Hands came under her armpits and pulled her to her feet. She was being turned around and his lips were on hers. She continued to cry as he kissed her and she put her hands to the back of his head into his hair. It was really him. She grabbed his collar and pressed herself hard against him and he held her close. It felt so right, it had to be a dream. There was so much hunger and anger in their kiss, and yet it was familiar and loving. He stopped kissing her mouth and kissed both her eyelids then her cheeks. “I love you, Verity.” He adjusted his collar and slammed the door back hard as he left.
Verity put her hand over her mouth then squeezed her nostrils with her forefinger and thumb. She wiped her hand across under her nose, still looking at the door. He wasn’t coming back. That was it. She never thought she’d see him again and there he was, and now he was gone again. She turned around and looked in the mirror. Her lips looked swollen from their kiss and it made her smile. She thought she should wash her face, but how could she when it was the last place his lips had touched? She shook her head. No. It was over a long time ago. Her smile became a tight pucker and a line appeared in the middle of her forehead. “Don’t go.”
She shook her head. He was already gone. After all the years of wanting him, he was there and now he was gone again. She turned the faucet on fast and washed her hands. She splashed the cold water onto her face and looked up at her wet face in the mirror. It was really him. She took a deep breath and splashed water on her face again. He was okay. She splashed water on her face again. He said he loved her. Verity looked at the reflection of the door in the mirror. She didn’t understand why he said he loved her when he clearly didn’t. If he loved her then why didn’t he stay in touch? If he loved her then why didn’t he come to their graduation? If he loved her then why weren’t they together? If he loved her then why was he with Marian?
Chapter 37
There had been tears of relief that he was okay, and tears of sadness that he was okay but hadn’t been with her. If it wasn’t for Adrian over the last two weeks, she might not have wanted to get out of bed. It was hard to look at Marian when they were at work. Verity wished she didn’t like Marian. It was hard to think know that Marian had kissed him and had sex with him and he loved her. This wasn’t Marian’s fault, but it was a barrier to their friendship. She didn’t know whether she was coming across as distant or over-the-top fake but she knew there’d been a shift in how she was reacting around Marian since her first day, and hoped that Marian had noticed.
“Do you want to come out with me tonight?”
Verity was surprised by the question, “Um, to do what? I had planned to watch a movie.”
“It’s Friday night,” Marian replied, “I’m going to a bar in the city to see a live band.”
“With your boyfriend?” Verity asked. She figured she may as well put it out there.
“No, he’s working late. He might catch up with me around ten if he isn’t too tired,” Marian replied, “I’m going with some women I know from my last job, and two people from here. It’s just going to be us girls. Most of them are single. I don’t know if you are or not, but there’s a lot of business-type men there.”
Verity gave a little laugh, “I’m surrounded by business-type men all day.”
“We’re going to the Blue Bar, at six thirty. They have counter meals and things, so we can have dinner too. It’s just a thought.”
“Okay, I’ll think about it,” Verity said.
Marian folded her arms, “Did I mention it’s my birthday?”
Verity smiled, “No, you didn’t. Happy Birthday. Okay, I’ll come.”
Marian thanked her and said she could hardly wait for five o’clock to roll around so she could go home and get ready for it. Verity had agreed to go so she had to go. The question was how to handle it? Should she dress in an amazing outfit with hair and make-up done and confidently greet him? Should she ignore his existence? Should she tell Marian up front? Verity looked at her watch. She had four hours until five o’clock, which meant five and a half hours until six thirty, but he wasn’t going to be there until ten. And that was only if he wasn’t too tired. She tilted her head and wondered why he was working so late and what he did for a job now.
“What does your boyfriend do for a living?” Verity asked.
“He’s a hospital social worker,” Marian said.
Verity was perplexed, “Oh. For some reason I thought he worked in finance.”
“He does, he works as an accountant and he’s got a social work degree too.”
“Wow, that’s really great. They’re worlds apart, aren’t they?”
Marian sighed, “Yeah, well something bad happened to him. He had a broken heart, but he wanted to try and make the most of his life. He is the most amazing man I’ve ever known. He came from a little town to the big city, and he’s been so brave. His dad had a stroke and couldn’t work anymore. He works really hard and sends money so his dad can get care. His dad is too young for a pension and for some reason the government won’t help.”
Verity could feel the tears forming. She wanted to help Vince Vale too. She wanted to send money and be part of their family and talk about their little town. “Sorry, excuse me for a minute.” She walked into her office and closed the door. She really liked Marian. She was smart and sweet. Marian. She closed her eyes. Maybe Vince didn’t say ‘marry him’, maybe he said ‘Marian’ because that’s who he was with now. Verity sobbed into her hands. She should just let him go. It was just over, that’s all. Over. He didn’t love her any more. But he said he did. She needed to hear why he didn’t come back for their graduation and be with her, and then she needed to let him go.
She looked at her phone on the desk, and opened the text messages from Adrian. He had said two weeks ago to speak to him and find out where he’d been and what he’d been doing and if they had a future together. It sounded simple, but part of her didn’t want to know.
There was a knock on her door and it opened, “I have a warrant to search this office.”
