He didn’t answer, he just moved closer. She looked up at him again and then looked back at her screen. Her proximity alarms were going off. He had breached her perimeter and there was nowhere to go. He leant down and moved his hand across under her breasts as he kissed her cheek. She was frozen. She had no idea where this had come from. They’d worked in the same organisation for more than nine months when he’d transferred from another branch and there was never a hint from him that this was something he wanted to do to her. She looked at him as he stood up straight and smiled at her.
She looked back at her screen. “So, um, are those files for me?”
He put his hand on the back of the chair and turned it towards himself. She looked at his shoes and his hands came into view. They were headed for her arms and then they were on her forearms pulling her to her feet. She was up and against him and his arms were around her back. She couldn’t look at his face. She knew what was coming. This was a perfect time to raise her knee to his groin and if she wasn’t in so much shock it probably would have happened already. His hands moved from her back to her face and tilted her head back. If she looked up and met his eyes he would kiss her.
“What are you doing?” she whispered, looking at his chin. She saw it move as it curved into a smile. She looked into his eyes. She knew exactly what he was doing. He pressed his lips to hers and kissed her. As she opened her mouth to ask again, his lips were on hers again and his tongue plunged deep into her mouth. She opened her eyes wide and then closed them. The part of her that wanted to resist was overtaken by the desperate need to be kissed the way he was kissing her. She remembered being kissed like this. She moved her hands to his hands and down his forearms and up his upper arms and around his neck. He moved his hands to her back and then to her waist and then onto her bottom. It had been so long since she had been kissed like this, it was impossible not to enjoy it. And it was enjoyable. He was an incredible kisser. His tongue seemed to be stroking hers like it was petting a cat and their teeth hadn’t collided once.
She opened her eyes again, realising he wasn’t who she wanted him to be. She knew where she was and who she was with now, and it made her feel sick. She put her hands on the front of his shoulders and pushed back from him. She sat down in the chair again, turned it back to the table and pulled it in as far as it would go.
“So, I guess those files are for me?” she asked, looking at her screen.
“No, they’re not,” he replied. He walked around to the other side of the desk and picked them up. He walked to the door and stopped. She knew he was looking at her but she couldn’t look at him. She typed ‘the quick brown fox jumped…’ and he opened the door. Until the door was closed she wasn’t going to look up. There was a hesitation and then the door closed. She looked towards the door and clasped her hands together. She bit her pointer finger as it was the first available and wondered what the hell had just happened.
After a few minutes of having no idea what had just happened, she picked up her handbag and walked out of her office and then out the main doors to the elevator area. There was one elevator on either side of the corridor and she always liked to guess which one it was going to be. She faced the one she thought it was going to be and waited. When the light came on she smiled. ‘Right again’. She stepped into the elevator and was surprised that Ryan was already in there, pressed up in the corner closest to the door. The doors closed and he pulled her close by the waistband of her pants. His tongue went into her mouth again and she barely reciprocated, keeping her hands down by her sides and her eyes open. It was a completely different experience than when her eyes were closed. When the elevator announced ‘ground floor’ he released her and smiled. She stepped out of the elevator and walked away with no idea what was going on with him.
She went to the nearest café and ordered a takeaway coffee. She didn’t feel hungry, she felt sick. She didn’t understand why she let him kiss her. Why didn’t she go with her initial instinct to knee him in the groin? Why was it so easy to close her eyes and pretend he was the man of her dreams? He was a good kisser, okay, but he wasn’t someone she wanted to pursue a relationship with. There had to be a way out of this. She took out her phone and composed a text message to Adrian. Tears came to her eyes and she deleted the text. She pressed the button to call him and quickly hit end. She’d done this on almost a daily basis for the last two months. He wasn’t coming back. Adrian couldn’t be her friend. She hoped that she would at least bump into him somewhere and say ‘hi’ but she never saw him anywhere. She took a deep breath and deleted his contact details. It was too frustrating to start and then have to delete them. Crying in a café was not cool. She had two people’s pictures to admire now, and she wanted to feel happy looking at them but all it did lately was make her feel sorry for herself. She loved them and they didn’t want to be with her. Maybe Ryan was all she had. Maybe just kissing Ryan would help her feel close to people who used to care about her. It was a depressing thought.
