I placed my thumb over my pointer finger and pressed, then continued with the next one as I thought about this whole messed up situation. How shitty would that be to wake up and not remember anything about your past, your loved ones, or even how you felt about someone? And that was what Andi had been going through for the past...what? Almost a week? What if her husband really wasn’t her husband?
Maybe I sat for too long and that’s why she went ahead and asked, “How long have we been seeing each other?” Her eyes zoned in on watching me crack my knuckles.
“A couple of months. I…” Stopping from telling her anything more, I realized she had basically been in two car accidents within a short period of time. What were the odds of that? Had our accident contributed to her amnesia? “Do you remember anything about your car accident? The one that you just had?”
She shook her head. “It was a hit-and-run, from what they tell me.”
“And you don’t remember your first accident? The one when we first met?”
She shook her head and closed her eyes. She really didn’t remember that day at all.
My jaw clenched and I inhaled deeply, trying to thwart the pain. I wanted her to remember how we met. Somehow that was important to me, since it was our running joke because she had been so upset with me that day. “I ran into you at an intersection with my work truck. I was turning and you were going straight. It was a small fender bender, but that’s how we met. We pulled over to the side and exchanged information. You said you’d prefer not to have to report it. Do you remember any of that at all?”
“No.” She thought for a moment and then asked, “Why wouldn’t I report it?”
I shrugged and looked down at my coffee mug, turning it around with my fingers. Maybe I needed something else to focus on other than this whole clusterfuck. “No idea. But you weren’t too happy with me. You said it was your first day of your new job and that you were going to be late. I told you where I worked and you said you’d stop by after so we could make arrangements to have your car repaired.”
Glancing up, I watched her brows pull together as she shook her head. The wheels were turning, and I could tell she was trying to recall something or even anything about that day.
Or was she a really good actress? I hated thinking that, but what if this was all a lie? But why would she tell me that and pretend?
“I take it I stopped by?”
Smiling, I couldn’t hide reliving that day. “Yes.” I chuckled. “You weren’t happy then, either.” I paused and looked around the room before looking back at her. “We made arrangements for me to meet you at my friend’s garage the next day to have your car repaired, and I took you to work from there.”
The corners of her gorgeous mouth turned up in the smile that I loved so much—small but endearing—and it struck me right in the heart. It was my Andi that had that look. God, I’d missed that and it had only been a few days.
I watched her play with her cup, her fingers moving it back and forth. “And did I start to like you after that?” Her eyes met mine, and my heart skipped from her playful glance.
I was having a hard time trying to stay mad at her. I wanted to but I was really fighting it—especially when I recalled that day and how I’d strung her along so I could keep seeing her. “No.” I laughed. “Uh, actually, you kept trying to stay mad at me.”
“And when did I finally start to like you?” Her eyes glossed, adding to the pain of having to retell the story. It was one of our best memories that we had laughed about after we finally got together.
“That would be…” I couldn’t help but smile and roll my eyes. “On a dark and stormy night, actually.”
Her eyes twinkled with amusement. “Dark and stormy night?”
I nodded as she put her elbows on the table, placing her chin in her hands, and awaited with a teasing smile.
“Please tell me,” she urged, her eyes hopeful that I would.
It was a night I’d never forget, and maybe I wanted more pain to add to all that I was already feeling, but something about retelling it to her gave me a weird feeling of hope. Maybe she wasn’t really married, and I could still have her. Then again, I probably had “sucker” written on my forehead too.
Nine
Andi
Cal’s display of emotion while recalling our time together made it clear how much he cared. Even though there were moments he clenched his jaw so hard I thought he might break a tooth, he still continued telling me about us. There were times, hearing him share a special moment, I’d have swooned because it was so obvious he loved this woman. The realization hit me hard that it was me he was actually talking about, and I swallowed. The more I listened, the harder my heart pounded and the more I wished I could remember everything he told me. My lips pressed firm into a straight line, and I briefly shut my eyes. I wanted to be married to this man. But I wasn’t.
Yet the man I was married to recounted stories to me as if it were mechanical, which made me question everything John had told me even more. Unless the way John refrained from letting his emotions into his stories was because he harbored some sort of hatred for me. Did John know about Cal?
A waitress walked by and Cal’s deep, woodsy scent wafted toward me. I was stunned about all that I’d learned in such a short amount of time. My mind tried to keep up with all the new information from Cal. An affair, a new job, and a previous car accident? None of it made sense—especially when I compared it to the life I supposedly led with John.
Studying Cal, who stared into his coffee, I knew he was reluctant to tell me everything even though I needed to hear it. I wanted to know anything about my past, because as I had suspected I hadn’t merely sat up in some empty penthouse all day long, escaping for walks during the day. According to Cal, I had a new job, but where? Everything the man in front of me said felt like pieces of a puzzle falling into place. Except there were so many gaps in the puzzle and I needed all the pieces I could discover. I had to find out everything I could from Cal.
I cleared my throat and smiled when his eyes rested on mine. "So, where were we on this dark and stormy night?" I prompted. A spark lit up his eyes, and my stomach fluttered from his reaction.
