“Cal, I’m so sorry. I need a moment. All of this…it’s…It’s too much.” I left before he had a chance to stop me.
Hurrying down the sidewalk, I heard Lana calling out to me. Well, the name “Andi” really, but I guess that was me now. I shook my head, completely confused on even my name.
“Honey, please don’t do this to yourself,” Lana said as she held my arm firm and stopped me from walking any further. “Cal…he loves you. You guys…you really had a thing going. All this other stuff…Jackass and you, I knew that was over. It really was.”
“You don’t know that!” I flung my arm out to the world. “And now, I might have slept with other men!” Tears were now streaming down my face and I hadn’t even realized I’d started crying.
Lana pulled me to her and wrapped her arms around me, stroking my hair. “Hey, shhh. That’s not true,” she whispered. “Cal wouldn’t have even mentioned it if he thought it were even remotely true. It was a joke between you guys.” She pulled back and gave me a small smile. “Hell, we even joked about it because the woman was psycho.”
I sniffled. “She was?”
She chuckled and nodded. “Yeah. ‘Bright red lipstick’ is all you kept telling me. That she reminded you of one of those women from the eighties videos.” She held my hands and squeezed. “I know you’re going through so much, but really, it’ll all work out. I know it will.”
Pressing my lips together, I debated telling her my secret. How could I tell her when I hadn’t even told Cal? Yet harboring the secret and carrying it alone was too much.
“I’m pregnant.” I think I whispered it so softly I wasn’t sure if Lana had even heard me. She leaned in, her eyes closed, and I watched her exhale.
“Oh, Andi.” She pulled me in again close to her and I let loose again all the tears I had, if there were any left.
I sniffled. “How can I tell Cal? I mean, he didn’t even want to come running out here to deal with me.”
Brushing my hair behind my shoulder, Lana chuckled. “That’s because I told him to sit down so I could talk to my best friend.” She laughed. “The guy would have had you back at his apartment serving you anything you’d want if he knew that part.”
My lips quivered as my eyes met Lana’s. “I don’t know if it’s his.”
She blinked, and took a huge inhale and let it out. “Well, we’ll know in nine months, won’t we?”
“Seven,” I stated, looking blankly at her.
“Seven,” she declared. We stared at each other for a moment before we both chuckled. Admitting that secret to someone other than my doctor brought me so much relief. I could breathe. Turning back toward the bar, she hung her arm around my shoulder. “Ahh, it’s our very own soap opera.”
I chuckled. “Andi and Lana’s World.”
“Yeah. We do have our own little world, that’s for sure.” Her hand patted me. “It’ll all work out. And if it doesn’t…we’ll figure it out, okay?”
I nodded, thrilled to have someone on my side. Finally, I wasn’t so alone in all of this.
“Cal’s a really good guy, Andi. You two, I don’t even know how to describe how happy you were before your accident.”
“Then how come I hadn’t told Cal about having an ex?”
“I don’t know. Maybe you were trying to figure some things out first, ya know? Get your ducks all in a row.”
She pulled on the handle for the bar and held the door open for me. I walked through as I thought about what she said.
Maybe that’s what I had been doing and maybe I needed to go forward with that same plan.
Cal stood next to the table. The worry on his face was more than obvious, and I could only picture how much restraint he tried to have when Lana told him to stay inside and wait. I hoped he could continue to have that same patience while I tried to figure out why I was trying to divorce John. And hadn’t told Cal I was even married.
Sixteen
Cal
Lana was an amazing woman. There were times when her flightiness and her constant chatter may have been a bit excessive, but earlier that day she had saved me. I was pretty sure that whatever I said to Andi would have been the wrong thing if I’d run after her, but whatever Lana had said to her was on target.
Andi came back to the table with a few tears still lingering, but whatever they’d discussed helped take away the panic Andi’d had moments before. In a way it helped to know that Andi was feeling more comfortable and had someone else to talk to.