Verity looked up and smiled, “I was just thinking about you and reading your texts. What are you doing here?”
“I wasn’t expecting to see you upset. I guess I should have been after the fortnight you’ve had,” he replied. A tissue came to her face, “Blow.”
She blew her nose and took the tissue from him. “Thanks, Adrian. I’m pleasantly surprised to see you. I don’t think you’ve ever visited me at work before.”
“No, I haven’t but I was feeling stressed and thought that you were exactly the person I needed to see and take to lunch.”
Verity tilted her head, “You mean an actual meal in a food establishment of some kind? Are you trying to take me on a date?”
Adrian laughed, “No, not at all. We’re not dating. It’s out of the question. Do I want to know what you’re crying about, or shall I assume it has something to do with Mr Perfect?”
“Assume all you want. I’m buying you lunch, let’s go.” Verity picked up her handbag and moved around her desk.
Adrian grabbed the front of her shirt and pulled her close. He looked into her eyes and raised an eyebrow. “Hmm.”
“Hmm, what?”
Adrian kissed her on the lips. “Hmm, you’re beautiful despite the fact that you’ve had puffy eyes for weeks now. You wanted to find him. You found him. What are you doing about it?”
“Nothing. I’m doing nothing about it. You and I are going to lunch now, unless you’d rather have sex on my desk.”
Adrian looked at the desk and smiled, “It looks stable.”
“Get out or you’ll get me fired, you sexy man, out,” Verity said, smacking his bottom.
“Okay, my dining table tonight at eleven then. You’ve got me thinking about sex on a table, so it’s your fault.”
“I will absolutely take full responsibility for that dirty thought, and I will see it through on your dining table at eleven. When I arrive, I expect you to be wearing nothing but an elephant g-string and a smile.”
“Sold,” Adrian replied, “Let’s go get a burger.”
Verity laughed and walked out of her office holding Adrian’s hand. She rubbed the back of his hand with her other hand and wanted to kiss him. She was glad he arrived when he did otherwise she’d be still crying.
“Are you going to lunch?”
Verity looked up, “Yes, Marian. I’ll be just across the road and I should be back in an hour.”
“He can come to drinks tonight if you want,” Marian replied, “Your boyfriend, you can bring your boyfriend.”
“Unfortunately he has to work, otherwise I would,” Verity replied.
Adrian squeezed Verity’s hand and waited until they were in the elevator before he spoke. “Am I your boyfriend?”
With a sigh, Verity explained that Marian was Mr Perfect’s girlfriend and they were going out for drinks and maybe dinner tonight to celebrate Marian’s birthday.
“Is he going to be there?” Adrian asked.
“No, not until ten, and I’ll be leaving before ten to go home and change then be on your dining table by eleven.”
“You really think you’re getting used to this idea of not being with him? Do you think you can let him go?”
“I don’t think I have a choice. I don’t know why he kissed me and told me he loved me two weeks ago.”
“You don’t know why because you didn’t ask him. Next time you see him, you need to have a conversation with him. You need to find out from him what happened so you can move on.”
“I know,” Verity said, kissing Adrian on the lips, “I know.”
“Okay, as long as you know. You could stay there tonight and wait to see him.”
“I’m not going to ruin Marian’s birthday. She’s lovely. I know why they’re together, and I’m sure they’re very happy. I don’t want to ruin that. I can’t imagine how bad he must feel for kissing me. Maybe he doesn’t feel bad about it. I don’t know if he wants to break up with her and be with me, I don’t know anything. At the moment I don’t care. I just want to go to lunch with you, and talk about your stress.”
Adrian nodded and they remained hand in hand as they walked out of the building and across the road to a café. Adrian pulled out her chair and sat down next to her. They ordered burgers and drinks and Adrian sighed.
“Lay it on me, big boy.”
Adrian nodded, “I had a call last night from my best friend.”
“I didn’t call you last night.”
“Funny girl. My best male friend who isn’t my cousin, his name is Nick. He called me in tears last night.”
“Was he okay? I didn’t know men called each other and cried.”
“I’d never heard him cry before. It was really distressing for me too. I had to talk him down off a balcony.”
“Oh my god,” Verity said, putting her hand on Adrian’s, “That’s horrible.”
“He had a vasectomy yesterday.”
“They’re reversible.”
“I told him that, but that’s not why he wanted to die. He wanted to die because he’s in love with someone that he can’t be with.” Adrian looked at Verity’s face and searched her eyes.
Verity shook her head, “I’m not suicidal.”
“I’m glad to hear that,” Adrian said, “But why are you letting this go on? You saw him. He kissed you and told you he loved you. Are you going to be with him or not?”
“I don’t know. I have to find out what he wants to do,” Verity said, pouring water from the bottle into the empty glass, “He’s just how I remember him, but with a different hairstyle. I don’t know if he’s the same, but apart from the anger in our kiss it felt the same.”
Adrian poured some water and sighed, “Nick is a good guy, and he’s an amazing lawyer. He was your Prosecutor actually.”
“Shit,” Verity said, putting her hand to her mouth, “Shit. He seemed so together. I can’t imagine him being suicidal. He’s pretty young to have a vasectomy too.”
