by ANDREA SMITH
"Do you mean you were actually named 'Tylar Tylar' at some point?"
"No," I laughed thinking about how one might presume that, "It's kind of a long story."
"Well I got time 'Little Bit' if you'd like to tell me. My name is Danny Duvall."
He held his hand out to me and I shook it. It was warm and strong.
"Tylar Sinclair," I said smiling. "Maybe I'll tell you all about it sometime. Is it okay if I saddle up Jasmine?"
"Sure thing. Can you lift the saddle up that high?"
"I think I can manage, Danny," I replied walking to where the freshly polished saddle was on the bench.
I could tell that he was watching the whole time I got Jasmine bridled and saddled.
"Well I am impressed, Ms. Sinclair," he said as I mounted the horse. "I like to see a lady that can handle all aspects of riding. Most of the times they want someone else to do the hard stuff. Looks like you can hold your own."
"I always have," I said with a wink digging the stirrups into Jasmine's side and clicking my tongue.
I couldn't believe that I had come off that flirtatious with him. What the hell was I thinking these days? That was clearly not how I rolled.
It was a crisp autumn day with plenty of sunshine. It was a perfect day for trail riding. This was even better therapy than the day of 'pampering' I had treated myself to yesterday. Today was Edie's day off but we were going clubbing this evening. She was going to pick me up around eight. I felt funny about borrowing one of my dad's vehicles.
By the time I finished riding and had brushed the horse down, it was starting to get dark out. I hadn't seen any more of Danny when I had returned to the stable. I could hear some country western music playing from the apartments upstairs. He was probably finished for the day.
I headed up to the house and got ready for an evening out with Edie. She pulled up out front and I scurried out the door hollering a quick good-bye to my father and telling him not to wait up. This must be so much what it was like to be a teenager I thought. I had missed it all.
We went to a bar called 'The Crying Cowboy.' It was aptly named I discovered. The band was a very loud country-western group. Everyone was line dancing. I knew that I was out of my league here.
Edie ordered a rum and coke; I ordered an 'Adios Mother Fucker.' What the hell. I was halfway through my drink when I heard a familiar voice behind me.
"Well, hey there 'Little Bit' - nice seeing you out this evening."
I turned and saw Danny's smile; his eyes flickered over me appreciatively. I had worn a low cut sweater with one of my new satin push-up bras. He had a devilish grin on his face as he checked me out.
"Hey Danny," I said impassively, "You know Edie right?"
"Hey Edie," he said, not taking his eyes off of me.
I was starting to feel like he knew what I looked like without my clothes on. He definitely had a little bit of that 'bad boy' thing going on.
"Wanna dance, Tylar?"
A slow song was starting up and I figured I could handle that much better than some 'Boot scooting boogie' number.
"Sure, why not?"
I knew that he was trying his best to intimidate me with his bold stares and complacent attitude. He was wasting his time. I was not on the market so it didn't matter what type of mating dance he was trying to do. It wasn't going to happen with us.
He held me close as we danced to the slow song. I felt his hand rubbing my back as we swayed back and forth. He smelled of after-shave. I think it was 'Polo'.
"So, how was your ride today, 'Little Bit'?"
"It was fine," I replied, "It was relaxing."
"Now this is relaxing," he said trying to be smooth.
"Having a little liquor in my gut and a beautiful woman in my arms. It doesn't get any better than this."
(Ohh - please!!)
The song finally ended but Danny still had his arms wrapped around me.
"I don't want to let you go," he said softly.
"Danny - you are welcome to join Edie and me at our table," I invited.
I didn't need to say it twice. He grabbed his beer and joined us. Edie was talking to a guy at the next table who promptly asked her to dance as the band started the next song.
"So Tylar, tell me all about yourself. Don't leave anything out," he said to me.
I quickly revealed to him that I was married. I needed to get that out there on the table. He didn't bat an eye.
"I kinda figured that when I saw the rock," he replied, his eyes sparkling mischievously. "So, where is hubby?"
"It's kind of complicated," I said not wanting to air my dirty laundry. Danny was practically a stranger after all.
"Hey," he said leaning in so that I could hear him. "I won't nose into your business, but if you feel like talking about it just know that I'm a good listener, alright?"
"Alright Danny. Thanks."
He ordered a round of drinks for us and I found myself letting my guard down a bit. I ended up telling him the whole sordid story of what had happened with Trey and Amber.
"Wow," he said, shaking his head. "What the hell is wrong with your hubby? You seem to be the whole package, if you ask me."
I blushed at the compliment. He was a bit disarming.
"So, what are your plans?" he asked.
"Well for now I just needed a break. I've asked my father if I can help out with the horses. He is fine with it. I hope you don't mind."
"Not at all 'Little Bit," he said to me with a smile. "I am looking forward to it."
The next few days were filled with a flurry of activities. I spent a good portion of the day working with Danny and the horses. It turned out to be a pleasant distraction. I found the work rewarding and he was great company.
In the evenings after a shower and dinner, Danny and I would hit the nearby clubs and taverns. Edie would come with us most of the time so I didn't feel that I was doing anything inappropriate.