Until I got Andi alone and she told me she was going back to her husband.
“What? Wait. No.” That’s all I could say. “No.” My heart both sank and hammered inside my chest at the same time, and I swear I could have been having a heart attack. We were inside figuring out all the stuff that the asshole she was married to had lied about, and now she wanted to go walking back into his house? No.
I shook my head as I paced the sidewalk outside while Andi stood there and silently watched me. Stopping back in front of her, I inhaled deeply, trying to calm down. I rubbed my hands on the outsides of her arms. The feel of her expensive coat reminded me of where she lived and what she’d be going back to. I was sure that if she got used to living there, she’d really not want to… What was I saying? The old Andi hadn’t cared at all about where or how I lived. But my fear was that the Andi that didn’t remember us might enjoy those lavish surroundings.
“You were going to divorce him. I’m concerned about your safety.”
Andi smiled. Damn, that smile made my heart beat for reasons other than worry. And her eyes sparkled enough to remind me of all the memories of good times we’d had.
“I know you’re worried. I really do understand. But I need to find out for myself why I was going to divorce him.”
“And what if you go back in there and find out he was trying to kill you or something?”
Her head tilted and by the look she was giving me, I could tell she thought I sounded like a crazy person. But hell, up until then, almost everything had sounded like something from a soap opera anyway. Murder wouldn’t be outside of the craziness we were going through.
“Cal. I’ll be okay. I promise. I have to go back and snoop a little, maybe see if I can find some paperwork or something that would clue me in as to what was really going on.”
I huffed and ran my hand through my hair. Normally I might’ve started pacing again, but I was standing in front of Andi and that was the only place I wanted to be. I’d missed her for way too long, and now that I had her back, I really didn’t want her going off playing detective if she could get hurt.
“I’ll be okay. Really,” she insisted.
Narrowing my eyes, I told her, “Fine. But if anything happens, I’ll be coming up there busting the guy up.” I wasn’t sure what I would do. “Text me. Let me know you’re all right.”
She smirked, pressing her lips together as if it was suddenly funny to her. “Deal. I’ll keep you up to date and text you tonight. I’ll keep my phone off though. You look like you’d blow up my phone.”
I guffawed but loved seeing a little of my teasing Andi coming back. “If those voicemails and text messages hadn’t been erased, you’d realize how badly I can really blow up a phone.”
She smirked and shook her head. “Are you going to drive me there or should I take a cab?” Her lashes batted and that smirk was stronger than before. There it was again. And as worried as I was, I couldn’t help but smile seeing her old personality shine through.
“Driving.” I tugged on her arm and slipped it through mine, hanging onto her as long as I could. She leaned into me and rested her head on my shoulder for a moment before lifting it again. If things were normal, you’d think we were a married couple. Instead, I was driving her home so she could be with her husband.
Things couldn’t have been more messed up, and I didn’t like the scenario one bit.
Seventeen
Andi
Cal, unwillingly, dropped me off at the corner. I wasn’t ab
out to have my boyfriend drop me off right in front of my husband’s condo. No matter what the situation actually was, that seemed incredibly wrong.
Leaving Cal wasn’t as easy as I pretended it was. I had to make him believe I’d be okay or there’d really be no way he would allow me to go back to the condo to snoop. If I had voiced my concerns, Cal would have kept on driving and not let me out of the truck. So I hid my nerves and my reluctance, especially when he pulled up around the corner from my condo.
There was that brief pause between us. The cab of his truck was quiet except for the traffic down the street. My breath caught when he pulled me to him. I was sure his initial intention was an innocent hug, but there was nothing innocent about the two of us being in a closed space together. The scruff of his jaw brushing against my cheek shot excitement through me. That small feeling seemed to fan the flame I’d felt since the moment I’d set eyes on him after my accident. We both lingered, and when each of us reluctantly pulled back, my breath hitched. Our mouths were mere inches away, the warmth of his breath spread across my lips, and everything inside of me tingled with desire.
