now.”
“I’ve risen above it. Moved on.” Had she really? “But the phone call dredged up a lot of emotion.”
“Why did she call?”
Gooseflesh rose up her arm. “Doug has pancreatic cancer. He’s in stage three.”
He lowered his head. “Horrible.”
“It is…especially for Lucy.” The thought bolted through her, and she rose on trembling legs. “I have to tell her when she gets home, and I don’t know how she’ll take it.”
“It’s her dad. I suppose she’ll—”
“He’s her father pretty much in name only. He hasn’t been around. An occasional call and, when he remembers, a gift for Christmas or her birthday.”
A frown deepened on his face.
“But to be fair, I didn’t push it. I didn’t want to face them, so their absence was better for me than their presence.” What she’d said to Karen jogged her mind. I was left alone to handle it. No support from Doug or you. It reeked of self-pity.
Ross drew her into his arms. “What you did seems natural to me. Don’t fault yourself. A father of any worth would insist on being with his daughter. You couldn’t stop him if you wanted to.”
Though he was right, Kelsey questioned her reaction, in retrospect. “Maybe a little urging would have gotten some action. Lucy would have known her father better than she does now.”
&n
bsp; He pressed his cheek to hers. “It’s so hard to do the right thing when you’re wounded, and you were, Kelsey.”
He kissed her cheek and drew her closer. She felt her heart beating against his chest, his strong arms protecting her.
“I wish I could be there with you when you talk to Lucy, but I know I can’t.” He tilted her chin and looked into her eyes. “I want to be here for you, Kelsey, in any way I can. Just ask.”
Tears bubbled to the surface and rested on her lashes. His kindness overwhelmed her. She’d never experienced that kind of caring, and all her questions about their fated relationship seemed pointless now, and they vanished with his touch. “Thank you. Really. But talking to Lucy is something I have to do alone.”
“I know it is.”
She stood in his arms, dreading the moment that Lucy came home and dreading Ross leaving. When she faced her singleness, she often wondered what the future had in store for her—what God had in store for her—and she’d been taunted by the Bible verse that rang in her head. Two are better than one. She had become a one, but today the words held a different meaning. If one falls down, his friend can help him up. She clung to Ross’s muscular frame, knowing that she wouldn’t fall with him at her side.
Thank You, Lord.
Ross stood in the doorway of the MOSK meeting, gathering courage. Kelsey had been correct. He needed to be here, so he’d pushed away the negative talk in his head and forced himself to attend. When he came through the door, he faced a group of women. No other men were in attendance—he’d hoped that maybe one other brave soul had decided to take advantage of the organization’s new policy…to open the group to male members on a trial basis.
The word trial irked him, but he had to be grateful they were willing to try, and he had to admit, he could have easily passed up the offer himself without Kelsey’s encouragement. She thought he was strong. He wasn’t. His strength came from prayer and common sense. Men were expected to handle things.
Kelsey smiled and patted the seat next to her.
He wandered to her side, curious about her discussion with Lucy. She hadn’t called, and he decided to give her time to deal with the difficult situation that he’d witnessed. He settled into the chair beside her and studied her face before asking. “How’s Lucy?”
A Family of Their Own Page 9