by ANDREA SMITH
"I wish you were coming with me, Dad. I'm frightened of what I might find when I get there."
"That's understandable, darling. I would accompany you if I could but I have an appeal hearing that requires my immediate return to Baton Rouge. I will get up this weekend for sure. You will be fine. You are stronger than you think, Tylar. There will be a limo to take you to the hospital; I've also reserved an apartment for you at a nearby Marriott. Please call me this evening to check in?"
"I will, Dad," I replied, hugging him tightly as I headed out the door to the tarmac. He stayed at the door watching until the small jet had safely taken off.
I had texted Tristan from the plane giving him my ETA at the hospital. He said to text him when I came in through the hospital lobby and he would come down to meet me.
Once there, I did as instructed and Tristan appeared within moments coming off of the elevator and heading down the hallway to greet me.
"How is he?" I asked guardedly.
"He is pretty much the same, Tylar. But for now, that is the best that we can hope for. His vitals remain strong. He is in a coma which is to be expected. The doctors say that comas are the body's way of shutting down overactive brain activity to allow the patient to heal."
"Do they know when he will come out of it?"
"No honey, it is different with everyone. We just have to be patient and vigilant."
I totally intended to be vigilant. I was not going to leave Trey's side until he woke up.
Tristan held the door to the elevator open while I got in ahead of him. He followed behind. It was strange to see him so solemn. I could tell he was trying to be as optimistic as possible for me.
Tristan guided me into Trey's hospital room, his hand on my elbow. The first thing that caught my attention was how gloomy the room was; there was no sunlight filtering in from the outside. The mini blinds were closed shut. This would not do!
I immediately left Tristan's side and went over to the window and twisted the wand so that the blinds opened allowing the golden sunlight to filter into Trey's room.
There. That was much better. It wouldn't do for Trey to wake up to a dark and gloomy tomb. I turned and lowered my eyes to the hospital bed where Trey slept in his deep coma. I studied his beautiful face. It was swollen on one side near the top of his cheekbone. Most of his face was black and blue. Several lacerations that had been stitched with black thread were around his hairline and temples.
He had a white gauze bandage wrapped several times around his head that was about 5" wide. The hair to the left side towards the back of his head had been shaved for the surgery. There was an additional pad cushioning the area where the neurosurgeon had drilled through Trey's skull in order to relieve the pressure of the bleeding.
His right arm was in a cast and sling; his left wrist had been broken and was in a splint. He had suffered three broken ribs as well; one had punctured a lung.
According to Tristan, the doctors were amazed it hadn't been worse. They attributed his lack of bone breakage to his healthy physique. He had 'landed' well as they put it. There was nothing that could have protected his head though.
The surgeon had succeeded in doing what needed to be done. The rest was up to Trey and to God. Even the doctors had made that comment according to Tristan. He said I would meet his surgeon tomorrow when he checked him again.
Tristan was studying me. I could feel his emerald eyes watching me. What was he expecting? Did he think I would melt? Did he think I would dissolve into a million pieces in front of my husband? If that it was he was thinking he didn't have a clue as to how I rolled.
I had read many times that comatose patients retain their hearing to some degree. I had also read that those who had experienced near death experiences and survived spoke of being caught between two worlds and being somewhat cognizant of what was going on around them. I wasn't sure which path Trey was currently exploring, but what I did know was that I had some things to say to him and they were going to be said.
I turned to Tristan.
"I need some time alone with Trey."
Tristan's face was caught between indecision and concern. He finally could find no reason to stay; he turned and left the room, the door closing behind him.
It was just me and Trey now; and the assortment of life preserving equipment that surrounded us. I looked at my husband's battered body and his beauty remained. Nothing could take that from him; that was just Trey.
I kicked my shoes off and tossed my jacket on to one of the chairs in the corner. I gently climbed up next to him on his sterile bed, careful not to disturb any of the IV's, his feeding tube or the multiple monitors attached to him. It was odd for me to be so close to him - close enough to feel his warmth - and yet not have him pulling me closer to him with his strong arms; wrapping himself around me; burying his face into my hair.