Chapter 29
Verity was walking around the city in a daze. She didn’t want to have lunch in the lunch room or anywhere in the office if she could help it. For months she was taking her lunch at different times to avoid being cornered. She had told him she couldn’t meet up with him every time he asked. She had told him she didn’t want to pursue this any further. She told him she just wanted to be friends, but he was insistent they’d gone beyond it. She felt like it had ruined how she felt about him. She had liked him and found him witty and interesting, now she just wanted to avoid him. He hardly wanted to talk anymore, just kiss. His kisses were lovely but she didn’t feel comfortable around him, and he seemed quite possessive. She received a text message asking where she was but had no idea who it was from. She replied that they had the wrong number. They replied and she felt sick. “Shit, he has my number. How does he have my number?” Verity didn’t respond to the message.
She looked at the pub ahead of her and wondered if they offered free water. She pushed open the door and saw people drinking and playing on the pool tables, and was surprised at the number of people having alcohol at lunch time. It was the city and there were a number of stressful jobs in the city she supposed. She wasn’t entirely sure which pub she was in, but it looked clean and full of people in suits. She walked to the bar and asked for a drink of water. They poured her one and she sat on a bar stool. She was surprised when someone stood so close to her that their stomach was touching her back. She had no idea who it was going to be and why they were standing so close. She swivelled the chair around slowly. ‘Oh shit.’ “Hi, Ryan.”
“Hi. What are you doing?”
“Just having a glass of water,” Verity said, turning back to the bar. He was still standing right behind her, touching her.
“Do you want to talk about it?”
“Talk about what?”
Ryan put his hand on her shoulder, “Your issues. Things aren’t going so well with your relationships. I’m a good listener.”
“I appreciate the fact that there is a lot of gossip going around the office, but what’s going on in my relationships isn’t anyone’s business but mine.”
“Why are you being like this to me? I care about you, and I have since you started working here a long time ago. We used to talk all the time and now you’re being cold. Why?”
“Probably because you keep kissing me,” Verity said, sipping her water.
“You kissed me back. Every single time, you have kissed me back. You obviously wanted to kiss me. How about it? How about you and me really getting to know each other and spending time together?”
“I think that this is a lust thing, and it’s sweet that you find me attractive, but I’m not interested in a relationship with you.”
“Why lie to yourself, Kate? You want this. I know from your kisses. I’ve seen the way you look at me in the office and how you always make excuses to talk to me. I’ve been seeing it for months maybe a year, but being a man I’m thick and it only just sunk in. I
want to get to know you. I think this could work out. I think we should spend some time alone together.”
“No, I can’t. I’m busy.”
“You’re not even going to look at me when I’m talking to you?”
Verity sighed and turned her chair around again. She looked at Ryan, and had trouble maintaining eye contact. He made her nervous. “I’m sorry. That was rude of me. I’m already in a relationship and I don’t need any more complications in my life.”
“Just give it a try. You can call me any time of the day or night. You have my number.”
Verity nodded and turned back around to face the bar. Her phone indicated a text message. She took her phone out and saw that it was from Ryan: I miss you already. “What?” She turned around and he wasn’t in the bar. Verity didn’t know what to do. She had to make it clear that she didn’t want this. She thought she had over the last few months since the first time, but that only lasted a week at the most. She sent him a message back saying that she wanted him to stop pursuing her. Please.
She finished the water and walked out of the bar. He was probably on the street somewhere. She would just have to go back to the office and do her best to avoid him. He worked in a different section to her and it shouldn’t be hard, but it was. She walked back towards the office feeling hungry. It was too late. She’d have to wait until dinner.