"The Freckled Maiden."
I gave him a quizzical look and chuckled at the name. "The Freckled Maiden?" I wasn't sure of the person I had been before. However, from the name alone it didn’t seem like a place I’d frequent. Though I really didn't know anything about my previous life, so why should this come as a surprise?
“What else do you remember about that night?” I wanted him to recount the good things about us, as if that would help balance all the horrible things I learned about my past.
When his eyes rested back to mine, the corners of his mouth turned up slightly, causing my heart to stutter for however many times. I lost count. "You wore an evening dress, black. Beautiful.” He sat back, the look in his eyes so far from where we were as they hazed with a different look than I’d seen yet. He swallowed and his eyes returned to mine. “You were soaked, because there was a horrible rain storm that night.” His voice was deep as he reflected on that night. There was no doubt he had definitely loved me if he remembered such details. “Your makeup ran, your hair was a mess, and yet you seemed like you had decided on something. There was something calm about you despite your appearance."
All I could do was wait for him while I tried to recall anything. My mind was a complete blank, except for the picture he painted for me. It was infuriating and disappointing at the same time. I wanted to remember, to feel the same heart flurry he obviously experienced from retelling it.
"I had asked you what you were doing there, we joked about the dark and stormy night, and then after I asked you what had brought you in there on that fine evening you said 'a date gone wrong.’”
A date gone wrong. Had I dated another guy besides Cal and my husband? My stomach sank and my mouth dried. Who was I? I was a slut, if that's the type of thing I did.
From the corner
of my eye, I spotted a small glint of pink. My lips quivered as I stared at the small blue vase with a single pink rose wedged between the salt and pepper shakers, as if focusing on something pretty might help rid my thoughts of what I might have done in my past.
"Are you all right?"
My hands shook for the second time now during our talk, and for some reason I didn't feel like I could swallow. Tears welled up as I couldn't stop thinking about what type of woman I was. I had cheated on my husband. "Had I said anything about dating anyone else during our...relationship?" My voice wavered.
The pause made me more nervous. He cleared his throat and looked around the room as he answered. "No, not that I recall." The anger in his voice couldn't be mistaken—not to mention he began cracking his knuckles again. All in succession, one by one from thumb to his pinkie. "But then again, I hadn't known you were married to begin with."
That stung as much as the gaze he pinned on me. And I couldn’t blame him, could I? He’d had no idea I had a husband I was cheating on.
I cleared my throat. "Did you question me any further about what date I had been on?" My stomach churned again, and I hoped I wouldn’t need to leave the table. I needed to know how many other men there had been besides Cal.
"No." He smiled sheepishly. "I was actually relieved whatever date you were on had ended and that you walked into that bar that night...and found me."
I bit my lip as more tears threatened, knowing I’d probably broken his heart. Or I would break it. Or I had when he’d found out I was married.
"How did you find me?"
“I’ve been looking everywhere for you. Searching the streets, calling hospitals and police stations. The guy who fixed your car has been calling all the dealerships looking for your car for me too.”
Seeing the heaviness in his eyes, hearing it in his voice, my heart ached for him that he’d been so worried. I reached over, my fingertips grazed the back of his hand, and a shiver swept up my spine. “I’m so sorry.”
I watched his eyes glance down at my hand. Had he noticed I wasn't wearing a ring and had I before? Our eyes met and I panicked for some reason.
I spoke before thinking it through. "I can't find my wedding bands." I immediately regretted saying it. Especially when his face fell and his eyes turned cold.
The air in the room felt the same as the look in his eyes—or maybe it was because he had jerked his hand away, taking the warmth along with it. "You never wore them." His voice had darkened as much as his eyes had. "Not around me, at least."
"I..."
He shook his head as if trying to get rid of his anger. “Andi, not once in all our time together did you ever mention a husband. All of this sounds so crazy to me.” His eyes searched the table, staring at my hands while he tried to figure it all out.
“It feels crazy to me, too.”
His brows pulled together as he searched my eyes. Was he trying to see if I was lying to him? I suppose that wasn’t too far off, since I had never told him I was married to begin with. Why had I done that?
“Since I woke in the hospital, I…Nothing feels comfortable to me. But they had a marriage license. I am married.” I shook my head, still in disbelief too. “I can’t deny that.”
“Is he good to you? Does he seem like…” He stopped short, and I could tell what he was thinking.
“We’re not intimate.” Why had I said that? I was literally explaining my sex life with my husband to my lover. “What I mean is, we’re in separate rooms. He said he didn’t want me to feel uncomfortable until I remembered about us.”
Cal worked his jaw for a moment, his eyes dark and harsh. I had hoped my words would take that away and bring him some relief.
“Andi. You were with me almost every single day. I can’t imagine what he had been thinking. This isn’t making any sense.”
“We were together…at night too?”
I noticed a small twinge at the corner of his mouth. Oddly, it made me want to smile, but if it’s what I was thinking, he was smiling because he had been with me. Intimately.