“He’s got six sons already, and he’s paranoid she’ll try to take him for a seventh. His wife is a nightmare. They don’t even live together any more, but he booked the vasectomy in already so he went for it. I wish I had the big family that he has. They’re all really close and his sons are great boys. I’ve played with them in the park and I get to be their uncle. They obviously bring him a lot of happiness. That’s why I’m so concerned hearing how distraught he was over a woman. It scares me, Verity. He has so much good in his life and so much to look forward to and he loves his brother like you wouldn’t believe, but he was on that hospital balcony ready to end it all.”
“Over a woman? She must be a very special woman to him. What’s the problem?”
“He can’t be with her. Not because he’s married but for another reason, and the thought of not being with her hurts him on a primary level. It hurts him so much he thought dying was a better option than seeing her with someone else. I know I’ve been preparing myself for years for this to happen to me, but I don’t want to be him, Verity.”
Verity sucked in air, “No, Adrian, we had this conversation. In fact, we had this conversation more than once. I’m not abandoning you. Everything will work out however it’s meant to work out.”
“Yeah, yeah, I know that. I was just freaking out that if it could happen to him then it could happen to anybody.”
Verity rubbed Adrian’s hand. “If he really wanted to die then he wouldn’t have called you. He needed a voice of reason, and that’s what you are, Adrian. If you lose your shit then what possible hope could the rest of us have?”
Adrian laughed and kissed Verity’s hand as the burgers arrived on the table. “True. I wish I hadn’t wasted all those months that I could have been with you. I’m an idiot.”
“You’re not an idiot, Dray. I think you’re the most amazing person I’ve ever met in my life and if things were different then I would spend the rest of my life with you loving every inch of your amazing being.”
“Am I ever going to meet someone who feels about me the way you do?”
“Of course you are. You’ve already met lots of people who think you’re amazing. You need to find someone who you can love and who can make all your dreams come true.”
“I thought I did. I’ve never felt like this about anyone before. I’m pretty old to have fallen in love for the first time.”
“Now you know what you want, and maybe you’re ready to move into a relationship.”
“I want to be with you. I know I can’t but I want it, a lot. I can’t fall out of love with you. If I’m so amazing then what’s Mr Perfect?”
“Extremely ordinary,” Verity said, “That’s why he’s perfect for me.”
“But I think you’re extraordinary.”
“Exactly,” Verity said with a nod, “So maybe the perfect woman for you is someone who is very ordinary. Someone who is an awe of you and worships you the way you should be worshipped, and gives you everything you actually need.”
Adrian sighed and rubbed her upper arm, “Give me something to hold onto, Butterfly.”
“I will love you forever. I will be available to have phone calls and texts, whatever you need, forever. I want to make it as painless as possible for you.”
Adrian smiled and wiped the sauce from near her top lip. He put his finger in his mouth and winked at her.
“You fill up my senses, like a night in a forest…”
Verity turned towards the door and looked at the man who was singing and playing guitar. She couldn’t help but smile. He walked through the café still singing and playing. He did a lap of the café and stopped near her table until he finished the song.
“Come love me again.”
She smiled at him and he smiled back. He walked out of the café and Verity turned to watch him. He turned around and smiled at her then disappeared.
“That was quite nice,” Adrian said, “I like Annie’s Song.”
“That was Mr Perfect,” Verity said, picking up her drink.
“What? The wandering minstrel that was just in here? Really? That’s him?” Adrian asked looking towards the door.
Verity nodded, “Yes, he learned to play the guitar when he was six.”
“Why don’t you go talk to him?”
“Nah,” Verity said, “I’m talking to you.”
Adrian laughed and shook his head, “You’re crazy. You’ve talked about him for all the time I’ve known you, and probably for the whole year before that since you’d seen him. You’ve been desperate to know where he’s been and what he’s been doing, and now you don’t want to talk to him. I don’t get it, babe.”
Verity sighed, “I miss you already, Adrian.”
“Yeah, well, until he has another ring or two on your finger, you’re still partly mine.”
Chapter 38
Verity sat at the table listening to the band. The women were all fun and nice. The music was loud and the thuds were going through her body. She was tempted to dance but that seemed weird with a live band. She wasn’t sure if the music was that good or it’s because she was on her second ‘Slippery Nipple’ after the beers. She looked at her watch. Shit. It was five to ten. Marian’s boyfriend would be there soon and he was the last person she needed to see. Feeling like she did right now she would find herself either dry humping him on the dance floor or slapping his face. She concluded this would not be a good impression to leave with her new friends, or the birthday girl and her boyfriend.
“I’d better go,” Verity said.
“What?” Marian replied, putting her hand next to her ear.
Verity leaned in closer, “I should go, it’s getting late.”
“You still want to watch a movie before bed? Isn’t this fun?” Marian replied.
Verity nodded. It was fun, but she didn’t want something awkward to happen. Marian was nice and she didn’t want to upset her. “I have to go, sorry. I have to go see someone.”
“Alright, thanks for coming out. It was good to see you outside of a work environment,” Marian said, putting her arms out, “I think we could be great friends outside of work on top of how good we are at work.”
Running Rings Page 29