Neither wanted to make the first move—either to kiss or to break from our embrace. We were at a standstill and the only thing that broke it was a car faintly honking somewhere in the distance.
“Text me. Or call.” Cal’s voice was barely a whisper, breaking the spell I was under. His concern echoed in the tiny space and reminded me of where I was going.
I nodded as I reached for the handle and startled when he popped his door open, practically flying around the hood of the truck to get to me. My door flew open before I had a chance to even wonder what he was doing.
As I stepped out, I debated my decision to leave Cal. My hand covered my stomach as I slung my purse over my shoulder.
Cal cleared his throat as we stood there for a moment. A pause hung in the air. “Can we meet tomorrow for some coffee? Or lunch? I could pick you up.” The urgency in his voice made me smile.
“Actually, I’m meeting my friend Mallory at the spa tomorrow.” I chuckled and rolled my eyes. “Girl time.”
He nodded. “Okay, then. Call me tonight if you need to. I mean it. If you need me at three a.m., call me.”
As nervous as I was, my smile widened. “I will,” I promised.
He squeezed my hand quickly, and I let mine slip out of his. One last smile and wave goodbye and I started walking toward the main street.
As I turned the corner, I glanced back to see Cal still watching me, concern clearly edging his eyes. My heart fluttered seeing his expression, knowing he was waiting until the last possible moment before leaving. I inhaled deeply and walked toward my new mission of finding out why I was really divorcing John. Deep within me, I knew that Cal was really the man I wanted to be with. I had to figure out this puzzle so I could finally be free from my marriage. Being with Cal was what mattered now and if I had to spend time away from him to do that, I would.
When I entered the empty condo, I knew it was way too early for John to be home. Knowing Adelia was already gone for the day, I searched the entire place for any type of paperwork that might help me figure out a reason why I would have wanted to divorce John. Besides the fact that I had, obviously, been in love with Cal.
Finding no papers or file folders lying around my room or in the kitchen drawers, I checked the master bedroom. Searching through the room felt odd. It had been my room at one time, hadn’t it? And yet I couldn’t help but think that maybe I had left, as Cal had suggested. My clothes were in the closet, shoes aligned in the shoe racks, but it felt as though I hadn’t lived there in a while. Well, before my accident, at least. I searched the top shelves, wondering why I hadn’t done it before to search for at least my identity. Maybe there were other things that might lead me to who I had been before.
There was a large, square box. I pulled it down and sat on the floor, knowing it was something that would reveal more to me. After removing the dark green top, I was hit quickly by the musty smell that made me cringe. Unfolding the black tissue wrap, my hand then covered my mouth. Our wedding album. The dark leather was embossed with our names and the date of our wedding four years earlier. As I stared at the date, my breath caught in my throat and tears stung my eyes. Our anniversary date. I looked down at my hand and realized that was why John had taken me to that restaurant. It had been our anniversary. And Mallory had interrupted right before I was going to ask. I had been right but had never gone back to that question.
The heavy book was now set before me and I dared myself to open it. I felt like I was opening the door to someone else’s life. As my fingers ran over the edge of the cover, I finally peeled it back. There was a happy couple smiling into each other’s eyes with their loved ones standing behind them all sharing in their joy. As I turned each page, I wanted to recognize the guests. When I reached the photo of me walking down the aisle, my arm linked with an older man’s, my hand flew to my mouth as I gasped. Was that my father? I quickly turned the pages, searching for the man standing next to a woman. I needed to try to connect to them, to feel some sort of memory.
I swiped away a stray tear before it could hit the beautiful pages, and that was when I saw her—her gray hair swept up in a beautiful chignon, she was staring up at the man who had walked me down the aisle. The depths of their love had been caught in one single photo and I couldn’t help but wonder how long they’d been married. I needed to know their love story, for some reason. As if knowing that might help me with mine.