The first stop that Verity made inside her office building was Jason Arturo’s office. “Hi, Mr Arturo, can I talk to you, please?”
“Sure, why not. Shut the door. Call me Jason too.”
Verity shut the door and sat down, “Great, thank you, I need to leave this workplace.”
“Why, Verity?”
“Why? Um, because I do. So, if there is another branch you want to put me in or something then I’m happy to take it, even at a lower grade, otherwise I’ll tender my resignation today and be gone in two weeks.”
“No, no, I don’t want you to leave. Your skills are definitely needed in the organisation. Atom Trust is trying to go through some growth and I know your talents are being wasted, I get it. I’ll ask at our office downtown. Are you sure you don’t want to stay here? I can see if I can find you something here.”
“No, I don’t want to be in this building. If you can get a swap with someone in the downtown branch who also wants a change, that’d be great.”
Jason leaned his chair back and folded his arms on top of his large abdomen. “I’ll see what I can do, Kate. You’ve never come to ask me for anything before. Not time off, not an early mark, not money for a sick dog, nothing. I’m happy you came to me, and I will do my best to help you out.”
“Thank you,” Verity said, standing up.
“Oh, before you go, do you know anything about marketing?”
“Some,” Verity said.
Jason turned towards his computer, “Okay, if I email you some metrics can you interpret them for me and tell me what the hell they’re trying to say?”
Verity smiled, “Sure, I can do that. By email I could even do that from downtown.”
Jason turned to her and smiled, “You can. That’s true. A little backscratching can go a long way.”
“I don’t want anything that I’m not entitled to, Jason, I just want to leave this building as soon as I can without becoming unemployed.”
“I totally understand. I’m on it. You get on the metrics. Forget whatever else you were doing and just give me something before C O B today.”
“No problem,” Verity said. She left Jason’s office feeling hopeful. He was still not fully competent to do his job, but while he was in charge and needed her help, this could be the break she needed.
She checked her emails for Jason’s email and opened the attached the report. This was simple data regarding supply and demand. She wasn’t sure why he didn’t understand it. Verity thought about Jake’s advice to do something better with her life. He had got her another assistant job but it didn’t work out. He recommended her for another job, and now she was here, but it wasn’t what he expected her to be doing. He had hoped she would have Jason’s position within a few months, and yet she was still on the third level down from that. He of course expressed his disappointment and Verity had to remind him not to be disappointed on her behalf because she could handle her own disappointment. He had tried to be a friend to her, and their second-monthly dinners were entertaining if nothing else. She looked at Jason’s email again. He should know this. It was basic. Verity could definitely do his job.
Chapter 30
The flowers in the surrounding gardens were spectacular. The vibrant yellows and pinks and oranges amidst the vast shades of green were breathtaking. Verity inhaled their perfume as she continued up the stone pathway towards the tea rooms. She’d never been to the gardens here before and wondered why. She’d definitely be coming again even just to admire the garden if the high tea wasn’t all it was cracked up to be.
She was shown to a table and sat down to wait for her host to arrive. It wasn’t very long to wait, and when she saw Casey coming she stood up and waved. She felt happy to see Casey. She was motherly and funny and she didn’t give a shit about people’s opinions. Verity stepped out from behind the table and put her arms out. “It’s been too long.”
“It’s been crazy. I’ve had children and grandchildren in and out and all over the place. Holidays interstate and overseas, too. We have so much to catch up on.”
Verity smiled and sat down, “You look wonderful.”
“I feel wonderful. I’ve lost weight and changed my hair. You on the other hand, look not so hot. How are you? What are you doing for work now? I’m still at the bank, John isn’t. Neither is Jana, Les, Brad, Anna or Kenta. I’m the most senior person around, and I have John’s job so of course I got a pay raise.”