I wasn't sure that my father saw it the same way. I could tell that he wasn't thrilled about my social activities in the evenings. He had made a couple off-handed remarks about the late hours I was keeping. He asked me a couple of times whether I was keeping in touch with Trey.
The truth was I hadn't returned any of Trey's calls or texts since I had left him the voicemail message. The whole point of my being here was to put some distance between Trey and I; it defeated the purpose to remain in constant communication with him. I had finally texted him just that. He hadn't bothered me since then. That had been a couple of days ago.
I was lying across the bed with my ear buds in listening to my One Republic tunes when there was a knock on my bedroom door.
"Come in," I called out sitting up and removing my ear buds.
My father opened the door stepping inside the room.
"Trey's here," he said quietly.
His expression was devoid of emotion. He had his stoic judge mask on big time.
"You didn't ask him to come here did you, Dad?"
"Of course not, Tylar, but I do think you should see him. He's come all of this way. You need to have a discussion with him and make some decisions. You've been here almost two weeks now. You owe him that."
I knew that he was right. I looked down at myself dressed in sweat pants and a tee shirt. I was the epitome of frumpiness at the moment. My father read my thoughts.
"I'll see that Trey is made comfortable in the study while you freshen up," he remarked taking leave.
I scrambled off of the bed and located a pair of jeans in the closet. I pulled my UGG boots on; and pulled my new sweater from the shopping bag. It was a dark green angora. I dashed to the bathroom to brush my teeth; I ran a brush through my new shiny dark brown hair. The cut made it bouncy. There I thought looking at my reflection. I was presentable.
Trey was standing near the fireplace when I entered the room; he turned immediately perusing me from head to toe like he was seeing me for the first time.
He looked as gorgeous as ever. Who could blame Ambe
r for wanting him? Who could blame any woman for wanting him? He was in front of me in two quick strides standing before me.
"I want to hug you," he said, "But I'm not sure how you feel about me touching you."
The truth was I wasn't sure how I felt about him touching me. Maybe it was time to find out. I looked up at him and smiled, nodding. He pulled me to him hugging me tightly; his one hand was behind my head, brushing through my newly cut, dyed hair. I felt his lips on my hair kissing it softly. I hugged him back breathing in his familiar scent. I wanted things to be the way they were before more than anything, but I was still too raw.
I moved away from him taking a seat on the sofa. He came and sat beside me, taking one of my hands into his. He was gazing at me quizzically.
"What did you do to your hair?" he asked.
"I don't know. I guess I felt it was time for a new look maybe."
"I liked your old look just fine."
"Trey, you didn't come all this way to discuss my hairstyle I'm sure."
"Tylar," he said with a sigh, "I want you to come home. I want us to work this out. I want to do whatever it takes to get our life back like it was before -"
"Before what, Trey? Before I caught you making out with Amber? Before we lost our baby? How about we go back to before I lost my sense of identity the minute that I fell in love with you?"
"What are you saying, Tylar?"
"I guess I'm saying that I'm not at all sure that I want to go back to the way it was before. It seems to have led us to where we are right now Trey, which is apart."
"That's my fault; I take total blame for us being apart."
"Come on Trey, we both know that it takes two to make a marriage work and two to make it fail."
"Is that how you see this, Tylar? Do you believe that our marriage has failed?"
"I believe that our marriage is in trouble. I'm not sure what to do to fix it, I guess."
Trey stood up and nervously raked a hand through his hair as he walked to the mantle. When he turned around to face me again I could see the pain in his brilliant blue eyes.
"It was a kiss Tylar; it was wrong I know, but please put this into perspective. It was a kiss."
"You might as well have fucked her, Trey. Betrayal is betrayal."
"Are you serious?" he asked incredulously. "You can't possibly put a kiss right up there with intercourse for Chrissake Tylar!"
"I can and I do, Trey. That's how I feel. Besides that, who's to say it would have stopped with a kiss? After all, when you spotted me at the window it kind of killed the mood, didn't it?"
"You saw that I pulled away from her. You can't believe that I would have let it gone any further."
"I can't believe for all the love you have professed for me that you let it go as far as you did. But then again, I give Amber credit. She did give me fair warning I suppose."
The more that I recalled that incident with Amber the angrier I was at myself for not letting Trey know exactly what she had said. I hadn't wanted him to think I was a whiney, insecure wife but in all honesty maybe that was exactly what I was. Maybe that was why Trey was drawn to Amber. She was everything that I was not.
Trey was back beside me on the couch.
"What do you mean?" he asked.
"I mean that after the services for Marley she came up to me with her condolences. She was extremely sincere in extending her sympathy. She even patted my hand telling me that things like that happen for a reason. She said she knew how cliché that sounded, but in my case it would make our divorce easier."
"What the hell are you saying?" Trey yelled.
"She said she had every intention of making you hers."
"No she didn't," he replied, dumbfounded.
"Yeah, okay. I'm a liar, I guess."
"Why didn't you tell me this at the time?"
"Probably because it would have prompted the same response I got just now. I really wasn't worried about what she threatened to do because that was when I still had faith in your faithfulness."