John had mentioned that my father had passed away but my mother was in a nursing home. And according to Cal, with her Alzheimer’s, would we both stare at each other as strangers, not knowing what to say?
Forgetting my mission temporarily had pushed me into a tailspin of emotions. Unraveling the mystery was all I wanted to do, and instead I felt like I kept getting sidetracked. After pulling that photo from its place in the album, I walked back to my room and slipped it into the side pocket of my purse—the same one that contained my old phone.
There wasn’t an unlocked room or closet that I hadn’t turned upside down in my search. Not literally, of course. I wasn’t about to make a huge mess. John’s office was the only room I hadn’t checked, simply because the door was locked. I had tried to pick it, but then realized how late it was getting. Not wanting to get caught, I went back to my room and wrote in my journal.
Tap. Tap. The sound startled me, but then again I had been engrossed in writing down all my questions and trying to figure out more pieces to the puzzle. My eyes pinned on the door, I caught a glimpse of John’s blond hair through the slit before he pushed the door open and peered in.
The condo was so quiet that I was actually afraid John would hear my heart pounding. Surely he could see my hands shake, and I laid my pen inside my journal and closed it. Although I wanted to believe he hoped for a fresh start, I reminded myself that he’d also been lying to me since I’d woken in the hospital. From now on, anything he told me, I’d have to question if it was a lie.
“How are you?” he asked as he stepped forward into my room.
The concern in his voice was apparent. It only caused my doubts of him to falter yet again. Why had I tried to divorce a man that was clearly worried about me? Unless he was unsure if I’d found out about filing for divorce. Then again, why hadn’t he called me all day? Or had he? No. I had checked my “John” phone right after I’d turned off my real phone and thrown it into the zipper compartment of my purse. Hiding my new phone seemed a little silly at the time, but I didn’t want it to be an issue if it didn’t need to be.
“I’m okay,” I told him as I glanced back at my journal. My heart picked up as I told him, “I saw my doctor today.” My heart warmed as I glanced up.
His eyes softened and the corners of his mouth turned up on each side. “You did? What did he say?” He took a step farther and I knew he wanted to sit next to me, so I patted the area, welcoming him over. My feelings were still mixed. I knew I couldn’t
trust him. Or could I? Had I really tried to divorce him? Or was this something Lana and Cal had made up? No, they wouldn’t do that, would they? I had scratched out those questions from my journal but kept second-guessing that theory too.
Watching John right then, or thinking back to the way he had comforted me…he loved me, right? All his actions so far had been for me. Or…the baby?
As he sat, I told him, “Well, everything is okay with the baby. The stress is normal and a miscarriage could happen for any reason. So basically, he told me to try not to worry so much and enjoy being pregnant.”
The warmth of his hand spread through me as he caressed my hand, then gave a small squeeze. His gentle touch reminded me of how he’d comforted me the night before. “I have a business dinner in about an hour.” He paused for a moment. “Would you be up for attending with me?”
After the long day, the doctor’s appointment being the only part he knew about, I was exhausted. “Actually, I’m a little worn out. I think I’d like to turn in for the night, if that’s all right.”
He nodded and rubbed my shoulder. “That’s understandable. It might be too boring for you anyway. Get some rest for you and our baby.” He leaned in and placed a quick kiss to my forehead before leaving my bedroom.
Our baby.
I paled. What would he do when he found out it might not be his baby? Or what if he was so consumed by the thought of being a father that he would never let me go?
Was all of it a game? He had to have read my messages. Why wouldn’t he ask more questions about my day? Who I was with? Unless he already knew and was spying on me. That sounded so paranoid. Was I being followed and he was playing it cool?
The next day was my spa appointment with Mallory. I opened my journal and began planning the questions I needed to ask her. How I was going to find out if she knew anything about my secret life with Cal? Or if she knew I was going to divorce John? As my supposed best friend, surely she would know those things. The problem was, I wasn’t sure I trusted her enough to ask.
Accidents Happen (Forever Happens Book 1) Page 11