I gently put one arm over him so that we were touching. I needed to feel his body, his strong and loving body.
I reached my fingers up to touch his chin dimple; he was in need of a shave. His five o'clock shadow was now at 11:00 p.m. I made a mental note that I would get a shaving kit for him so that I could shave his face tomorrow. His skin was warm to my touch. He didn't seem to feel my touch but then I hadn't figured that he would.
"Trey," I said quietly, but firmly, "Don't you leave me. Do you hear what I am saying to you? If you leave me I will never forgive you, Trey Michael. We’ve got things to do yet. We've got our daughter to raise. She adores you and so do I. What about our unborn children? You are a stickler that Preston not be an 'only' child, remember? Well if you leave, she will be an only child, Trey."
I stopped to watch his face. I needed to see something. The twitch of a muscle; the movement of his eyes beneath his eyelids - something! But there was nothing; the machines were doing all of the work for him right now.
"Then, there is also the matter of how much I love you. Do you think I arbitrarily give my love to just anyone? You know me, Trey. You know me in some ways better than I know myself. You forced me to deal with my fears and my nightmares. You forced me to face the truth about my past and deal with my demons. I did it Trey; I did it because of you. I thank you for that, baby. Now, I want you to do something for me. I need for you to wake up baby. I need for you to come home to me and Preston, please?"
The tears were flowing down my cheeks now. I laid there on my side next to my comatose husband and I waited. I waited for his thumb to reach up and brush my tears away; I waited for his lips to find my tear stains and kiss them away; I waited for his lips then to claim mine as he possessed them with his. It didn't happen. All I saw was my Trey beneath his life-saving equipment. His eyelids didn't flutter; he body didn't respond to my touch.
"I get that you're tired, Trey. I get that you need to heal. You've been through a lot. I will be here with you every day until you are better and ready to come home. I need to see that you're trying to get better, sweetheart. I need to make sure that you don't stop. If you leave me, Trey, I'm just not sure that I could go on without you. Oh - I know that pisses you off to hear me say that. You're hearing it now, and it's the truth - I don't want to live if I have to live without you."
I leaned over and kissed his chin, his nose and his bruised and swollen cheeks.
"I love you Trey, I love you, Trey.”
CHAPTER 26
“I love you, Trey . . . I love you, Trey.”
Dear God! Is that Tylar’s voice? Why is there such an echo to it? Why can’t I see her at the moment? Where in the hell am I? I freaking feel like I’ve stepped through some looking glass into a tunnel – just like that stupid book I had to read in grade school – what the hell was the name of it? Oh yeah – 'Alice in Wonderland'. Rumor had it that the author was tripping on acid when he wrote it. Is that what’s happening to me at the moment?
Can’t be. I don’t do drugs. This has to be a dream; as far as dreams go, it’s fairly pleasant. I need to find my wife in this dream and then it will be even better. She makes everything
better for me. I think about her smile, her sexiness, her scent – all of it is what makes her Tylar, my Tylar. I’m betting she pops into this dream. I just need to go with the flow and catch up to her.
I feel like I’m floating now as this long tunnel is finally opening up to some gigantic ballroom. Up ahead I can see lots of people milling about. Several of them are looking my way and beckoning me to come closer. Everyone sort of looks like they’re floating just like me. I feel enveloped in peace and serenity; this dream is unfolding so differently than all of the ones I’ve had before.
I’m finally at the end of this tunnel and the grand ballroom is magnificent. I am looking around for Tylar in the crowd of people. Suddenly I spot her only she’s different. She looks a little bit younger. She smiles and approaches me with a baby in her arms . . .a very tiny baby – not Preston. Tylar is
wearing a beautiful red sweater dress. It's both familiar and not familiar, if that makes sense. I see that she has fixed her hair a bit differently.