“Every night, pretty much.”
Which means I had cheated on my husband. Every night.
“Do you need menus?” The waitress appeared at our table. After what I had discovered, I wasn’t hungry at the time, but the moment Cal asked for menus and she turned away, the smell of food hit me hard.
“Sorry. I’m starving and thought since it’s lunchtime, we might as well eat, right?” After staring at me for a moment, he leaned forward. “Are you all right?”
I nodded and straightened up. “Actually, I hadn’t realized how hungry I was.” I guess finding out I had a lover and was cheating on my husband might have thrown off all my senses.
After the waitress brought our menus, I stared at all my options. My mouth watered at each item, and if I could have, I’d have ordered one of everything. It was then that my heart dropped completely, and I’m sure his action was subconscious. His outstretched hand grazed against mine. A bolt of fire shot through me the moment we touched. Our eyes met immediately.
“Shit,” he mumbled under his breath as he pulled back his hand.
“It's…”
Cal gave a slight shake of his head. “We used to hold hands. A lot.”
“Even in public?” The words shot out of my mouth before I had a chance to organize them in a less blatant manner.
Cal chuckled. “Yes. Even in public. We went places, Andi. Never once did you make it seem like we had to hide our relationship. That’s why I’m telling you this is all so…”
“Are you ready to order now?” The waitress appeared again at the most awkward moment.
Cal glanced at me, waiting for me to order, so I went ahead. After he ordered and the waitress left, I felt the weight of his stare.
“What?”
“You’ve always loved turkey Reubens.”
“It sounded really good.” I laughed before I went on. “And looked delicious and messy from the menu—something my mom always warned me never to order in public.” My mouth fell open. “Oh my God.” My heart jumped—hell, everything in my body jumped. I wanted to hop up and down. “Cal. I…remembered—something!”
Cal smiled as my hands flew with excitement.
“What else do you remember?” he prodded.
“It’s her words. I can’t see her. Only the irritation of her being upset with me. I disappointed her.” How would a sandwich disappoint her? “Why would I disappoint her?”
“Probably because she’s classy. Or she was, really.”
My eyes flew to his even though I was still trying to register what I felt and thought. “You…you met her? Know her?”
“We went once. To her nursing home. You were really nervous and I was pretty sure it was because you were bringing me. You went each week.”
“I did?” I slumped, wondering when was the last time I had gone. Was she missing me? “What is she like?”
“Well, she has Alzheimer’s. She barely remembered you, let alone cared about meeting me. Which is probably why you finally brought me along.” He smiled, and a certain spark filled his eyes. “You look like her. In the face. Same eyes, nose. Her hair was pulled back so I wasn’t sure if you got your curls from her or not.”
I touched my hair, remembering it was straightened. Why had I done that? It was something so tedious, but seeing the straightener, it had seemed like something I was supposed to do. Most of the pictures I was in, my hair was straight.
“What did you mean by that? Not the curls part, but why I finally brought you along?” Maybe I shouldn’t have asked why I would bring my lover to the nursing home to meet my mother. Thinking about it, it seemed obvious.
The waitress set our food in front of us and all I wanted was for her to hurry and leave. I waited as patiently as I could but wanted to hear what Cal had to say.
“We didn’t talk too much about our pasts.” He rolled his eyes. “Obviously not too much about our present, or maybe your marriage would have
been brought up.” He looked down at his sandwich as if he were debating how to tackle it. Or how to say what he was going to say. “Your mom. She seemed like she was high class.” He looked out the window and nodded. “Seems like she’d fit in here pretty well.” Working his jaw again, he stared into space, not really looking at anything in particular. “I got the feeling that I wouldn’t have been in the plans she had for you.” He picked up his sandwich and contemplated it for a moment before taking a bite.
As starving as I was, my appetite subsided. Growing up, had I been a snob? Would Cal have been the type of guy I wouldn’t be allowed to date? Thinking about how I straightened my hair, was I the type to try to fit into a world where I didn’t belong? Is that why I’d started seeing Cal on the side?
“You’re thinking too much. You had a breakthrough and I’m sure more will come.” He nodded toward my food. Cal wanted me to not press the issue, and maybe after all I put him through, I needed to respect that. I’d lock away this information to explore later. There was so much I needed to think about. I was afraid to bring up the other little issue—the one now causing my hunger and needing to be fed. I’d keep that pressing issue on hold for the time being. The dates were lining up and panic was bubbling inside of me. It was something I couldn’t think about right then.
My mouth watered as I picked up my sandwich, and I tried my best to squash the conflicting thoughts I was having.
“Andi, there’s something that’s been bugging me.” He shook his head. “Something other than you being married. Why didn’t you return any of my calls? Lana tried calling you too.”
Frowning, I stared at him blankly as I finished chewing and swallowed. Picking up my napkin off my lap, I quickly swiped the corners of my mouth. My sandwich was definitely messy, and if my mom had told me not to eat this in public, I could understand why. Especially in front of a man.
Accidents Happen (Forever Happens Book 1) Page 5