"Tylar," he said with a hint of exasperation in his tone, "How do you expect us to work on our problems when you are in Baton Rouge and I am in Atlanta?"
I stood up now putting a little distance between us because I knew that he was not going to like what I had to say.
"Trey, for right now I'm not up to working on anything other than healing from the pain of losing the baby; and the pain of your infidelity. Call me self-serving or immature or uncooperative, but it's the truth. I just don't have it in me right now to deal with anything other than seeing to my own needs."
"I don't understand what that encompasses," he remarked. "Are you saying that you want a separation?"
"Yes. That is exactly what I am saying."
"I see," he said, standing up and walking closer to me.
Oh God. Please let me be strong. Please give me the strength not to succumb to his demands for once. I was surprised when none were forthcoming.
"How separated do you want to be?" he asked.
"Geographically or otherwise?" I countered.
"Well since you asked - both," he replied tersely.
"I want to stay in Baton Rouge with Dad; Matthew's case is coming up and I want to see what happens with the murder charges."
"What about Preston?" he asked.
"I would like her here with me, Trey."
"When exactly am I supposed to see my daughter?"
"I'm sure we can work something out. I mean the only time that you really have are weekends and well with that case you and Amber have been working on, even your weekends have been fairly tied up."
"That case should be wrapping up in a few weeks. Why don't we play it by ear? Perhaps I can fly down on every other Friday and get a hotel room and keep her with me."
"Trey," I said softly, "Dad's estate is huge you won't need to stay in a hotel suite, unless of course, you want to."
He studied me for a moment.
"I don't want any of this," he replied, "But it appears this is the way that you want it for the time being. You have that right after what I've done."
"Trey, please don't look at this as a punishment for you. I'm in pain here for several reasons. I need this. Has Preston been asking about me?"
"Of course she has, Tylar. Gina's been keeping her. I will fly down with her this weekend. Do you have clothes for her?"
"A few that Gina packed when I came down here. I can buy more unless you plan on cancelling my credit cards. I mean you can if you want. I guess I'm no longer 'earning' my keep with you."
Trey was totally incensed with me at that statement.
He grabbed me by my arm pulling me toward him and tilting my face up to look into his angry blue eyes as he responded.
"What kind of a man do you think that I am? What? I dole out an allowance to you for taking care of my child, my home and my sexual needs? My God, Tylar, marriage is a partnership. I thought that's what we were?"
"So did I Trey. But things have changed, not the least of which most recently when you and Amber made it perfectly clear that you were 'hot' for each other in the family room of our home."
"God damn it, Tylar, you are twisting things about out of proportion. Suffice it to say, I am not cancelling your credit cards. What I have is yours."
"Well just so you know, I am starting to work with the horses here at Dad's. I insisted on earning my keep here. Besides that, it is my passion."
"I thought your family was your passion?" he countered.
"It is," I replied coolly, "Dad is family too, you know."
"So," he continued as if he hadn't heard my response, "What about the "otherwise" portion of our separation?"
"Trey, if you are chomping at the bit to fuck Amber what is stopping you? I mean, you've had almost two weeks to bed her - are you waiting for my permission?"
"I do not want to bed her," he seethed, grasping my hands into a vice-like grip against him.
His eyes were blazing with rage. I didn't understand why. I had j
ust given him permission to take this opportunity during our separation to fuck her or anyone else he so desired. He just wasn't going to be fucking me. Somehow this wasn't sitting well with him.
"I want you to promise me - promise me," he repeated, "That you won’t be sexually involved with anyone else. In return I will do the same."
"What are you so worried about, Trey?"
"I can't fathom the thought of another man touching you."
"Oh, so that's how you roll. I see. Well, here is how it is Trey; we are separated. That means that there are no restrictions. It's kind of like the military, 'Don't ask - don't tell."
I turned from him to exit the room and found myself hauled back by his strong arms. He wrapped his arms around me and crushed me backwards with his strength. His lips found mine as he captured me in a passionate almost violent kiss that left me reeling.
"You are mine," he hissed releasing me.
Our eyes locked with one another's. His look was possessive; mine was defiant. We shall see I thought to myself as I watched him collect himself and head toward the entry hall to exit.
"Preston and I will be here on Friday," he said without looking back.
CHAPTER 7
Edie and I had spent the day getting Preston's nursery ready. We had added a potty chair in my bathroom. I was going to see if she was ready to start toilet training. My father was equally excited about her coming to stay with us.
I had gone shopping to get more clothes for her since it seemed as if she grew in leaps and bounds. I had not seen her for three and a half weeks. I had bought more puzzles and storybooks for her because she loved to be read to and we would make a game of putting the puzzles together each taking turns.
When I heard the bell ring downstairs, I flew down the steps as Margo the new head of staff answered the door.
Trey was standing there with Preston in his arms. She had her thumb in her mouth looking incredibly sweet in her new winter coat with her knit cap and matching mittens.
"Mamma," she squealed seeing me at the bottom of the staircase.
She leaned away from Trey holding her arms out to me. I was right there to take her into my arms, holding her close.