She glides effortlessly over to me, cradling our little bundle of joy next to her.
“Hey baby,” I say to her, “You look great. Where have you been? Whose baby?"
She is quiet as she tilts the baby upward to give me a peek beneath the soft white blanket.
I look down into the little cherub face. It’s Marley! My look of surprise is evident as I look back at Tylar and see her smiling at me with her green eyes twinkling.
Whoa – wait a minute. Tylar’s eyes are tawny brown; I look back at the baby and then at the woman. My God – it’s Marla!
“Marla?” I hear my voice but I don’t recognize it. It has a melodic quality to it that is not familiar to me.
“Yes, Trey, it’s Marla,” she answers in a sweet and melodic voice of her own. “I’m watching over Marley for you and Tylar. She is quite exquisite, isn’t she?”
My eyes drop to my baby daughter - the one that I had never known. She is beautiful. Her eyes flutter open. I had never seen them because she was 'born silent.' That is how the hospital staff had put it. It sounded so much better than 'stillborn.'
Her eyes are tawny brown; just like Tylar's. She smiles up at me displaying a dimple just like mine. I am filled with love for this child but happiness as well. It is a very strange emotion that I am feeling. I am not familiar with it.
"Her eyes," I comment, Marla interrupts.
"Those are the eyes of Preston Tylar," she finishes for me. "They are the most beautiful shade of brown I've ever seen. My Tylar has those eyes; my beautiful Tylar Jamie."
I lower my face to my daughter's and brush a kiss across her soft, baby skin. She grins up at me and I feel as if I will burst with pride and with joy.
"Can I hold her?"
Marla continues to smile down at Marley. She clearly has taken to being a grandmother even though she looks like a teenager.
"I thank you so much for caring for her, Marla, but I really think I need to take her now; I have to take her home to Tylar. She will be so happy to have Marley home with us. Preston will be excited to see her sissy. Our family will be just as we planned it."
Marla doesn't answer me. She continues to cuddle the baby as if she hasn't heard a word that I've said. I certainly do not want to have mother-in-law problems in this otherwise perfect dream, but being Marley's father supersedes her as grandmother. I need to take our baby girl home.
"Marla, I'm sorry, but I really must insist you hand my daughter over to me so that we can get home."
I reach for the baby but my hands seem to go right through her as if she is nothing more than an image. What the hell? I look at Marla and she is slowly fading; the image of her and Marley are fading from my view as are the rest of the people in the grand ballroom. I must be awakening from this very strange but very calming dream. I don't want to wake up until I can bring our baby home. I don't want Tylar sad anymore about not having Marley with us.
I am startled by the tunnel voices again. It is Tylar and Tristan. They seem to be arguing. It is unusual for Tristan to be arguing with anyone - other than me I think to myself chuckling. I can hear their conversation but it's puzzling to me. I need to wake up and find out what the fuck is going on!
___________________________________________________
I was jostled awake where I had been sleeping in a hospital chair that doubled as a lazy boy. It was Tristan. The open blinds revealed that it was dark out now.
"What time is it?"
"It's late, Tylar. It's time for you to go back to your hotel and get something to eat and go to bed. I'll stay here tonight with Trey."
"No," I argued, "I am not leaving here until Trey wakes up."
"Tylar," his voice was now taking on the same strict tone that Trey's did when he meant business, "You are not staying here around the clock. Trey would not want that; as his brother, I intend to carry out his wishes while he is temporarily incapacitated. End of discussion."
"Tristan - please? I need to be here with him."
"We will take shifts. Right now this is my shift. I had dinner already and I am relieving you. Your limo is outside waiting. I will see you in the morning, Tylar."
I reluctantly took my leave when I realized that Tristan was not going to budge. I went over and kissed Trey several times. I assured him that I would be back in the morning.
As promised the limo was waiting outside for me. I was driven the short distance to my hotel where I showered and collapsed into bed exhausted. I wanted morning to come quickly so that I could be with Trey again.