“I’m really happy for you, Casey. You did a wonderful job, and I’m sure you’re a terrific bank manager. I haven’t bumped into Brad, which I’m happy about,” Verity said, “I don’t even want to tell you how horrible he was to me in private.”
“I have the scoop on Brad. He’s getting married.”
“He’s getting married? Oh, that poor girl.”
“Screw her, it’s Jana. He knocked her up and her father is a bouncer so there was no way out.”
“Really? They’re having a baby together?”
“I wonder if it’s actually his,” Casey said, “Brad left the bank first. I don’t know where he went but Jana showed us her engagement ring and pictures from her engagement party and it was definitely him. She’s gone on maternity leave now. She looked like a seahorse when she was pregnant. She was practically starving herself and still smoking a pack a day. I feel sorry for the baby to have either of those superficial douchebags as parents.”
Verity laughed. “Oh well. They say there’s someone for everyone. He was probably in prison.” She knew that’s exactly where he was but he didn’t get long enough in her opinion.
“Has your missing love turned up yet?”
Verity put her head down and shook her head. She wished he would. She wished she could look up from the white linen tablecloth right now and see him walking through the door. It wasn’t going to happen. “No, no luck there.”
“Sorry, darl. I didn’t mean to upset you.”
Verity looked across the table and smiled weakly. “It’s fine, Casey. I just compare every man I meet to him and he was the only person I’ve met that really fit me. It’s so hard to love someone so much when you haven’t seen them in years. I lie to myself all the time. I tell myself he’s overseas fighting for his country or he’s in a remote village helping with humanitarian efforts and maybe I’ll see him on the news one day. I look at his picture every night. I have lots of pictures to choose from, but there’s one from the last day that we were together. It’s a picture of us in the stairway at the dorm, and it was taken about an hour before the last time we saw each other. I haven’t seen him since. I talk to his pictures every day. I cry sometimes, thinking he’s dead. I
cry sometimes because I’ve slept with other men. I cry sometimes, feeling like my life is never going to be complete without him. Like I’m crying now.” Verity put her hands to her eyes and wiped them down her cheeks. “I miss him so much.”
Casey put her hand across the table to hold Verity’s hand. “I think he’ll come back, Verity. I think he’ll come back and there’ll be a really good reason and you’ll fall in love all over again.”
“Now that we’ve been apart longer as long as we were together, I don’t know. He’s probably got someone else. But I can’t do it anymore. I don’t want to date anyone else. I’m happy to just be an old maid. I can’t keep looking for something that might not exist.”
“I thought you went out to his hometown and talked to his dad.”
“I did,” Verity said, “But no one has called me. They would have seen my name in the visitor’s book and they had my number and my address, and I’ve got nothing.”
Casey looked at the tiered tray as it arrived covered in afternoon snacks, “Verity, you’re a beautiful young woman. I told you that at the markets, I told you that at the nightclub, I told you that at the strip club, I told you that at the beach, I even told you that at bingo. I think you should have fun, and be happy, and enjoy the company of other people. Whether he comes back into your life or not is irrelevant. You’re not living your life anyway, you’re just existing.”
“I was falling for someone else, Casey. I was crazy about him and I didn’t know how to handle it, and neither did he. I didn’t mean to fall in love with him, but he’s an amazing man, you have no idea. We were friends, and we had a wonderful sex life together too, but it got to a point where we couldn’t be sure of what was happening between us. I have this awful thing now where I think about both of them. It doesn’t make sense. I’ve been pining desperately to be with my first love, but I also miss my second one. It’s not that I can’t cope on my own or anything, but other men always manage to take advantage of me. These two men have never done that, never. Adrian would rather die than hurt me, and so many times I went to message him or call him about something stupid and I can’t because I don’t want to confuse him or hurt him. I’m stuck. I have a few other male and female friends, but everyone is busy living and I don’t want to burden them. And to top it off, I told you about the man at work that just won’t take no for an answer. He seems determined that we can be together and I find myself saying yes to him without knowing why.”
Running Rings Page 24