CHAPTER 27
The days ahead were more of the same; Tristan and I took shifts staying in Trey's hospital room. Watching and waiting for some miraculous change in his condition, but there was none. His doctors were still 'guardedly' optimistic about his recovery.
My father arrived in Nashville on Saturday afternoon as promised. He had brought Preston with him. Trey had been moved to a step-down unit that morning. Tristan had flown back to Atlanta the night before to spend time with Gina and Reese. His parents were still there helping out.
Now that Trey was in a regular room, the hospital permitted more family to be present. Preston was allowed to be in the room with me during visiting hours. I hadn't seen her since the night before Trey and I had left for our cruise nearly two weeks prior.
Seeing my father carry her into Trey's room brought a rush of emotion to me. She was dressed in the beautiful coat and hat that Susan and Clive had given her for Christmas last year.
"Mommie," she squealed, reaching for me. I was on my feet taking her from Dad and settling her down on the sofa that doubled as a pull-out bed in the hospital room.
"Hi, baby girl," I cooed to her, taking off her hat and coat, and giving her a visual inspection. I hugged her closely to me.
"Mommy missed you, Preston. Have you been a good girl for Aunt Gina and Grandma?"
"Un huh," she said, shaking her head up and down. Her big blue eyes were taking in all of the monitors and gadgets in the room. She immediately spotted Trey, her little arm outstretched, her finger pointing over to him.
"Daddy seeping?"
"Yes, honey," I answered, "Daddy is resting so that he can get all better."
I looked over at my father. What should I tell her?
He immediately came over and reached for her to take her.
"Let me show you something, Preston," he said, lifting her into his arms. He carried her over closer to Trey's bed.
"You remember what I explained to you on the plane this morning about sometimes people have accidents and get boo-boos?"
She was watching my father intently nodding her head up and down, her little index finger in her mouth.
"Remember how I told you that hospitals are places that help people that have been hurt get all better?"
"Uh huh. Daddy got boo-boos?"
"Yes, honey, he does. But they are getting better. I'm sure your daddy would like it very much if you gave him a kiss. Do you want Grandpa to lower you down so you can give
Daddy a kiss on his cheek?"
"Un unh," she said, shaking her head 'no.'
My father looked over at me clearly distressed. It was apparent that Preston was a bit apprehensive about seeing Trey in his present condition.
"Tylar," he said, "This is probably a bit difficult for her to comprehend."
"I know, Dad. Let's not push it. I'd like to spend some time with her. Will you stay with Trey?"
"Of course, I will."
"Come on, Preston," I said taking her. "Do you want to go and have some ice cream with Mommy?"
I took her to the cafeteria and we had ice cream together. She chatted away about Reese in her own little 'baby' language. It suddenly dawned on me that Preston was 19 months old this very day. She was growing up so fast. I didn't want Trey to miss any of it.
Dad stayed with Trey while I took Preston back to the hotel and we napped together. I made dinner for her and then showered and changed my clothes. We headed back to the hospital so that I could relieve Dad.
There was a nurse in the room talking to Dad when we got there and someone else in a suit was with them. They had Trey's chart in front of them reviewing it.
"Tylar, can I see you in the hall for a moment?"
"Sure, Dad."
We stepped out in the hallway. Dad immediately took Preston from me.
"Sweetheart, I hope you don't think I am stepping on your toes but it grieves me to see the way you spend 24/7 here at this hospital, hundreds of miles away from your family - your support system. I enlisted the help of Trey's nurse to contact someone from hospital administration to see if Trey could safely be transported back to a hospital in the Atlanta area to convalesce. They can transport him on Tuesday and have referred him to a neurologist in Atlanta."
"Oh, Dad - thank you! I didn't even think about making that inquiry. I seem to be taking things hour by hour these days."
"That's only natural, Tylar. That's all you had to work with for the first few days you were here but he is stabilized so his physical therapy can be administered just as easily in Atlanta."